Category Archives: Chocolate

Short and Unsweetened…

This will be short and unsweetened as I’ve yet again procrasternated my homework and now I have to take 4 tests this week… 3 in sociology and a 2nd midterm in physics (have I mentioned lately that physics sucks? If not, consider it said a billion times over)! Stupid physicists! Also, do not ask me why the professor calls this particular physics test a 2nd midterm because midterm #1 was around the actual midterm point of the semester and now with about a month left in the semester, you can’t call it a midterm anymore… Look who’s schooling the geniuses!!! That’s right physicists ain’t always the smartest bunch of grapes in the market!

In other news, in my quest to find a sugarless delectable, I came across a weird butt 3-ingredient recipe for a chocolate cake! It should by no means work because the ingredients make as much sense as a 15-toed sloth… but heck, I schooled a physicist, so why the heck not the home ec teacher!? Plus, I haven’t eaten chocolatey goodness in forever!! I made it last night and then spent the rest of the night glowing in my chocolatey success!

Oh chocolate cake!! The ingredients? One banana… one egg… one tablespoon of unsweetened cocoa powder. THE END!! Blend those all together in a blender, pour into a ramekin sprayed with Pam and bake at 350 for 10 to 12 minutes (mine took longer) or the microwave for 1 minute. I added some raspberries and sugar-free cool whip because why the heck not? I mean… that shouldn’t work, right? IT DID!!

Bare in mind… it has been 64 days since I’ve eaten an actual sugary dessert, so my taste buds for chocolate cake ain’t what they used to be… I gave this 3 sloth thumbs up… especially with the added raspberries and sugar-free cool whip! You’re welcome world!

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Baby BoBo is getting into so much mischief…


A boy and hims kitty…


Look at me… I so beauty-full with my new lippysticks!

PS – I got to hang out with my BFF since we were 10, Alena this past weekend. She was visiting from Outer Siberia! It sure was fun to catch up, friend… be writing down your 40th vacation bucket list… I’ll polish the coin we’ll flip!

PPS- I will blog next time about the parking garage incident that at least 5 people asked me about (thanks for bringing it up Madre… NOT)! In the meantime… the suspense shouldn’t kill you because it is a lame story!

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Tripping Down Memory Lane…

While I was in the birthplace of Rexburg, ID last weekend, I was feeling nostalgic.   I had an overwhelming urge to visit all of my old haunts and terrorize the new residents of said haunts.  Everything was so much smaller than I remembered it.  Is it possible that places and houses shrink as they age?  People do… why not houses?  I think it has something to do with the Jersey Shore epidemic… our brains are shrinking, so the things around us shrink as well.  Or… maybe it just had something to do with the fact that the memories I had of these places were when I was 1-, 2-, 3- and 4-feet something… and now I’m towering near 5’9″.  Actually… and this made me the happiest of happies!  When I was at the doctor in January for my quarter yearly visit, the nurse kept looking me up and down whilst looking at the chart (the creepiest of creepies)… and she’s like… there’s no way you’re 5’3″… and I’m like, on my knees I’m close… and she’s like… that’s the height they have in your chart.  So, she measured me again (in shoes) and I came in at 5’8″!!!  All these years I thought I was 5’9″ (or 5’3″ according to my chart).  Y’all… I’m practically a short person now… or maybe I did shrink in height during weight loss.

SHUT THE TRAP, Whitney!

Back to the haunts.  The first drive by was my grandparents house.  I have fond memories of that house.  My grandpa was quite the gardener.  He loved his pansies and had a beautiful flower garden in the backyard.  My grandpa passed when I was 7 or 8 years old, but I still remember tending to his flower garden with him when I was a little girl… watering the flowers… and I will always attribute my love for pansies to my grandpa.

There are trees missing from the front yard… and I’m sure the backyard isn’t kept nearly as nicely as it was in the olden days.  In the basement of this house, my grandma had an apartment that she rented out to married college kids.  My sister and I were forever trying to sneak into that apartment.  We got in a couple of times… snoopy snoopersons.  It’s a wonder that I was never hog tied and thrown out the window.  I also remember having wars in the backyard with the neighbor kids through the fence where we’d throw apples at each other and call each other names… it was glorious.  A feeling of happiness still washes over me when I see this little house.

The next stop was to Porter Park… just a couple of blocks from gram’s house.  We used to walk there in the summers… and then beg to ride the carousel.  Rexburgians… is the carousel still open in the summer?  It looked a little sad in March… all shut up.

I had to take a picture of the inside through the glass… which turned out really great as you can guess already!

