Category Archives: Recipes

Mac And Cheese, Please…

I have that idiotic Christmas song from Biebster Fever playing on a loop in my noggin space.  I am going to go insane!  You know the one about the mistletoe and shawties hanging out underneath it?  Oh, the humanity!!!!  Not that I’m not already insane.  Why, just last week I went on a walk only to discover that I’d grabbed a pair of fluffy socks out of my drawer instead of the intended gloves… so, I wandered the streets for 45 minutes wearing socks on my hands.  You are welcome, psychiatrists who want my business!

Here are a couple of the dishes I just about died over last week…

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This here is my favorite invention.  You take a can of no-salt-added diced tomatoes and mix it with a can of no-salt-added corn (drained) and no-salt-added pinto beans (drained).  Then, you liberally sprinkle cumin and chili powder, mix it up, throw it on a pita or a flat bread or whatever flips your dress in the air, and warm it up in the micro-oven…. Of course, no dish of mine would be complete without grape tomaters since I have an illness that requires me to eat them daily… shut up… it’s true…  Yummerified!

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This was literally one of the best makeover,  lightened-up Mac & Cheese recipes I’d ever eaten.  It had so much flavor and it was gooey delicified!  I doctored it up because I don’t use Velveeta cheese spread (and instead used Velveeta shreds I found in the shredded cheese section).  Depending on how big the serving, this clocked in at between 350 and 450 calories… and was calorizing well spent!  For some reason, I enjoy eating peas with mac and cheese… most times I just stir them together and call it a smorgasboard… Mac and Peas with Cheese, Please!

Question of the Day:  Do you like macaroni and cheese?  Any favorite recipes? 

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RIP Twinkie…

Lettuce (bwahahahahaha… I always want to do that) take a moment of silence for my childhood pal, Hostess Cupcakes.

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Okay, that’s enough.

It’s been years since I’ve had any sort of Hostess sweet treat, but I remember eating them regularly as a kid.  They were definitely a factorer into my gaining of 530 pounds of blobules.  I remember when I was 14 and 15 years old riding my bike to the Aggie Station just to buy a stash of them without my mom knowing.  She followed me in her car one time without me knowing because she knew I never voluntarily went for the exercise thing at that age, and I was grounded for days after that one.  I can still see her standing there as I walked out of the gas station, stash in hand, her teeth about to draw blood on her bottom lip.  That was her mad face… and boy was it scurry to me.

So, I guess it’s a good thing for me to put that part of my past away.  Goodbye ole Hostess Bakeries.  I’m sorry for the loss of jobs to those who had them and I hope they can all find work elsewhere.

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I may or may not have had a blueberry theme for breakfast last week.  Frozen blueberries are always in season and for some strange reason they are also like double the cost of the frozen other fruit.  They must be an endangered species.  Or like the GOLD of the fruit world.

The muffins are a healthy version of a blueberry muffin… healthy because they are made with wheat flour and applesauce.  They were good.  I froze the suckers and took one out at a time each morning… and now I have enough left to eat for breakfast this week.   The link takes you to the recipe, which is only a single serving version.  I timesed everything by 12 and made 12 because that’s how many muffin tin holes I had available.  Also, Cuties… welcome back to my life.  This was a particularly delicious batch of the suckers… you can’t beat a good Cutie tangeriney thinger.

I’m sure I’ve blogged about Hawaiian Haystacks before?  Beuhler?  It’s amazing what things you can plop together into a bowl and it taste so dang good!  Fruit/vegetables… throw ’em in!  This particular haystack included tomatoes (duh), carrots, celery cheese, almond slivers, raisins, chow mein noodles, pineapple, rice, and cream of celery soup… Um… DELICIOUS!

Question of the Day:  What was your favorite Hostess/Wonder product?  Are you going to miss them? 

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Food….

Here I am about to use that lame-wad word again… FOOD… I already mentioned I hate the sound of that word.  It’s so off-putting to my ear holes.  It’s like the words moist or jujubees.   A few of last week’s delectables:

Pumpkin Banana Muffins!  So, you have pumpkin and then you have bananas and they get married and become a muffin!  Sigh… so romantic!  I actually really enjoyed these muffins!  I think next time I might cut back a bit on the banana and put a bit more pumpkin in there as I could taste the banana more than the pumpkin and I’m totally an equal opportunity taster.

