Mothballs and Geezer Teenagedom…

You know how when your dental hygienest recommends you to use a certain mouthwash, so you’ve been using it for years and you kind of love the way it makes your mouth feel all sparkly fresh? But then you know how years after you’ve been using this certain mouthwash every single day and then you go to a different dental hygienest who tells you that you shouldn’t be using that mouthwash because it has alcohol in it and alcohol is damaging to your teeth… and blah, blah, blah. You know? No one? coughcoughNOONECAREScoughcough. The new dental hygienest recommended a different kind of mouthwash to use because it’s alcohol-free and the dentist uses it too… and to boot IT’S PURPLE!!!! I’ve been using the new mouthwash now for the last month… and I have to say I HATE it with a passion of 72 cumquats! You know how when you get some rotten mothballs out of the attic, soak them in a pint of water, and then drink the water… THAT there is how this mouthwash tastes… NASTY! But I bought the huge bottle of it and dental hygienests are NEVER wrong (scratch the first one off the list)… so use it I will. In the meantime… DISCLAIMER: I’m a professional mothball eater, do not attempt mothball water at home…

In other equally as non-fascinating news, last week was record-breaking idiot making on my part. I mentioned last week I had 4 proctored tests to take due to my procrastination skillz and general lack of motivation to read anything textbook in the summer. I’m on a strike… it’s called Idiots Striking Common Sense. I’m not only a member, I’m the club president. So I pulled off late study nights and constant nightly reading sessions and by the end of the week I was spent and the teenage students running the proctored testing center all knew me by name. And to think finals week isn’t for 2 more weeks! Get used to it teenagers… Whitney is geezering her way to your center at least 6 more times in the next 3 weeks! Y’all celebrate my geezer teenagedom! Also, physics still sucks but they just discovered gravitational waves this year so I mean we’re living in a totes exciting physics time right now… and by exciting I really mean… SNORRRREEEEEE! Let me know when they discover sugar that isn’t sugar but still tastes like sugar! Momma wants a dagnabbed non-sugar-free sugar cookie with frosting and sprinkles and maybe a brownie with real chocolate frosting. Get on that physicists… make your mark in the world of Whitney’s Excitements! Did I mention it’s day 71 of sugar-freeness? Good. This week’s temptations included the aforementioned sugar cookies and a frigging chocolate sheet cake that I almost buried my entire face into.

PS – Happy Pioneer Day, Utah! I hope your celebrations include sugar and maybe a firework or three!

PPS – Happy 16th birthday to my nephew, Ethan tomorrow! Laws almighty… 16 already!? The roads of Utah welcome you to the driving club!


Baby BoBo knows he’s the coolest dude in school… him and hims glasses and gap teeth! You go, my baby!


Oh look… here’s my goodest pal, Harley! Meanwhile, Harley could not be less enthused!

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3 Comments

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3 responses to “Mothballs and Geezer Teenagedom…

  1. Alena

    Oh my darling BoBoness! He really is the most adorable kiddo ever! And I love your scenery shots too! Amazing! I’m all with you on the discovering sugar that isn’t sugar that tastes like sugar– that would be the greatest scientific breakthrough 😉 I am so impressed, I mean so impressed with your sugar-free-ness! You inspire me! Thanks so much for making time for me while I was in town. It was so fun to hang out with you! I’ll start working on that 40th birthday trip list. I have a feeling your coin is going to be really polished by then… You better start making the bucket list, and I’ll polish the coin😉

  2. Louisa R

    I love the last pic of Bo. He just looks so content.
    The sunflower and the sunset pictures are also wonderful.
    Good luck with your tests.
    Great job on the sugar-free marathon. You are doing a great job.
    Have you been able to tell a difference since you are over the 2month mark ?
    I hear ya on the mouthwash. Hate the stuff. They either burn because of the alcohol in them or they are loaded with chemicals and sweetners.
    I finally had enough and went on Pinterest and found one I like and just make it myself.

  3. Very funny post. My hygienist just gave me all sorts of recommendations. Great job on the sugar free too! I will let you know if I discover that kind of sugar.

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