Category Archives: Diet

Extremes…

You know how when you have 8000000000 things to do, including 800000000 things of homework, but instead you sit in front of the computer staring at cute animal pictures for 3 hours and get nothing done!?  Welcome to my world… but darnit if that cat riding the donkey weren’t cute!

I’m in the midst of participating in the DietBet extravaganza, where I put money into a pot with a bunch of other participants and then work to lose 4% of my body weight in a month!  What was I thinking!?  Actually, I have to say… if you’re a cheap wad like I am, this is the best kind of motivation.  Ain’t no way I’m gonna be losing 50 precious bucks to some stranger in Maryland, so darn tootin’ I’m going to be sticking to that eating/exercise plan like Bieber Fever fans in front of the courthouse.  I will always refuse to call it a “die”t because those don’t work.  It’s calorizing… less calories in… more calories burned with exercise.  End of story.

I’ve been impressed at my willpower the last 2 weeks… it’s been as strong as a…. uhhhh… thing that is strong.  I’m having trouble stringing thoughts together in this brain of mine tonight… so pretend like I’m being all eloquent and queenly and such when in reality Beavis wrote this here post.  It pays to be frugal!

In the meantime, this is old news since it happened on Tuesday of this past week and in this day and age something’s old news before someone famous gets arrested.  Did anyone watch The Biggest Loser finale?  I have to admit I didn’t watch this season.  I watched the first episode and then I watched the finale because it’s always fun to see what the contestants look like after weight loss.  This particular season finale has been wrought with controversy!  The winner, Rachel, lost 60% of her body weight in just a few short months’ time.  She went from one extreme, overweight to the other extreme, underweight.

This was Bob and Jillian’s (2 of the 3 trainers) reactions when she first came out.

She admitted that all she did from the time she got home from the ranch until the day of the finale was do cardio exercise 24/7.  I guess no one can blame her, though.  The premise of this show is jacked up.  Some competetive people will go to all sorts of extremes to win a quarter of a million dollars when it’s dangled in front of them.  I can’t imagine, since her weight loss happened over the course of a few months, that it was in any way healthy weight loss, but she has her a quarter of a million dollars now… so that’s all that matters… right?

It’s kind of like they trade one addiction (food) for another (extreme exercise).  I wish her the best.  She seems like a sweet girl and I hope she has many years of happy in her new body.

Question of the Day:  Did anyone watch the Biggest Loser finale?  Thoughts?  

PS – If you are reading this, my friend, Audrey… I just wanted you to know that I am sending you thoughts and prayers and hugs during this difficult time.  I’m sorry for your loss and hope you will be surrounded by those you love.  Take care, sweet lady.

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10 Ridiculous Things “DIE”ter’s Say…

I read this article sometime before Thanksgiving whilst trying to find some fresh ammunition to get my butt back into the groove of eating less craptastically.  It hasn’t worked yet, but I aim to drill it into my noggin with my trusty Black and Decker drill bit.  Anyone ever tried drill therapy?  Drill a hole through your tongue and you’ll never want to eat again?

The article contained 10 Ridiculous Things “Die”ters Say… and since I’m never in my lifetime ever going on another “die”t even with a drilled hole in my tongue, I changed it to 10 Ridiculous Things Calorizers Say… there… psyche quelled.  My plan in this post is to list each individual item in bold, and then make snarktastic comments to the side of them.  You are welcome.

1- “If I exercise enough I can eat what I want.”  I’ve learned that this weight loss thing is approximately 90% what and how much you eat and 10% exercise.  If you’re eating fast food 3 times a day and exercising 30 minutes a day… you’re going to gain weight.  Exercise is beneficial for a healthy body/heart/mind, all that good stuff, but it doesn’t do a thing if you’re not throwing in the eating properly thing too.

2- “I don’t drink soda. Only juice, tea, and lemonade.”   I’m adding “all things in moderation” to this here point.  Lighten up, Fitbie… geez!  Drinking anything aside from water is going to be empty calories and those empty calories can add up fast… so by the end of the day you’re left wanting to chew something.  I’ve never been into shakes and smoothies and the like for that very reason.  I don’t feel like I’ve eaten anything unless I’m chewing.

3 – “I avoid potatoes because they’re fattening.”  SACRILEGE!!!!  I’m from Idaho… take that back!  I don’t care if 10 years down the road they discover potatoes cause zits and oily pores… I’m a gonna be baking and eating and mashing my taters until they throw me 6-feet down.   The only fattening potato is the french-fried one and/or the one you put 10 pounds of butter and a container of Sour Cream on… and come on… that had to be obvious.