Coleslaw with Apples!  I’m marrying things all over the place last week!  This one married cabbage and apples, oh my!  I invented my own recipe here by adding the tomatoes and the honey-roasted peanuts (for the protein factor).  I also wayyyyyyyy cut back on the sugar in the dressing… it was still tastee.   I like the crisp tartness of the Granny Smith apple with the cabbage.  Winner winner coleslaw dinner!

Another marriage… penne pasta with garlic, broccoli, and lemon… this one was cantankered with via Martha Stewart.  Meaning, she gave a brief outline of something I might like and then I changed it up because I’m cantankerous.  Basically, cook you some whole wheat penne pasta, cut up some broccoli (to cook it throw it into the same pot as the pasta for the last 3 or 4 minutes… voila).  Get you a lemon, some lemon zest, some olive oil, and some garlic!  Throw in some Parmesan cheese… mix and serve!

FOOD!  Even if I hate the word, it sure as hades tastes good.  Dagnabit all to heck!

Question of the Day:  What are two foods that you enjoy “marrying” to make an even more delectable super food?

PS – Stay the course, FatMas people… if any people can do it… YOU CAN!  Because I said you could and I’m right 100% of the time according to the part of my brain that holds the ego portion!  DO IT!

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Dump and Fuhgettaboutit!

Totally channeling my inner Italian!  If I had one, but sadly I only have an inner hillbilly/redneck.  I reckon I ain’t never!  Short and sweet today… some favorite recipitas from the past few weeks!

This is my new favorite breakfast invention.  I’m serious right now!  It’s a modified version of a breakfast burrito eaten flat because then it feels like I’m eating more and it makes me convulse with excitement!   The recipe:

– An 80-calorie fiber Maya tortilla
– Half of an Ore Ida hashbrown patty, cut up
– Bean mixture (black beans, red peppers, and salsa) cooked in the same pan as the egg
– An egg (must be cooked hard and crusty… sue me… )
– Cheese (optional)

The key is to cook your bean mixture with the salsa and the red peppers (and you can probably add any other veggie-tables you want) in the same pan with the egg. YUM!!  I might have to have it again next week!  Warning:  May become addicting… Costa Vida agrees!

That ain’t a pretty picture (redneck holla, y’all), but it was so gosh durn easy to make this soup, I just had to let y’all in on the secret.  This is one of those dump ingredients into a crockpot and fuhgettaboutit recipes I so enjoy.  Potato Soup never was easier!

– One 30-ounce bag frozen hashbrowns (I used Ore Ida Country Style)
– Three 14-ounce cans of vegetable broth (reduced sodium) or chicken broth
– 1 can cream of celery soup (or cream of chicken)
– 1/2 cup chopped onion
– 1/4 tsp. black pepper
– 8-ounce package cream cheese (do not use fat free, it won’t melt!)

In a crockpot, combine everything EXCEPT for the cream cheese.  Cook for 6-8 hours on low heat.  About 1 hour before serving, add cream cheese and keep heated until thoroughly melted.  Serve with cheese, sour cream, bacon bits, green onions, or whatever else you think would be good!  My recipe was about 250 calories per serving when I broke it up into 7 good-sized servings.

Next time I make this I’m going to throw in some random vegetables and make it potato-vegetable soup!

TASTEE!  Possibly a good time to log your food whilst punching me in the face for your cardio session?  Why yes… I think I will!  I got in my lunch hour walk yesterday… it was a glorious escape into the fresh air because I then spent the rest of the day/night glued to my computer due to work and homework… 88 hours worth… at least (coughcoughgiveortake70hours).

Question of the Day:  What is your favorite go-to breakfast?   Day 2… what did you do to for points in NO MORE FATMAS yesterday?   

 

PS- News Flash half of the nation that is unhappy today… I just got word from Canada… they don’t want anyone from the US.  Stay put and carry on… respectfully.

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Don’t Eat the Foliage…

First things first.  Thank you all for the sweet birthday wishes!  They made me smile!  🙂  Secondly… BEST. BIRTHDAY. PRESENT. EVER!!!!

Take the above sentence and insert every single last piece of sarcasm you can possibly fit into those four words.  Starting the snow season on my birthday… not cool Nature… it was only yesterday I was frolicking through the horse manure pasture!  😛  The above picture was taken at 7:00 a.m., whilst I was in the midst of rocking back and forth screaming, WOE IS ME!!!  

