Category Archives: Quotes

Largette… In The House!

I am so totally blanking on how to string a sentence together tonight it isn’t even half funny… plus I think I shook the humor bone right out of my noggin when I landed on it Monday night.  Whiplash!  Robert DeBry and Associates… One Call… That’s All.  Who would I sue?  Rumpita the bicycle?  The curb?  The gaggling teenage girls?  Most likely the tree I had to get a picture of.  I also am sore, stiffer than a board at a hardware convention, and have some great looking purpley bluish bruises all up and down my right side… I figure if I can get a few more I can audition for the part of  Largette… Smurfette’s bigger-boned cuzzin.  I’ll get back to you on that!  Who knew exercising was so dagnabbed dangerous!!  What’s that you say?  Not for normal people… I resent that!  In the meantime… here are a few pictures and a quote.  Y’all have a fabulous Wednesday, you hear!?





Filed under Quotes

Clear Eyes, Full Hearts… Can’t Lose!

That quote is from my favorite TV show, Friday Night Lights.  I like it because it’s not deep and yet it’s deeeeeeeeeppppp… like drowning in a pile of quicksanding cow manure.  Let’s face it, I ain’t going to win everything in this life I’m living.  It ain’t possible.  Sometimes I am going to lose, but I believe that even if I come out on the losing end of the stick, I can still be a winner just by having had the experience… just by having gone through the journey.  That’s some deep heifer crap right there, right?

I can definitely say right up front that I’ve not always had that attitude.  I’d say from about the age of 13 through the age of 29, I just thought I was on a downward spiral of losing.  Nothing I did turned out right and things were just getting worse and worse.  At one point, I couldn’t even walk half a block for crying out loud!  I had no control of the situations I was put into, nor the results.  I was a victim of my bad luck… my surroundings… I was just a girl who would always get the bad end of the stick.  It was a gradual decline over those years into the pit of despair and hopelessness.  I cried a lot… I thought a lot… I woe is me-ed a lot.  It was like living in a sewer hole in the town of Patheticville.  I’m not only a resident… I’m the town Mayor.

Having come out on the other side, I can truly see why I needed to go through that heifer crap.  It’s like lifting a veil; I can now see so clearly what my problems were and I now know what needs to be done to get them fixed… and I’m willing to work for it.  I’m not winning all the time even today, but it’s that constant desire to keep trying that I didn’t have during those years that keeps me trucking along.  Those battling years weren’t a loss… I came out having won the war.

Clear  Eyes… Full Hearts… Can’t Lose!  Ever!

I bought this necklace to wear as a reminder.  I stil have things to win up in this here joint.  DO IT!!

Question of the Day:  Do you have a favorite quote? 


Filed under Quotes

A Few Reminders…

Quote day… mostly because I’m tired… but also because I needed these reminders and maybe some of you need them as well.  If you don’t, go back to bed… napping makes the world go round!

This first one was sent to me by my pal, Lissa aka Avster… thank you for the reminder, Avy Sue!

VERY important to remember… even if it feels like it’s been tied to me my whole life… it’s not everything about me!

This other one was sent to me by Madre… most likely from one of her Pinterest perusings!  Thank you, Madre!

No regrets, friends… Onward and upward!



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If You Want To Do It… All You Have To Do Is Do It!

One of my favorite weight loss success stories…

“There are many ways to fail, but only one way to succeed; NEVER GIVE UP!”

– J. Pangalila


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Uncaging My Bird – The Plan

Wanderer, your footsteps are the road, and nothing more;
Wanderer, there is no road, the road is made by walking.
By walking one makes the road, and by glancing behind
One sees the path…
– Antonio Machado

Just had to retrieve this plan of action from the bottom of the bird cage… it was totally just serving as the bird turd catcher.  Just scrape it off a bit and I’m on my way.  I think that’s how I’ve treated any sort of goal in the past… like the paper used to catch the bird turds (wow, do I have a fascination with birds lately or what?)  True story… I’m actually quite nervous around birds.  When I was 4 or 5 years old I was visiting my grandma on a farm when a huge turkey attacked me… I fell to the ground and the huge sucker sat on top of my chest and gobbled at me and flapped it’s wings at me… I swear it weren’t Thanksgiving and I did not own an Ax!  Ever since then birds freak me out… just something about the fact that they have wings and they fly and poop on people’s heads and Whitney’s car, and they make annoying squawking noises at 5:00 in the morning.  I’ve almost had magpie soup for breakfast a few times… who wants to join me for brunch tomorrow morning? 