4 – “I never eat after 7 PM.”  THANK YOU!!  I always got frustrated with the nutritionist/dieticians who told me I needed to close my mouth and my kitchen after 6:30.  I can’t work like that because when someone tells me I can’t do something, I’m going to be obsessing over it until I do it anyway.  All things in moderation… chillax!

5 – “I eat the organic chips, which are healthier.”  ALL THINGS IN MODERATION!  Again, grow some frijoles, Fitbie!  (yes I’m aware that I just told them to grow some beans).   Of course organic does not automatically mean healthy… it just means they grew the stuff in cow doo instead of with chemicals and pesticides and stuff.  Somehow the cow doo sounds less appetizing, but I’ll take your word for it, people of the Earth.

6 – “I already blew my diet and ate a piece of cake. Might as well eat the rest of it.”  Oh boy… they must have heard me talking like pretty much every day the last few weeks.  My favorite is… I’ll start again tomorrow… which inevitably has turned into 3 months later and I’m about to say it again.  Disgrosting behavior, Whitnit!

7 – “No water for me today—I don’t want to look bloated at the party tonight.”  I have never in my lifetime ever uttered such ridiculousness.  PUH-LEASE, Twiggy and Mary Kate Olsen!  Firstly, I never go to parties… and secondly, water is the nectar of the smart people!

8 – “I can’t eat eggs, they’re bad for me!”
  Oh, shoot me now… I eat eggs several times a week… it’s one of my main sources of protein.  Most times it’s the egg white/egg beater form, but I do regularly eat whole eggs too.  Don’t offend the chickens… eat eggs!

9 – “If I eat breakfast, I’ll keep eating all day”  Durrrrrrrrrrrrrr… another one from Twiggy, I suppose.  Eat breakfast and be Merry for tomorrow you can eat it again.  Eating breakfast is a smart thing for your blood sugar and your metabolism.

10 – “I ate a triple hamburger and large shake today, but that never happens.”  And your point is?  ALL THINGS IN MODERATION!  I suppose if I were to use the all things in moderation mantra on this one, it wouldn’t be a triple burger but a single and the large shake would become a small… and it wouldn’t be a daily occurrence, but a once-in-a-while one.  Be smart about it… and LIGHTEN UP!!

Question of the Day:  Which of these phrases are you most famous for saying?  Which do you have mastered?  

This here is Marvin… he was a nice visitor and all until he attempted to eat my camera.  Nice try, Marvin!

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My Best Friend… Food…

I read an article the other night… brain cells be durned… something about some wellness coach to the stars.  Pretty usual stuff, but then this quote popped out of the drudge and stuck to me like a cellulite bar after an all-you-can-eat cake parade!

Learn to live with food. Figure out how to make food your friend. You can’t go through life without food or have an adversarial relationship with it. It’s deadly. If you make exercise your constant companion and food your best friend you never have to struggle.

This would be the point when I started talking to my computer screen… Excuse you, lady… food has been my best friend for too many years… that’s how I got to 530 pounds and a death wish!  

But wait a cotton-picking, dagblasted minute here…  All these years I thought food was my best friend… my comfort… my go-to mood lifter… but in all reality, did I misconstrue a friend for an enemy?

How many best friends make you feel miserable?   How many best friends give you diseases like diabetes and cardiac disease and inflammation of the fat flabs?  How many best friends make you feel lonely and vulnerable and sad and depressed and disgusting and peeved at the world?  If any of those things were attributed to your “best friend,” you’d kick that friend to the curb faster than Richard Simmons puts out an exer-saucing video… said Maury Povich’s chair.

I need a new best friend.

Or at least a better relationship with my old “best friend.”

My method of making food my best friend turned into making it my numero uno enemy… and that needs to be turned around… and stat!  Food is fuel… period… end of story.  We all need food to survive… it’s all about finding that happy place… the place where you use food to feel your optimal best… not because of sadness or anger.   Even 200+ pounds later I don’t think I’ve hit that mecca.  Too often I go back to the food as my numero uno worst enemy.  I just need to realize that this will be my constant battle… lifelong… finding coping mechanisms and changing my attitude and view on my “best friend” is a must for survival and continued weight loss/maintenance.  Or my name isn’t Richard Simmon’s fanny pack!

Question of the Day:  How do you view food?  Your best friend or worst enemy? 