Then we were off to the house I lived in as a child.  I have a lot of rebble rousing memories about this house… peeing on the neighbor’s sidewalks, wreaking havoc like havoc hadn’t ever been wreaked!

I also remember rolling down that hill, and hoping we didn’t get concussions when we landed in the street and bonked our heads on the pavement… and/or get run over by a car.

If you go to Rexburg and you don’t go to Porter’s… there’s something wrong with your brain space.  Porter’s is pretty much the only store you need to go to.  Porter’s pretty much has everything craft you can think of… everything.  If you want to make something out of dental floss, I’m sure they’d have the supplies.  I somehow missed a picture of the outside, but on the inside I did take pictures of everything owl… and Madre even made her way out the door with this little diddy…

It’s a bobble head owl.  He jiggles if you set him on a table and tap him.  Our final stop down memory lane was to the best chocolate place in the history of the United States.  I’ve eaten my fair share of chocolate… I’m like a chocolate taste tester who pays to taste test.  Where do I get the job the other way around?  Everyone else needs to quit trying… Florence’s Chocolates are HANDS DOWN the best chocolates in the United States of America, Canada, Uruguay, Lichtenburg, Antarctica, and that country I can’t remember the name of.  HANDS DOWN!

Florence, the owner, actually sang at my parent’s wedding back in 1682.  Yes, that wasn’t a typo… it was that long ago!  Florence knows how to make a PMSing chic smile.  I’ll tell you what!  A moment on the lips… a lifetime on the hips.. and DAGNABBED worth every bite of it!

Question of the Day:  Where’s your hometown?  Do you ever go back and walk down memory lane?

Oh look… Baby Cruz is saying bye bye and happy weekend, friends!!  Thanks for sticking with us and have a splendid weekend!

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Filed under Childhood, Chocolate

National Chocolate and Sugar Binging Day…

That’s my new name for today’s holee-day.  We, as a human race are clueless.  Do we not understand that the invention of Valentine’s day was thought up by a sounding board made up of Hallmark people, chocolate people, and flower growers with a few Victoria Secret (what the helium balloon is Victoria’s secret anyway?  Is she really a man?  If any of you uncover the secret, let me know ASAP!) chicks thrown into the mix.  Seriously?!?!?!?  Why does there need to be a special day in which you stop off at the 7-11 on the way home from work because you forgot to get something for your loved one and if you don’t get something for your loved one, you’ll be living in the dog house for eternity!  And it’s too dagnabbed bad if you don’t have a dog or a house because then basically the garbage can is your next best option… right after sewer drain.  And then hygiene goes to pot and  you start being known as the dude who smells like moldy feet and then basically you wander the streets wearing a cardboard box with a rotted banana peel on top of your head because it’s raining and you live in Seattle!  THE HUMANITY!  See the psychological harm this day can cause!?  I just can’t live with it anymore!!!!!!

Deep breaths, Sybil… deep breaths!

I do love me some chocolate and some frosted sugar cookies from the Grist Mill the size of my liver, and the bane of my existence seems to be yelling FEED ME in it’s loudest fat multiplying voice… why yes my fat cells talk… don’t  yours?  So, basically, I’ll eat my sugar cookie and I’ll exercise to burn the sucker off.  The Hallmark Coalition went to all that work to make sure this was the best possible binging day and who am I to pooper up the par-tay?  So, anyway… all this to say… Happy Freaking Sewer Dwelling Valentine’s Day, friends!!

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Meanwhile… my knitting addiction is hitting new highs… apparently I just bought enough yarn to make an afghan the size of Afghanistan… no joking around.  And now I’ve added my owl addiction to my knitting addiction and I went and made this:

Except, I don’t really know how to work with 2 different colors of yarn in the same row, so I had to do a LOT of additional doctoring to make it stick together and I wouldn’t be surprised if I walked out into the living room and find it in unraveled in a pile of yarn.  Do any of you knitters have any tips on how to do 2 colors in the same row so that there aren’t so many hanging stringers?  Obviously, it was wayyy above my skill level… but he makes me smile anyway!

Question of the Day:  Do you have an Valentine’s Day plans?  Which kind of sugary treat is your favorite?

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Happiness is… PMS!!!

PSYCHE!!!  I would tell you it was opposite day but that seems like something a 7-year-old pulls out of the trunk of grade school sayings… so I’ll just say my glass is half full until the cat came along and tipped the dagnabbed thing over!  I mentioned in an earlier post this year that I was trying to do something at least once a week that made me happy… and smiley and such…. blah, blah, blah, blahblahblahblah!  This week’s happiness included a jaunt up the road to talented lady and her homemade owls!  One of Madre’s sweet friends (what up, Shauna) tipped her off to the land of owly things.

