Category Archives: Family

Well Done, Faithful Servant…

This past week I attended a graveside memorial for a close family friend, LaVon Anthony. My folks met her in the 80s when I was but just a minion of a person. She lived in the trailer court a hop, skip, and a jump from my childhood home on the west side of Logan. As a young girl I remember her wit and straight talk. She never had kids and was married for only a few short months years before, so my sister and I kind of adopted her as a “fill-in” grandma. I have many fond memories of having dinners with her. We loved when she’d come over and we’d both shovel in the food in hopes that she’d stay around to play a game of “Hand and Foot” with us. She’d never let us win… that wasn’t LaVon… she was competitive no matter how many digits were in your age… but that’s why we loved her.

In the 90s after she’d returned from serving her 2nd church mission, she even lived with us for a while until she was able to secure an apartment behind the tabernacle in Logan… and then when they demolished those apartments years later to build a parking lot, she moved into Williamsburg Retirement Home where she lived out the rest of her days.

I could relate to her more as I aged. A single woman without kids trying to make it in a lonely world full of families. She’d often lament that no one would bother to attend her funeral so was adament she wouldn’t have one. She worried about money running out before she passed and was often wondering where that would leave her with no kids to take care of her.

My mom got the call 2 weeks ago Sunday that she was found in her apartment in Williamsburg slumped over the bathtub, dressed for the day, her bag packed waiting for a brother-in-law to pick her up to watch general conference. She’d had a stroke and was transferred from Logan Hospital to an Ogden Hospital and once stabilized transferred back to a skilled nursing facility in Logan to live out the remainder of her days. Mom and I went to visit her the evening she arrived at the facility, flowers in hand, not knowing what to expect. She was asleep when we arrived, so we gently woke her. Her eyes remained closed for our visit and I’m not sure if she knew who we were… her left side was paralyzed and the one word answers she was able to give seemed slurred and sometimes incoherent. It was not the LaVon I always joked around with, the LaVon who would come back with the wittiest reply even at 93 years old.

Mom turned to look at me and mouthed “she’s gone,” the person we knew and loved had moved on… her body was just here until it could pass into the next stage.

Through big fat tears rolling down my cheeks, I felt prompted to wish her safe travels and the happiest of reunions with her dear parents and siblings who had passed before her. I let her know I loved her and she was able to reply with a “love you.” We said our goodbyes… LaVon passed away the next night. I went to her graveside memorial on Wednesday, a 2-1/2-hour drive each way for a 30-minute service, I went because I told her I would be there, and I hope when it’s my time, childless and spouseless, someone does the same… because they care.

Safe travels, thou good and faithful servant. I hope they play a mean game of Hand and Foot in heaven too…



LaVon with Corbin and Madre at her 92nd birthday dinner…

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FYI Lindsay… BoBo said he wants to go live with this guy who has a goose coming out of his book!

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Two-fer Cooler…

Howdy Whitney’s Blog Space… that sounds so 2005, right!? But give me credit because at least it’s better than me chiseling about things on a cave wall with a dude named Grogzella.

In less ancient news, this past weekend was BoBo’s 2nd birthday… STOP!! Lindsay said she wasn’t going to go all out like she did his 1st bday shindig, and she said she didn’t, but I really think she did because my definition of not going all out is driving through the Mickey Ds drive through and going to a park. Now that, friends, is not going all out! Instead she rented a gigantic bounce house with water features for her front yard and had homemade food and decorations galore (that she says my mom made because she had hair-mergencies last week too… like it was bald-dire for a few minutes there!) The only thing I had complaints about is she had the nerve not to plant ginormous shade trees and have air conditioning outside so I wouldn’t have melted to death in the 95-degree sunshine! THE NERVE!!! Big Boy BoBo (his request, not mine) got spoiled rotten and I’m not sure he liked all of the activities, but the neighbor kids sure did!

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TWO! Baby’s cheeser smile is getting pretty scary these days! 😛

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E-man turned 17 this summer, so of course we got his birthday pictures! 😛

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Tractor majigger thinger… Backhoe? He knows all the names… Eh, I don’t.

