Category Archives: Family

Just Call Me Spontaneity… Bwahahaha…

Hello… remember me from 7 years ago? The stick in the mud chick? The one who people feel the need to whap upside the head with a bag of 60-day-old bagels on account of the fact that she’s unmoving in her psycho scheduled ways? Yeah… that’s right… it’s me! Hello! Except now my psycho scheduled ways which should include cool stuff like sleeping more than 30 minutes and exercising and doing homework at a decent hour, etc., etc., etc., also includes serving invisible burgers and fries to a snake and a googly-eyed giraffe for 0 cents an hour on a 3×5 phone screen. SOMEONE… STEP UP TO THE PLATE with that bag of stale bagels, yo! For everyone’s sanity… I beg of you!

In less overly dramatic news… Friday night I went to bed with plans to wake up on Saturday, menu plan, grocery shop, hit the farmer’s market, take some fallish pictures, and sit down to read my 900 pages of literature reading for the week. You know, the usual… Instead I woke up, bought last minute tickets to Maroon 5 in Salt Lake City, and became the queen of spontaneity! Bwahahahaha… I can’t say that with a straight face. Believe you me… the stick was still wedged up there pretty tight. Only once in a blue moon. You see, my sweet Madre has her a crush on Adam Levine… and her bucket list was lacking seeing him live and in person, so we remedied that! I rarely say no to a concert… unless it’s the 20-year reunion of Barney The Purple Dinosaur and Friends… cannot take the cheese! We had pretty great seats… I mean… this is how close!

Madre got her fangirl on… she’s like be still my beating heart… and I didn’t get thrown up on or beered once! It was a miracle! I forgot how many hit songs they had… I knew pretty much everything they sang.


“Sugar”


“Moves Like Jagger”

Thanks Adam Levine for the lesson in spontaneity! Let’s do it again… but next time with at least 3 weeks notice! 😛

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On the way we got to stop off and visit my Baby BoBo… hims was so excited to see my owly phone… me, not so much! We dropped by Gardner Village to see the witches…


BoBo’s like… Auntie Whitty Woo… look at all your new warts!


BoBo did not like this horsie… so big bro, Ethan got on and rode with him!


Hey everyone… giddy up! I a cowboy!


BoBo is also corn fed… here he is shucking his own kernels.

To update on my sugar-freeness… still sugar-free… 5 months this week. Still substituting with salty things and Diet Dr. Pepper. I’ve decided wiring my mouth shut might not be such a bad thing.

Have a fabulous Monday, friends!

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Cliche`s…

I got a note from my literature professor after the last paper I handed in that told me I oversaturated my paper with cliche`s! I was all like, well, you can lead a cow to the barn door, but you can’t make him sit on a chicken! That’s right… take that and smoke it. After I read that critique I spent the next two hours in my head space trying to think of all the cliche`s I could to use in my next paper. I’m raring to go… as the saying goes one person’s meat is another person’s poison, so absence does really make the heart grow fonder when a rose by any other name would smell just as sweet.

Help a gal out… leave me your favorite cliche`s in the comments! I have until December to use them all up!

Oh boy… they don’t know what they signed up for when they made my brain space! I tell you right now y’all!

We celebrated this boy’s birthday last night… albeit 2 weeks late! Corbin is 9… say it ain’t so!

This picture must sum up sibling rivalry at its finest!

Happy birfday, Dude! Next year you’ll be double digits… I wouldn’t recommend it!

BoBo’s like… hey errybody… look at me doing jazzy hands!

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Double X Treatment…

Busy weekend wherein I was supposed to squeeze in a gallon and a half of homework but ended up squeezing in approximately zero give a craps. That a girl, Whitney! You show them who’s boss down there at the due date office!

Instead I got to babysit my BoBo pal on Friday evening and all day Saturday while Lindsay and my mom attended a shindig. BoBo and I went on a walk to see some horsies, but it was so boring he fell asleep 12 times on the way there. We also went to a park to swing on some swings and pretend drive a wooden boat, BoBo was so over the playground. He was like, you seen one playground, you seen them all… let’s go to the bar! Oh baby… maybe when you’re two we’ll hit up the only bar here in town, “The White Owl”. Something to look forward to!


BoBo waving bye bye to the playground. Let’s jet, Auntie Whitty Woo!

BoBo got to eat his first creamie… 4 months of being sugar-free meant Auntie Whitty was mostly really jealous!

I gave him a pet kitty who will let BoBo give him kisses on account of the fact that he’s stuffed in a coma… slobbery kitty kisses for the win…

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Sunday afternoon we headed down to Salt Lake City to “meet the seats” in the new Eccles Theater. Madre bought season tickets for the first time in her life because she wants the opportunity to have the much sought after “Hamilton” tickets when it comes to town next year. Lindsay made us a deliciousfull dinner before (thank you, Poodle Head)! We brought royalty with us (what up, Karen) so we were pretty danged prestigious… except with Madre’s seats in row double X we were more like the peasants who scraped the cow manure off the royalty’s gold-plated shoes. Everyone there knew Karen because she’s the “ticket lady” Next time, Karen… tell them to bring in tastified sugar-free version of those lemon cookies. It’s the least they could do for royalty!


