Category Archives: Family

In The Delusional Part Of My Brain, I’m Only 25!

It’s that time of year when I pretend I’m 25 for the 13th straight year in a row! I can’t say 25 was a great year for me… but it sure as heck sounds a lot better than 38! By the by family, if you age me by rounding that up to 40 one more time, I’m filing a petition to be adopted by another family… perhaps one who rounds the number down to 25 at all times! Hear!?

The number thing aside, this “birthday week” was full of all things Octoberish… because I do enjoy me a grand ole October day… and since there are 31 of those days, I best take advantage of every last one. Note to my 2 readers, there are only 7 days left… get outside!

On Wednesday on my day off from work, I headed down Salt Lake City way so that Lindsay and BoBo could come to the Wheeler Historic Farm. On the way Auntie Whitty and Baby BoBo snacked on peanut butter crackers from Trader Joe’s and learned our vowels… you go Baby BoBo (you’ll have to excuse my off tuneness… I only sing properly for an audience older than 1)!

At the farm, Baby BoBo got to drive a tractor and ride on a wagon ride and pet some animals and get acosted by 12,000 geese and 20,000,0000,00000000 ducks… and Auntie Whitty stepped in 12 gallons of goose doo, so there was that.

I took this picture right before BoBo fell off this bench onto his head… so there was that sad party… and pretty much scores me Aunt of the year!

Then, yesterday the fam all came up to go to the annual North Logan Pumpkin Walk… kudos Pumpkin Walk peoples! Y’all rock it every year!

BoBo got to stare at a scary witch, who really was a very friendly singing witch, but he couldn’t take his eyes off of her…

Step away from my broom! The next picture cracks my stuff up! Big bro Christian brought a friend along. Matt found a walking stick on the way to the line up and was using that, so BoBo wanted to have his own walking stick… Oh BoBo, you hilarious!

Today, we went to visit some animals around town and then had pasketti dinner with Ryan, Angie, Makayla, and Corbin…


Oh heys everyone… here I is in some leaves…

To round off the day, Makayla and Corbin surprised me by giving me this beautiful wall hanging they colored… thank you, sweet lil ones!

All in all, this girl got spoiled… and I also broke my 5-1/2-month sugar-free streak by partaking in sugar. Oh laws, the flood gates are now opened. Aiming for once or twice a week on the sugar front… period… end of story!

Thank you to all of the friends and family for the gifts, the visits, the messages, the FB posts, etc. Y’all are the best!

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Just Call Me Spontaneity… Bwahahaha…

Hello… remember me from 7 years ago? The stick in the mud chick? The one who people feel the need to whap upside the head with a bag of 60-day-old bagels on account of the fact that she’s unmoving in her psycho scheduled ways? Yeah… that’s right… it’s me! Hello! Except now my psycho scheduled ways which should include cool stuff like sleeping more than 30 minutes and exercising and doing homework at a decent hour, etc., etc., etc., also includes serving invisible burgers and fries to a snake and a googly-eyed giraffe for 0 cents an hour on a 3×5 phone screen. SOMEONE… STEP UP TO THE PLATE with that bag of stale bagels, yo! For everyone’s sanity… I beg of you!

In less overly dramatic news… Friday night I went to bed with plans to wake up on Saturday, menu plan, grocery shop, hit the farmer’s market, take some fallish pictures, and sit down to read my 900 pages of literature reading for the week. You know, the usual… Instead I woke up, bought last minute tickets to Maroon 5 in Salt Lake City, and became the queen of spontaneity! Bwahahahaha… I can’t say that with a straight face. Believe you me… the stick was still wedged up there pretty tight. Only once in a blue moon. You see, my sweet Madre has her a crush on Adam Levine… and her bucket list was lacking seeing him live and in person, so we remedied that! I rarely say no to a concert… unless it’s the 20-year reunion of Barney The Purple Dinosaur and Friends… cannot take the cheese! We had pretty great seats… I mean… this is how close!

Madre got her fangirl on… she’s like be still my beating heart… and I didn’t get thrown up on or beered once! It was a miracle! I forgot how many hit songs they had… I knew pretty much everything they sang.


“Sugar”


“Moves Like Jagger”

Thanks Adam Levine for the lesson in spontaneity! Let’s do it again… but next time with at least 3 weeks notice! 😛

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On the way we got to stop off and visit my Baby BoBo… hims was so excited to see my owly phone… me, not so much! We dropped by Gardner Village to see the witches…


BoBo’s like… Auntie Whitty Woo… look at all your new warts!


BoBo did not like this horsie… so big bro, Ethan got on and rode with him!


Hey everyone… giddy up! I a cowboy!


BoBo is also corn fed… here he is shucking his own kernels.

To update on my sugar-freeness… still sugar-free… 5 months this week. Still substituting with salty things and Diet Dr. Pepper. I’ve decided wiring my mouth shut might not be such a bad thing.

Have a fabulous Monday, friends!