Just like I’m afraid of the birds because I don’t know their intentions… for all I know that turkey could have been offering me a free massage; I’m also afraid of doing anything because I don’t know how it will turn out.  Will I fail?  Will there be hard work and brain crunches and will I have to get too far out of my comfort zone?  I don’t know the answers to those questions… and since I don’t know exactly how it’s going to turn out, it’s just easier to sit on my butt and do nothing.  I know how that butt sitting appointment is going to turn out… someone’s going to win American Idol… Marcia Brady’s nose is gonna get broke… Lucy Ricardo is going to botch up everything she does… and the folks on the Bachelorette are gonna makeout a lot and then eventually break up (side note… I do not, will not, and would not watch the Bachelor and/or Bachelorette… you seen one dating polygamist, you seen ’em all!) 

So, rather than sit here for the rest of my life wondering about the next turn in the road, I’m just going to start walking, make my own path that I can eventually look back at and be all like… That’s a mighty fine lookin’ path, Bernice… I’d be mighty proud to walk down that sucker!   Thus, the reason for the plan of action to make sure my bird gets uncaged… gotta make a plan or else nothing will get done and I’ll still be sitting around with a psychotic squawking turkey on my chest in anticipation of the next Brady Bunch marathon. 

Bucket List Item #1:  Singing CD
Date of Completion:  October 23, 2011 (my birthday)


1 – Pick out songs to sing, find accompaniments in my voice range (either noncheesy-sounding karaoke music or piano)
2 – Call desired recording studio (Jay Richards) and ask questions about pricing, time needed to complete recording, whether he can accompany, etc.
3 – Drive 20 miles to Franklin, Idaho… buy scratch and win lottery ticket… win lottery to pay for above-mentioned recording studio!  😛
4 – Practice, practice, practice.
5 – Cut off my head to drain out the allergy goobers in my throat/nose and/or dust off the cobwebs on my vocal cords.
6 – Record songs.
7 – Scream HALLELUJAH, OPRAH at the end of the CD!

Bucket List Item #2:  Trip
Date of Completion:  By October 1, 2011 (aiming for mid Septemberish)


1 – Pick out place to go… Palmyra, New York.
2 – Plan exact week to go, sidestepping friendly woman hormone hoarding week.
3 – Buy plane tickets (I’ll still need 2… one for me and another for the bane of my existence)
4 – Become extreme couponer to save money for trip…
5 – Make out itinerary for the week and places to stay, etc.
6 – Sew sheet bedcover for germy hotel room.
7 – Have fun!

And there we go… totally easy, right!?  I should be making time to see some progress on those steps each week, and I’ll be sure to document my progress once a week on this here blogging site… just so that I can put more of you to sleep.  This here blog is a cure for insomnia… though it still has yet to cure my insomnia!!  You can thank me later. 

One of my all-time favorite movies, which I’ve only mentioned about 8000 times on this here blog, is The Wizard of Oz.  Near the end of the movie, Glinda, the good witch of the North visits Dorothy just when she is at her lowest point, thinking she’ll never be able to return home to Kansas.  Dorothy asks Glinda if she will help her.  Glinda’s reply:  You don’t need to be helped any longer… you’ve always had the power to go back to Kansas.  To which the brainless scarecrow replies, Then why didn’t you tell her?  Glinda’s answer, Because she wouldn’t have believed me… she had to learn it for herself.  And so it is… despite never knowing it was there, I’ve always had the power to change my life… I just needed to learn it was there.  By Golly, Toto… I think she’s gonna get it yet! 

Question of the Day:  I’m ready for your action plan to accomplish your bucket list items… give it to me!

Not gonna let my negative thoughts "handicap" me any longer. Let's Do This! The sky is the limit!


Filed under Mission: Uncage the Singing Bird, Quotes

Navigating A Holy-Day…

Y’all… it’s Easter weekend and whether you celebrate the holiday for the religious purpose or the freaktastically huge-mongous walking on hind legs full grown man dressed as a bunny purpose, there will be food.  Food,  more food, candy, more candy, chocolate… excuse you… leave chocolate out of this… it is a perfectly acceptable member of the sane people food group!  I will be eating candy this weekend.  There are no ifs, ands, or buts about it.  I’m not going to tell myself I’m not because that type of restriction talk brings on the inevitable stubbornitis… and stubbornitis basically is a disease where because I want to rebel against the YOU CAN’T HAVE THIS mantra, I immediately eat the whole witch’s house from Hansel and Gretel topped with the entire factory from Charlie Sheen and the Chocolate Factory.  So, I’ll allow myself Easter candy… and still lose weight in the process.

