Tag Archives: cold

Snow-Klutzing…

I’ve apparently lost my ever-living mind… or I’m discovering some of the cajones I lost two years ago when I slipped on the ice (yet again) and broke my wrist.  I have the balance ability of a very large abominable snowman perched on top of a knitting needle… catastrophe waiting to happen!  After that whole wrist kerfuffle, I swore I would never ever ever do anything snow/ice related again… that included skiing, ice skating, and snowshoeing… oh snowshoeing.  The ironic part of this whole thing is that I got snowshoes for Christmas exactly three years ago… the year before the wrist kerfuffle.  That year happened to be a crappy year for snow fallage, so I did not get out to try them.  The 2 years after I had a broken wrist and then had sworn off snow sports… you know me… daredevil Luigi and her magic wimp brain.

Imagine my delight when the opportunity to snowshoe presented itself to me the day after Christmas.  Oh, you kid… but I don’t!  I put on my dread brain before I went… you know the brain… the one who thinks up every catastrophic event that could possibly take place and then tries to figure a way to get out of it?  I had everything going… the one where I fell in the middle of the wilderness with a broken ankle.  I’d decided I’d use my zipper to reflect the light of the sun onto the snow in my glove so I could drink the water… and then try to murder a snow hare for supper… before or after I’d died of hypothermia I hadn’t really gotten to yet.  There was the one where I dropped the car keys that were in my coat pocket in the snow and then couldn’t find them so had to build an igloo using prairie grass… again, the hypothermia solution didn’t quite come to fruition.  I don’t do snow sports, so I had nothing warm to wear… no long-legged underroos or snow pants or tall socks… so I wore what I wear everyday… one pair of pants and a low-cut sock and crossed my fingers.  Madre, on the other hand had 18 layers and a snowsuit on… she’s much more vertically talented than I am.

Except in this instance… which I did not attempt!

I gotta say.  Wearing snowshoes is like wearing a big ole clown shoe and then remembering that your feet are bigger than what your head thinks they are.  My head was all like… size 10 feet… but my snowshoes were all like… size 8000000000.  It’s a weird sensation when you aren’t used to it.  When I’d finally taken the things off, I felt like they’d taken off the shackles that I’d worn as an imaginary character in Les Miserables.  I was free… FREE at last!

It was at this point that I was sure I’d be accosted by every character from Into The Woods whilst trying to stay upright on my gargantuan bear paws.

I found myself tripping several times… but I did not faceplant this time.  It’s a Christmas Miracle, Wilber!  Not even during the many times where I had to step off the trail into the deeper snow to let a cross country skiiers pass me by.  Of course I moved at the pace of a snail… tripping and hyperventilating all of the way.  Stupid dread brain!  To sum the experience up… I’d do it again.  It’s a great workout.  Hopefully the next time I’ll be able to find the off position on my dread brain so I can enjoy it more.  It’s broken, I tell you!

I hope you all had a very Merry Christmas!  What didja’ get?

PS – Does anyone have any recommendations for fairly clean television series that I could streamline before school starts again and withers my brain into oblivion?  Preferrably shows that can be watched online via Amazon Prime, Hulu, or Netflix?  I’m not into the nighttime soaps, so Grey’s Anatomy-type shoes are a thumbs down… but I’m open to other interesting ones!

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Filed under Christmas, Family

Summertime Refreshers…

It’s a miracle I’m still alive after having become an unmasterful chef… I’ve managed to slice, dice, burn, poison, trip, drop, kick, cuss, and smack my way through at least 8 of my lives.  If I was a cat I’d only have one life left.  The latest (aside from the chili versus cayenne kerfuffle) was using rotted flour that expired in the year 2005.  I just found it down in the “fruit” room and used it, which is SO unlike me because I swear they could make me the expiration date pol-eese and I could manage to put everyone in the world in expiration date prison.  I’m super strict about that.  Instead I insisted on making homemade low-fat/low-sodium tortillas Sunday evening with rotted flour and didn’t discover (even though it smelled to high heaven) that it was rotted until after I’d eaten half a tortilla… the whole time wondering why it tasted like the bottom of my feet after skimming cheese curds all day.  I’m having convulsions thinking about it!!  Despite all the idiotic things I’ve done, I have had more successes in the kitchen than failures (maybe it’s actually 50/50 or more like 40/60 or… it depends on the week!)  I find it kind of an adventure/challenge to take a recipe and calorize it up to fit my calorie needs.  Now, I ain’t saying anyone would want to eat most of the creations I’ve made… I’m just saying it’s been an adventure!

The latest favorite is not really a “meal,” but a low-calorie/no-sugar summer time refreshment.  I was hot as HADES the other day.  I’d spent the afternoon wearing all black, traipsing up and down the streets in the middle of the afternoon…  When I got home, I wanted a daquiri… and stat.  A.)  I don’t drink… and 2.) a regular virgin daquiri would have been 3 billion calories of sugar… not in my calorizing wheel house at that particular time.  Instead, I found this recipe on Pinterest… Haterz gonna Hate!