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Shayne made this awesome Blippi cake… have I mentioned that Blippi scares me!? He does, okay!?

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“Boo” ice cream!

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Dragging Through Driggs…

Yello… How’s it going long lost blog space? I’ve been lazy with blogging the last several weeks, and by lazy I really mean I didn’t want to do it, and when I set my mind to something, you best believe it gets done… but only if it requires doing nothing, so scratch the ambitious part of that sentence. Boy, do I ever paint a picture of myself right here… it’s like I’m advertising myself to the sleep disorder center.

Anyhow, this past week I spent with the fam-damly up in their old stomping grounds, Teton Valley, Idaho. Driggs and Victor to be more specific. I guess the family does that every year on the 4th, but this is one of the times I actually went with them, so you can mark that down in the books somewhere. Baby BoBo turned into a bear up there and chased people around in his birthday suit, Ethan and Shayne did death defying stunts off of super high banisters into bean bags, Lindsay threatened lawsuits and divorce when they brought Bourne on one of the jumps, and Whitney mainly checked for germs and doled out Minion Tic Tacs to the masses… and by masses I really mean Baby BoBo the Bear. All in all, it was an eventful trip which included a hike, a rodeo, Grand Targhee wandering, a small-town parade, and lots of Pop-Its!

Dance party with Baby BoBo as the boss and no one allowed to wear shoes… boy, it must be nice to be the boss!

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Hiking… Baby BoBo made it 1 mile walking on his own… then he had to be carried… where do I sign up for that gig y’all!?!?

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Nekked bears chasing “Ma” and “Pa” before bath time.

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Victor Parade with the coolest dude in town…

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Driggs Rodeo… yee-haw!

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Grand Tetons for the win!

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Classiness Is A Verb…

Y’all… it’s been the weirdest… the other week I brushed a dead spider out of my hair… it was all crumpled and brittle… and basically dead… and I almost shaved my entire 3 hairs off my head and started over! The weirdest part about it is I wash my hair thorouhgly EVERY. SINGLE. DAY!!!!! So, like how in the sam hill bean company did a spider burrow into my hair follicles, die, and then brittle up in the space of a couple of hours? Don’t mind me… I’m basically traumatized for life… it’s okay y’all.

In other weirdness, that same week I was sitting in the parking lot of Macey’s, about to get out to go in and get my grocery shopping on, when some brilliant person comes screeching out the Kentucky Fried Chicken drive through and slams into my front bumper like I’m some invisible Beulah the Buick car or something. I was even laying on my horn because I saw that she wasn’t slowing down. She got out of her car looked at my bumper and was like, “I hope I didn’t damage your car too much.
Thanks for honking.” Uh…. sure… except it didn’t work because you still bat in helled right into my car. Because I’m nice and Beulah was an embarrassment of bird doo, I didn’t call the police or get her insurance info. So, the leak I discovered and the physical damage adds to the charm of the Beulah phenomenon!

Now that you are reminded about how classy I really am, Lindsay gifted my mom (for mother’s day) and I (for a graduation present), a reservation to afternoon tea at the Grand America Hotel in Salt Lake City this past weekend. Basically, the Grand America Hotel is for hoity toity people… people who line their garbage cans with 100-dollar bills. I line my garbage cans with recycled grocery store sacks, so you can see my dilemma. I called in advance to see if there was a dress code, because let’s face it, I wasn’t wearing a formal gown. I was told that there was a variety of dress, but most people come in their casual clothes. We showed up in our casual clothes, which was totally fine because at least half of the place was wearing casual clothes, but then the other half was glaring at us like we done spit in the herbal tea carafe. Several tables were wearing fancy floral dresses with old-fashioned hats with netting veil-like things that come down over the eyes. Oh my laws y’all… I forgot my netting at the gold-plated dry cleaners. Then, to top it off after our fancy waiter gave us an entire menu full of fanciful British teas to choose from, Lindsay done asked if they had a jumbo mug of Diet Coke. I’m surprised she didn’t pull her gas station mug out her purse and ask them to fill ‘er up, fellas. The waiter brought her a Diet Coke in a wine glass… so you can see our dilemma.