Winter is coming faster than a salad shooter on turbo!  You best believe it.

Speaking of salad shooters… (that segueway was ingenious, Whit-Knit!)

So, it turns out mushrooms just up and grow in the grass.  All this time I could’ve been eating free mushrooms and here I sit purchasing mine at the penny pincher convention.

Note to self:  poison control numbers should be programmed into your cell phone.  Moving on… so, free mushrooms!  I’m actually not a huge fan of the flavor or texture of a mushroom.  But, I still force myself to eat them on occasion.  For example, the stir fry I made this week is full of the suckers.  I just clog my nose up real tight when I’m chewing… that’s what the 5-year-old next door taught me.  But only if the temper tantrum under the kitchen table didn’t quite work out.

I had vegetable soup last week… in a bread bowl.  Y’all… whomever invented the wonder that is a bread bowl should just get translated to heaven tomorrow.  Carby goodness filled with soup!?  Believe you me… a bread bowl is a lot more pleasant to eat than that glass one I tried last Tuesdee!

It really hit the spot… the spot where my carbivore bone lives.  Also, whomever invented Soup Supreme in the freezer section… THANK YOU!  140 calories is a steal for a cup of soup… just don’t look at the sodium section for very long until your eye transplant has been successful.

And who doesn’t love English muffin pizzas?   Don’t answer that… we still need to be friends!   My breakfast?

Quiche using Egg Beaters egg whites…

Note to self:  those poisonous mushrooms you found earlier would have been “kill”er in this here recipe!  I’m telling you right now!

Question of the Day:  What is your favorite kind of soup?  Do you ever do bread bowls? 

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Deer Tortillas…

I love easy peasy things… throwing together a bunch of things and cooking for a few minutes is my joint these days.  Plus, if I know I’ll like it I don’t have to feel like I could possibly waste food.  I’ve done that wayyyyyyyy too many times in the past.  Spent hours making a concoction, eating 3 bites of it and wanting to gag!  The garbage disposal does not enjoy me on those weeks!  Let’s face it… if I don’t look forward to eating something, chances are I’m going to find something else… and usually something non-healthy, non-calorie friendly, and non-vegetable/fruit-laden!  It’s totally my bad habit.  That’s why I love my “fried” rice/vegetable concoctions.  You can basically get away with throwing anything you want in this sucker and it usually turns out gloriously yummified.

Last week’s concoction included rice, frozen vegetables (my favorite, favorite is the Flav-R-Pak brand of stir fry veggies, i.e., snow peas, carrots, watercress, mushrooms, etc.), scrambled egg, onion, garlic cloves, pineapple, cashews, and grape tomatoes (as if I’d leave my babies out).  The sauce was a conglomeration of 1 Tblsp. reduced sodium soy sauce, 1 Tblsp. Teriyaki marinade (with pineapple juice), and a squirt or so of Agave Nectar (or honey).  So delici-fied and easy… even your pet squirrel could do it!

This picture is to show off my new tortilla discovery for my go-to taco salad nights!   You can’t really see it in this picture, but the tortilla has a greenish tint to it because it’s salsa verde flavor!!  Gives it some hotness and tons of flavor… and the best part 80 calories, lots of fiber, and DELICIOUS!   It’s a new brand they were sampling at Sam’s Club a few weeks back.  Nice-sized for 80 calories too.  Most tortillas are 150-plus calories and cardboardy!   Plus they had quite a few different flavors, chipotle, basil, throw your mama from the train, etc., etc., etc.

Deer Creek Foods Tortillas!  We have regular deer visitors in the backyard and around the neighborhood… it’s their second home… had I known they made tortillas in a creek, I’d have visited them more often!  They may be a Utah thing… but they are delicious!  I bought me a Salsa Verde, Smokey Chipotle, and a Garlic Pesto and stuck them in the freezer for future use… 80 calories for a delicious tortilla… that is hard to find!  They even had a dagnabbed chocolate-flavored tortilla for desserty recipes.  Um… hello… I just met you and this is crazy but here’s my number, so call me maybe!

Question of the Day:  What’s your favorite easy-peasy, go-to dinner?  