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Focusing On Change…

You know how when you have some sort of lifestyle change… you get a new job, you move towns, you have a kid, you go to prison for embezzling corn nuts, etc., etc., etc.  So, your lifestyle changes and the previous lifestyle you had so carefully crafted kind of goes out the window because of the change of focus… getting accustomed to the new.  I’m feeling a bit of that right now… on a very small scale… adding 2 classes to my schedule has changed my focus, which is ridiculous because I’m all about balance and a healthy balance includes a lifestyle of health.  Get my drift, Prison Patricia?  I need to be more conscious of my eating and my intensity whilst exercising.  I refuse to get out of the habit just because there are now other things I could be doing to fill that set aside health-butt-kicking time.  It’s not impossible, it just takes some thought, a pinch of effort, and every once in a while a good ole fashioned swift kick to the nether regions.  Consider this my good swift kick to the nether regions.

I pinned this article on Pinterest a few weeks back… intent that I’d come back and read it when I got 12 seconds… tonight at 4:30 in the morning I found that 12 seconds… so much for that early to bed crapola I went spouting on about.  The article was titled 15 Signs Your Diet Will Fail… and even though I despise the word “die”t with every ounce of my fat flabs, I read it anyway.  Some good stuff in there.  Stuff I wholeheartedly agree with and stuff I want to agree with but am too lazy to want to put into action.  Though, I have to say when I’m firing on all 5 billion cylinders, I do follow most of this advice.  A quick rundown:

1.  Your plan promotes rapid weight loss.   Take that and shove it Biggest Loser!  Rapid weight loss means eventual rapid weight gain somewhere down the road.  I don’t know about you all, but I want this as a lifetime thing… not having to redo it every 4 years.

2.  You don’t exercise.  Um… DUH!  Did you also know that they call an orange an orange?  My goal for this one.  UP THE INTENSITY…  I can no longer get away with doing the same intensity as I could 235 pounds ago to lose weight.  I’m more in shape now… and the same walking pace is not going to cut it.  And PLEASE for all that’s holy and right with the Solar System… do your dagnabbed weightlifting routine on a regular basis, Whitney… for serious!

3.  You do cardio without strength training.  My biggest, biggest, biggest issue on the exercise front… biggest!  Someone come over here with a ball bat and smack me upside the noggin until I get to hopping regularly.  Who cares if you think it’s boring… shut up and do it!

4.  You cut out an entire food group.   THANK YOU!!  I’ve harped on this from the beginning.  I’ve never believed in cutting out a group of delectables.  The no carb diets don’t work long term… sorry to burst the bubble… it’s reality, folks.

5.  Your diet requires you to buy premade meals.  That’s why I cringe at Jenny Craig and Nutrisystem, etc.  Real food tastes better… real food is better for you… and you need to learn how to make real food.  What are you going to do, buy a 60-year supply of Jenny Craig food just to make sure you keep the weight off?  NEGATIVE!

6.  You skimp on shut eye.  Note taken.  I’ve been a nonsleeper at night since the age of 11.  It’s a hard thing to get out of.  I do think I’d be better off if I could get more sleep… and less likely to graze the household at night.  I’ll eat a piece of furniture if I’m hungry enough.

7.  You don’t pack your lunch.  Common sense.  Preparing ahead of time will totes thwart that I’m so hungry I could eat the fake meat they serve in the McDonald’s Big Mac spiel.

8.  You don’t read nutrition labels.  Yep!  These days nothing goes into the cart without looking at that thing.  I’m always comparing calories and fat and sodium levels.  I’m a total geek, but all the cool kids are doing it.  Ask Urkel!

9.  Your diet is too regimented.  You know those people who say that they will never touch sugar and they will never touch any food that hasn’t been blessed by the organic nymphs of lettuce land?  The ones you want to club in the head with a Twinkie?  Live a little… every once in a while… good grief, Charlie Brown!

10. You skip meals.  I used to do this… I’d eat one huge meal at night and barely anything earlier in the day.  STUPID idea.  There’s a reason keeping your blood sugars level throughout the day is a good idea.  And it totally helps with wanting to binge because you’re so hungry you ate the cat.  I notice when I plan to eat 5 or 6 times a day, I’m so much better off than the times I eat 2 or 3 times.

11.  You over-snack.  I make my day into mini meals rather than big meals and snacks.  That way I’m eating all day… but I always have those days where I graze and eat my mini meals… and that’s about as smart as installing a telephone wire whilst standing in water.

12.  You don’t eat enough protein.  I used to struggle with this at the beginning of vegetarianism.  I’m quite good at it now.  I’ve read up on the best way to get in protein without eating meat whilst having it be a complete protein.  I’m now always over my protein goal.

13.  You go low-fat.  I struggle with this.  I buy low fat because low fat means lower calories which means Whitney gets a bigger serving.  But when they take out the fat, they have to add something to it to compensate… and that’s usually sodium or sugar.  Plus, the body needs some fat.