– One single pack of Crystal Light (made up as package suggests).  The recipe called for Raspberry Lemonade, but I didn’t have that flavor so made due with Pink Lemonade… I think it actually would have tasted better with raspberry lemonade.

– 2 cups of ice

– 1 cup of frozen raspberries

Get you a blender, throw in the ice and the raspberries and the crystal light mixed with water last.  Blend…

Ta da…  Instant heat relief!!!  This recipe makes like 3 to 4 good-sized servings and the only calories are what’s in the raspberries.  Totally going to make this again next heat stroke.  I think you could probably do this with pretty much any kind of frozen fruit… totes going to have to experiment.  Bottoms up, my pals!  Have a great weekend!  Stay safe in the kitchen!

Question of the Day:  What is your favorite frozen treat?  

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Filed under Calorizing, Food, Recipes

Please Tell Me It’s Powdered Sugar… I’m Begging You!

Here I am, friends… prepared to moan and groan about things that don’t matter a wit when compared to all of the other worldly problems.  That’s my nature.  Please engrave “Bellyacher” somewheres on my gravestone family… and while you’re at it I’d like a good selection of my doilies sewn to my dress.

I woke up this morning, freezing my hindquarters off (oh man I wish… wouldn’t that be an awesome weight loss plan… freezing one’s hindquarters off… let’s work on the bane of my existence cold weather), only to look out the window and see this:

Can you see it!?!?!?!  No?  Let’s zoom in for good ole’fashioned kicks and giggles, then…

I’m imagining that’s a gigantic muffin and on top of that muffin, the baker has just strewn a slew of powdered sugar across it.  Whitney done needs to get her fork and take a bite.  TELL ME IT’S POWDERED SUGAR!!  The 4-letter S word will NOT cross my lips (or my typing fingers for that matter)… WILL NOT… you hear me, Snow!? DAGBLASTIT!   Screwed that 4-letter word up already!   I would just like to remind the universe that it was only October 6th today… you need to at least give me the month of October… then it is free reign on the swear words!

Meanwhile… back to the less bellyachey world (oh… who am I kidding… I’ll still be bellyaching… I ain’t worked all these years to grow this here belly just to let it get free rent… the lease is up, honey!)  This week’s cooking adventures came with 1 success and 1 failure.  The failure was the biggest bummer in the universe because it was my first crockpot recipe and I was totally anticipating eating it all dang day.  It only had to cook for 8-1/2 hours… that’s a long time to anticipate!  Mediterranean Casserole… you are OUTTA here!  Ick, ick ick.  It looked good from the sounds of it… carrots and onions and green beans and kidney beans and tomatoes and macaroni… kind of like a minestrone sort of recipe.  Something about it tasted really off to me, though and I won’t be looking forward to eating the leftovers tomorrow.  I even made Madre taste it and she agreed it wasn’t the best (so it’s not just me)!  I didn’t even bother to take a picture of that nastiness.

The success was something called Scandinavian Vegetable Stew.  It’s been wintery cold here this week, thus the stew and casserole resurgence.   This recipe had a full 2 cups of milk in it for the sauce… wasn’t sure how that was going to work with my lactose intolerance, but for some reason if you thicken the stuff up and stick veggies with it… it works.  Can’t drink milk plain or eat it in cereal or oatmeal or yogurt but disguise it and it’s a go… the weirdest intolerance ever!

Scandinavian Vegetable Stew
Serves 4

8 to 10 small red potatoes cut into fourths (3 cups)
2 cups fresh or frozen baby cut carrots
3 Tablespoons margarine
3 medium green onions sliced (1/3 cup)
3 Tablespoons all-purpose flour
2 cups milk
1/2 cup frozen peas
3/4 teaspoon salt
1/8 teaspoon pepper
2 Tablespoon chopped fresh or 1/2 teaspoon dried dill weed
2 hard-cooked eggs, chopped

Mix potatoes and carrots in 3-quart saucepan; add enough water to cover. Heat to boiling; reduce heat to medium. Cover and cook 8 to 10 minutes or until tender; drain in colander. Wipe out saucepan with paper towel.

Melt margarine in same saucepan over medium heat. Cook onions in margarine 2 minutes, stirring occasionally. Stir in flour. Gradually add milk, stirring constantly, until mixture thickens and boils.

Stir in potatoes and carrots, peas, salt and pepper. Cook 5 to 6 minutes, stirring occasionally, until peas are tender.

Stir in dill weed. Cook 2 minutes, stirring constantly. Top each serving with chopped egg and, if desired, additional dill weed.

For the calorizers of the bunch, depending on how many red potatoes/hard-boiled eggs you put in, this recipe will come out to about 310 to 345 calories per serving.  For some reason my camera lens has this really attractive smudge on it… laws smudge… go away!

Question of the Day:  Are you a fan of cold/winter weather?  If so, you need to kick my receptacle into shape?  If not, what is your favorite season? 

FYI:  Next week I leave on my vacation!  Much anticipated bucket list item, Mission:  Uncage the Singing Bird trip… hotel rooms, bring me your best Lysol.  The point being, I’ll probably not be posting from Tuesdee, the 11th through Wednesday, the 19th… at least.  Catch you all on the flip side! 

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Filed under Calorizing, Recipes