Tag Archives: birthday

Sale-ebrations…

Mother’s day weekend is always jam packed over here at the Mediocre Ranch. You have your annual mother’s day and then my dad’s birthday falls around the same time, so we always try to celebrate both in the same weekend.

This weekend was no exception. There was a visit from Baby BoBo and his big cheeser grins. We squirted some flowers with the water guns I got at the dollar store, got dirty in the neighbor’s sandbox, saw some baby chickies at the Cal-Ranch store, made a steak dinner with funeral potatoes and non-alcoholic Summer In A C Cup drinks, ate overly-priced brunch at the golf course where BoBo shared an ice cream cone with the floor, talked to Elder Bro Christian on his mission via Skype, and unsuccessfully tried to take group selfies… now all I have to do is take the 32 selfies, cut out the individual people, and photoshop them into a group photo where everyone is looking at the camera at the same time. So easy… said no one ever!

In other news, we also celebrated mothers… I am all for celeebrating the hardworking, long-suffering women in my life… y’all deserve all of the accolades and more, especially my momma! I also have a hard time with this day as I am reminded that I was not blessed with children, and it always gives me a tinge of sadness to think of it. Life is an interesting mish mash of twists and turns… and one day I hope to know more about it.

Happy mother’s day to my momma and the few other mother’s who read this blog… and also a big happy birthday to my dad who turned a whopping 39 (coughyeahrightcough) this year! Love you all!

This is my favorite video… turn on the sound!

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Oh cheeser baby… also, ice cream cones with a fork is the new thing.

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Neighbor Thomas is always so sweet to let Bourne play with his toys.

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In The Delusional Part Of My Brain, I’m Only 25!

It’s that time of year when I pretend I’m 25 for the 13th straight year in a row! I can’t say 25 was a great year for me… but it sure as heck sounds a lot better than 38! By the by family, if you age me by rounding that up to 40 one more time, I’m filing a petition to be adopted by another family… perhaps one who rounds the number down to 25 at all times! Hear!?

The number thing aside, this “birthday week” was full of all things Octoberish… because I do enjoy me a grand ole October day… and since there are 31 of those days, I best take advantage of every last one. Note to my 2 readers, there are only 7 days left… get outside!

On Wednesday on my day off from work, I headed down Salt Lake City way so that Lindsay and BoBo could come to the Wheeler Historic Farm. On the way Auntie Whitty and Baby BoBo snacked on peanut butter crackers from Trader Joe’s and learned our vowels… you go Baby BoBo (you’ll have to excuse my off tuneness… I only sing properly for an audience older than 1)!

At the farm, Baby BoBo got to drive a tractor and ride on a wagon ride and pet some animals and get acosted by 12,000 geese and 20,000,0000,00000000 ducks… and Auntie Whitty stepped in 12 gallons of goose doo, so there was that.

I took this picture right before BoBo fell off this bench onto his head… so there was that sad party… and pretty much scores me Aunt of the year!

Then, yesterday the fam all came up to go to the annual North Logan Pumpkin Walk… kudos Pumpkin Walk peoples! Y’all rock it every year!

BoBo got to stare at a scary witch, who really was a very friendly singing witch, but he couldn’t take his eyes off of her…

Step away from my broom! The next picture cracks my stuff up! Big bro Christian brought a friend along. Matt found a walking stick on the way to the line up and was using that, so BoBo wanted to have his own walking stick… Oh BoBo, you hilarious!

Today, we went to visit some animals around town and then had pasketti dinner with Ryan, Angie, Makayla, and Corbin…


Oh heys everyone… here I is in some leaves…

To round off the day, Makayla and Corbin surprised me by giving me this beautiful wall hanging they colored… thank you, sweet lil ones!

All in all, this girl got spoiled… and I also broke my 5-1/2-month sugar-free streak by partaking in sugar. Oh laws, the flood gates are now opened. Aiming for once or twice a week on the sugar front… period… end of story!

Thank you to all of the friends and family for the gifts, the visits, the messages, the FB posts, etc. Y’all are the best!

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Cliche`s…

I got a note from my literature professor after the last paper I handed in that told me I oversaturated my paper with cliche`s! I was all like, well, you can lead a cow to the barn door, but you can’t make him sit on a chicken! That’s right… take that and smoke it. After I read that critique I spent the next two hours in my head space trying to think of all the cliche`s I could to use in my next paper. I’m raring to go… as the saying goes one person’s meat is another person’s poison, so absence does really make the heart grow fonder when a rose by any other name would smell just as sweet.

Help a gal out… leave me your favorite cliche`s in the comments! I have until December to use them all up!