My back history with owls is rocky at best.  A few years back I had a freaky baby owl somehow fall down into my window well where he intended on staying and freaking me the heck out with his big-mongous nonblinking eyeballs staring at me like a crazy dude at a Star Wars convention.  I screamed every time I saw the sucker… do not tell me you wouldn’t if you saw this thing staring at you every time you tried to go to bed:

ACK!!!!  Even to this day I get the shivers when I see this picture!!!!!!  See his feathers all standing up around his head… that means he hates me and if there weren’t a pane of glass separating us he’d go all bat crap crazy on my hairdo!  Needless to say, I wasn’t a big fan of owls after that incident.  I wish I could find the video I took when I first discovered the owl… it was dagnabbed hilarious… me screaming like a pansy at a daffodil convention!   Fast forward a few years to last year when the big owl craze came out… owl fabric… owl stuffed animals… owls, owls, owls.  But these owls are adorbs and have no intention of harming my hairdo… so I’m kind of going through an owl obsession right now.  Lindsay and Madre have the same owly obsession going strong… I think they rubbed off on me.

What was I saying?  Oh yes… we went to this lady’s house who makes the most adorable owl stuffed decorations… and we bought us some because we’re cool like that…

Madre bought the set of 3 Valentiney owls and the cute missionary owl in the front.  I bought the apple owl and the thing behind it is a cool invention to put a hot curling iron/flat iron when you’re traveling and need to put it in your suitcase!  Brilliance!

The other thing that made me happy was the discovery of my new favorite body wash… it’s like bathing in a vat of chocolate… except more sanitary and less calories.

Molten Chocolate body wash from SoftSoap!!!!!!  My skin is sensitive and I usually break out into hives with most body wash brands… except for SoftSoap… so, thank you, SoftSoap for making my dream flavor.  It’s taken everything I have not to just open up the frimm frammed bottle and chug it down in the shower.  Pretty sure that would not be a wise idea… but I’ll let you know when I find out!  😛

Question of the Day:  What made you happy last week? 

Oooo… PS… After mentioning that we hadn’t had much snow in Friday’s post, we got us some on Saturday… heavy and wet and slushy snow… but snow nonetheless.  This was the result down the road in Bountiful, Utah… over confident drivers trying to get down a slushy hilly road… bwahahahahaha… it’s like bumper cars, ice skating style!!!  Sister Lindsay and BIL, Shayne had driven down this same exact road on Saturday morning and they had to go 5 mph to get down safely.  Side note:  None of the idiots in this video were injured… just their pride, their cars, and every other car that happened to be parked along the side of the road.

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Filed under Chocolate, Little Things

Navigating A Holy-Day…

Y’all… it’s Easter weekend and whether you celebrate the holiday for the religious purpose or the freaktastically huge-mongous walking on hind legs full grown man dressed as a bunny purpose, there will be food.  Food,  more food, candy, more candy, chocolate… excuse you… leave chocolate out of this… it is a perfectly acceptable member of the sane people food group!  I will be eating candy this weekend.  There are no ifs, ands, or buts about it.  I’m not going to tell myself I’m not because that type of restriction talk brings on the inevitable stubbornitis… and stubbornitis basically is a disease where because I want to rebel against the YOU CAN’T HAVE THIS mantra, I immediately eat the whole witch’s house from Hansel and Gretel topped with the entire factory from Charlie Sheen and the Chocolate Factory.  So, I’ll allow myself Easter candy… and still lose weight in the process.

Easter as a kid included Easter egg hunts…  I was the kid who never got any eggs because I was too nice to fight for them… pretty sure that was before I had discovered the mindnumbingly hallucinogenic powers of the cocoa bean.  I was content sitting back watching everyone else fill up their basket while mine remained empty… I was polite and shy and well mannered and always looking out for the younger kids… and in the process I got walked all over!  No more… this year I aim to get what I want… even if I have to pull some hair and elbow some guts in the process (and that’s just in the 8 and under group)!  What do I want this year?  A life… and I’ll be fighting for that until the freaktastically huge-mongous overgrown man in a bunny costume realizes he looks ridiculous and gets a job dressing as a college basketball mascot.  Somewhere between those childhood Easter egg hunts where I spent most of the day feeling sorry for myself with an empty basket and today, I found that bit of fire I’d been missing.  That go get it, fill-up-my-basket attitude… or maybe it was there all along hiding amongst the deviled eggs and glazed hams of the holy-day.  GO GET YOURS!! 

