Tag Archives: Christmas

Twas Days Before Christmas…

… and all through the house, all the presents weren’t boughten or wrapped by the louse.   Oh my stars and garters… Hallmark… hit me the heck up!  I’ve got a billion of these diddies just waiting around for your section of cheesy “just because” greetings.

This December has flown by and I feel like I wasn’t able to bask in the Christmas season like I wanted to.  It’s funny how we always get these grand ideas about what we will accomplish over the holidays, read a Christmas story every night before bed, sing songs, play Christmas duets on the piano, bake delectables, see the lights.  In reality, I’m lucky if I wear a pair of non-holy socks and drink a carafe of lukewarm water.  Totally accomplished both of those things this year, y’all!  Pats on the back all around.  Finals are finally over with and there are like 4 days before Christmas.  I figured out that in order to read my 25 days of Christmas stories in 4 days, I’m going to have to read like 6 per day… which is cool and all but let’s be totally honest… that ain’t happening, so let’s change that idea to 4 days of Christmas stories and shut my fly trap.

In other news, we were able to make it to the annual Mormon Tabernacle Choir Christmas Concert again this year.  It’s magical to be in that crowd sitting next to the dude with the loud clap (Lindsay says he punctured her ear drums) and in front of the ladies who told jazzy scooter versus snow bank run-in stories all night.  There was the dude who came dressed up in his champion sweatsuit best… Lindsay enjoyed the monochramatic nature of his navy blue leisure suit amidst the sparkle of the prom dress worn by his wife.  One of the two of them didn’t get the memo, and I won’t say who.

There was the illegal parking maneuver witnessed by a carload of people, wherein because we were tired of trying to find a parking space for the tank, Madre lumbered out of the car in front of Joseph and Mary and the three semi-wisemen, and removed some orange construction cones… ta da… insta-parking place!  Take that people who think they know better than Madre!  It was a Christmas MIRACLE!  Madre also tried to do illegal ticket trading maneuvers with an older guy who was peddling sought-after concert tickets… she was trying to upgrade our balcony seats… to no avail.  Nosebleeds it is!   But then we wouldn’t have witnessed monochramatic leisure suit man!  It was a blessing in disguise!  Beautiful job choir and guest stars… next time let’s do it in the plaza.

Christmas piggy wiggly is my favorite!  He lights up in the dark too!

MERRY CHRISTMAS, Y’ALL FRIENDS… From my family to yours!

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Oh, Music…

Y’all… I’m running on my raunchy-and-too-dang-cold-for-my-bones tank, so if I come off kind of like a neandrathal at an all-you-can-kill wildabeast conference, you’ll know what’s up.  I’m having a hard time adjusting to the cold… per usual.  I really wasn’t made for cold weather (well, to look at me of course I have enough insulation to keep a small army of whales afloat, but that’s beside the point).  When’s the nearest Mayflower leaving for the warm part of the shores?  I’m on that boat faster than Ma in her Kerchief and Pa in his cap.

In other news, this weekend was one full of music… the good kind of music, not that crappy stuff that sounds like my cat got her paw caught in a bear trap.  The first instance was our annual attendance at the American Festival Chorus and Orchestra Christmas concert with special guests Kurt Bestor (on piano), Jenny Oakes Baker (on violin), and Jenny Jordan Frogley (on vocals).  Y’all Cache Valleyites… if you live in this valley, enjoy music, and like Christmas and unicorns, you need to find your way to attending this concert every year.  They do a fabulous job and always make me want to frolic through the snow wearing jingle bells and a candy cane… plus other clothes, get your mind outta the gutter for crying outloud!  If you read my first paragraph, you’ll understand what a frigging big deal me frolicking through any kind of snow is!  We took a selfie when we arrived because we’re all approximately 14, and I didn’t want to post it because it’s kind of a craptastic picture, but I can’t not because of the priceless goobery photobomber in the background.

Security!!!!!   Looking at him, pretty sure I could take him with 3 hands tied behind my back.

Just trust me… next year… DO IT!

The next musical weekend note was the annual First Presidency Christmas Devotional on TV tonight.  Starting the Christmas season right with some music from the Mormon Tabernacle Choir, yo!