Oh boy… they don’t know what they signed up for when they made my brain space! I tell you right now y’all!

We celebrated this boy’s birthday last night… albeit 2 weeks late! Corbin is 9… say it ain’t so!

This picture must sum up sibling rivalry at its finest!

Happy birfday, Dude! Next year you’ll be double digits… I wouldn’t recommend it!

BoBo’s like… hey errybody… look at me doing jazzy hands!

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BoBo Es El Numero UNO…

Coherent is not in my vocabulary this morning, so we’ll have to deal with incoherent without a bottle of no-doze! Guess who turned number one this past week!?!? No, the answer is not Whitney’s bottle of Worcestershire sauce. Baby BoBo! He’s pretty much geezering up the joint. Lindsay couldn’t pass up the opportunity to throw a shindig to remember! I mean, BoBo won’t remember it because he’s a baby… but I ate a dagnabbed 4 bites of burnt steak so I’m sure to remember this occasion FOREVER!!

BoBo’s job was to hold up his birthday sign in the yard. He lasted approximately 3 seconds and then we had to bring in the fishing line reinforcements.


There were games with famous people… Wolverine flew in to play darts… aka Big Bro Ethan with dart fingers.


Big Bro Christian got the enviable task of grilling the 3 kinds of meat… THREE!!!!! It was like a meat-a-ganza up in that joint! (PS – this stellar guy could still use your prayers… he didn’t get great diagnosis news… yet he still seems to be schooling us all in the art of how to live your life trusting the Lord’s plan. My money’s on him!)


This is obviously pre-party-goers, and yet again, the rotted deck did not fall through with all of the people on it! Blast the luck!


Lookit… my daddy made me this kitty cat cakes… I liked the ears and eyeballs the best!


But pretty soon, I went into a cake-eating coma!


Oh, did you want a piece too? Better luck next year!


The aftermath!


Happy Birfday, Baby BoBo the Magnificent! Don’t hurry to #2, please!

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Lost count of the days, but I’m still sugar-free… mostly because I don’t trust myself if I were to add it back in. I’ve learned over the years with me it’s all or nothing… addictive personalities for the lose! If anyone needs me I’ll be searching for an edible sugar-free cookie… I said EDIBLE!

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Hello… It’s Me…

Adele is ruining my ear worm life… I can’t get that above song out of my head.  It’s like a never-ending loop, except I don’t know all the words, so it’s mostly… Hello… It’s Me… over and over and over again.  Y’all… climbing the padded walls is only fun when nobody gets hurt!  Stop the Insanity.  I like Adele, I do… but this song is on every time I turn on the radio!  In the meantime I’m anxiously awaiting the song sequel… Goodbye… It’s You, Not Me…  Ultimate breakup song extraordinaire!

In other news, one of my goals this year is to quit being a gigantic lazy patookus and get back to cooking meals that are more involved than stirring a can of beans, corn, and diced tomatoes together.  If it involves more than one dirty bowl, and more than 5 steps, I try to stay away from the recipe… mostly because I’m trying to save myself from stabbing myself in the eyball with my graceful kitchen skills.  It could happen… I once stabbed a hole in my hand trying to declove a clove of garlic.

The first recipe I went for is a healthified vegan version of lasagna using black beans instead of meat and tofu ricotta instead of actual cheese.  I saw it on my favorite Food Network show, Trisha’s Southern Kitchen, and it’s Garth Brooks approved, so what’s good enough for Garth Brooks and Trisha Yearwood is good enough for Whitney, the Graceful Kitchen Knife Stabber… plus, the recipe got rave reviews and 5 stars from the general public online.  Even having been vegetarian at one point for nearly 10 years, I never got much into using tofu.  In my mind, it was this weird mass of goobers in a box, and I try to stay away from that kind of thing on a regular basis.  What I have learned, though, is that tofu can take on any flavor profile you give it, so I took the plunge.

The recipe called for raw cashews and nutritional yeast (not the same as bread yeast)… both of which the regular grocery store did not carry, so I had to go across the street to the health food store that smells like a mix of hemp and athlete’s foot.  Not that I know what athlete’s foot smells like, but I can only imagine it smells similar to the health food store.  And then the problems began.  When making the homemade spaghetti sauce for the lasagna, I made the mistake of trying to pop off the shaker lid on the oregano over the top of the pot, and managed to accidentally pour half a bottle of oregano in when the top came flying off.  Too much oregano tastes like athlete’s foot, so to try to fix it, I poured in 75 more cans of diced tomatoes/tomato paste.  It was still too bitter tasting, and I had enough to feed the entire state of Rhode Island.  After half an hour of simmering the bitter bucket of crap, I threw it down the drain.  Et tu, oregano!?!?  This after trying for an hour and a half to get the food processor to process up my ricotta, I almost gave up cooking for life.  Turns out I was putting the stupid container on backwards.  Don’t be prejudice food processors of America… backwards is a thing too!