14.  You refuse to try new foods.  I’ve gotten A LOT better about this over the last 3 years.  Vegetarianism really jump started the new foods thing.  I still have quite a ways to go to get out of the picky eater department, but I’ve grown leaps and bounds.  That’s a pat on the back!

15.  You don’t keep track of what you eat.  PUT A STAMP ON THAT SUCKER AND NAME IT FREDRICK!!  Saying that you can guesstimate in your head what you eat never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever works.  EVER!  The days I don’t use myfitnesspal to track my food are the days I’m wayyyyyy over in calories.  I need to be more regimented in tracking my weekend eating as well.  I don’t… and that is one of my main problems right now.

Pretty smart stuff right there, right?  Y’all… Whitney is inspired to sit down, shut up, and get back on a better regimen.  Two weeks of class taking is enough getting-used-to time!

Question of the Day:  Of the above-mentioned list, which one is your hardest to overcome?  

T

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You’re Gonna Win Or You’re Gonna Lose…

… Either way the sun will still come up tomorrow morning.  And so it goes.  Day one of Mindful Eating SuCkEd!  (No, I’m not 12… why do you ask?)   Firstly, how does one forget to be mindful when you just remembered 30 seconds before that you needed to be mindful?  Secondly, how do I get all the things done I need to get done if I don’t multitask whilst I eat?  Thirdly, ADD alert!  I was supposed to be concentrating on my food, but instead my mind wandered to Britney Spears landing a 15 million-dollar deal to judge a SINGING competition… SINGING!!!!!  Do we see the irony in that there word?  And then because I was thinking about singing, I obviously had to have an annoying tune run through my cranium holder.  This one was that stupid song by LMFAO, Party Rockin’ in the house tonight…  Then, I got to thinking about how one party rocks?  Like, is it a party with rocks as guests?  And then I got to thinking about the formation of rocks and how I was watching 20/20 Friday night and some chic actually enjoyed eating rocks.  She’d go shopping for rocks in the road, bring them home, smash them with a hammer, and store them in an empty medication bottle for easy snacking ability.  And then I got to thinking about her teeth and how they must be totally whittled down to the roots… and then I got to thinking about how I still haven’t had a crown put on my root canaled tooth from nearly 2 years ago and how I should probably go get it done before I end up looking like the cast of The Beverly Hillbillies.  By that time my food was gone and I was wondering what I just ate.

Y’all… in case you hadn’t discovered this by now, I’m a mental case!

Moving on to day 2… mindful, Whitney… mindful!

Meanwhile… new favorite sandwich alert… and I ain’t just saying it to say it.  This one is a post-prison Martha Stewart specialty I found through Pinterest.  By the by… I apologize to anyone who has to follow me on Pinterest… I had a Pinterest account for quite a while but never used it, but I just discovered the joy of hoarding recipes on Pinterest last week and now I look like a pig in a parka pinning recipes to try!  Back to the sandwich… Cheddar Sandwiches with Quick Pickles and Honey-Mustard Spread… it sounds like a boringly normal sandwich, but something about all the ingredients coming together make this thing one of the tastiest sandwiches I’ve had in a while.  Honey mixed with grainy mustard spread on a whole wheat roll, a piece of sharp cheddar on top of that, and then lavish it with the homemade mustardy pickles and onions.  And the pickles… low sodium since I used my salt substitute instead of real salt.  I want some right now… but I’ll mindfully shut up and just go to bed instead!  Good plans, Whitney!

Martha’s roll is obviously a lot bigger than mine, I picked a small 100-calorie mini wheat hoagie roll and ate it open-faced because then it was like eating 2 sandwiches instead of one, but for 1 sandwich calories!  The recipe for anyone interested:  Cheddar Sandwiches with Quick Pickles and Honey-Mustard Spread.  Note to future Whitney… you don’t need as much dried ginger as fresh ginger… just… trust me!  LOL… I just looked at the one review of the recipe at that link… ironically the dude hated the sandwich.  You can’t please everyone said Martha from prison!

Question of the Day:   What’s your favorite sandwich?  

 

 

 

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The Weight of the Nation…

HBO… maker of raunchy movies and TV shows… has actually come out on the other side of the raunch for a few moments to enlighten and give us a 4-part documentary called The Weight of the Nation.  If you click on that there title, it will take you to their site where you can watch clips, see facts, and if you’re feeling up to it you can also watch the entire documentary for free (I’m not sure how long the sucker is but part 1 is 68 minutes long and there are 4 parts).  I am currently making my way through the documentary a little at a time so I can take time to absorb the info into my hair follicles.  The Weight of the Nation is basically a documentary about how we as a nation got fat, the effect it has on us, and what we need to do to turn it around.