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Five-Year-Old Food Day…

You know how there’s that joke going around town (back in 1985) about how poor college kids are so poor they live on ramen noodles?  Because a package of ramen noodles is like 25 cents… for serious!  I ain’t saying they’re the nutritioni-est sustenance in the United States of Collegehood, but when push comes to shove, there are actually about 67 bajillion different things you can make with the suckers!  I have to stay away from the flavor packet they include… A. because they don’t have any vegetarian flavors and 2. because one of those things has enough sodium to salt the sea on a Tuesdee.  For some reason last week when I was making my menu for the week, I had this craving for Spaghettio’s.  HUH!?!?  I don’t even think I ate Spaghettio’s when I was 5 all that much.  You crave weird things when you’re stressed I guess.  So, I came across this recipe for something called “Kicked Up Skettio’s” and I went to town!  That’s a lie… I didn’t go to town… I stayed home and vegetated instead.

You use ramen and then mix a can of Healthy Request tomato soup after you drain the liquid off and then add some hot sauce and a bit of cheese.  It was pretty tastee for 5-year-old food… said the 30-some-odd-year-old chic with fruit loops on the brain.

For dinner on 5-year-old food day, I wanted tacos!  I classed these suckers up a bit and instead made a taco-like salad… with a twist, yo!   Black Bean and Veggie Tacos with Zesty Lime Slaw… try saying that 8 times with a taco in your mouth!

YUM!!  There were a lot of components to this particular dish… and by a lot I mean like 2… but that’s a lot for faux-5-year-old girl with a wedgie!  I combined components 2 and 3 to make it easier on myself… but holy hallelujah these were tastee!  The combination of different flavors… the spiciness of the bean/potato/veggie mixture with the cool limey flavor of the slaw and the crunch of the taco shell (that I smooshed up and put on the plate rather than try to eat it as an actual taco like a civilized adult)… glorious!  I will be making this recipe again.

Dessert time!  Did y’all know they make sugar-free brownie mixes these days?  And I gotta say… still tastee!  Especially if you warm up some frozen raspberries… I like to warm mine up so far that they’re kind of mushy and then I spread them around on the top of the brownie like jam and add some lite cool whip… because I’m addicted to Cool Whip!  Chocolatey-raspberry-sugar-free goodness!  Bring it!

Question of the Day:  Do you ever eat Ramen noodles?  Any favorite recipes?

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Cabbage Baggage…

So, I guess when I made my menu last week I was suddenly obsessed with cabbage.  I don’t know what came over me, but it happened and I was sore afraid.  Who gets obsessed with cabbage?  There is not one ounce of chocolate on that sucker!  I’m an embarrassment to the choc-a-holics of the world… EMBARRASSMENT!  A few of last week’s dishes:

Tee hee hee hee heeeeeee… CABBAGE!!!  This was called Whole-Food Coleslaw with a Secret Ingredient… ooooo… the suspense!  It wasn’t so much secret since she told me outright right in the recipe what the dagnabbed ingredient was!!  Swiss cheese… shredded.  Glory glory hallelujah… teacher hit me with a ruler.  Very tastee, I might say.  I did some finagling with the recipe to cut down on the calories… halving the sauce ingredients… and it still turned out yummified… but I prefer my vegetations to crunch… not sog.

The next cabbage dish?  Thai Veggie Peanut Wraps…  As you can plainly see, mine didn’t so much make it into wrap form.  Whitney has no patience for wraps.  Get a life and call me in the morning, wrapping people!  Instead, mine is a pseudo-faux-salady-thingamajigger.  I think you could probably do away with the wrap part completely and this would still be as tastee as the weekday is long.  You could probably even add some chicken or beef or meese meat and go to town!  Let’s face it, the secret to this recipes success… the peanut sauce!!!  YUM!!!!!!  I halved the recipe on the peanut sauce to cut down on calories and it was still tastee.  Cabbage… who knew it had so many uses?  Next week I might try scrubbing the tile grout with the stuff.  I’ll let you know how it turns out!

Question of the Day:  Do you like cabbage?  Any favorite cabbage recipes?  

