Y’all… don’t worry about me, my folks are in Italy at the moment and have been texting me very inappropriate pictures of nekked statues. Just because you’re a statue from a bajillion years ago does not mean you get a pass from wearing clothes! The HUMANITY! Alert the church elders! With parents like that it’s no wonder I turned out the way I did! Thank you, Mr. Rogers… and BoB Ross.. and Jem and the Holograms…
In other news, I’m a mess! What’s that you say? How is that any different than any other day. Sit down, smarty pantaloons! I’m messier than normal, which should down right scare the bejeebers out of Northern Utah and surrounding states. I’m having a particularly bad case of fuzzy brain syndrome. Just this weekend, I’ve managed to give away tickets to a concert to a friend wherein I told her the wrong date for the concert… during a visit with a friend (hi Audrey), I managed to call her the wrong name a few times… I forgot to bring my debit card when I went to lunch with a friend and she had to pay and now I’m sure she’s having 2nd thoughts about being my friend (the money is in the mail)… and then there was the incident with the police officer. I’m not a fan of running into police officers. It’s not that I’m not grateful for the work they do… it’s just, you see, I’m intimidated by authority figures. I’m the type of girl who will try to blend into the wall to avoid being called out by someone in charge.
Short story long… on Saturday I was filling up my gas tank at the new Maverick downtown. I was the only one at any of the tanks, and so there were 800 empty places for people to fill up that weren’t the same tank I was at. But no, this police officer pulls right up to the exact same tank I’m at, but on the other side. I would have given him a talking to, but that would require some pretty strong alcoholic beverages and perhaps a couple of Valiums. I’m all trying to stare at everything but this police officer, and so I pretended I was picking the 7 billion blobs of bird doo off of my windshield (thank you magpies)! After what seemed like a katrillion years, my tank finally finished and I proceeded to remove the nozzle hose majig and put it back on the tank. When done, I then had to answer questions about wanting a receipt and/or a car wash, and I was all flustered because I just wanted to leave.
I finally got into my car and started pulling away from the tank when all of a sudden the police officer came running at me right in front of my dagnabbed car (which was moving by the way), waving his arms. ARE YOU SERIOUS!?!?! Is “too much bird doo on car” a felony now!? I was perplexed because I had made sure I’d fastened my seatbelt and I was going like 1 mph at the moment, so I certainly was not speeding, and it was the middle of the day so none of my headlights or taillights were burnt out… I certainly haven’t been in a drug bust recently… and I made sure to hide all of my open Ovaltine containers! WHAT GIVES!?!?
I tremblingly rolled down my window and must have looked like a frightened DoDo bird with my mouth all hanging open and my lips trembling because I’m about to cry…
“Ma’am, you forgot to put the lid on your gas tank and close the cover.” He said.
Ain’t it glorious to be an overreacting woman species, y’all!? I then forgot to put my car in park before I tried to get out, but his legs are fine everyone… GOSH!
I would be remiss if I didn’t mention the passing of my sweet sweet friend, Janell Fowers. What a beautiful spirit who is now free from all of her earthly burdens. She was always so kind to remember me and give me a call to talk her favorite topics, vacuums and Roto Rooter… and to just ask how I was and how my family was. We also always had a laugh about her having to wear headphones whenever I’d do a musical number in church because I was “too loud!” My family agrees with you, Janell! I learned so much from her ability to accept everyone for who they were. I was definitely not the friend to her that she was to me, but maybe that’s something I needed to learn. Thank you, Janell! I love you! You are an angel now, sweet girl! Much love, prayers, and hugs to her family and friends.