I’m using this as my kickstart to get things moving in the right direction again… it’s an epidemic this massive nationwide weight issue.  For example… did you know that:

That would be 2/3 of our population.  There are many things to blame, but the biggest and baddest culprits are high calories and sedentary lifestyles… oh, and Krispy Kreme Donuts.  Just saying.  I found the following clip interesting.  To sum it up, basically if you have 2 people… same age, same weight, and one of those people has lost weight to get to her current weight and the other has not, the person who has lost weight will need to eat 20% fewer calories to maintain the same weight as the person who has never had to lose weight.  Depressing?  HECK YES, Bertha.  But, it’s a fact I’ll have to live with.

I’ll probably blog more about subjects as they come up in my slow watch of this series.  Just thought I’d bring it to the attention of any of my health conscious friends who may or may not be interested.  Onward and upward, Nation!!  Krispy Kreme is having a sale!

Question of the Day:  Had you heard about this documentary?  Thoughts on the documentary?  Or on Krispy Kreme?  😛

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The Fat Lady Ain’t Sung Yet…

I’ve been asked by a hand full of MFP folks to discuss the difference between an atom and a molecule (coughcoughNOBODYCAREScoughcough) how I keep from backsliding on this weight loss journey.  The answer is fairly simple… take notes… paper and pen ready?  I DON’T!  I don’t keep from backsliding because I do backslide.  I can count on less than 2 hands how many pounds I’ve lost since January of this year.  It’s a slooooooooowwwww and arduous process this weight thing of late.  The difference between the newer Whitney and the old Whitney is that the new Whitney knows what this is… it’s my life.  This ain’t no temporary diet where everything is restricted to the maximum and I only eat 800 calories a day and then barf up at least 400 of those.  This isn’t a temporary diet where all I eat is lettuce leaves and cut out all processed foods and never eat anything with more than 2 grams of fat and life as I know it is over the moment a piece of chocolate crosses my lips.  It’s my life… and my life needs to be lived and enjoyed and there needs to be joy and hard work and fun.   Period… end of story.

If I had heard someone say this to me before the life thing “clicked” with me would I have done things differently… would I have gotten to this frame of mind sooner?  Doubtful.  I think it’s a process that is individual to each person and one day that little switch in the ole brainium is going to flicker on and you’ll be all like… Ohhhhhhh… is that how I need to do it!?  And then the heavens will open up and Kenny Loggins will sing Teddy Bear Corner whilst the angels do a jig in the background.  Oops… my bad… that was my weird dream from 3 nights ago.

I don’t think it’s realistic to say you will start your lifestyle change by cutting out everything you love… no fried foods, no sugar, no carbs, no joy.  It’s not  realistic.  To go from one end of the spectrum, eating fast food every day 3 times a day, to the other end of the spectrum, eating organically-grown turnip roots watered by the sparkling fountain of Athena, is about as probable as saying you’ll go to bed one day weighing 500 pounds and wake up the next morning having scored the gig of the newest twig-thin fashion model in NYC.  It’s just stupid!

Baby steps.

Forever and ever and ever… baby steps.

How about tackling one healthier goal per week or month.  Instead of saying I won’t… how about you say I will.  For example… make a vow that you will eat at least one vegetable a day for a week.  Sure, it’s not the recommended 3 to 5 fruits and veggies a day… but when your weekly vegetables included the lettuce they put on the Big Mac… that’s a huge step.  The next week you can add in another healthy goal… and another and another… until you find that you actually like the way you feel when you’ve accomplished those little things.

Secondly… sit back… shut up… and realize this thing is going to take some time.  The time is going to pass anyway… put it to good use slowly changing your brainium holder… the way you think is by far and away the hugest hurdle to cross.  Realize that there will be frustrations and backslides and times where you don’t lose a pound for months and months and months… but you keep going because this is your life and you can’t quit your life.  There is no such thing as failing at a lifestyle change.  Because you’ve changed… you may backslide on occasions or go back to the previous way of thinking… but that’s a temporary stint on your road because you have so much more to accomplish before you hit that ultimate goal of being at peace with yourself.  Because, really… the ultimate goal for any of us trying to lose weight is not the number on the scale… it’s about being comfortable in our skin… and there’s never a time limit for that.  Head up… feet moving… you got this.

Question of the Day:  What’s the one “healthy” goal you are going to make for yourself this week?  

 

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