I’m thinking of auditioning for the Most Challenged Cooks In America.  If that’s not a show, it really should be one.  I’m not only a contestant… I’m the club president!  The verdict on the black bean lasagna with tofu ricotta?  Pretty dang tastee if I do say so myself.  Next time I’ll make my imaginary chef make it.

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We had our sweet family friend, Lavon over last night for dinner to celebrate her birthday!  She is 92 years young and a spitfire if nothing else.  I have fond memories whilst growing up of playing the card game Hand and Foot with Lavon.  HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Lavon!

Makayla was sure no one would remember what this picture meant… it’s obviously 92 with help from Corbin!

Lighting the candles… we didn’t have 92 candles… and the fire department thanked us.

BoBo Bear picture of the week:

Have a fab week, friends… Spring semester starts tomorrow for me, so I’ll be back in my usual spot of banging my head against an Italian wall.  Oh, Italy… why is your food so tasty, but your language so not tastee!?

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October Colors Bring November Browns…

April showers bring May flowers ain’t got nothing on the new fall version I done just made up.  Except it doesn’t so much rhyme… I’ll work on that.  Poe wasn’t born in a day… or maybe he was.  The things you think about when you are procrastinating doing your homework usually don’t make any sense.  Just a little glimpse into my daily empty brain syndrome.

Before I go any further, I just wanted to thank all you friends for your sweet birthday wishes.  It’s not as exciting as it used to be to turn another year older.  It just means another ache will appear and eeyore’s cloud will barf all over my negative brain.  I don’t have a lot to say right now, so we’ll just move on to the pictures… a picture is worth a thousand words, so this here blog post is actually pretty dang too long.  You are welcome.

Going to go out on a limb here and say that these folks really are fans of the cemetery/dead people decoration look.  I mean, whatever floats your boat.

They’re breaking my heart here… starting the dig up the canal/cut down tree phase of making the canal water run underground in the backyard.  Way to ruin my future backyard pictures, city!

Happy Fall, y’all sweet people.

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Oh Fall…

Now that I’m a year older in people years, but in my imaginary brain years I’m at least 10 years younger and wear a princess tiara, whoops… too many ibuprofen, I feel it is necessary that I become more adult like and start pulling out teeth more often.  So, on my actual birthday, I scheduled an appointment with a dentist to have a tooth root dug out.  I don’t know what I was thinking… in my head I was sure it would be a 10-minute event and then I’d be home eating a steak and par-taying to my geezer heart’s content.  Negative on the steak… I haven’t gone that far in my once-a-week-meat-eating adventures.  Keep the cowbells in the pasture, please!  The truth of the matter, the day before when I was dutifully brushing my teeth, the dead tooth that I knew I was supposed to have had pulled out for a couple of months before that just broke off.  Like literally broke all the way off down to the base, leaving three stems of roots stuck up in my gum.  Quality.  So, due to the fact that I had a horrid taste in my mouth from the rotting tooth and also the fact that we were heading into a weekend (apparently most dentist offices do not work on Friday… or Saturday or Sunday), I only had one choice for a day to get it pulled out… Thursday, my birthday.  But that didn’t matter because it would only be a 10-minute affair and unicorns and gumdrops would fall from the ceiling as I galloped out into the world at the completion.

Ninety minutes later, after enduring several drillings into my gum bones and digging with some doo hickey with a sharp tip, and after almost biting off the dentist’s fingers 12 times, I was crawling out of the dentist on hands and knees bleeding out the corners of my mouth.  See what a quality picture I paint for appetizing lunch hour purposes?  Who wants tomater soup for dinner!?  Blast you gum drop molar forest!  Blast you!  Also, Berger gene tooth issues… BLAST YOU!!  Meanwhile I’m pretty sure I’ve developed dry socket, having experienced the pleasantness of the dry socket when I got my wisdom teeth removed, I know the symptoms… which means packing the dried out socket with a nasty-tasting clove mixture and many months of severe pain are in my future.  BUT… on the bright side… if for Christmas I want hot Wassail… all I’d have to do is pour hot water into my mouth and swish it around with the clove mixture pack.  Voila!  Insta-nastiness!

But, back to the topic… Fall… Fall is my favorite!  It should just stay fall until March and then go directly to Spring… think about it Mother Nature… that’s all I ask!

Totes my deer friends…

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