Twelve Layers Of Support and A Positive Attitude…

I feel about 105 today… give or take 20 years.  I’m guessing it’s because I haven’t drunk enough Diet Dr. Pepper… either that or I’m getting old.  You know it’s super lame when you get to brag about shoulder bursitis (it hurts), elbow tendonitis, and sharp knee pain when taking the stairs or general bending of said appendage… then there’s the stiff neck and back issue from too much slumping over the computer at work.  Is this what it’s like to be 105?  I’m starting early.  I could go on but then what am I going to talk about whilst sitting on my porch in a rocking chair 45 years from now?  Gotta save some of the good stuff for Pearl and Merle to commiserate with.

It’s when I get to grumbling that I remember the Sam’s Club lady and have to snap myself out of it.  Who is the Sam’s Club lady you ask?  Every Saturday I drop by the club… I love their produce and I always have to buy a container of their cherub tomatoes, strawberries, and whatever other vegetable or fruit happens to be on my weekly menu.  Saturday is sample day… that is if you don’t mind elbowing a few 95-year-olds to get to the last vegetarian chicken patty sample.  There’s one sample lady I look forward to every week.  You can hear her from a mile away, her spiel is always the same… Come try some… it is sooooooooooo yummy! Such a good price!  Picture that said by a darling little Asian lady.  She says that over and over and over.  She is genuinely excited about whatever she gets to sample… even if she’s stuck sampling dog biscuits or frozen brussel sprouts.  I usually end up buying whatever she has to sample because I’m a pushover (I don’t know what the helium balloon I’m going to do with 800 dog biscuits… they’re kind of dry. 😛 ) and apparently you can sell me on positive influence.  This past Saturday she was sampling some hideously disgusting barley salad.  The ingredients were fine and dandy… it was the dressing they put on said ingredients… but I still told her it tasted yummy… because I’m jellyfish-spined like that.  No barley salad entered my cart this week… I’m pretty impressed at my resistance!

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In other news… the dancing update.  The sweet choreographer for Mary Poppins has finally taken pity on us (I’m pretty sure I was a big reason for said pity) and she has modified the final bow dance I’ve been practicing for the last 2+ months.  The dance is still super uber fast, but compared to the non-modified version, it is MUCH easier to get in… MUCH.  The only problem, I feel like that kid on A Christmas Story bundled up in the snowsuit when I go to dance practice.  These flabs could seriously wound my surrounding competition (let’s face it… we’re competing for arm flailing space).  It is quite the production… twelve layers of support and a built-in heater, which of course is wayyyyyyy too hot to be moving around vigorously in.  I’m already sweating by the time I get there… and then I go home looking like a sewer rat.  The alternative is too gory to think about… imagine the casualties!  Died whilst being flabbulated to death!  I don’t want that responsibility… hear!?

Tyler was born to play Bert… he’s the next Dick Van Dyke… but with a better name!  😛

PS – Have any of you dealt with shoulder tendonitis/bursitis?  Do you have any tried and true remedies?  I’ll do anything, including rubbing said shoulder with cow intestines (JUST KIDDING… nevermind that idea)!

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8 Comments

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8 responses to “Twelve Layers Of Support and A Positive Attitude…

  1. cl2

    I’ve been having back problems and I found these little menthol pads in the icy hot aisle at Wal-Mart that seem to help quite a bit. They MIGHT help. I’ve found the only thing I could do with my shoulders is not use them much until they start feeling better. Oddly enough, my back hurts less when I’m sitting in my work chair. Icy hot has always helped,my elbow tendinitis. But then you get to smell old, too.

  2. Dessa

    Now you know how it feels to be old! You have to be quick in Sam’s club to get those samples:)

  3. Louisa

    I have back issues (Sciatica) is low back pain combined with a pain through the buttock and down one leg. The leg pain usually goes past the knee and may go farther to the foot from having my son (almost 14 yrs ago) and then developing a blood clot in my right leg.
    I have found walking helps my sciatica and also sitting on a big exercise ball when I am at my computer. It helps my posture too. I can’t sit in a straight-back chair for very long.
    Yes, I have had shoulder & elbow pain before from injuries. What really helps me is my massage therapist. I can literally go days not able to even pick up a gallon of milk without using both hands – to no pain or discomfort at all after one of her sessions. She can spend 20 min. on my shoulder or elbow doing deep tissue massage and put me on limited lifting restrictions for a few days. Yes, it hurts at first but that is how she gets it to heal. After those few days though…there is no pain at all. It’s amazing.
    (whatever I have injured this time) and within 3 days, it’s all better.

    • That sounds miserable. I’m glad you found something that helps it. I’m always reluctant to go to a massage therapist, but if this keeps up, I’m going to do it. Thank you for the tip, Louisa!

  4. Alena

    I love that picturesque shot! That is cool about Bert–my daughter loves the janitors books! Good luck with the dancing bit 🙂 Save me a rocker on the porch, so we can talk about all our aches and pains together. I keep thinking that if this is what 36 feels like, I’m in a lot of trouble when I age another decade or few.

    • And here I hadn’t even heard about the Janitors series until Mary Poppins. Some kind of reader I am. Kayla must be a reader!? I’m definitely saving you a rocker. We have a lot to commiserate about at 36; imagine in 40 years!?

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