Even if we weren’t the classiest patrons in the place, we still had a good time. Next time I’ll be sure to wear more gold-infused floral!

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The first 3-tiered tray of food. Finger sandwiches, some with goat cheese and arugula (gag me a maggot) and others with more normal things like chicken and turkey.

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The dessert tray… I didn’t really make it to this tray. I was too full from coconut almond hot chocolate and goat cheese sandwiches.

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A trip to SLC is never complete without some cheeser BoBo time! Even if he is wearing one Elmo slipper and one Cars slipper.

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Harley the cat huggles…

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Yep… snow in mid-May. Don’t sign me up!

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Sale-ebrations…

Mother’s day weekend is always jam packed over here at the Mediocre Ranch. You have your annual mother’s day and then my dad’s birthday falls around the same time, so we always try to celebrate both in the same weekend.

This weekend was no exception. There was a visit from Baby BoBo and his big cheeser grins. We squirted some flowers with the water guns I got at the dollar store, got dirty in the neighbor’s sandbox, saw some baby chickies at the Cal-Ranch store, made a steak dinner with funeral potatoes and non-alcoholic Summer In A C Cup drinks, ate overly-priced brunch at the golf course where BoBo shared an ice cream cone with the floor, talked to Elder Bro Christian on his mission via Skype, and unsuccessfully tried to take group selfies… now all I have to do is take the 32 selfies, cut out the individual people, and photoshop them into a group photo where everyone is looking at the camera at the same time. So easy… said no one ever!

In other news, we also celebrated mothers… I am all for celeebrating the hardworking, long-suffering women in my life… y’all deserve all of the accolades and more, especially my momma! I also have a hard time with this day as I am reminded that I was not blessed with children, and it always gives me a tinge of sadness to think of it. Life is an interesting mish mash of twists and turns… and one day I hope to know more about it.

Happy mother’s day to my momma and the few other mother’s who read this blog… and also a big happy birthday to my dad who turned a whopping 39 (coughyeahrightcough) this year! Love you all!

This is my favorite video… turn on the sound!

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Oh cheeser baby… also, ice cream cones with a fork is the new thing.

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Neighbor Thomas is always so sweet to let Bourne play with his toys.

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Oh Hey, April Fool!

Hey y’all… so, it’s April and that is always a good thing in my book… even if it rains 24/7. BoBo was here this past weekend and we sloshed through the mud on the canal bank like we were farmers with a purpose. Then, BoBo caked up his new shoes with 6 inches of mud and the party was over before it began. It’s always a party until someone gets muddy said the uptight OCD chick. He met our 3-year-old neighbor, Thomas, and they had a grand ole time loading up dump trucks with mud and dirt… until they started fighting over the bulldozer truck… and then it was like Jerry Springer with babies… except not at all like that and mostly crying crocodile tears until they got their way. Good friends.

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In other news, I ordered some prepackaged meals from a place called BistroMD last week. The purpose of it was to get me into a better routine of eating 3 square meals a day with more protein and veggies and less carbs. Let’s start with the pros… when you’re a single person cooking for a single person, in order to avoid wasting ingredients and food you basically have to eat the same thing for breakfast, lunch, and dinner all week… or at least I haven’t found a better way. With these flash frozen “gourmet” meals I ate a different thing every meal and every day. It was like I was like Oprah or something… except not at all like that because I had to feed myself… and I was not eating off of golden plates with platinum silverware. The meals all ranged from 200 to 400 calories and a day’s worth of food, including 2 small snacks came out to between 1200 and 1300 calories per day. Each meal was also 50% to 60% protein. There were some excellent entrees that I enjoyed and would totally eat again, case in point, this whole wheat bagel egg white and turkey sausage sandwich at around 320 calories.

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There were also some entrees that I had to gag down… and I mean literally gag down… like this concoction titled Broccoli Chicken casserole… which looked really delicious as a picture on the website with actual chunks of chicken and broccoli… instead, this is what I got:

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Some sort of pureed babyfood-like chicken and broccoli that made me feel like I forgot to put my dentures in before dinner. There is not a chicken chunk or broccoli chunk in sight, y’all!