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Cliche`s…

I got a note from my literature professor after the last paper I handed in that told me I oversaturated my paper with cliche`s! I was all like, well, you can lead a cow to the barn door, but you can’t make him sit on a chicken! That’s right… take that and smoke it. After I read that critique I spent the next two hours in my head space trying to think of all the cliche`s I could to use in my next paper. I’m raring to go… as the saying goes one person’s meat is another person’s poison, so absence does really make the heart grow fonder when a rose by any other name would smell just as sweet.

Help a gal out… leave me your favorite cliche`s in the comments! I have until December to use them all up!

Oh boy… they don’t know what they signed up for when they made my brain space! I tell you right now y’all!

We celebrated this boy’s birthday last night… albeit 2 weeks late! Corbin is 9… say it ain’t so!

This picture must sum up sibling rivalry at its finest!

Happy birfday, Dude! Next year you’ll be double digits… I wouldn’t recommend it!

BoBo’s like… hey errybody… look at me doing jazzy hands!

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Double X Treatment…

Busy weekend wherein I was supposed to squeeze in a gallon and a half of homework but ended up squeezing in approximately zero give a craps. That a girl, Whitney! You show them who’s boss down there at the due date office!

Instead I got to babysit my BoBo pal on Friday evening and all day Saturday while Lindsay and my mom attended a shindig. BoBo and I went on a walk to see some horsies, but it was so boring he fell asleep 12 times on the way there. We also went to a park to swing on some swings and pretend drive a wooden boat, BoBo was so over the playground. He was like, you seen one playground, you seen them all… let’s go to the bar! Oh baby… maybe when you’re two we’ll hit up the only bar here in town, “The White Owl”. Something to look forward to!


BoBo waving bye bye to the playground. Let’s jet, Auntie Whitty Woo!

BoBo got to eat his first creamie… 4 months of being sugar-free meant Auntie Whitty was mostly really jealous!

I gave him a pet kitty who will let BoBo give him kisses on account of the fact that he’s stuffed in a coma… slobbery kitty kisses for the win…

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Sunday afternoon we headed down to Salt Lake City to “meet the seats” in the new Eccles Theater. Madre bought season tickets for the first time in her life because she wants the opportunity to have the much sought after “Hamilton” tickets when it comes to town next year. Lindsay made us a deliciousfull dinner before (thank you, Poodle Head)! We brought royalty with us (what up, Karen) so we were pretty danged prestigious… except with Madre’s seats in row double X we were more like the peasants who scraped the cow manure off the royalty’s gold-plated shoes. Everyone there knew Karen because she’s the “ticket lady” Next time, Karen… tell them to bring in tastified sugar-free version of those lemon cookies. It’s the least they could do for royalty!


Those are royalty’s seats… Madre’s are further back… in double X!


15th anniversary of 09/11. I still remember that day back in 2001, hearing about the havoc when my radio alarm clock rang for me to get up to go to school. It was surreal then, and it’s still surreal to even think about. May God Bless America… we’re gonna need it, especially after this election!

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BoBo Es El Numero UNO…

Coherent is not in my vocabulary this morning, so we’ll have to deal with incoherent without a bottle of no-doze! Guess who turned number one this past week!?!? No, the answer is not Whitney’s bottle of Worcestershire sauce. Baby BoBo! He’s pretty much geezering up the joint. Lindsay couldn’t pass up the opportunity to throw a shindig to remember! I mean, BoBo won’t remember it because he’s a baby… but I ate a dagnabbed 4 bites of burnt steak so I’m sure to remember this occasion FOREVER!!

BoBo’s job was to hold up his birthday sign in the yard. He lasted approximately 3 seconds and then we had to bring in the fishing line reinforcements.


There were games with famous people… Wolverine flew in to play darts… aka Big Bro Ethan with dart fingers.


Big Bro Christian got the enviable task of grilling the 3 kinds of meat… THREE!!!!! It was like a meat-a-ganza up in that joint! (PS – this stellar guy could still use your prayers… he didn’t get great diagnosis news… yet he still seems to be schooling us all in the art of how to live your life trusting the Lord’s plan. My money’s on him!)


This is obviously pre-party-goers, and yet again, the rotted deck did not fall through with all of the people on it! Blast the luck!


Lookit… my daddy made me this kitty cat cakes… I liked the ears and eyeballs the best!


But pretty soon, I went into a cake-eating coma!


Oh, did you want a piece too? Better luck next year!


The aftermath!


Happy Birfday, Baby BoBo the Magnificent! Don’t hurry to #2, please!

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Lost count of the days, but I’m still sugar-free… mostly because I don’t trust myself if I were to add it back in. I’ve learned over the years with me it’s all or nothing… addictive personalities for the lose! If anyone needs me I’ll be searching for an edible sugar-free cookie… I said EDIBLE!

