Hello… It’s Me…

Adele is ruining my ear worm life… I can’t get that above song out of my head.  It’s like a never-ending loop, except I don’t know all the words, so it’s mostly… Hello… It’s Me… over and over and over again.  Y’all… climbing the padded walls is only fun when nobody gets hurt!  Stop the Insanity.  I like Adele, I do… but this song is on every time I turn on the radio!  In the meantime I’m anxiously awaiting the song sequel… Goodbye… It’s You, Not Me…  Ultimate breakup song extraordinaire!

In other news, one of my goals this year is to quit being a gigantic lazy patookus and get back to cooking meals that are more involved than stirring a can of beans, corn, and diced tomatoes together.  If it involves more than one dirty bowl, and more than 5 steps, I try to stay away from the recipe… mostly because I’m trying to save myself from stabbing myself in the eyball with my graceful kitchen skills.  It could happen… I once stabbed a hole in my hand trying to declove a clove of garlic.

The first recipe I went for is a healthified vegan version of lasagna using black beans instead of meat and tofu ricotta instead of actual cheese.  I saw it on my favorite Food Network show, Trisha’s Southern Kitchen, and it’s Garth Brooks approved, so what’s good enough for Garth Brooks and Trisha Yearwood is good enough for Whitney, the Graceful Kitchen Knife Stabber… plus, the recipe got rave reviews and 5 stars from the general public online.  Even having been vegetarian at one point for nearly 10 years, I never got much into using tofu.  In my mind, it was this weird mass of goobers in a box, and I try to stay away from that kind of thing on a regular basis.  What I have learned, though, is that tofu can take on any flavor profile you give it, so I took the plunge.

The recipe called for raw cashews and nutritional yeast (not the same as bread yeast)… both of which the regular grocery store did not carry, so I had to go across the street to the health food store that smells like a mix of hemp and athlete’s foot.  Not that I know what athlete’s foot smells like, but I can only imagine it smells similar to the health food store.  And then the problems began.  When making the homemade spaghetti sauce for the lasagna, I made the mistake of trying to pop off the shaker lid on the oregano over the top of the pot, and managed to accidentally pour half a bottle of oregano in when the top came flying off.  Too much oregano tastes like athlete’s foot, so to try to fix it, I poured in 75 more cans of diced tomatoes/tomato paste.  It was still too bitter tasting, and I had enough to feed the entire state of Rhode Island.  After half an hour of simmering the bitter bucket of crap, I threw it down the drain.  Et tu, oregano!?!?  This after trying for an hour and a half to get the food processor to process up my ricotta, I almost gave up cooking for life.  Turns out I was putting the stupid container on backwards.  Don’t be prejudice food processors of America… backwards is a thing too!

I’m thinking of auditioning for the Most Challenged Cooks In America.  If that’s not a show, it really should be one.  I’m not only a contestant… I’m the club president!  The verdict on the black bean lasagna with tofu ricotta?  Pretty dang tastee if I do say so myself.  Next time I’ll make my imaginary chef make it.

***

We had our sweet family friend, Lavon over last night for dinner to celebrate her birthday!  She is 92 years young and a spitfire if nothing else.  I have fond memories whilst growing up of playing the card game Hand and Foot with Lavon.  HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Lavon!

Makayla was sure no one would remember what this picture meant… it’s obviously 92 with help from Corbin!

Lighting the candles… we didn’t have 92 candles… and the fire department thanked us.

BoBo Bear picture of the week:

Have a fab week, friends… Spring semester starts tomorrow for me, so I’ll be back in my usual spot of banging my head against an Italian wall.  Oh, Italy… why is your food so tasty, but your language so not tastee!?

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8 Comments

Filed under Family, Uncategorized

8 responses to “Hello… It’s Me…

  1. Come visit me! We will cook and mutilate our hands together!

  2. Louisa

    Hello….it’s me….I’m in California, dreaming about who we used to be…
    Thanks A LOT, Whitney! You just gave your ear worm to me!

    I had to laugh out loud when you were talking about the health food store smelling like hemp and feet. I just about choked on my hot tea!

    92 years young! WOW Go Lavon.
    I haven’t heard of the hand and foot game…

    Oh my gosh! BoCutie is so adorable in his 4month shirt and that SMILE and that little hat and of course his FAVORITE blue Cookie Monster from AuntieWhittyWoo.

  3. Dessa

    I’m exhausted after reading about your cooking fiasco! That was a lot of work but I have to admit it didn’t taste too bad. Love my baby Bourne!

  4. Alena

    Oh man, I hate it when things go awry when I’m cooking! I’m glad it tasted good! I would try it, but it sounds like too much work, plus I would probably lose my appetite going into the athlete’s foot store for ingredients😊 I did make your cranberry salsa for bookclub though, and it was a big hit!! Darling pictures! Good luck with the new semester!

    • Yay for book club and cranberry salsa! I am very impressed! It was a lot of work… that’s why when you win the next lottery you should just move to Hawaii and hire a chef to make it for you!

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