There was also beef and pork… I have a hard time with meat… sue me. I’m okay usually with chicken and turkey on occasion (depending on the form it takes), but beef and pork are a different beast in the texture and taste department. So, while my goal was to eat more protein, I did not enjoy all of the proteins.

To sum it up… it was a good experience and I did order some more ala carte meals that I’m going to disperse into my days the next few weeks, but by the end of the week I went to Subway and ordered me an egg white and veggie sub instead of beef bourgenese or whatever you call it. That’s my kind of gourmet, yo… and they don’t puree it!

Exercise this past week was pretty good… I did 3 or 4 days of walking even when it was cold and windy and rainy and 2 more days of purposefully moving a lot more chasing BoBo around.

I need some updates on you all? How are things going over your ways? What goals are you going to set for this upcoming week?

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Lindsay must have gone into early blogging retirement. Like, I haven’t seen her send me an update in 2 weeks. I hope she got a great severence package from her blogging boss. Lindsay… Beuhler!?

I call this following montage, Baby cheesers… every time you say cheese or hold up a camera, BoBo practices his cheeser smile…

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Saturday, we had a surprise sendoff party for my nephew, Christian. After months of trying to get his leukemia in check after being sent home from his mission, he’s finally able to go back out and serve full time and will be leaving on Tuesday. He has to stay close to home so that he can be within a short distance of Huntsman Cancer Institute, but he’s super stoked to be going to Orem, Utah Spanish Speaking mission! This guy is a stellar dude for sure and we could all learn something from him about having a positive attitude in the face of adversity! Go, Christian, Go! In the above picture, I was videoing Christian opening the gift he was given and BoBo thought the camera was for him. Oh BoBo!

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He’s also learned a new trick called stick your finger up your nose to get attention! Oh BoBo!

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In The Delusional Part Of My Brain, I’m Only 25!

It’s that time of year when I pretend I’m 25 for the 13th straight year in a row! I can’t say 25 was a great year for me… but it sure as heck sounds a lot better than 38! By the by family, if you age me by rounding that up to 40 one more time, I’m filing a petition to be adopted by another family… perhaps one who rounds the number down to 25 at all times! Hear!?

The number thing aside, this “birthday week” was full of all things Octoberish… because I do enjoy me a grand ole October day… and since there are 31 of those days, I best take advantage of every last one. Note to my 2 readers, there are only 7 days left… get outside!

On Wednesday on my day off from work, I headed down Salt Lake City way so that Lindsay and BoBo could come to the Wheeler Historic Farm. On the way Auntie Whitty and Baby BoBo snacked on peanut butter crackers from Trader Joe’s and learned our vowels… you go Baby BoBo (you’ll have to excuse my off tuneness… I only sing properly for an audience older than 1)!

At the farm, Baby BoBo got to drive a tractor and ride on a wagon ride and pet some animals and get acosted by 12,000 geese and 20,000,0000,00000000 ducks… and Auntie Whitty stepped in 12 gallons of goose doo, so there was that.

I took this picture right before BoBo fell off this bench onto his head… so there was that sad party… and pretty much scores me Aunt of the year!

Then, yesterday the fam all came up to go to the annual North Logan Pumpkin Walk… kudos Pumpkin Walk peoples! Y’all rock it every year!

BoBo got to stare at a scary witch, who really was a very friendly singing witch, but he couldn’t take his eyes off of her…

Step away from my broom! The next picture cracks my stuff up! Big bro Christian brought a friend along. Matt found a walking stick on the way to the line up and was using that, so BoBo wanted to have his own walking stick… Oh BoBo, you hilarious!

Today, we went to visit some animals around town and then had pasketti dinner with Ryan, Angie, Makayla, and Corbin…


Oh heys everyone… here I is in some leaves…

To round off the day, Makayla and Corbin surprised me by giving me this beautiful wall hanging they colored… thank you, sweet lil ones!

All in all, this girl got spoiled… and I also broke my 5-1/2-month sugar-free streak by partaking in sugar. Oh laws, the flood gates are now opened. Aiming for once or twice a week on the sugar front… period… end of story!

Thank you to all of the friends and family for the gifts, the visits, the messages, the FB posts, etc. Y’all are the best!

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