Lastly, there was the Grammy’s Frank Sinatra 100th Birthday tribute.  Points to self… TOTAL FRANK SINATRA FAN GIRL right here.  I’m well versed on all of his music and can’t recall a standard that Frank didn’t do to perfection.  We’ll skip over his scandulous personal life and keep it with the music.  They had a fabulous line up of talent to sing his songs (on account of the fact that he ain’t alive anymore), like Harry Connick, Jr.; Carrie Underwood; Alicia Keys; Garth Brooks; Trisha Yearwood; John Legend; Adam Levine; Usher; Celine Freaking Dion, just to name a few.   If they repeat it during the holidays sometime (highly likely) and you enjoy you some Frank music, watch it!   Here’s one of my favorites… “I’ll Be Seeing You” by Trisha Yearwood.

And here’s a link to more performances before I get carried away and post them all:  Sinatra 100 Grammy’s

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You will all be happy to know that LucyFur the Pink-Nosed Cat Deer has been reunited with her long lost deer friends.  She sure did miss them all year.  I am not exaggerating when I say she sits and naps practically right on top of these deer on a daily basis… she thinks they are her family… which is weird because I ain’t never seen a couple of polk-a-dotted-antler reindeer with holly berry embellishments.

PS:  For those of you who asked for the cranberry salsa over cream cheese cracker dip recipe that I talked about last blog post and that just so happens to be to die for… Linkety link:  Cranberry Salsa.  Try it!

For your viewing pleasure, the following is Baby BoBo Bear cussing out the horrible people in the world… you go Baby BoBo Bear… I agree… those horrible people just got owned by a baby BoBo!

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Snow-Klutzing…

I’ve apparently lost my ever-living mind… or I’m discovering some of the cajones I lost two years ago when I slipped on the ice (yet again) and broke my wrist.  I have the balance ability of a very large abominable snowman perched on top of a knitting needle… catastrophe waiting to happen!  After that whole wrist kerfuffle, I swore I would never ever ever do anything snow/ice related again… that included skiing, ice skating, and snowshoeing… oh snowshoeing.  The ironic part of this whole thing is that I got snowshoes for Christmas exactly three years ago… the year before the wrist kerfuffle.  That year happened to be a crappy year for snow fallage, so I did not get out to try them.  The 2 years after I had a broken wrist and then had sworn off snow sports… you know me… daredevil Luigi and her magic wimp brain.

Imagine my delight when the opportunity to snowshoe presented itself to me the day after Christmas.  Oh, you kid… but I don’t!  I put on my dread brain before I went… you know the brain… the one who thinks up every catastrophic event that could possibly take place and then tries to figure a way to get out of it?  I had everything going… the one where I fell in the middle of the wilderness with a broken ankle.  I’d decided I’d use my zipper to reflect the light of the sun onto the snow in my glove so I could drink the water… and then try to murder a snow hare for supper… before or after I’d died of hypothermia I hadn’t really gotten to yet.  There was the one where I dropped the car keys that were in my coat pocket in the snow and then couldn’t find them so had to build an igloo using prairie grass… again, the hypothermia solution didn’t quite come to fruition.  I don’t do snow sports, so I had nothing warm to wear… no long-legged underroos or snow pants or tall socks… so I wore what I wear everyday… one pair of pants and a low-cut sock and crossed my fingers.  Madre, on the other hand had 18 layers and a snowsuit on… she’s much more vertically talented than I am.

Except in this instance… which I did not attempt!

I gotta say.  Wearing snowshoes is like wearing a big ole clown shoe and then remembering that your feet are bigger than what your head thinks they are.  My head was all like… size 10 feet… but my snowshoes were all like… size 8000000000.  It’s a weird sensation when you aren’t used to it.  When I’d finally taken the things off, I felt like they’d taken off the shackles that I’d worn as an imaginary character in Les Miserables.  I was free… FREE at last!

It was at this point that I was sure I’d be accosted by every character from Into The Woods whilst trying to stay upright on my gargantuan bear paws.

I found myself tripping several times… but I did not faceplant this time.  It’s a Christmas Miracle, Wilber!  Not even during the many times where I had to step off the trail into the deeper snow to let a cross country skiiers pass me by.  Of course I moved at the pace of a snail… tripping and hyperventilating all of the way.  Stupid dread brain!  To sum the experience up… I’d do it again.  It’s a great workout.  Hopefully the next time I’ll be able to find the off position on my dread brain so I can enjoy it more.  It’s broken, I tell you!

I hope you all had a very Merry Christmas!  What didja’ get?

PS – Does anyone have any recommendations for fairly clean television series that I could streamline before school starts again and withers my brain into oblivion?  Preferrably shows that can be watched online via Amazon Prime, Hulu, or Netflix?  I’m not into the nighttime soaps, so Grey’s Anatomy-type shoes are a thumbs down… but I’m open to other interesting ones!

