Tag Archives: attitude

Twelve Layers Of Support and A Positive Attitude…

I feel about 105 today… give or take 20 years.  I’m guessing it’s because I haven’t drunk enough Diet Dr. Pepper… either that or I’m getting old.  You know it’s super lame when you get to brag about shoulder bursitis (it hurts), elbow tendonitis, and sharp knee pain when taking the stairs or general bending of said appendage… then there’s the stiff neck and back issue from too much slumping over the computer at work.  Is this what it’s like to be 105?  I’m starting early.  I could go on but then what am I going to talk about whilst sitting on my porch in a rocking chair 45 years from now?  Gotta save some of the good stuff for Pearl and Merle to commiserate with.

It’s when I get to grumbling that I remember the Sam’s Club lady and have to snap myself out of it.  Who is the Sam’s Club lady you ask?  Every Saturday I drop by the club… I love their produce and I always have to buy a container of their cherub tomatoes, strawberries, and whatever other vegetable or fruit happens to be on my weekly menu.  Saturday is sample day… that is if you don’t mind elbowing a few 95-year-olds to get to the last vegetarian chicken patty sample.  There’s one sample lady I look forward to every week.  You can hear her from a mile away, her spiel is always the same… Come try some… it is sooooooooooo yummy! Such a good price!  Picture that said by a darling little Asian lady.  She says that over and over and over.  She is genuinely excited about whatever she gets to sample… even if she’s stuck sampling dog biscuits or frozen brussel sprouts.  I usually end up buying whatever she has to sample because I’m a pushover (I don’t know what the helium balloon I’m going to do with 800 dog biscuits… they’re kind of dry. 😛 ) and apparently you can sell me on positive influence.  This past Saturday she was sampling some hideously disgusting barley salad.  The ingredients were fine and dandy… it was the dressing they put on said ingredients… but I still told her it tasted yummy… because I’m jellyfish-spined like that.  No barley salad entered my cart this week… I’m pretty impressed at my resistance!


In other news… the dancing update.  The sweet choreographer for Mary Poppins has finally taken pity on us (I’m pretty sure I was a big reason for said pity) and she has modified the final bow dance I’ve been practicing for the last 2+ months.  The dance is still super uber fast, but compared to the non-modified version, it is MUCH easier to get in… MUCH.  The only problem, I feel like that kid on A Christmas Story bundled up in the snowsuit when I go to dance practice.  These flabs could seriously wound my surrounding competition (let’s face it… we’re competing for arm flailing space).  It is quite the production… twelve layers of support and a built-in heater, which of course is wayyyyyyy too hot to be moving around vigorously in.  I’m already sweating by the time I get there… and then I go home looking like a sewer rat.  The alternative is too gory to think about… imagine the casualties!  Died whilst being flabbulated to death!  I don’t want that responsibility… hear!?

Tyler was born to play Bert… he’s the next Dick Van Dyke… but with a better name!  😛

PS – Have any of you dealt with shoulder tendonitis/bursitis?  Do you have any tried and true remedies?  I’ll do anything, including rubbing said shoulder with cow intestines (JUST KIDDING… nevermind that idea)!


Filed under Life

The Changing of the ‘Tude…

I’m resurrecting my LIST… when I say I’m going to finish something, come drowned rats and beatle bugs, I’m going to finish something.

Make two lists: one of things you can change and another of things you can’t. 
For the list of things that you can change, write beneath each item what steps you can take to make that change. 
For the list of things you can’t change, acknowledge why you can’t change them and accept why.

I’m starting off with things I can change because the list is much shorter and since I’m smart I always take the easy way out first.

Things I Can Change


The end…

That pretty much sums it all up… if I change my attitude and the way I approach what I want to accomplish there ain’t nothing I can’t do.  I’ve had to beat this into my head every single day over the last few years and still there are many days or weeks or months I forget this and resort back to my self-pitying corner of despair and low self esteemness… and that’s when I stall.  I believe I should always be moving forward in some aspect of my life… that’s what I done be here for… to gather up knowledge and live life to the fullest.  Contrary to popular belief from Whitney of the Past, my soul purpose on this Earth was to sit on my duffitude and pick at my nostrils whilst downing a whole deep dish pizza.  Ooo… do you want to know what I did back in the old days when I didn’t want any evidence of my pizza downing and needed to hide it from the family?  I’d deconstruct the pizza box… cut it up into tiny, tiny pieces and hide the pieces in a big ole black garbage sack tied up into several knots and then stuffed down into the bottom of the garbage can outside.  There… out of sight… out of mind… According to the 48 Hours Mystery show I watched the other day, that one serial killer dude used to do that too… except not with pizza boxes.


So, Whitney… keep reminding yourself that there is nothing you can’t do because there isn’t… although, winning the lottery may be totes out of my hands.  I’m talking about the things within my control here… gosh… work with me, people!