Easter as a kid included Easter egg hunts…  I was the kid who never got any eggs because I was too nice to fight for them… pretty sure that was before I had discovered the mindnumbingly hallucinogenic powers of the cocoa bean.  I was content sitting back watching everyone else fill up their basket while mine remained empty… I was polite and shy and well mannered and always looking out for the younger kids… and in the process I got walked all over!  No more… this year I aim to get what I want… even if I have to pull some hair and elbow some guts in the process (and that’s just in the 8 and under group)!  What do I want this year?  A life… and I’ll be fighting for that until the freaktastically huge-mongous overgrown man in a bunny costume realizes he looks ridiculous and gets a job dressing as a college basketball mascot.  Somewhere between those childhood Easter egg hunts where I spent most of the day feeling sorry for myself with an empty basket and today, I found that bit of fire I’d been missing.  That go get it, fill-up-my-basket attitude… or maybe it was there all along hiding amongst the deviled eggs and glazed hams of the holy-day.  GO GET YOURS!! 

“Everything you want should be yours: the type of work you want; the relationships you need; the social, mental, and aesthetic stimulation that will make you happy and fulfilled; the money you require for the lifestyle that is appropriate to you; and any requirement that you may (or may not) have for achievement or service to others. If you don’t aim for it all, you’ll never get it all. To aim for it requires that you know what you want”
~ Richard Koch 

Question of the Day:  What do you want most in life right now?

Note:  Have a great holy-day weekend friends!  Enjoy yourselves and report back on Monday.  Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do in prison.   


Filed under Chocolate, Quotes

What I Learned From the Little Lady in the Pink Coat…

This was my exercising mountain this past Saturday afternoon:

Stairs… I hate stairs.  First of all, I’m self conscious about them… I huff and I puff and if there was a straw house in front of me, I’m sure I could blow it down… that is, if I’m still alive by the time I reach the top of them (me and the big bad wolf are likethis!)  Secondly, my knees aren’t the best… you try carrying 4 billion pounds around for 32 years and see how well you work.  Thirdly, where’s the escalator?  You can’t install an escalator… I ain’t interested in seeing what’s at the top of your stairs.  Fourthly, I’m a certified and registered CLUTZ with a capital all the letters (more on this in future blogging postages).  I could think of a fifthly through two-thousand and fiftiethly, but I’ll spare you the bore. 

See the pink dot in the picture above?  That pink dot was my stair-climbing inspiration on Saturday.  Small, bent over, and in her 80s… moving at a snail’s pace, she climbed up those stairs… she climbed down those stairs… and when I returned to the same spot 20 minutes later, she was climbing right back up those stairs.  I figure anyone who can make it past 80, deserves to be carried around on a throne of chocolate-covered pretzels by 4 buff guys named Sven… she was surely entitled to that, but instead, she was out climbing my arch nemesis and putting me to shame! 

I wish I could say that when I passed her on the way down that she stopped and uttered life-altering words that would forever change the course of my future… but instead, I  huffed and I puffed and I smiled and she smiled, and that was all I needed.  Little lady in the pink coat… if you’re reading this… thank you!  Thank you for teaching me that perseverance can get you wherever you need to go.  

Difficult things take a long time, impossible things a little longer.
– Author Unknown



Filed under Exercise, Quotes

Lena Horne… I Love You!

“It’s not the load that breaks you down… it’s the way you carry it.”
– Lena Horne

Y’all… let’s all stop for just a minute and let those magical words sink into our pores… I hear it’s great for the skin… magical words, that is.   That is some freaking PROFOUND stuff right there!  Where did I hear this quote… TV… yep… my idiot box.  I was watching the Oscars tonight when they were doing the “In Remembrance” section of the show… and this quote popped up at the end.  And I thought I couldn’t love Lena Horne more.  I sing at various functions and one of my go-to songs is Lena Horne’s “Stormy Weather,” so it’s only fitting that she would also provide one of my favorite quotes. 

If those words were any truer they’d fall from the heavens and smack me upside the head.  I have this load to carry (fat demons), and I can choose to bore a hole on the couch, wallowing in self pity (which I’ve done for years… believe you me) or I can take a new proactive approach to a better me.  I can tell you right now that there’s a world of difference in my attitude and outlook on life having chosen the proactive approach.  I’m sure my family would tell you the same thing… it’s been a long time since I’ve snapped someone’s head off with my incisors.  Family, if you are reading this… I’ll take my congratulatory plaque in a lovely taupe with gold encrusted diamonds surrounding my name carved in rubies… That’s not too much to ask for your saved head, right?   


Filed under Quotes