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Filed under Christmas, Family

‘Twas Days Before Christmas…

… and clear as a bell all the mices were stirring in Whitney’s window well.  Oh mices… give it up!  Yuck, yuck, yuck!!

In other news… I cannot for the ever living daylight believe that Christmas is this week!?!?  SERIOUSLY!  Where did that month go?  I swear I finished finals a week ago then ta da… we’re here.  I keep thinking that I haven’t done enough enjoying of the season… it has more been a whirlwind.  That’s a shame… and something to work on in the future.  I have been enjoying my Christmas music on my woggercizing sessions… Kelly and Harry and Karen and Andy and Amy and Babs… basically all of the classics, which makes woggercizing at night in the cold bearable.  Although, we do not have snow right now (I ADORE!!!)  I take that back… we do have snow in the mountains, which is where all of the cool kids prefer it, but on the days it snows in the mountains, it rains in the valleys and Whitney and her klutz genes were not sore afraid when woggercizing.  KNOCK ON WOOD!

Lindsay wanted me to share her favorite new Christmas decoration… I call her Annabelle the Christmas Fairy.  Translation… she is freaky!  She’s worse than the Elf on the Shelf… and creepier… when you plug her in she waves her hands around like she’s about to start the house on fire with her candle of doom and gloom.  She’s like the stalker version of Mrs. Claus from a horror movie.

MERRY CHRISTMAS to you and yours, sweet blog readers!  To commemorate the occasion, I’m sharing a couple of my favorites:

Spectacular, Guinness !

Karen Carpenter is my favorite Christmas voice… and this is one of my favorite songs!

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Whitney Overly and Unecessarily Whelmed

You know how I get all uptight over pretty much everything out of the norm… and possibly norma… I’ll ask.  It’s like one of my least favorite pastimes… ye ole stick up the patookus chic!  Mostly I just sit around lamenting and don’t get anything worthwhile done and by the time I’m done lamenting it’s time for bed. It’s a very trying pastime wherein sometimes I’ll also watch really lame-wad shows on the Food Network.  Last month it was some show about outrageous gourds… tonight it was some show about outrageous holiday foods.  Apparently I didn’t learn my lesson… or else I was too busy lamenting.

What the helium balloon am I yammering about?  Well, it’s finals week this week and I have this sudden sense of holy crimeny… I have too much homework to get done!  This isn’t new.  There seems to be too much homework every week, but there’s something about the finality of it all that freaks me out.  Like if I do horrid on a test mid-semester… eh… I’ll make up for it as the semester goes on… but if I do horrid on a test during finals week… that’s it.  Wham bam, we be done, Loretta!  Where’s that tiny violin, Merle?  I need to be sawing on it whilst I’m lamenting.  I’m also attempting to put together a 7-page paper on escapism in “The Glass Menagerie” wherein my thesis statement I spent all weekend preparing is 45 kinds of nonsensicalness and at this point… eh… I don’t care!  Tomorrow I wake up, go to work for 7 to 8 hours and then after my paying job, I get to stare at the computer again for another 25 hours reading scholarly articles.  It really is a blessing because I shouldn’t have time to watch the next installment in the series… outrageous chics named Whitney.

I’d also be remiss if I didn’t remember to introduce you all to the newest ceramic reindeer in our collection:  Lucy-Fur the Pink-Nosed CatDeer… had a very wetly nose!

Ceramic Santa was all like, “On Comet, on Ajax, on Windex, and Clorox…”  Those are the best reindeer… said the tightly wound germ-a-phobe chic!

In other news, if you haven’t watched this yet, it’s definitely worth the 2:30 minutes.  A good reminder with all the hustle and bustle that this season brings, what our real reason for celebrating is!

He is the gift…

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Shuffling Ice Syndrome and Breath of Heaven…

I couldn’t decide which title to use, so I inappropriately used both of them.  Shoot me.  Neither one goes with the other, but I have ADD… give me a break… oh look, a shiny penny!

Now that my favorite season of all the seasons is here full force, which is winter… NOT… I find myself adopting a new mechanism for walking outside… and by walking outside I mean literally in parking lots and/or from the car to the house… not like exercise walking.  You couldn’t pay me 8 billion dollars to get me out woggercising with ice on the ground!  AIN’T HAPPENING!  The reason being?  Almost a year ago to the very day is when I was standing out in the driveway, still as a dead, frozen mouse, when all of a sudden my feet slipped out from underneath me and I broke my right wrist.  What followed was one of the most miserable winters in all of existence… and now… I find myself shuffling like an old lady, approximately 2 feet per hour and grabbing anyone’s arm who happens to be walking near me.  I get anxiety when I think of having to walk on or near ice because ice is deceptive… you think you’re sure footed and before you know it you’re lying on your back seeing drunken dancing sugar plums in front of your eyeballs.