“Everything you want should be yours: the type of work you want; the relationships you need; the social, mental, and aesthetic stimulation that will make you happy and fulfilled; the money you require for the lifestyle that is appropriate to you; and any requirement that you may (or may not) have for achievement or service to others. If you don’t aim for it all, you’ll never get it all. To aim for it requires that you know what you want”
~ Richard Koch 

Question of the Day:  What do you want most in life right now?

Note:  Have a great holy-day weekend friends!  Enjoy yourselves and report back on Monday.  Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do in prison.   

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That Ain’t Chocolate!!!!

It is Friday and I know that you are all anticipating my post so you can make up your Saturday grocery lists!  What’s that you say, my head won’t fit through the door?  Inflation these days.  For we calorizing folks, I’ve taken on quite the burden… I try new calorizing foods so you don’t have to.  You can thank me later… I accept checks, Visa, Mastercard, and money orders.  Pats on the back are not acceptable!

My new food this week was VitaTops Vitamuffin Vitalicious Vita… who knows what they’re called… let’s just all agree that they are little brown discs with chocolate chips pressed into the top.  These are also vitasucktastic… I mean… let’s call a brown disc a brown disc here, but I mean that in only the nicest way possible.  All that vita-thesearethebestthingsintheworld writing on the box probably got to my head. 

First of all… let’s face it… I am a chocolate connoisseur… I’ve eaten enough chocolate in my 32 years to put the cocoa bean companies head honcho’s children and their children’s children through college at Harvard.  I’ve also squandered a small fortune (LOL!!!) adding chocolate fat to my thighs.  I know me some chocolate… newsflashthis ain’t chocolate!!   It looks like chocolate… it kind of tastes like chocolate… but it ain’t chocolate.  Just trust me on this.  The duck ain’t quacking!  I guess I might be being overly dramatic… these are fine if you’re looking for something for 100 calories that sort of resembles a brown disc, but I’d much rather go for the real thing and eat a bit less of it.  Vitacrap… I give you 3 stars out of 10!  Never, EVER masquerade as chocolate around my house, suckers!

Question of the Day:  Has anyone tried these?  There are different flavors… are any of those good?

Have a fabulous weekend, y’all!  See you all again on Mondee… thanks for reading! 

 

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Filed under Chocolate, Food

Mindless Eating… My Brain Is BROKEN!!

Literally… my brain is broken.  You know those days when you feel like your head is attached to your neck by a piece of string?  No?  Just me… okay, then.  Like the only purpose your brain is serving is to keep your skull from caving in?  No again?  Moving on. 

I went grocery shopping today.  Yay me.  Except, I went without a list and ended up buying totally random things that I’m sure to never use in my lifetime…  hi chip clips that will stay in the package stuffed in the back of the junk drawer until I’m forced to throw them out when the junk drawer will no longer close… (what did I tell you about my absent brain… I just typed “drunk” drawer 2 times in a row)!   I also bought junk.  Mind you… I am not restricting myself on this diet.. errr… I mean, lifestyle change… heck no.  If I want to eat something, I’m going to allow myself to have a serving of it… So, junk for me, is not a no-no!  What is a no-no, though, is buying said junk and eating the whole package in the space of a day.   Brainlessness!

What I usually do is as soon as I get home from the store with my “treats,” I’ll separate them into single serving baggies using these greatest invention in the world snack baggies:

Right on, Whitney… there’s the ole brain!  When I have them in individual snack baggies, I’m much more likely to stick to eating just one serving… instead of the BFG’s (Big Friendly Giant) serving size of half the bag.   Today, though, I walked through the blasted Easter candy aisle at the store… chocolate.  I can eat chocolate… it is one of my favorite food groups… right up there with bread!  My first mistake was not using my tried and true method of the snack baggies.

But these things… Just look at them… LOOK at them!  All, colorful, and crunchy, and milk chocolatey, and did I mention freaktastically delicious!?  So, I didn’t separate them into separate baggies and before I knew it I had eaten half the bag… just one more… just one more turned into 8000 more and now the rest of the bag is sitting over on my desk calling my name… “Whitney… EAT US!  We’re milk chocolatey goodness and freaktastically delicious!”  And do you know how my dagnabbed worthless brain is answering?  “I’ll be right over fellas!”  So, I’m typing… distracting myself until the desire passes…  I already feel like this:

Harley, my sister’s 20-pound wonder cat… I wonder how many Cadbury Mini Eggs he ate today? 

Tomorrow I’ll use my brain for more than keeping my skull from caving in… I’ll also probably take out stock in them handy dandy ZipLock Snack Bag things.  My brain will thank me later. 

Question of the Day:  What is your favorite “mindless eating” food (aka:  brainless food)? 

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