Tag Archives: Clutz

Shuffling Ice Syndrome and Breath of Heaven…

I couldn’t decide which title to use, so I inappropriately used both of them.  Shoot me.  Neither one goes with the other, but I have ADD… give me a break… oh look, a shiny penny!

Now that my favorite season of all the seasons is here full force, which is winter… NOT… I find myself adopting a new mechanism for walking outside… and by walking outside I mean literally in parking lots and/or from the car to the house… not like exercise walking.  You couldn’t pay me 8 billion dollars to get me out woggercising with ice on the ground!  AIN’T HAPPENING!  The reason being?  Almost a year ago to the very day is when I was standing out in the driveway, still as a dead, frozen mouse, when all of a sudden my feet slipped out from underneath me and I broke my right wrist.  What followed was one of the most miserable winters in all of existence… and now… I find myself shuffling like an old lady, approximately 2 feet per hour and grabbing anyone’s arm who happens to be walking near me.  I get anxiety when I think of having to walk on or near ice because ice is deceptive… you think you’re sure footed and before you know it you’re lying on your back seeing drunken dancing sugar plums in front of your eyeballs.

It’s quite entertaining to watch… for everyone but me… and I’ve adopted chanting how much I adore winter (opposite day) and how I’m going to move from winter as soon as I can afford to.  You best believe it.  Save me that shack in Arizona nearest the ocean!  😛   I even dug out the clutz Christmas present I got from my sister one year.  These rubber majiggies that you stretch over the bottom of your shoe that are supposed to provide traction.  I wore them into Kneaders on Saturday evening, got one of the spikes caught in the carpet, tripped, and the thing came flying off my shoe and some poor chic who was trying to eat a sandwich in peace had to stand up and show me where my flying rubber spike had landed.  Thank all that be holy it wasn’t on someone’s eyeball!

I best get over it.  I start classes again on January 6th and I will have to navigate the icy USU campus for at least 4 months.  Meanwhile… who has a spare spike-studded walker I could borrow for 4 months?  😛  Oh, and a Valium.

As for the 2nd title… Merry Christmas this week, friends.  I hope you all get to spend some time with family and friends and get to remember the real reason for the season amidst the Santa parts.  As my gift to you, here’s a practice recording of my Madre and I singing “Breath Of Heaven,” one of my favorite Christmas songs.  Mary’s point of view, but also a prayer we could all use for a trial we may be going through.  MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

As a side note… you can ignore in the background the TV being turned full blast because we were too loud.  Story of my life… my family is SO over me singing… moving on, folks… nothing to hear here!   Also, this isn’t meant to be a visual video… since the only thing you get to see is Mary’s stomach… I wasn’t so great at aiming the camera… or remembering the lyrics in the 3rd verse… or… eh well.

I have traveled many moonless nights
Cold and weary with a babe inside
And I wonder what I’ve done
Holy Father, You have come
And chosen me now to carry Your Son

I am waiting in a silent prayer
I am frightened by the load I bear
In a world as cold as stone
Must I walk this path alone?
Be with me now, be with me now

Breath of Heaven, hold me together
Be forever near me, Breath of Heaven
Breath of Heaven, lighten my darkness
Pour over me Your holiness for You are holy
Breath of Heaven

Do you wonder as you watch my face
If a wiser one should have had my place?
But I offer all I am
For the mercy of Your plan
Help me be strong, help me be, help me

Breath of Heaven, hold me together
Be forever near me, Breath of Heaven
Breath of Heaven, lighten my darkness
Pour over me Your holiness for You are holy

Breath of Heaven, hold me together
Be forever near me, breath of Heaven
Breath of Heaven, lighten my darkness
Pour over me Your holiness for You are holy
Breath of Heaven, Breath of Heaven
Breath of Heaven

 

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Filed under Christmas, Life

Nothing to See Here… Just A Regular Day In My World…

I have absolutely no earthly clue why I persist on embarrassing myself on this here blog.  Most people would want to paint themselves as some demure Queenish specimen… instead I’m pretty sure I’ve painted a vivid picture of the overall-wearing, hay-chewing, gomer-looking dude from that old TV show, Hee Haw.  

I also have a big mouth and my brain-to-mouth filter broke down YEARS ago.  Instead, I just jabber endlessly and then think about it later… usually kicking myself for saying stupid things without thinking.  It’s a vicious cycle… I like to call it spewing stupidity.  So, now that I’ve prefaced this with a huge long thing about how I shouldn’t even be doling out this information about myself to peoples on the Interwebs, here’s what went down.

I went on a bike ride tonight.  It was like 80 degrees and pretty much beautiful… my dream temperature right there (it won’t last long).  While I was pedaling along, I came across a tree that I absolutely had to stop and get a picture of… forget you heart rate… there are photo ops to be had… it was a dagnabbed Kodak moment!  So, I stopped the ole bike and laid it down where the pavement met the curb.  Then, I jaunted across this grassy place to get a better picture angle, passed a bunch of folks lounging on the grassy area… a pregnant woman with her husband and 3 kids… some dude talking animatedly on a cell phone, a gaggle of teeny bopper girls gaggling… you know… the usual.

I got my pictures and ventured back to my bike, trying to look all like I was some professional biking star with my ugly bike helmet that makes me look like a walrus stuffed into a thimble.  So, I’m walking past all these people back to the curb where my bike sits; I pick up my bike, get on the sucker, and just as I’m bringing my foot from the curb to the pedal to start off, my foot misses the pedal and this HUGE gust of wind crops up and then this big hairy dude wearing an ape suit walks by and pushes me over before I know it I find myself lying on my side on the ground with my bike lying on top of me.  You know how when you do something incredibly stupid in front of a group of people and you’re already humiliated, so you just try to make it look like you did it on purpose?  As I was falling, all of these thoughts of how I was going to make this look cool raced through my head… I finally settled on the sneak shoelace tying, which would have been a great idea and all, but by the time I got my bearings, the bike off of me, and onto my knee so that I could tie my shoes, I realized I was wearing the shoes without laces… velcro.  So, instead I just pretended I was doing a Tim Tebow (aka Tebowing):

Because that’s how we bike stars roll…   Some random girl in the park with a bike lying on top of her always stops to Tebow.

Lessons learned:  I now know why bike helmets are beneficial… while most people use theirs in case they get hit by a car or run over by a train… Whitney uses hers for when she tips over and hits her head.

The scuffed up elbow will heal up… the pride, on the other hand… gonna take a few decades!  Call me when they get my adult-sized tricycle built, would ya’?

Question of the Day:  What’s the last embarrassing thing you did?

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Filed under Exercise