Those are royalty’s seats… Madre’s are further back… in double X!


15th anniversary of 09/11. I still remember that day back in 2001, hearing about the havoc when my radio alarm clock rang for me to get up to go to school. It was surreal then, and it’s still surreal to even think about. May God Bless America… we’re gonna need it, especially after this election!

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BoBo Es El Numero UNO…

Coherent is not in my vocabulary this morning, so we’ll have to deal with incoherent without a bottle of no-doze! Guess who turned number one this past week!?!? No, the answer is not Whitney’s bottle of Worcestershire sauce. Baby BoBo! He’s pretty much geezering up the joint. Lindsay couldn’t pass up the opportunity to throw a shindig to remember! I mean, BoBo won’t remember it because he’s a baby… but I ate a dagnabbed 4 bites of burnt steak so I’m sure to remember this occasion FOREVER!!

BoBo’s job was to hold up his birthday sign in the yard. He lasted approximately 3 seconds and then we had to bring in the fishing line reinforcements.


There were games with famous people… Wolverine flew in to play darts… aka Big Bro Ethan with dart fingers.


Big Bro Christian got the enviable task of grilling the 3 kinds of meat… THREE!!!!! It was like a meat-a-ganza up in that joint! (PS – this stellar guy could still use your prayers… he didn’t get great diagnosis news… yet he still seems to be schooling us all in the art of how to live your life trusting the Lord’s plan. My money’s on him!)


This is obviously pre-party-goers, and yet again, the rotted deck did not fall through with all of the people on it! Blast the luck!


Lookit… my daddy made me this kitty cat cakes… I liked the ears and eyeballs the best!


But pretty soon, I went into a cake-eating coma!


Oh, did you want a piece too? Better luck next year!


The aftermath!


Happy Birfday, Baby BoBo the Magnificent! Don’t hurry to #2, please!

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Lost count of the days, but I’m still sugar-free… mostly because I don’t trust myself if I were to add it back in. I’ve learned over the years with me it’s all or nothing… addictive personalities for the lose! If anyone needs me I’ll be searching for an edible sugar-free cookie… I said EDIBLE!

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Honorary Redneck…

Hey y’all… I’m okay… I just swallowed a baby moth-like creature, but other than that I’m fixin’ to be pretty mediocre. Mediocrity is my gig… if it requires work to be exceptional, I’d rather live here in Mediocrity-ville. Ambition… it’s what’s for dinner.

In other news, this past weekend was our annual Kayla and Corbin sleepover shindig wherein we usually end up lamenting the downfall of our favorite miniature golf place… may she rest in peace. This year it also happened to land on the weekend of the Cache County Fair… or as I like to think of it, that one time a year where I meet all the people who wear dental floss as an actual outfit. As the kids say these days, they be on fleek, yo! Do the kids say that? I’m so out of the loop. Get back to me on that, kids who be fleeky!

The plan was to let them pick out 2 rickety carnival-like rides whilst Whitney and company counted the amount of booty shorts within a 3-mile radius. 852 is your answer. They picked the ferris wheel and this swing-like ride called the Yo Yo as the ones that looked the least scary. In other news, I picked the corn on the cob line as the one that looked the least scary.

After the Redneckville parade, there was a trip to McDonald’s and a Spy Kids movie marathon on Amazon Prime. The next morning there was a trip to the farmer’s market for some tomatoes, peaches, and corn on the cob, a miniature golf date wherein I discovered that I’m the next Tigress Woods if she played miniature golf mediocrely. Subway at the park for lunch followed… by the park I really mean the swamp. It seems that a sprinkler pipe burst or something and the entire lawn was submerged in 3 inches of water… there is nothing more pleasant than walking around for the rest of the day in squishy shoes and wet socks. GROSS!!! Madre kept saying that’s just how they water it, but I’m gonna say that’s a big no on a Saturday in the summer in a park where kids play!

Thanks for playing Makayla and Corbin… keep your hands and feet inside the crazy train at all times!

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Thank you for the prayers and well wishes for sweet Christian. He goes in today (Monday) to hopefully find out the results of the bone samples they took last week, so they’ll know which kind of leukemia it is. These boys are the coolest y’all!


BoBo’s like, hey big bros… let’s have a conversation!

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Let’s Be Cooler This Week…

This past week has been an interesting week for me. Interesting in that it has been as weird as anytime Kanye West opens his yapper. I would say it was a bad luck week, but I just started my positivity movement 5 minutes ago, and it would suck to already break my 4-1/2 minute positivity streak! YAY, WHITNEY!! Dang… back to 0… I just complained about my new neck pillow… it’s awkward y’all! Because my old one disintegrated in the washing machine this weekend after 2 years of regularly washing it once a week… and I’d just broken it in too! Let’s take a moment to mourn the neck pillow. Okay, moving on.

