Ode To This Semester: Things I Learned But Didn’t Want To!

Hallelujah and fry me some bacon, gals!  I just finished my final projects for my 2 university classes this past Friday and I feel like I’m approximately 0.00000000009% dumber than I was 3-1/2 months ago at the beginning of the semester.  I say dumber, but I really meant smarter minus the smart part.  So, basically “er”… I’m “er.”  I guess this would be as good a time as any to dole out my knowledge gained during the past 3-1/2 months.  So, take notes… or not… I never did.

–  Did you know that the nonexistent alien beings do not technically have a food web… because they don’t exist?  I didn’t.

–  I learned that the definition of the word “folklore” cannot be defined in less than approximately 85 pages, single spaced in size 6 font.

–  I learned that it is nearly impossible for me to read through a whole chapter in a science textbook without falling asleep at least once every page.

–  I learned that the scientific mind really enjoys stats… and graphs that don’t make sense… like a lot!  In other news… snooooorrrrreeeee!?  Maybe I didn’t care because I was literally too dumb to figure out how to read 75% of said graphs.

– I learned that my family has literally all turned out exactly like my grandmother.  And that’s not a bad thing… except for brown purse bananas… and an obsession with the Publisher’s Clearinghouse.

–  I learned that tests aren’t my forte… especially timed tests… because I find I take my sweet time on the first 25 questions and then find myself with 3 minutes to finish the last 50 questions.  Bad odds there… unless I could channel Rain Man.

–  I learned that my physical science professor’s favorite movie is Jurrasic Park… after which he proceeded to show a clip from that movie at least once every lecture.

–  I learned that all my childhood years of singing grotesque made-up songs about the school burning down is totes folklore and thus, I was totes a normal child singing the made-up, cringe-worthy “Joy To the World the school burned down” lyrics.

–  I learned that it is possible to write up a 15-page essay about one subject… especially when you fill in the middle parts with dialogue from TV shows.  

That about sums it up… or it’s no wonder I’m 0.0000009% “er.”  You would be too!

So, I feel like they invented this thinger so that the next time Hostess goes out of business, the phat folk of the world will have a backup.  Meanwhile, no I did not buy this…

PS – RIP George Jefferson, the feral cat.  I have fed George, he who lived underneath my deck and meowed out to meet me every time I came home but would not let me pet him, for YEARS now.  He’s always been under foot.  I’m guessing he’s passed away since I haven’t seen him for the past 5 days and the food I’ve left out has gone uneaten.  I guess I am glad he doesn’t have to endure another frigid Cache Valley winter outside, but I’ll still miss the little critter.

That’s good ole’ George in the background.  Sweet dreams, buddy.

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9 Comments

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9 responses to “Ode To This Semester: Things I Learned But Didn’t Want To!

  1. cl2

    Sounds like a productive few months? Sorry about your cat. I had a cat like that, too. She wouldn’t let you get close enough to pet her. I tried to bring her in in the frigid cold, but she hated it. She had a bed in the garage. She died at the time of the bad cat food, but I couldn’t find her for a few months. She was buried under the snow. She looked well preserved. I’m not even a cat lover and I cried and cried and cried.

  2. Avster

    Having George in front of the bike looks a little ominous…

    Tests are not my forté either. I would know the answer but the wording on tests always messed me up. I’d over-think the question and then end up giving the wrong answer even though I’d know the correct answer.

    Yay for another term behind you!

  3. Louisa

    I feel ya, Whitney. This semester, our daughter has had to write an report/essay every week for the past 15 wks. Typically, she hammers out about 900 words and then hands it over to me to trim, proofread, and check. Then she makes any changes or additions that I suggest and adds her resource page. Then I go over it again for a final proof. I can usually trim it back to about 600-800 words. She has been getting excellent marks on these reports/essays. She says she is going to do this at college also…to which I reply “oh terrific”…lol. Feel like I am renting out my brain each week. I can see she is really improving in her writing skills though so to be honest I don’t think she will need me by college ( she is just a high school freshman ).
    She teamed up with a classmate for the Shakespeare report & presentation and they earned every single point (A+) so the girls were tickled about that ( as well as the parents ).
    The assignment for this week was to read several sermons and a couple speeches, then write a persuasive essay/sermon of her own about why we should be Christians. It was probably the most difficult one she has had to do but she cranked it out.
    She is really enjoying this new high school curriculum. She has read 12 Classics in her American Lit. class this semester and reported on them; she is loving Latin; she loves Physical Science & the experiments. She is holding her own in Algebra 1. She likes her Economics class as well as Drama & Debate. It is a full load but she is doing very well and we are proud of her.
    We have a Christmas Break Potluck lunch planned for today. She will have some assignments, like reading 3 more books and writing a report each over the holiday break but there won’t be as much of a push. She will start her Spring semester on Jan. 13th, 2014. She will also be studying for her drivers permit over the break. She turns 16 on New Yrs Day! She is getting a Pontiac Grand Prix.

  4. You learned a lot. I didn’t know every one was like Gram. I’m not the only one! My condolences for George.

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