Category Archives: Restaurants

Do You Wanna Hang Out and Watch Paint Dry?

I would describe myself (especially in the past) as somewhat socially awkward.  Pretty sure it stems from the fact that I had absolutely zilch confidence or self esteem, so why the heck would anyone want to hang out with me?  Nothing I had to say was worth hearing.  At one point I actually felt sorry for the people who had to spend time with me… what a boringly uninteresting individual!  That would explain why in social situations I would keep to myself, have a hard time making eye contact with anyone, and if I wasn’t making some sort of lame joke, I wasn’t talking… especially about myself.  I HATE talking about myself (which is quite ironic since I seem to have diarrhea of the mouth or fingers, in this instance, on this here blog).

I’ve gained a LOT of confidence over the last 2 years as I’ve been losing weight… A LOT!  I would never, ever venture to invite someone to do something with me before.  I didn’t want them to have to “be nice” and say yes just because they didn’t want to hurt my feelings.  The last few months, I’ve been busy socially.  Busier than I have ever been in the past.  I’ve met blog readers for the first time (what up Bridgett, Katrina, and Dorothy), attended family events (howdy Aunt Deanna, Uncle Max, Seth, Jen-Jen, and fam), been to several dinners and movies with friends (yo yo Tia, Karrie, Rachel, and Amy), had actual conversations with neighbors, and just have shown my big head (no matter how much weight I lose, I will always be big-headed… it’s in the genes) at places it never would have graced in the past.

I’m sure I’m still as awkward as one of them 3-horned potatoes on a turnip truck, but I think it’s good to have practice… and I find that I’m not as frenetic and always-thinking-of-the-next-joke-to-get-out-of-having-a-serious-conversation-because-I’m-not-bright-enough-to-say-anything-smart way of thinking.  So, friends… thanks for putting up with this ole broad.  I’m a work in progress, but give me approximately 32 more years and I should have it down pat!

Question of the Day:  On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you grade yourself socially?  Why do you say that?

Picture Note:  Tonight’s dinner with MFP pal, Dorothy…  It was so dagnabbed good I almost ate the pineapple shell…. Vegetable fried rice in a pineapple shell… who knew how tasty that would be?


Filed under Nonscale Victories, Restaurants

Plateau Scaling, NSVs, and Hookers…

Put the phone down, Ma… I ain’t becoming a hooker… but boy was that an attention grabber or what!?!?  I know how to bring in the crowds.  From now on out you all might want to just take a nap… WARNING:  Major nonsensical babbling ahead… watch out for mind numbing boredom and the urge to turn off your computer!  Commence! 

I talked about a weight gain I had of 3 pounds about 3 weeks ago.  Since then I’ve been recycling those same 3 pounds week in and week out during plateau number 4 billion 85 million 620 thousand 2 hundred and 22 (that’s the way they wrote the numbers back in the olden days when my folks were born… KIDDING!!!  Put the phone down again, Ma!)  I’m learning to just ignore a plateau and press on… put my shoulder to the wheel and push along… because like I’ve said 8 billion times before… this is a lifestyle… NOT a “die”t!  Counting calories, moving, eating chocolate, punching Gunther in the gut, eating more chocolate, and did I mention watching the Food Network 5 hours a day?  Mmmmmm… food….   Meanwhile… how would I go about just moving into Rachael Ray’s refrigerator… because seriously… girl pulls out all sorts of food from that thing… I’ll trade her for my moldy bag of lettuce and Energizer battery.  Meal idea… Energizer salad… a salad that keeps going and going and going! 

I’m happy to say that as of yesterday the plateau has been scaled (take that and smoke it, Reginald!)… took 3 weeks of pushing along, but when I stepped on the scale yesterday morning, I’d lost the 3 pounds I’d gained 3 weeks prior PLUS another 2.6 pounds… almost 6 pounds.  What did I tell you… sit down, shut up, and keep on walking… the plateau will eventually right itself if you are watching calories and moving.  It’s simple math, people!  No rocket science here… just a lot of patience practicing. 

Meanwhile, in my new found world of stopping to savor all the little moments, it’s NSV (nonscale victory) time!  This weekend I met up with some long lost cousins (what up Oprah… bwahahahaha, that joke never gets old in my noggin… errrrr… I mean Jacque, Meg, and Tanner) and we lunched it up!  I picked the place and since Logan has approximately 3 restaurants that aren’t named McDonald’s, I picked the one that had just opened and I’d never been to! 

