Category Archives: Shopping

What The!?!?

I started this post at 3:30 in the morning… I’m tired… I’m cranky… and I swear I just broke my toe when I dropped a bottle of shower cleaner onto it.  It’s already turned a nice purpley bluey color.  I’m hoping to coordinate my socks to match… that way if I have a hole in one of my socks, no one will be the wiser.  I tell you… them’s are the reasons my folks should have named me Brilli, middle name:  Ance… Brilli Ance.   Meanwhile… this little piggy done cried wah, wah, wah all the way home!

The other day I was grocery shopping.  That’s totes normal.  I bought me some food and some more food… and rounded that out with some food.  That’s totally normal.  Then, I took my bags out to put them in my Beulah the Buick vehicular contraption.  All the way normal.  As I was putting my groceries into the trunk, I felt an eery feeling… you know like you get when someone is staring at you.  I turned to see this:

Uhhh… that would not be normal.  What in the Sam Hill beans is my friend, Claude’s head doing duct taped to the hood of a car.  I think that pretty much explains the chronic headache right there!  My first thought:  Wow… duct tape is really multipurposeful.   Does that mean I’ve officially joined the psychiatric unit support group?  It’s about dang time!

Note:  If you haven’t entered yesterday’s drawing for the Shut Up and Sweat T-shirt, there’s still time.  I will pick a winner on Thursday night!  Do eet!

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… And Then There Was Day 2…

Day 2 of what?  Mini vacation Whitney time… DUH!  I am reliving my childhood by using the word “duh” so much.  I think that was my top one word growing up.  Because obvs when you are between the ages of 11 and 18, you are the all knowing globulation of cells and brainpower and pretty much everyone else is a bunch of clueless mudsuckers without a brain cell to be found.  OBVS!!  And then one day you get smacked in the head with a baseball bat (thank you, world) and you come to your senses and realize how truly clueless you really are.  That was a glorious day if I remember it right… all-you-can-eat chocolate buffet on that there day… and by buffet, I really mean any leftover stale Halloween/Christmas/Easter candy I had stashed underneath my bed.

Moving on… day 2 of Whitney’s mini vacation time was not exciting as day one… but that’s just because a big part of it included shopping for a certain womanly support undergarment (you can thank me later for being so subtle, men).  So, bra shopping (oops) SUCKS!!  I hate it with the passion of 5000000000000 burning summer suns.  I had pretty much been into every store down at this end of the world, trying on, tugging on, scrunching on, blah, blah, blah… every single last garment known to man!  And the ones that fit I hated because they were too itchy or too diggy or too wirey and on and on and on.  I came up with an excuse why I hated every last one of those things… I think one of my excuses was that the color clashed with my irises.  You try wearing something no one will see when it clashes with your irises… I rest my case.

So, because this valley failed to produce what I needed and I was desparately in need of smaller-sized support, I had to venture down South to Salt Lake City area stores.  I know what you’re thinking… if you hate shopping for those things so dagnabbed much, why don’t you just buy the ones that fit and get it over with?  Um, obviously you ain’t ever been a woman… sit down and be quiet until you grow an ovary.  😛  Meanwhile, back in PMS land…

I ventured in to Lane Bryant aka we’ll give you 2 pieces of clothing for the price of your first born child store… why the crimeny puffs is everything so expensive in there!?!?  Seriously, I picked up this tank top with approximately 2 inches of fabric and they wanted 50 bucks for that thing!?!?!  Seriously!?!?!   Hi, my name is Whitney and I only buy things if they are on the clearance rack with an extra 95% off at Walrus World.  Of course the shop girls at such stores are never annoying… every 5 seconds a new one was asking me if I needed any help and/or if I wanted to be measured for an undergarment.  Uhhhhh… did Jack Kevorkian love funerals?  HECK TO THE NO on that one.  I’ll just go with my usual illy-fitting number and keep my dignity.  It’s a miracle I managed to walk out of that place with some undergarment purchases in hand, 5 sizes smaller than the ones I have at home in my drawer.  We’ll see how long it takes before I return them.  It’s 2 different things trying the things on for 5 seconds and wearing them for 16 hours… I’ll let you know on hour 5 if it was a success or not.

Question of the Day:  What item of clothing do you most hate shopping for?  Why?

We stopped at Lindsay’s on the way home, just so she could show us how good she was at hefting up Mr. Harley Butterball… he was kind of pissed off because he couldn’t reach his food dish up that high.  I don’t blame you, Butterball… I don’t blame you one bit!

I was camera-less on a bike ride tonight when I saw this rainbow, so I had to call dad and make him got out rainbow hunting with camera in hand… thanks, dad!

 

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