I’ve been thinking today, aka procrastinating my homework, about how thankful I am that we live in a world where there are fresh starts. As much as I mess up and fall off the neverending railroad track toward success, there’s always that little bit of hope glimmering in the distance… and it’s not lost forever just because I lose my way or fall down… it’s still mine if I want it bad enough. I was thinking this way in regard to what this blog started out as… my journey to lose 5 people and a horse whilst finding myself along the way. I had a pretty dang good method going for a few years and I understood what it took and I was focused on where I wanted to go and just how to get there, but then life happened… and things cropped up that took the place of the other things… and I lost my confidence and I got discouraged… and I found myself back at that place that I didn’t know how to get myself out of… back to that person of long ago… the one who just sat by and let things happen to her. She didn’t control the steam engine and she didn’t know how to turn the key anymore. It was stuck in the off position… or the idle position because there were times where I’d attempt to right myself.
The truth is… I miss that person… that go getter… the one who took the lard sauce by the horns and steered it in the right direction. I MISS HER. It’s overwhelming to me sometimes to think that I had it down… and then I somehow lost it… and forgot how to get it back. If I could be any more vague in my wording of this post, I’d be crowned Miss Vague-y of the Decade… the lesser known sister of Miss America!
So, while I was thinking of all this stuff today, I got out a pen and a paper and I wrote down Whitney’s Rules For Re-Kicking the Patookus Into Gear… and then I got all gung ho and excited and was raring to go. Cut to 3 hours later and I felt a sense of overwhelmed horror… I can’t do all of those things perfectly all at the same time… I might as well not do anything. Been there. Heard that before. It’s not realistic to expect myself to hop onto the train tomorrow morning and become conductor, usher, candlestick maker, and baker all on the same day. It doesn’t work like that. I could post my list of 55 things I swear to all high heaven I’m going to do, but then I need to tackle them one at a time… adding a new item every week or two or three… because that’s more realistic if I want to be nice to myself along the way and gain that self-esteem that is supposed to be the end all be all of everything stress relief… because I checked… Wonder Bread doesn’t sell the self-esteem starter kits next to the Twinkie aisle anymore.
I’m going to write out my list here… a list of the things I need to get back to doing on a regular basis, but contrary to today’s earlier plans, I’m not going to start them all tomorrow. I’m going to pick off one at a time like I did back when I owned it. If anyone sees my train puttering down the track, wave but don’t call the mechanic… she’s just slowly working on loving herself again!
1 – Exercise: Cardio: At LEAST 30 minutes 3 times a week. Weightlifting: Two times a week.
2 – Food logging: MyFitnessPal.
3 – NO SCALE!! First weigh-in tomorrow morning, but then focus on the way I feel rather the number on the scale. Weigh-ins will only happen once a month to make sure I’m moving in the right direction.
4 – Cut down on sweets/sugar.
5 – Make a list of alternative things to do when I want to emotionally eat. (i.e. use stress relieving techniques, chew gum, brush teeth, etc.)
6 – Make a menu and grocery list once a week. If it’s not on the list, it doesn’t go in the cart!
7 – Make a list of acceptable healthy snack alternatives rather than go-to easy crap!
8 – Incorporate new veggies/foods into my regular stuff.
9 – Read positive quotes/stories/scripture at least once a day.
My plan is to use jars and pebbles to keep track of my successes. For the days I exercise/log food properly, a pebble goes into the jar… when I fill up a jar with a certain amount of pebbles, I get a non-food reward, predtermined.
Ready. Set. Go… You got this!