 

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Extreme Fajiters…

Go Tell Aunt Rhody.  Go Tell Rhody.  Go Tell Aunt Rhody, the old gray goose is dead.  What a depressing song… and it’s for kids?  Hey Rhody… your dagnabbed gray goose is road kill… let’s sing an upbeat happy song about it and then we’ll roast her up for dinner with some fingerling potatoes and a nice green salad.  Meanwhile, back here in the land where my gray goose is alive and well, but imaginary, here are a few of my favorite meals from last week!

This happens to be my new most favoritest-est-est-est-est way to make scrambled eggs/egg beaters/egg whites.  Add one more -est to that word!  It gives the eggs so much flavor.  Cook up the scrambled egg/egg beaters/egg whites in the pan as usual.  When they are done, keep the pan on and add some salsa (I used 1 Tblsp. here, but go crazy).  Then, mix the salsa into the egg/egg beater/egg white and let it cook until the salsa is warm and it gets a bit crusty on the bottom.  HOT DOGS IN A CONVENT that’s good… and I ain’t just saying that to suck up to the convent hot dogs.

I bawled my way through a few episodes of Extreme Makeover:  Weight Loss Edition a few weeks back… like ugly bawled… not just regular bawled.  I may or may not have been PMSing at the time.  Through my ugly bawling spree, the healthy chef lady from the fat farm was teaching us how to make shrimp fajitas, healthily.  Darn tootin’.  I decided I was going to jump on the fajita train and make the special Whitney version of the recipe.  It’s special on account of the fact that I didn’t follow anything her recipe said because I had zero of the ingredients she wanted me to have, so I invented this here recipe… and I gotta say… not to toot my own horn or anything, it was the best plate of fajitas I’d had… heatlhy or not so healthy.  The trick was in marinating the vegetables for an hour or 2 before cooking them.  For anyone interested, allow me to type up my Extreme Fajiter recipe!

Whitney’s Extreme Fajitas

1/2 cup unsweetened pineapple juice
1/8 cup lemon juice
1 medium onion peeled and cut into strips
1 red bell pepper cut into strips
1 green bell pepper (or yellow or orange) cut into strips
1/2 cup pineapple tidbits
2 garlic cloves, minced
2 tsp. cumin powder
2 tsp. chili powder
salt and pepper to taste

Combine all ingredients.  Let sit in fridge to marinate for at least 1 hour.  Remove vegetables and place in bowl.  Add reserved marinade to saucepan and heat until boiling. Then reduce heat and simmer 5 minutes, set aside.  Add drained vegetables to pan.  Cook until onions are translucent, about 5 minutes.  Toss with reserved marinade and heat through.  Serve with warmed tortillas and cheese and tomatoes and pinto beans and corn or whatever other toppings your precious heart desires!  For serious!

The reason it was yummy?  The sweet mixed with the heat mixed with the vegetables… and the marinading portion.  Glorious!  I’m sure you could just as easily add chicken or beef or shrimp to this… no problemo at all!

What did I say about fall bringing the pumpkin to the forefront?  It’s squash… squash is a vegetable… I hate the texture of squash… unless you add delectabilities to it!  This here is a low-calorie single-serving pumpkin pie!!  Under 150 calories per serving and it isn’t even Thanksgiving yet!  I didn’t have all the stuff they wanted for the crust, so I just used crushed up graham crackers and it turned out fine.  I also didn’t make the topping they suggested and just plopped some lite cool whip on the top.  Maybe I’ll make this for Thanksgiving at the old folks home!  They’ll thank me later for adding 2 hours to their life span!

Question of the Day:  What is your favorite Mexican food?  

PS – Thank you all sweet people for the great advice and replies to yesterday’s post.  You all sure know how to put a gal at ease… and you can be sure I’m going to look into each and every piece of that advice! 

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Food… Such a Dumb Word For Such a Glorious Invention…

I get into these lame-bot cycles where I get a word in my head that I analyze to death until I want to poke one or more eyeballs out in frustration… but that’s nothing like the times where I narrate every move I make in my head like I’m writing a mystery novel.  I carefully made my way out of the shower and carefully dried myself off with my yellow fluffy towel.  Carefully seems to be my favorite adjective in these head-space novels of mine.  I didn’t say anyone would want to read this mystery novel.  I might want to read it, though, after I’ve finished poking my eyeballs out and roasting them amidst the embers of above-mentioned mystery novel.

