You know those people who go to a class/lecture/church and they sit in the wayyyyy back and try to blend in with the curtains and the wall paint so they don’t get asked questions? Poster child at your service! I’ve never been a class participater. I’d prefer to sit and listen rather than be invaded by the anxiety-ridden/ADD brain I get when having to actually say something outloud. Unfortunately, the Professional Writing course I signed up for is NOT cool with the drapery camouflaging idea… seriously… stop it. In fact, the professor even added participation into the grading. So, written assignments account for 33% of my grade, tests and quizzes account for 33% of my grade, and class participation accounts for 34% of my grade! Basically that means I get to sit through the 3-hour class every Tuesday night like a mental patient about to climb the camouflaged walls! A night in the life of my brain.
Whitney’s Brain: Okay, when should I say something and how should I word it? What if I say a wrong word that doesn’t mean the right thing and everyone thinks I just dropped off the turnip truck on Friday? I can’t think of anything intelligent. What if I talk about donuts? Nope… that sounds dumb. Also, Whitney… do not do those huge sweeping arm movements you do when you’re trying to talk outloud… it looks psychotic and like you are auditioning for the synchronized swimming team. It smells like bacon in here. If a pig were fed bacon, would he be considered a pig cannibal? I hate bacon but I sure do love Charlotte’s Web… because that’s almost about bacon but not really… it’s a prize-winning pig. Although, if I ran into a talking spider I’d have gone all ape crap on it with a book and a thousand pieces of toilet paper.
Professor: Whitney, what are some ways that writing in the workplace is different than writing for school?
Whitney: Wilbur the terrific pig was approximately 2 more movie hours away from becoming a bacon cannibal.
Social anxiety is like the barbecue pits… but literally! Also, that’s why I’m taking a WRITING class because I’m so much better at expressing my thoughts on paper than I am by mouth. Things just get all jumbled up and I can’t string together a coherent thought when that happens. It’s a wonder I even know what’s going on up in that class with all this talk about cannibalism. 😛 It’s also hard to blend in because there are only 10 of us in the class, so it’s not like they won’t notice if you never say anything.
This will be my learning experience. I will learn to conversate in a class setting about cannibal pigs with the best of them! You bet your sweet bacon!
Meanwhile… I miss my daily woggercizing!! Winter only has a few more months, right? Instead of woggercizing, I’m trying to do exercise DVDs/Wii games, except I’m not the most coordinated individual on the planet. I did the Dance Dance Revolution Wii game and instead of following the dance moves because I literally cannot get the moves down, I just flail around like a seizure patient. At least it’s movement and exercise. I need other options, though!
Question of the Day: Any recommendations for winter exercising/exercise DVDs? I’m willing to take any suggestion!
PPS – Congrats to my cuzzin JenJen and husband Seth on the birth of their 2nd son, Blaize! I can’t wait to meet the feller next month, y’all! Clear out the bacon drawer!