Death By Llama Gazing…

I recently read the chapter in my Managing Stress class about humor therapy as a means to control stress in one’s life.  They had a scale of the different kinds of humor and how effective they were at curbing stress.  At the tail end of the scale was sarcasm, which I feel I use in spades.  What was most interesting to me when I got to reading how the book described sarcasm, was that it didn’t match my definition… at all!  The book described it as a very mean and cruel kind of humor, one that hurts feelings and causes anger and lowered self-esteem.  The brand of humor at the top of the stress-relieving list was self-parody, which was much more akin to the version of humor I employ.  It’s basically exaggerating behavior or speech or happenings in one’s life as a means of laughing it off instead of harboring feelings of despair and anger.  And as long as you self-parody without harm to the self-esteem, it’s the best way to combat stressful situations.  Now I can change what I refer to as my brand of humor from sarcasm to self-parody… and thank all that be holy I can because I have a doozy to tell today folks!

Last Monday evening after work, I brought out the ole bicycle for some exercising… a usual thing… nothing to see here folks.  Madre just so happened to pass by and decide she wanted to join me, which is a once in a year happening as I usually go by myself, and prefer it that way so I don’t slow down the more fit people.

Madre chugged out her Wicked Witch of the West get up and we started on peacefully down the road.  (Translation:  I almost got hit by a car when I didn’t look both ways.)  The first 20 minutes was a usual ride… huff, puff, peddle, dodge a kid on a tricycle, run over a yappy dog on purpose, almost eat the pavement, etc., etc., etc.   But then we passed a field of llamas and Madre nearly snapped her neck off trying to catch a glimpse.  She turned her bike around and stopped… and I gracefully did a pirouette chimichanga complete with a double lutz with a grenadier con misa (translation:  I stopped next to her).  Except when I “stopped” I forgot that my feet don’t touch the ground whilst sitting on the bicycle seat, missed the opportunity to hold myself up by foot, and instead tipped over into a gravel pit about 85 feet deep.  So, now I’m lying in a gravel pit, bike on top of me, across from a field of llamas and I say to myself… Self… did you forget to pay your insurance bill?  (Translation:  #&$*#&$#$-IT!)  Turns out llamas don’t take kindly to the insurance bill topic.

After the realization that I  hadn’t broken anything, I finally stood up, only to discover an arm full of gravel pebbles and large pus-filled bumps.  Later that night whilst showering, I found out I bruised half of my right side with a large black bruise centered right directly on my tailbone (translation:  I now chant the entire opening of the Lion King every time I sit down… Nants ingonyama bagithi Baba Sithi uhm ingonyama).   For those wondering, I don’t have pictures of said llamas on account of the fact that I was too busy picking gravel out of my tailbone.

Note to self:  Death by llama gazing makes for a terrible story.  Next time at least hold off for Death by Bigfoot glaring!


Got some visits from my friends, Larry and Curly… Moe was at the bar.



Filed under Exercise

11 responses to “Death By Llama Gazing…

  1. cl2

    A good reason for me never to ride a bike again even though I love riding bikes. I haven’t ever started riding a bike again. It is really boring to ride around Hyrum. You pretty much have to ride into another town to ride very far here. Back when I was young and rode a bike all the time, I fell quite often. I fall quite often just walking.

    • We are cut from the same klutz cloth, Colleen! I have to ride through North Logan, Hyde Park, and a bit of Smithfield before I feel like I’ve exercised. I would never ride on the busy road out to Hyrum though! No how!

  2. Dessa Wade

    What is my “Wicked Witch of the West” attire? Next time take a picture of the Llama so we will believe your self-paraody story:)

  3. Jen

    I love your sense of humor. What a funny story.

  4. Alena

    You are hilarious my friend! I hope you are healing well 🙂

  5. Lindsay

    WHITNEY, that’s not a llama, that’s a deer! Silly girl!

  6. Avster

    ha ha When I saw the post on FB I thought, “Uh… Whit… those aren’t llamas in your photo. 😉

    Now… why wasn’t your mom photographing the entire event? 😀

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