Obviously, y’all… just from the name alone I know they have pizza… and that’s about it.  So, we get there and it’s a BUFFET!  Like an all-you-can-eat buffet (dude, why didn’t they have the Biggest Loser event at this joint)… but it’s totally okay… no freaking out on my end because I’m a pro and I can handle this.  My buffet menu before would have been 20 pieces of each of the 10 different pizza flavors, a sample of each of the 8 different pastas and sauces, and one of each of the desserts… oh, and the salad bar would have been 3 sprigs of lettuce, 2 tons of ham, 3 truckloads of cheese, and enough Ranch dressing to change the name of the Sahara Desert to the Ranch Dressing Lake.  I had a plan this time… it’s a plan that has been set in advance for any surprise eating environment… load up on vegetables at the salad bar first, vinagrette dressing on the side… you can pick ONE entree from the main dishes and one dessert.  Easy peasy.  I had me a big ole veggie salad with raspberry vinagrette on the side, whole wheat penne pasta with marinara sauce, one sliver-like cheese breadstick, and half a piece of their peach/cinnamon pizza.. and BAM… I’m out of there for under 600 calories… didn’t even have to use the wheelbarrow to wheel my butt out the door this time.   

For those who live in Logan… I would totally recommend the joint.  The food was really good and for $6.99 per person for all-you-can-eat… how can you go wrong?  Get up an eating plan first, though… otherwise, the help will need to roll your rear out the door.  I’m ready to go again… who wants to join me?

Oh, I almost forgot… I have yet to talk about hookers (children 16 and under… AVERT YOUR EYES!):   

This here is the sign that I drove by on my way to school every. single. day…. 6th grade through 12th grade… and every single day I laugh to this day… because I still have the sense of humor of a 13-year-old girl (please… like I’m the only one).  Who knew the hookers here in the Valley were so friendly?  I’m just saying I could hook y’all up!

Question of the Day:  What’s your plan when you go out to eat or to a potluck? 



Filed under Calorizing, Nonscale Victories, Restaurants

The Day I Got Kicked Out of Golden Corral!!!

Sacrilege!!  I just got kicked the heck out of my former place of worship… an all-you-can-eat buffet!  I aim to take this all the way to the Supreme Court if I have to!!  You bet your bottom dollar, Annie!  Thou shalt not tear they Whitney away from thy dessert buffet.   I’m guessing that I maybe need to back the gravy train up here before I call my attorney and everything (Robert J. DeBry and Associates).  

It turns out that some of this season’s Biggest Loser peeps were coming to Logan for a meet and greet type of thing.  This would totally be way unusual for a small town like ours, but it just so happens that 2 of this year’s contestants live and have a gym in this town, Rulon and Justin.  We just don’t get things like this in Logan… Salt Lake City, maybe… but Logan usually gets the 2nd cousin twice removed of the uncle’s dog’s friend’s sister’s neighbor’s pet parakeet who just happens to live next door to Oprah Winfrey (what up, Oprah).  So, we obviously couldn’t pass up the opportunity to gawk at people from reality TV. 

Of all places to hold a stinking meet and greet for people trying to lose hundreds of pounds… how about Golden Corral!?  BRILLIANT, SHERLOCK!  Now, go put in an order for extra lard sauce!  That’s like holding an Alcoholic’s Anonymous meeting at the State Liquor Store.  STEW – PID… give the team member who came up with that idea a raise!  Being the uber responsible (and frankly mega uptight) person that I am, I called Golden Corral in advance to get the 411 on the event.  I asked very specific questions… does it cost to get in… the answer was no… not unless you want to eat.  Obviously a bonus for this girl because I’m sure I could do some calorizing damage at a buffet!

I went with 2 friends (what up, Oprah… errr… I mean Karrie and Rachel) and the Madre.  We get there and it’s pretty much packed… like fire hazard packed.  There is no signage anywhere at the entrance about this Biggest Loser Meet and Greet… so, we just mosey on through the exit hallway into the throng of people.  Kaylee is the first one we come across… we just sort of make small talk and ask her the same questions I’m sure she’s been asked approximately 3 billion times by now… but she seemed nice enough.  Then we wander (by wander, I really mean stand still until the throng of people moves an inch) around and see Courtney (LOVE Courtney)… we make some more small talk with her and get a picture… sadly the camera person (Oprah… errr… Madre) didn’t know how to work my camera and so Courtney stood there for 5 minutes with her arms around us smiling at the camera… totally got in her workout for the day. 

 Then we move 2 inches more and find a corner that isn’t as thronged.  An uptight dude wearing a GC shirt comes up to us and asks if we bought dinner there.  Uh… no… Then he proceeded to flip a lid about how this wasn’t a free outing and that if we wanted to talk to the contestants, we’d have to buy dinner for $20.  We proceeded to tell him about my previous conversation with one of his employees the day before where I was told it was free… and then he proceeded to spout steam out of his ears and tell us that no one told us that.  Okay… yes… you are right… I am dumb and deaf and you are obviously a man of superior intelligence.  I felt sorry for him because it was like someone kicked his trike in the ditch, peed in his Cheerios, and gave him a wedgie all in the same day!!  Can you even imagine!!?!? 

