Tag Archives: Airport

Excuse You… That Is NOT A Weapon… and Giveaway Winners!

First things first… as promised, the announcement of the TWO extremely prestigious and high brow winners of my Biggest Geezer Loser Dessert Cookbook Giveaway will be announced right now (try saying that sentence 8 times with a mouth full of saltines).  No joking around up in these parts.  I assigned everyone who entered a number… 1 to 20 (those who entered via the blog and FB got themselves TWO numbers) and then I went to the website random.org and had them generate me 2 lucky numeros.  The winners…. drum roll… have you ever noticed that people who wear socks with sandals also tend to wear knee high socks with shorts (hi dad)?

Deanna V. (as in Victor)

and 

Erinn D.

Baby circles!!  Congratulations you two!  If y’all two wouldn’t mind sending me your shipping address to whitney78@gmail.com, it would be a whole lot more accurate than using my psychotic skillz to think up your pad numbers… just trust me on that front.  I ain’t no Sylvia Browne.

*********

Secondly… HI!  Long time no talk.  Though, I’m sure most of you may have felt a sense of relief not having to read my rambling nonsensicalness on a daily basis.  I know I did!!  And that be the truth!  I accomplished quite a bit this last week… and I only got arrested once… out of twelve possible times!  I’d say that’s some good odds right there.  I’ll probably use most of this week to spell out what went down last week… and I’m sure no one gives a whipper snapper what went down this past week, but I’m a future Alzheimer Patient All-Star, so I always have to have my happenings writ down somewheres.  Just so one day I can look back at it and be like… who’s Whitney and what the helium balloon is she blabbering about?

I had to get up at butt o’clock in the morning to drive the 90 miles to the airport to board the plane.  Butt o’clock is hecka early in case you aren’t familiar with it… wayyyyy before 10:00… I’m just saying.  I think I ran on approximately 2 hours of sleep the whole week.  There’s no time to sleep when you have things to do!

The airport… definitely not my favorite place to hang out.  Strip searching is always something I look forward to… you get a hold of one of my luxuriously soft fat flabs and you’ll want to nap for 8 days straight!  That’s what happened.  One of my worst fears going through the security check point at the airport.  The lady had to pat down my fat flabs.  I guess she thought I’d stuffed a weapon up one of them… or a kilo of marijuana.  What do you look at when that’s going on anyway?  It’s so awkward and embarrassing and frankly my personal space half-acre bubble will never be the same!  I exaggerate… it was awkward, but not as horrible as I’d built it up in my brain to be.  I always plan for the worst, so that way I can be pleasantly surprised if it’s only half as horrid as I’d thunk up.

Owing to my trip in October of last year to the East coast where I was unable to fit between the 2 arms of the plane seat, I once again planned on 2 plane seats.  The bane of my existence does NOT like to share it’s half acre space.  I was hugely disappointed when I flew in October and wasn’t able to put the seat arm down.  I’m proud to say that this time… SUCCESS!!!  I haven’t lost much if any poundage since October of last year, but that is not the only way to measure success.  Even if the scale hadn’t been going down, the middle portion was shrinking.  I think next time I could do with one seat… although, I’ll probably still try the 2 seat thing because it’s awesome to be able to have breathing room.  I ain’t gonna lie.  Claustrophobia is issue number 34894894u19unfafla on my issue list.

NSVs all over the place… and it isn’t even 8:00 yet!  I’m out.  More about day 1 manana!  Have a fabulous Monday, my pals!

Question of the Day:  Which seat do you prefer when flying… window or aisle or middle?  Have you ever had to be patted down through the security check point?  

PS – Happy Birthday to my sweet cuzzin, Jen-Jen!!  Have a great day, Bill Nye the Science Guy!  😛

Advertisements

11 Comments

Filed under Getting A Life, Giveaway

Day 9: And Then She Shut Up… Wrap It Up!

We woke up on day 9 determined to get in one last quick adventure before we had to be at the Boston Logan Airport to catch our plane back to reality land.  I wanted to go see the Salem witch trial stuffs, but instead we finally settled on checking out The House of Seven Gables or at least the house that was the inspiration for the novel by Nathaniel Hawthorne, he who also wrote The Scarlet Letter.   I’ve read the latter book, but had never read the former one… that will change after this visit as I had to buy the book in the gift shop…  you bet your sweet bippy!

It was another grey and rainy day… umbrella worthy, but the house was totes neat… complete with a hidden staircase, which we got to walk up… I would not have fit up that staircase 227 pounds ago… no question about it.

We also saw Nathaniel Hawthorne’s birthplace and found out interesting facts about the author… like the fact that he basically lived as a hermit, shut off from the world for years, while he mastered his writing craft.   Ironically, I was shut off from the world for years, but the only thing I mastered was eating a large Hawaiian Pizza in one sitting.  Y’all, that should be a profession!  I win!

We then headed to the airport and to drop off our trusty stained seat Kia Sorento.  Bye, Kia.  It was a good thing we arrived 2 hours before our flight because the ticket desk had a line 5 miles long with 2 people working it.  We barely made it before the flight deadline and had to pick up our tickets at the gate.  Laws… girl with anxiety issues coming through!  We had another layover in Chicago, which was only made longer when we learned that our connecting flight was delayed by hours due to rainy weather!  The Wicked Witch of the West was right… I’m melting…  This was Madre’s reaction when she learned we’d have to sit at the airport for even longer:

It probably didn’t help that I was telling her to smile and the airport was undergoing construction so the Internet was out and there was no power to plug in her phone.  By the time we arrived in Salt Lake City and then drove the 90 miles home, it was around 2ish in the morning or 4ish back East.

To wrap it all up… I could not have done any of this trip 2 years ago.   Stamp it, guarantee it, and then deliver it to Hades.  Could NOT have.  Between the walking and the walking and the walking, oh and the fitting into booths and chairs with arms on them and did I mention walking?  There would have been absolutely no way I could have done it.  I would have had to rent myself a fork lift, a Jazzy scooter, and a vile of Valium.  Changing my life has really opened so many more doors and windows for me… literally.  No longer do I feel like my only chance of a good time is if there happened to be a Christmas Story Marathon on TNT one weekend or if the local burger joint started making deliveries.   Hard work… WORTH IT.  Worth every dagblasted frustrating minute of the last 2 years.  You best believe it.

Question of the Day:  Where was the last big trip you took? 

Note:  Thanks for sticking with me whilst I blabbered on about pretty much nothing for the last few weeks.  It will be good to have my memories down in writing for when I get Alzheimer disease next year and can’t remember which hand is right and which is left.

26 Comments

Filed under Tripping 2011: New England