Tag Archives: celebrations

Sale-ebrations…

Mother’s day weekend is always jam packed over here at the Mediocre Ranch. You have your annual mother’s day and then my dad’s birthday falls around the same time, so we always try to celebrate both in the same weekend.

This weekend was no exception. There was a visit from Baby BoBo and his big cheeser grins. We squirted some flowers with the water guns I got at the dollar store, got dirty in the neighbor’s sandbox, saw some baby chickies at the Cal-Ranch store, made a steak dinner with funeral potatoes and non-alcoholic Summer In A C Cup drinks, ate overly-priced brunch at the golf course where BoBo shared an ice cream cone with the floor, talked to Elder Bro Christian on his mission via Skype, and unsuccessfully tried to take group selfies… now all I have to do is take the 32 selfies, cut out the individual people, and photoshop them into a group photo where everyone is looking at the camera at the same time. So easy… said no one ever!

In other news, we also celebrated mothers… I am all for celeebrating the hardworking, long-suffering women in my life… y’all deserve all of the accolades and more, especially my momma! I also have a hard time with this day as I am reminded that I was not blessed with children, and it always gives me a tinge of sadness to think of it. Life is an interesting mish mash of twists and turns… and one day I hope to know more about it.

Happy mother’s day to my momma and the few other mother’s who read this blog… and also a big happy birthday to my dad who turned a whopping 39 (coughyeahrightcough) this year! Love you all!

This is my favorite video… turn on the sound!

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Oh cheeser baby… also, ice cream cones with a fork is the new thing.

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Neighbor Thomas is always so sweet to let Bourne play with his toys.

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Filed under Family, Uncategorized

Lard-abration…

I’ve decided that no matter how hard I try, I will forever have stuck in my head the notion that food is linked with celebrations and fun.  I mean, it’s a national passtime for our whole country really.  What’s the most important thing about a get together/party?  The food.  What do we have to serve to get people to come to a wedding and bring a gift that doesn’t contain a lump of coal?  Uh… cactus?  Negatory… food.  Everything and their mother revolves around what we’re going to eat.  I guess that makes sense on a lot of levels.  I mean, we have to eat to live right?  We eat several times a day… as my grandma used to say at breakfast… What are we eating for dinner dear?  

But, we’ve even taken that to a new level.  Somehow I get into my tightly wound noggin that some occasions should be free for alls.  Throw out every single thing you’ve ever learned about moderation in all things and eat the entire cruise ship whilst on vacation.  I think that was the Titanic’s problem… some person ate a chunk out of the floor boards when they ran out of waffles at the buffet.  It’s like a right for me to order the most unhealthy thing on the menu because I’m on a birthday weekend getaway extravaganza of lard sauce.  Sure it’s okay to indulge here and there.  I think it’s really unhealthy if we don’t do that.  There needs to be a healthy relationship between a person and their food, and I don’t think constantly restricting certain food items is going to do the job long term.

Miss Vague-y Titanic Floor Boards is on her Vaguey rants again.  What does this all mean?  It means I’m sorting out in my brain the best way to deal with such problems in the future.  This past weekend I went to Midway, Utah for my annual birthday trip (apparently I’m celebrating all month since it’s not my birthday yet).  Usually during my annual birthday trip I give myself permission to not count a single calorie and just enjoy myself.  I think that’s reasonable… but then I went and decided I was joining the Lard Sauce Convention and took it to another Lard-abration Level purposely ordering the lardiest item on the menu because I dagnabbed deserved it instead of being reasonable and choosing one of the healthier options.  Oh learning curves… you rarely work with food.

I think it’s safe to say I blame Ronald McDonald for all of these problems.  Him and his flouncy unnaturally red hair and floppy shoes.  Big Mac my rear patookus!

Uhhhh… where do I buy the carb seed and why did I not know these existed?  Also, I’m pretty sure when I start planting carb seeds my black thumb will automatically be turning green!  CARBS!

Totally my spirit animal.  CARBS!!

In case you were wondering… this family exists.  Giganturan and Teeny.

This is what happens to Plumpy the Penguin after a long night of drinking…

At least he thought to take his hat off first.

T

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Filed under Food