Tag Archives: fall

Electricity What!?

It’s okay y’all… I’m alive to tell the tale. I just spent a harrowing 2 hours without electricity last evening. Oh my laws was it ever rough! It was like I was basically channeling Laura Ingalls Wilder, except the water still worked… and I had a charged phone… and… okay, it was nothing like the Ingalls clan… unless you count the fact that I had to eat my dinner cold because the microwave doesn’t work without electricity! Not the microwave too!? It was my weekend to work, so I was in the middle of proofing a report when it happened… a large explosion sound coming from the garage and then the power went out, and it was a dark and rainy evening in October so I was pretty sure the headless horseman was wreaking havoc amongst the wires in the garage! What do we have you for, George Jefferson, the Stray and Slightly Feral Cat!? I had no warning from you! Selfish feral cat anyway!

We texted the entire neighborhood to see if anyone else’s power was off, and it turns out there were only 4 houses with power outages, so we had to comiserate about our rotting refrigerator contents… okay, that was false too. I was the only one worried about rotting refrigerator contents after 10 minutes of no power. One of the neighbors happened to call the power company and they gave an estimate of 8:00 for the power to be fixed and back on. Great jehosephat… it was 5:15 when it went out! I cannot live in such squalor! I panicked because I had work and homework to do, and without Internet, none of that was getting done, so I determined I would drive up to USU to do some homework while I waited. It was pouring rain, so by the time I parked and walked to the library I looked like a drowned rat, sat down in a chair to do my homework and I get a text that the power was back on! THE HUMANITY! What a waste of time y’all! I am not cut out to be an Ingalls! The lifetime of scars I have after that 2 hours… ūüėõ

BoBo’s like, hey errybody… I got new shoesies!

Baby BoBo and a baby piggy! Come on!

It’s just the right temperature for a swimsie! ūüėõ

In other news… it is October and it is fall and… enjoy some fally pictures!

Oh Autumn…

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Well… There Was That Week…

I’m seriously sitting her for the last 10 minutes trying to think of something to write for my weekly nonsensical blog post rambling of insanity. ¬†Truth is… I did nothing this past week that is even remotely blog worthy, not that I ever do anything that is remotely blog-worthy and I still manage to vomit all over this website for 2-1/2 hours every Monday. ¬†But this past week was even more boringer (page 3423, Whitster’s Dictionary… look it up). ¬†The only noteworthy accomplishment was that after having my molar removed on my birthday last Thursday and developing dry socket and a wicked infection with sharp shooting pains and after going to the dentist 3 times this past week to have them pack a clove gauze majig up into my tooth hole and then finally getting antibiotics, I finally have some shooting head pain relief. ¬†PRAISE ALL THAT BE HOLY, HALLELUJAH!

To let you in on the other boring parts of my week, which included my regular working and schooling, tonight I just spent an hour transfixed to possibly the stupidest show in the history of stupid shows: ¬†Outrageous Giant Foods on The Food Network. ¬†There’s 45 minutes I’ll never get back. ¬†People competing to grow the biggest 1600-pound produce, making a gigantasmic pumpkin pie with 3500 eggs, and boating down a river in a hollowed out gourd. ¬†There was a guy in England who grew a 20-pound onion and a dude in Canada who grew a 12-foot long gourd. ¬†Oh my stars and garters, where’s a plastic spork so I can gouge my eyeballs out!? ¬†In my defense, I could eventually become eligible to compete to grow the biggest dirt clod with weeds in it and probably win handily, so it was more research-ucational than anything.

Due to my large painful headspace, I did not do well with the exercising this week. ¬†Back on it starting Monday… now that it’s going to be dark at 4:00 each day, I feel like it’s a ¬†perfect opportunity to wear my sandwich board around town picketing Daylight Savings Time!