It’s quite entertaining to watch… for everyone but me… and I’ve adopted chanting how much I adore winter (opposite day) and how I’m going to move from winter as soon as I can afford to.  You best believe it.  Save me that shack in Arizona nearest the ocean!  😛   I even dug out the clutz Christmas present I got from my sister one year.  These rubber majiggies that you stretch over the bottom of your shoe that are supposed to provide traction.  I wore them into Kneaders on Saturday evening, got one of the spikes caught in the carpet, tripped, and the thing came flying off my shoe and some poor chic who was trying to eat a sandwich in peace had to stand up and show me where my flying rubber spike had landed.  Thank all that be holy it wasn’t on someone’s eyeball!

I best get over it.  I start classes again on January 6th and I will have to navigate the icy USU campus for at least 4 months.  Meanwhile… who has a spare spike-studded walker I could borrow for 4 months?  😛  Oh, and a Valium.

As for the 2nd title… Merry Christmas this week, friends.  I hope you all get to spend some time with family and friends and get to remember the real reason for the season amidst the Santa parts.  As my gift to you, here’s a practice recording of my Madre and I singing “Breath Of Heaven,” one of my favorite Christmas songs.  Mary’s point of view, but also a prayer we could all use for a trial we may be going through.  MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

As a side note… you can ignore in the background the TV being turned full blast because we were too loud.  Story of my life… my family is SO over me singing… moving on, folks… nothing to hear here!   Also, this isn’t meant to be a visual video… since the only thing you get to see is Mary’s stomach… I wasn’t so great at aiming the camera… or remembering the lyrics in the 3rd verse… or… eh well.

I have traveled many moonless nights
Cold and weary with a babe inside
And I wonder what I’ve done
Holy Father, You have come
And chosen me now to carry Your Son

I am waiting in a silent prayer
I am frightened by the load I bear
In a world as cold as stone
Must I walk this path alone?
Be with me now, be with me now

Breath of Heaven, hold me together
Be forever near me, Breath of Heaven
Breath of Heaven, lighten my darkness
Pour over me Your holiness for You are holy
Breath of Heaven

Do you wonder as you watch my face
If a wiser one should have had my place?
But I offer all I am
For the mercy of Your plan
Help me be strong, help me be, help me

Breath of Heaven, hold me together
Be forever near me, Breath of Heaven
Breath of Heaven, lighten my darkness
Pour over me Your holiness for You are holy

Breath of Heaven, hold me together
Be forever near me, breath of Heaven
Breath of Heaven, lighten my darkness
Pour over me Your holiness for You are holy
Breath of Heaven, Breath of Heaven
Breath of Heaven

 

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Filed under Christmas, Life

Accounting Ability… ONE Week Left…

Here’s the thing… if you’re still doing this FatMas thing for the prize money, which is only about 3 or so people who are still eligible, you have to finish it out… otherwise, I’ll just assume you’ve dropped out.  So, even if you don’t post for 3 weeks and at the end you still have the most amount of points, you will be ineligible on account of the fact that you didn’t finish it out.  Perseverance is the name of the game if you want said prize money!  If you’re just doing it for kicks and giggles, it don’t matter to me if you dropped out 8 weeks ago… par-tay!  I just want to make it fair for the people who are persevering to the end, yo!  This shindig ends next Monday!

Grinchness out of the way… throw me out your point total for the week.  Since it’s Christmas Eve I won’t make anyone answer any question unless you’re totally itching to answer said questions… then, by all means… go for it!

POINTS THIS WEEK:  
TOTAL POINTS (FOR ALL WEEKS):  

****

Mine:

POINTS THIS WEEK:  8 (yep, you read that right… sorta fell off the exercising train there for a minute… back on it, Whit!)
TOTAL POINTS (FOR ALL WEEKS):   114

PS – Posting will be null and void this week (unless I catch a wild hair or insanity gets the better of me)!  So,

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVE!!  HAPPY HOLIDAYS!  MERRY NEW YEAR!!  HAPPY KWANZAA!!  All that good stuff.

 

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Filed under Christmas, Operation: No More FatMas