Summer semester also started this past Monday, after a 3-day break from spring semester ending… which made me all cranky, and now I’m pretty much on a strike because it’s taken me all dagnabbed week to read 30 pages in my sociology book, it’s Sunday night and I still have 7 pages left, the homework assignment and the quiz. Homework… let’s be cool and start doing you, okay!?

Classes for summer semester include a juvenile delinquency course for my sociology minor and a physics course dealing with the universe and cosmology, which is required and my guidance counselor has told me I needed to take it every semester now for the past 4 years and I’ve put it off, but now I only have like 3 semesters left (2 after summer) and I sorta can’t put it off any longer. I cried for like 5 days when the first assignment this week was an algebra quiz. Uhhhhh… the last time I did algebra was in high school, and I don’t mean to date myself, but that was longer than 10 years ago, but less than 100 years ago… you do the math! Math deals with numbers… why do I have 15 letters in these dang equations! I’ve been watching algebra tutorials all week long, and it’s like watching someone giving a lecture on molecular fusion… except more annoying. It would work better, if you’d tutorial the exact same problems I’m doing, YouTube geniuses! Let’s hope that Whitney’s brain develops a love for all things mathematics before the end of the semester… but let’s not hold our breaths!

Rounding out the weirdness, I spent 5 hours in the dentist’s chair and 1000 bucks… spent 700 bucks to get my Beulah the Buick car’s air conditioner fixed (after 4 years of not having an air conditioner), only to have it break again the next day. Yep… she’s going back into the shop on Tuesdee… and then I somehow threw out my back and couldn’t move or walk for 4 days… which was cool and all because it gave me an opportunity to start my new positivity movement, which I will have to start again after I finish writing this post… see how hard it is to be positive!? Well, I’ll be Aunt Bea!

Lookit… BoBo has moved on from grand theft autoing Beulah the Buick to sports cars… we always knew he had good taste in criminal activity.

He says… I so proud of myself!

Happy Birthday to my Dad (yesterday)… He turned 65 years young and doesn’t look a day over 64! I meant 40! Stop it! I’ve said this already in an FB post and a card, so I’m kind of like a really broken record, but the thing I most took away from my dad is hard work… he’s worked hard all of his life and taught my sister and I to do the same. He was also a great example of service. He’s done many services quietly and without being asked to friends and neighbors. Hope year 65 is a good one, Dad!

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Moms…

Happy (belated) Mother’s Day to all of you selfless, tireless, hard-working, underappreciated, long-suffering, little-brat-butt-kicking, wooden-spoon-teeth-bearing, sweet mommas out there in the bloggerverse and in my friend- and family-verse. I hear there’s no job more rewarding and no job more exhausting than being a momma. I hope your families and kidlets spoiled you all rotten and that you were showered with thoughts and cards of appreciation and love.

This song called, “Mom” from Garth Brooks’s newest album is a sweet reminder for all of you chasing after havoc-wreaking toddlers, for those angsting over teenagers straying from the right, and for empty-nester mothers longing for the days when they had little ones… Hugs and love to you all!

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I wasn’t going to bring this up, but when I’m feeling down, there’s nothing better than to spew out all of my thoughts onto the internet (you are welcome spewing society of internet followers), so here’s me spewing… take it with a bucket of salt substitute. Mother’s Day has always been a bittersweet day for me. I am thankful for my sweet momma, and the fact that she is still here on this Earth when many are missing their own sweet mommas, and for her tireless efforts to try to make a lady out of me (sorry it’s taking so long, mother). I’m thankful for the examples and love from all the moms who are part of my sphere, and the genuine friendship they offer me. I’m also always left with a feeling of semi-failure and of longing to be a part of this great motherhood club you all have going on.

I know the purpose of life is different for everyone, and I stray so far from the normal purpose that it sometimes leaves me confused, with a desire to have taken the more normal life path. I am also not sure why I was not chosen to be a mother… was I not cut out for the task? Why do I not get little hearts to cherish and love and rear up into functioning adult people? It also leaves me with a feeling of loneliness… and I can’t help it, I always think of the future… who’s going to cut my brittle toenails and change my bed sore bandages? 😛 You are welcome for that visual.

I’m pretty good at ignoring these feelings/brushing them to the back of my brain and living life as I go, but every so often the thoughts bubble up and overwhelm my senses…

My depressing blog post of the year. I also had another depressing topic to choose from (the newest depressing weight loss/metabolism study), but I suppose that will have to wait for another week. Hallelujah! In the meantime, keep trucking y’all… enjoy the lot you were given in life and forge ahead searching for that pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. Pretty sure count chocula and the Trix rabbit are conspiring with the Lucky Charms leprechan to hide it from us… but we’ll recruit Tony the Frosted Flakes Tiger and get it anyway! They’re Grrrrrrrrreeeeeaaaaattttt! You will only know that reference if you watched TV in the 80s and 90s… sue me.


Look everyone… I go shopping with Auntie Whitty at Costco. She pretended to buy me these books but then put them back at the checkouts. BoBo… don’t tell people that!


Auntie Whitty… you need to brush your hairs better today…

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