Couchless…

If anyone feels the need to adopt a giant overgrown woman child named Whitney now’s your chance.  I come with self-cleaning and self-cooking apps, so no need to fret over that.  I also make a mean handwashing police if you need someone to stand next to the sink and remind your kids they should wash their hands approximately once every 5 seconds.  You might want to store a baseball bat in the convenient under sink location, because after 30 seconds of the reminders, all bets are off.  Some people don’t even make it that long.

Why the need for grown woman child adoption papers?  I’m pretty much couchless as of Saturday night, and I do not know what to do with myself or myself’s rear receptacle.  Madre got a wild hair on Saturday morning and decided to try to sell the couch, chair, and ottoman on KSL classifieds.  Remembering she tried to sell a couch once before and not a one person bit, I was sure this would be the same outcome… until some dude came out on Saturday night, mere hours after she put the ad up, and paid cash for all 3 items!  So, now I’m couchless.  It’s like I’m wandering the streets of Vegas nekked and frantic, except with clothing.  Meanwhile, some poor people in Africa are smiling whilst sitting on a pile of cow dung… first world problems… expert complainer at your service.

***

In other news, I’m having major senioritis this semester… there are 4 weeks left of fall semester and I have approximately zero “give a craps” left for homework and reading purposes.  The other day I wrote a 4 page paper using a thesaurus.  I just scrolled through the words, found the most impressive and giant ones and made sure those suckers were included.  I’m banking on the fact that a music professor does not read papers… but I’m guessing that is probably like saying a nerd never plays chess.  Not gonna happen, my geeks!  As for my Italian class… let’s just say if I ever accidentally get lost in Italy and no one around me speaks anything but Spanish and/or Italian, I’m dying in Italy.  If anyone finds my two “give a craps” could you FedEx them to me?  I’m pretty sure they will also carry over into Sprinter semester starting in January too.  One good thing… there is a light at the end of my neverending geezer schooling tunnel.  I can see the light… I hope I can crawl on all fours toward it in the next year.

SNOW!  Take a hike off a steep cliff down a ravine and far away from me!

This is Baby BoBo’s impersonation of the Donald Trump Windbag hairdo… kind of swoopy… but Baby BoBo is a lot cooler and smarter too!  😛

Also, could you just even with those cheekins!

BoBear thinks he’s pretty hilarious at the Sam’s Club with Auntie Whitty Woo!

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6 Comments

Filed under School

6 responses to “Couchless…

  1. I’ll adopt you! We need handwashing police anyways.

  2. Dessa

    What weird creatures of habit we are. I am on it to find a new couch but it might be a little while:) DON’T, I REPEAT, DON’T get senioritis yet! You can make it!!!!

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