So, we had to leave… but on the way out, we ran into Arthur (who just happened to be blocking the exit) and got a picture and autograph from him!  Score it!  We also saw Sara, Justin, Austin, Moses and the new trainer Bret, but weren’t about to pay money for Lard City Central just to talk to them. 

Picture time… (I may be sued for these pictures because I got them without eating a tray of fried chicken)!

The curly-haired dude is Austin... he was looking super fit!

Rachel, Courtney, and I... I was obviously trying to instruct the novice camera person... thus the wierd face.

Rachel, Arthur, and I... my shoes only added 4 inches to my already monstrous height!

Extra bonus… the card Arthur gave us with his before and after pictures!

Golden Corral… you just lost your former best paying customer!  Take that and smoke it for dinner.  Also… GC dude with the perma-wedgie… would totally like to invite you to my dinner party next Saturday… main dishes will include cow dung coleslaw and chocolate-covered cockroaches!  Call me! 

Question of the Day:  Do you watch Biggest Loser this season?  Who is your favorite?  Also, what do you think of Golden Corral?   😛



Filed under Food, Inspirational TV, Restaurants


You’ll probably hear a lot of “Whitney word inventions” on this here blog.  When I can’t find an acceptable word that describes what I’m thinking, I make one up.  Y’all stay posted for when the 1st Edition of “Whitney Blathers Aimlessly About Nothing Dictionary” (or WBAAND for short) hits the shelves.  I’m aiming for a release date in the year 2049 (fingers crossed!)  Mark yer calendars, folks! 

So, since I’ve banished the word “die”t and no one else has come up with a suitable word to describe what I’m doing, I came up with calorizing!  It’s sort of like a conglomeration of calories, downsizing, and exercising all rolled up into a tiny little ball… if it were any cuter, I’d have to tie a bow around it and call it thumpers!  Now to come up with the definition… downsizing calorie intake while still eating chocolate and moving more… and then eating more chocolate!  Y’all… stamp that sold and send it to the printer! 

Now that I’m calorizing, restaurants have become trickier, but not impossible… gracious providence, no.  Save up my calories by eating sensibly during the day, and I can splurge a little at night (and if you exercise at some point during restaurant day, you have those extra exercise calories, see… and my Kindergarten teacher wanted to hold me back a year!)  Tonight, I cleaned up the mother and we headed to dinner.  After 45 minutes of the following conversation:

Indecisive Madre:  Where do you want to go to dinner?
Indecisive Whitney:  I don’t know… where do you want to go to dinner?
Indecisive Madre:  How about… I don’t know… where do you want to go?

You get the picture… them indecisive genes that woman provided really do stick!  We finally ran out of gas in the parking lot of “Firehouse Pizzeria,” so that made the decision for us.  Thank goodness for small gas tanks or we might have made it to the McDonald’s in Washington D.C. 

After finally picking the place, the menu selection had to be easier, right!?  Thankfully, the menu writers provided me with a handy dandy tool: 

See that fancy little heart in the bottom middle… that’s pretty much a win for we calorizers! 

I finally settled on a selection with a little heart AND a little fire next to it… does that mean it guarantees heartburn (bwahahahahaha… I slay me)?  Only time will tell.  Marinated Pinoli Pasta… no heavy creams, meat, or cheese overload, so guaranteed to be lower in the calorie department.  I also had to indulge and order some of the cheese foccacia… because, seriously… it’s a crime to go to Firehouse Pizzeria and walk out without the Foccacia! 

The glorious foccacia bread... oh laws... I can't even!


Main dish... the white stuff is bird droppings... KIDDING... it's fresh mozzarella

I gotta say… heartburn aside, I did enjoy my heart healthy meal.  While it was still more calories than I’d normally eat for a dinner, you gotta enjoy the LONG journey and splurge every once in a while… keeps you somewhat sane (family… you can keep the when were you ever sane comments to yourselves!)

As I was walking out of the restaurant, I had to snap a picture of what my order would have been 3 years ago:

Yes… that does say 36 inches… Yes, that does say MONSTER pizza… and yes, you do get free pizza for a year if you and a friend can eat the whole dang thing!  We Americans do not have a problem… goodness gracious, no… what gave you that idea!?   Meanwhile… I wonder how many years that thing would last in the freezer… if I ate a piece a day, I could still calorize and eat my pizza too! 

Question of the Day:  What is your biggest challenge when “calorizing” at restaurants?




Filed under Food, Restaurants