Things I Can’t Change

– My height… unless someone wants to come out here and remove a few vertebrae in the ole’ back… volunteers?
– My Family… unless someone wants to adopt me into theirs?  JOKES, family… geez… get off the ledge!
– My looks… get used to the big head, Whitney… you be in for a long life together… unless Joan Rivers happens to be offering a free plastic head removal.
– The fact that I love Chocolate… sorry… it’s been ingrained in all the vital organs and other miscellaneous crevices of my body.  Who would want to change that?!?!?!?  Are you crazy!?!?

The list of things I can’t change is pretty short… and I’m pretty much at peace with all those things… mmmm… chocolate… All the rest of the stuff, totally doable.  Put that big noggin of yours to work, Whitney… you have some things to accomplish!!


Question of the Day:  What are some things you want to change about yourself? 



Filed under The List

Whitney’s Playlist Wednesday – Good Life…

Ask anyone who knows me well (all 2 people) and they’ll tell you I’m the queen of sarcasm!  Like, if there was a sarcastic person convention, I would be the club president.  Kind of like the “Hair Club For Men” but for sarcastic people… with and without hair follicles.  I think there is a place for sarcasm… in a teasing sort of way… and I have a dagnabbed blast with that kind of sarcasm; sparring back and forth with my sarcastic buddies (holla… you know who you are)!  But then there’s the brand of sarcasm that can also make a person very cynical and ugly and hateful and negative.  I’ve had that brand of sarcasm before.  For most of my life, I can’t ever say that I saw the glass half full… it was more all the way empty, crushed by a giant flat-footed Gildabeast, and then served at the local diner masquerading as Oatmeal.  Mmmm… shardy.       

I can guarantee you the reason I was so sarcastic and negative and hateful was because I didn’t like myself nor the life I was making for myself.  My hateful brand of sarcasm was a defense mechanism to hide that fact.  I think I covered up my negativity somewhat when I was out in public (the few times they had a sale at the donut shop), but when I was home alone or with my family, it was full force on the negativity train… we make stops at Self Loathing Avenue and Needs An Attitude Adjustment Boulevard! 

My constant negativity was wearing me down… pulling me into that pit of “you are worthless and stupid” brain parties… and when you feel that way about yourself, where are you going to find the strength and that little spark of hope needed to make a change?  It’s buried so deep you’d need to hire a construction crew and a couple of sticks of dynamite to dig it out.

The song choice today is “Good Life” by OneRepublic (one of my favorite bands)!  Because despite all the trials and tribulations and hard times, 50% of my outlook on life is determined by my attitude (TOTALLY just pulled that percentage out of my rear… take that statisticians!!)  I could waltz around my life (except, not really waltzing because I’ve been banned from ever moving in any sort of dancing motion to any kind of music in public ever again) seeing everything with a grey hue and depress myself to spinach season and back… or I could don my rose-colored glasses every once in a while, do a jig,  and actually take a good long look at the blessings in my life.  They are there, despite how many times I wanted to cover them up with all the “short end of the stick” problems I had.  I truly do think it takes twice as much energy (wow, being a statistician is totes the easiest thing in the world) to stew in your own negativity than it does to have a grateful outlook.  I know my brand of stewing didn’t do a thing for my energy levels… and talk about zit city, batman!

Now I wear my rose-colored glasses every once in a while… every time I do, I’m building up that faint spark that’s buried deep down in my nether regions.  It is a good life… most of the time!    

Good Life by OneRepublic

When you’re happy like a fool
Let it take you over
When everything is out
You gotta take it in

Oh, this has gotta be the good life
This has gotta be the good life
This could really be a good life, good life

Say oh, got this feeling that you can’t fight
Like this city is on fire tonight
This could really be a good life
A good, good life



I immediately smiled like a toothless idiot when I saw this sign... can't put my finger on why?


Question of the Day:  Put on your rose-colored glasses right now… what are you grateful for at this exact moment?



Filed under Little Things, Whitney's Playlist

Lena Horne… I Love You!

“It’s not the load that breaks you down… it’s the way you carry it.”
– Lena Horne

Y’all… let’s all stop for just a minute and let those magical words sink into our pores… I hear it’s great for the skin… magical words, that is.   That is some freaking PROFOUND stuff right there!  Where did I hear this quote… TV… yep… my idiot box.  I was watching the Oscars tonight when they were doing the “In Remembrance” section of the show… and this quote popped up at the end.  And I thought I couldn’t love Lena Horne more.  I sing at various functions and one of my go-to songs is Lena Horne’s “Stormy Weather,” so it’s only fitting that she would also provide one of my favorite quotes. 

If those words were any truer they’d fall from the heavens and smack me upside the head.  I have this load to carry (fat demons), and I can choose to bore a hole on the couch, wallowing in self pity (which I’ve done for years… believe you me) or I can take a new proactive approach to a better me.  I can tell you right now that there’s a world of difference in my attitude and outlook on life having chosen the proactive approach.  I’m sure my family would tell you the same thing… it’s been a long time since I’ve snapped someone’s head off with my incisors.  Family, if you are reading this… I’ll take my congratulatory plaque in a lovely taupe with gold encrusted diamonds surrounding my name carved in rubies… That’s not too much to ask for your saved head, right?   


Filed under Quotes