I’m having a major pillow issue lately… it’s like pillow-ocalypse, except less interesting… and less ocalypsy. So, basically it’s nothing like an apocalypse and more like a boring rendition of Monopoly on a Sunday night… except I’ve yet to pass go and collect my $200. Follow me? Me neither! What the heck is up with that anyway!?
Back when I weighed 530 pounds, I had sleep apnea. For those of you not enlightened by this fabulous disease, it basically means I stopped breathing briefly several times throughout the night… most likely because fat blobules were blocking my airway when I was lying down. So, I had to sleep with a loud obnoxious-sounding oxygen machine in my room, wearing a nasal cannula and I had to prop pillows up at the head of my bed so that I could sleep at an incline. I got used to sleeping that way because I slept that way for YEARS… and eventually it got to the point that if I didn’t have my inclining pillows, I wasn’t sleeping. Fast forward 200 pounds lost and now I no longer have sleep apnea and no longer sleep with an annoying oxygen machine the size of a small galaxy in my room… but I can’t give up the pillows. I just cannot get comfortable if I’m not at an incline and if I lie down flat, I have this irrational fear that I may suffocate during the night. Work with me here, Pee Wee!
I’m also a germ-a-phobe, so I buy new pillows every 6 months (they usually are flattened out by that time anyway), and then have to spend a few weeks conditioning these new pillows to be comfortable in my pillow fort of psycho. My current batch of pillows ain’t cutting it and I wake up every morning with a massive crick in my neck and a sore back. Not to mention the pillow cuss out session I have every morning. Lame pillows who don’t know how to do their jobs!
After several weeks of cricking necks and cussing ornery mornings, I finally gave in and was on a mission to find some new pillows. I found some yesterday and so far… I hate them. It’s still too early to tell but these buggers refuse to conform… kind of like Madonna during her cone brassiere phase… except less nasty. I refuse to give up. I may try beating these newbies with a baseball bat, see if that gets their attention… and if not, there are a bunch of rocks outside I’m sure would be a step up.
Question of the Day: Pillows… any recommendations? Are you a back sleeper, side sleeper, etc.?
Welcomed winter today… in the middle of fall. I’m planning on buying the weather system a calendar for its birthday. I’ll be sure to mark the correct snow dates with red marker.
Meanwhile, if you want to find where Lucy-Fur is, you just have to know where the latest sun patch is. She literally follows the patch of sun all day. I wish I was a cat… taking up all the room in my sun patches!