JANUARY!!!!!! JaNuArY (translation: that’s 12-year-old girl speak for January)! I heart-scapade January!
Nope… didn’t work. Can’t say I didn’t try to be all enthusiastic about my least favorite month of the year! No offense January, but I’m thinking you’d be a lot more pleasant in say… Hawaii… or Australia! So far, I’ve muddled through 12 below zero nightly weather and an inversion so thick I didn’t need to eat dinner on account of the fact that there was pollution soup GALORE! Negative Nelda really enjoys rearing her ugly tentacles during this month. I’m trying to squash her, but so far she’s taken up residency in the candy aisle and won’t budge. Stupid Nelda… for crying outloud! I’ll be able to squash her for a minute or two the first time I catch a glimpse of a blue sky… or you know… a sun. Give it back, tropical island… the sun, I mean!
In other news… New Year’s Eve we had reservations for this expensive steak house in the valley. Since I love me a piece of walking beef with a bell around its neck, it seemed like a perfect fit. We really chose it because they were having a special, 2 for $45 gig… which is still too much for a bloody side of sinewy flesh… I was really hoping they had salad and chicken. We called in advance and made reservations for 7:45. By 7:30, my work pager rang and I had to take care of some jobs before I could go, so we called to ask if we could move the reservation back. They told us they were running behind, so it would be no problem if we didn’t show up until 8:30 or whatever (probably had to scoop up the steer road kill and fillet the mignon or something).
We got there around 8:20-ish and the waiting areas were packed with people… waiting, I suppose, so we stood next to a stinky fireplace that smelled like they just poured a can of kerosene on some blackened logs and called it an evening. Hey, that’s how I learnt me how to start a fire in young women’s. The hostesses were not giving out estimates of how long it would be… they were being very vague (which was a problem… honesty is the best policy), and so there were a couple of parties who marched out after having waited half an hour to an hour for their reserved table, and told the hostesses what they thought about that. Reign it in fellas… it ain’t their fault. We had waited 20 minutes when we overheard a woman come up and say that she’d been waiting an hour for a party of 4, and they had run out of baked potatoes and something else really important. POTATOES!?!? I mean, we’re 20 minutes from the Idaho border here!
That was the last straw… that and the fact that I may have ignited myself into flames with any static electricity on account of the fact that the kerosene smell had permeated my hair follicles. We left in below zero freezing temperatures and high tailed it to Sizzler’s 5 minutes before closing time. Who closes at 9:00 on New Year’s Eve!?!? Uh, Sizzler’s does! I know they love when people show up to dine at closing time and make them stay later! Suckers!
Moral of the story: Do not let people without baked potatoes walk all over you… you’re worth more than that. Second moral of the story: January shmanuary!
We are super proud of Christian who will be going back out on his mission to Pennsylvania on Wednesday… good job, kid! Wear thermals!
Either that or he’s doing his very best cookie impression… but he soon got acquainted with Cookie’s eyeballs… because babies are fans of the eyeball flavor.
Oh baby BoBear… I hope they taste like chocolate chips!