Death By Llama Gazing…

I recently read the chapter in my Managing Stress class about humor therapy as a means to control stress in one’s life.  They had a scale of the different kinds of humor and how effective they were at curbing stress.  At the tail end of the scale was sarcasm, which I feel I use in spades.  What was most interesting to me when I got to reading how the book described sarcasm, was that it didn’t match my definition… at all!  The book described it as a very mean and cruel kind of humor, one that hurts feelings and causes anger and lowered self-esteem.  The brand of humor at the top of the stress-relieving list was self-parody, which was much more akin to the version of humor I employ.  It’s basically exaggerating behavior or speech or happenings in one’s life as a means of laughing it off instead of harboring feelings of despair and anger.  And as long as you self-parody without harm to the self-esteem, it’s the best way to combat stressful situations.  Now I can change what I refer to as my brand of humor from sarcasm to self-parody… and thank all that be holy I can because I have a doozy to tell today folks!

Last Monday evening after work, I brought out the ole bicycle for some exercising… a usual thing… nothing to see here folks.  Madre just so happened to pass by and decide she wanted to join me, which is a once in a year happening as I usually go by myself, and prefer it that way so I don’t slow down the more fit people.

Madre chugged out her Wicked Witch of the West get up and we started on peacefully down the road.  (Translation:  I almost got hit by a car when I didn’t look both ways.)  The first 20 minutes was a usual ride… huff, puff, peddle, dodge a kid on a tricycle, run over a yappy dog on purpose, almost eat the pavement, etc., etc., etc.   But then we passed a field of llamas and Madre nearly snapped her neck off trying to catch a glimpse.  She turned her bike around and stopped… and I gracefully did a pirouette chimichanga complete with a double lutz with a grenadier con misa (translation:  I stopped next to her).  Except when I “stopped” I forgot that my feet don’t touch the ground whilst sitting on the bicycle seat, missed the opportunity to hold myself up by foot, and instead tipped over into a gravel pit about 85 feet deep.  So, now I’m lying in a gravel pit, bike on top of me, across from a field of llamas and I say to myself… Self… did you forget to pay your insurance bill?  (Translation:  #&$*#&$#$-IT!)  Turns out llamas don’t take kindly to the insurance bill topic.

After the realization that I  hadn’t broken anything, I finally stood up, only to discover an arm full of gravel pebbles and large pus-filled bumps.  Later that night whilst showering, I found out I bruised half of my right side with a large black bruise centered right directly on my tailbone (translation:  I now chant the entire opening of the Lion King every time I sit down… Nants ingonyama bagithi Baba Sithi uhm ingonyama).   For those wondering, I don’t have pictures of said llamas on account of the fact that I was too busy picking gravel out of my tailbone.

Note to self:  Death by llama gazing makes for a terrible story.  Next time at least hold off for Death by Bigfoot glaring!

 

Got some visits from my friends, Larry and Curly… Moe was at the bar.

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11 Comments

Filed under Exercise

11 responses to “Death By Llama Gazing…

  1. cl2

    A good reason for me never to ride a bike again even though I love riding bikes. I haven’t ever started riding a bike again. It is really boring to ride around Hyrum. You pretty much have to ride into another town to ride very far here. Back when I was young and rode a bike all the time, I fell quite often. I fall quite often just walking.

    • We are cut from the same klutz cloth, Colleen! I have to ride through North Logan, Hyde Park, and a bit of Smithfield before I feel like I’ve exercised. I would never ride on the busy road out to Hyrum though! No how!

  2. Dessa Wade

    What is my “Wicked Witch of the West” attire? Next time take a picture of the Llama so we will believe your self-paraody story:)

  3. Jen

    I love your sense of humor. What a funny story.

  4. Alena

    You are hilarious my friend! I hope you are healing well 🙂

  5. Lindsay

    WHITNEY, that’s not a llama, that’s a deer! Silly girl!

  6. Avster

    ha ha When I saw the post on FB I thought, “Uh… Whit… those aren’t llamas in your photo. 😉

    Now… why wasn’t your mom photographing the entire event? 😀

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