This week’s word has been food (unlike every other week where it’s usually foooooooodddd) …  say it outloud?  Food.  What a dumb word.  It doesn’t sound at all appetizing and it rhymes with words I’d rather not think about when I’m eating.  Food food food food food… EW.  I prefer the Spanish equivalent… comida.  That sounds much more romantic and not as dumb… and I’ve yet to rhyme it with anything gross.  The only bad part of this situation is the extent of my Spanish language knowledge (even after 3 years of Spanish in school) is pretty much counting, hello, goodbye, and comida.  My conversational skillz would be only beneficial if I happened to be an elevator operator… I’d have to learn how to say which floor… but after that… total cake walk!

Whitney… carefully shut up and carefully display this week’s 1500-calorie food menu, pictures, and calories… but carefully:

Breakfast (Peachy oatmeal muffin, egg beaters, reduced fat cheese, salsa, and bing cherries… Total calories:  267)

The egg beater people came out with a brand spanking new flavor of flavored egg whites… holy laws, hold me back Lucretia!!  It’s three-cheese Egg Beaters… 25 calories for 3 Tblsp… I doubled it and went for 6 Tblsp. because I totes live on the edge of life… but carefully.  Recipe for peach-oatmeal muffins, which are major tastee… and I substituted the 1 cup of milk for 1 cup of almond milk because almond milk has a naturally sweet flavor and has less calories!   Oh, and I totally skipped the cooking the peaches in sugar and butter portion because heck if I’m calorizing… I just threw the plain peaches on the top of the muffins before cooking… voila.  You can also wrap these babies up and freeze them… take them out one at a time and micro-oven them fore a few seconds.  They last longer that way!

Meal #2: (Moo Shu Vegetables, flour tortillas, and grape tomaters… Total Calories:  392)

My pal (what up, Alena) tipped me off to Moo Shu vegetables at Mandarin Gardens (a restaurant here in town)… I’d never eaten them before and I do enjoy them heartily.  So, I thought I’d attempt my own version… but using broccoli slaw, mung bean sprouts, scallions, and eggs.  Hoisin sauce, rice vinegar, garlic, and soy sauce give it the flavor of China… except not really the sewer flavor.  Oh boy… I’m really talking these up with all this Chinese sewer talk.  They are good… moving on.  Recipe for Moo Shu veggies

Meal #3: (Veggie & Cheese Bagel… Total Calories:  304)

I modified this recipe from Pioneer Woman for the Veggie and Cheese bagel… because… again… calorizing.  Instead of cream cheese, I used spreadable laughing cow cheese and instead of a real bagel I used one of those 110-calorie Thomas bagel thins.  I used the meunster and cheddar cheese, but had to half the slices.  Tastee… refreshing… summery… make me another one!

Dinner:  (Easy Veggie Pizza Roll… Total Calories:  334)

Mine turned out to be less of a ring and more of an oblongato shape… when you use a rectangular pan there is no way to make it circular shaped… just deal!  This was mightee tastee too and easy as peas in two pods of vinegar.  Obviously, this is not a serving size… This is:

Recipe for easy veggie pizza oblongato-shape…  Of course hers is prettier… who do you think I am?  Martha Stewart!?!?!?!?

Dessert:  (1 cup sugar-free black cherry Jell-O, 3 ounces strawberries, and 4 Tblsp. lite Cool Whip… Total Calories:  87)

Stop with your Jell-O is made of horse hooves talk.  It’s the official comida of Utah and don’t you forget it.  We consume it by the barrel full… my gram got real creative-like with hers… she put anything she had leftover in the vegetable crisper in a batch of Jell-O and called it a smorgasbord fit for a king!  This really hit the spot for me… and I couldn’t even tell it was sugar-free with the strawberries and the cool whip masking it.

TOTAL CALORIES FOR THE DAY:  1384

I really liked all of these meals individually and I’d make them all again in a heart beat.  I’d probably not do them all together on the same day again in the future because all together, I was over my sodium for the day… and I be trying to watch that.  I blame the soy sauce and hoisin sauce… sodium hoggers!  If you could care less about coming in under sodium, which is pretty much everyone I know… go hog wild and eat 2 of each meal… but only if you’re aiming for 2800 calories per day… my lucky metabolism kings!   Still a lot of food for very few calories.  I was totally not wanting for anything extra… but carefully!

Question of the Day:  Do you like sugar-free Jell-O?  What do you eat with yours?  

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