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Honorary Redneck…

Hey y’all… I’m okay… I just swallowed a baby moth-like creature, but other than that I’m fixin’ to be pretty mediocre. Mediocrity is my gig… if it requires work to be exceptional, I’d rather live here in Mediocrity-ville. Ambition… it’s what’s for dinner.

In other news, this past weekend was our annual Kayla and Corbin sleepover shindig wherein we usually end up lamenting the downfall of our favorite miniature golf place… may she rest in peace. This year it also happened to land on the weekend of the Cache County Fair… or as I like to think of it, that one time a year where I meet all the people who wear dental floss as an actual outfit. As the kids say these days, they be on fleek, yo! Do the kids say that? I’m so out of the loop. Get back to me on that, kids who be fleeky!

The plan was to let them pick out 2 rickety carnival-like rides whilst Whitney and company counted the amount of booty shorts within a 3-mile radius. 852 is your answer. They picked the ferris wheel and this swing-like ride called the Yo Yo as the ones that looked the least scary. In other news, I picked the corn on the cob line as the one that looked the least scary.

After the Redneckville parade, there was a trip to McDonald’s and a Spy Kids movie marathon on Amazon Prime. The next morning there was a trip to the farmer’s market for some tomatoes, peaches, and corn on the cob, a miniature golf date wherein I discovered that I’m the next Tigress Woods if she played miniature golf mediocrely. Subway at the park for lunch followed… by the park I really mean the swamp. It seems that a sprinkler pipe burst or something and the entire lawn was submerged in 3 inches of water… there is nothing more pleasant than walking around for the rest of the day in squishy shoes and wet socks. GROSS!!! Madre kept saying that’s just how they water it, but I’m gonna say that’s a big no on a Saturday in the summer in a park where kids play!

Thanks for playing Makayla and Corbin… keep your hands and feet inside the crazy train at all times!

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Thank you for the prayers and well wishes for sweet Christian. He goes in today (Monday) to hopefully find out the results of the bone samples they took last week, so they’ll know which kind of leukemia it is. These boys are the coolest y’all!


BoBo’s like, hey big bros… let’s have a conversation!

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Let’s Be Cooler This Week…

This past week has been an interesting week for me. Interesting in that it has been as weird as anytime Kanye West opens his yapper. I would say it was a bad luck week, but I just started my positivity movement 5 minutes ago, and it would suck to already break my 4-1/2 minute positivity streak! YAY, WHITNEY!! Dang… back to 0… I just complained about my new neck pillow… it’s awkward y’all! Because my old one disintegrated in the washing machine this weekend after 2 years of regularly washing it once a week… and I’d just broken it in too! Let’s take a moment to mourn the neck pillow. Okay, moving on.

Summer semester also started this past Monday, after a 3-day break from spring semester ending… which made me all cranky, and now I’m pretty much on a strike because it’s taken me all dagnabbed week to read 30 pages in my sociology book, it’s Sunday night and I still have 7 pages left, the homework assignment and the quiz. Homework… let’s be cool and start doing you, okay!?

Classes for summer semester include a juvenile delinquency course for my sociology minor and a physics course dealing with the universe and cosmology, which is required and my guidance counselor has told me I needed to take it every semester now for the past 4 years and I’ve put it off, but now I only have like 3 semesters left (2 after summer) and I sorta can’t put it off any longer. I cried for like 5 days when the first assignment this week was an algebra quiz. Uhhhhh… the last time I did algebra was in high school, and I don’t mean to date myself, but that was longer than 10 years ago, but less than 100 years ago… you do the math! Math deals with numbers… why do I have 15 letters in these dang equations! I’ve been watching algebra tutorials all week long, and it’s like watching someone giving a lecture on molecular fusion… except more annoying. It would work better, if you’d tutorial the exact same problems I’m doing, YouTube geniuses! Let’s hope that Whitney’s brain develops a love for all things mathematics before the end of the semester… but let’s not hold our breaths!

Rounding out the weirdness, I spent 5 hours in the dentist’s chair and 1000 bucks… spent 700 bucks to get my Beulah the Buick car’s air conditioner fixed (after 4 years of not having an air conditioner), only to have it break again the next day. Yep… she’s going back into the shop on Tuesdee… and then I somehow threw out my back and couldn’t move or walk for 4 days… which was cool and all because it gave me an opportunity to start my new positivity movement, which I will have to start again after I finish writing this post… see how hard it is to be positive!? Well, I’ll be Aunt Bea!

Lookit… BoBo has moved on from grand theft autoing Beulah the Buick to sports cars… we always knew he had good taste in criminal activity.

He says… I so proud of myself!

Happy Birthday to my Dad (yesterday)… He turned 65 years young and doesn’t look a day over 64! I meant 40! Stop it! I’ve said this already in an FB post and a card, so I’m kind of like a really broken record, but the thing I most took away from my dad is hard work… he’s worked hard all of his life and taught my sister and I to do the same. He was also a great example of service. He’s done many services quietly and without being asked to friends and neighbors. Hope year 65 is a good one, Dad!

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