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Oh Fall…

Now that I’m a year older in people years, but in my imaginary brain years I’m at least 10 years younger and wear a princess tiara, whoops… too many ibuprofen, I feel it is necessary that I become more adult like and start pulling out teeth more often. ¬†So, on my actual birthday, I scheduled an appointment with a dentist to have a tooth root dug out. ¬†I don’t know what I was thinking… in my head I was sure it would be a 10-minute event and then I’d be home eating a steak and par-taying to my geezer heart’s content. ¬†Negative on the steak… I haven’t gone that far in my once-a-week-meat-eating adventures. ¬†Keep the cowbells in the pasture, please! ¬†The truth of the matter, the day before when I was dutifully brushing my teeth, the dead tooth that I knew I was supposed to have had pulled out for a couple of months before that just broke off. ¬†Like literally broke all the way off down to the base, leaving three stems of roots stuck up in my gum. ¬†Quality. ¬†So, due to the fact that I had a horrid taste in my mouth from the rotting tooth and also the fact that we were heading into a weekend (apparently most dentist offices do not work on Friday… or Saturday or Sunday), I only had one choice for a day to get it pulled out… Thursday, my birthday. ¬†But that didn’t matter because it would only be a 10-minute affair and unicorns and gumdrops would fall from the ceiling as I galloped out into the world at the completion.

Ninety minutes later, after enduring several drillings into my gum bones and digging with some doo hickey with a sharp tip, and after almost biting off the dentist’s fingers 12 times, I was crawling out of the dentist on hands and knees bleeding out the corners of my mouth. ¬†See what a quality picture I paint for appetizing lunch hour purposes? ¬†Who wants tomater soup for dinner!? ¬†Blast you gum drop molar forest! ¬†Blast you! ¬†Also, Berger gene tooth issues… BLAST YOU!! ¬†Meanwhile I’m pretty sure I’ve developed dry socket, having experienced the pleasantness of the dry socket when I got my wisdom teeth removed, I know the symptoms… which means packing the dried out socket with a nasty-tasting clove mixture and many months of severe pain are in my future. ¬†BUT… on the bright side… if for Christmas I want hot Wassail… all I’d have to do is pour hot water into my mouth and swish it around with the clove mixture pack. ¬†Voila! ¬†Insta-nastiness!

But, back to the topic… Fall… Fall is my favorite! ¬†It should just stay fall until March and then go directly to Spring… think about it Mother Nature… that’s all I ask!

Totes my deer friends…

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Lard-abration…

I’ve decided that no matter how hard I try, I will forever have stuck in my head the notion that food is linked with celebrations and fun. ¬†I mean, it’s a national passtime for our whole country really. ¬†What’s the most important thing about a get together/party? ¬†The food. ¬†What do we have to serve to get people to come to a wedding and bring a gift that doesn’t contain a lump of coal? ¬†Uh… cactus? ¬†Negatory… food. ¬†Everything and their mother revolves around what we’re going to eat. ¬†I guess that makes sense on a lot of levels. ¬†I mean, we have to eat to live right? ¬†We eat several times a day… as my grandma used to say at breakfast…¬†What are we eating for dinner dear? ¬†

But, we’ve even taken that to a new level. ¬†Somehow I get into my tightly wound noggin that some occasions should be free for alls. ¬†Throw out every single thing you’ve ever learned about moderation in all things and eat the entire cruise ship whilst on vacation. ¬†I think that was the Titanic’s problem… some person ate a chunk out of the floor boards when they ran out of waffles at the buffet. ¬†It’s like a right for me to order the most unhealthy thing on the menu because I’m on a birthday weekend getaway extravaganza of lard sauce. ¬†Sure it’s okay to indulge here and there. ¬†I think it’s really unhealthy if we don’t do that. ¬†There needs to be a healthy relationship between a person and their food, and I don’t think constantly restricting certain food items is going to do the job long term.

Miss Vague-y Titanic Floor Boards is on her Vaguey rants again. ¬†What does this all mean? ¬†It means I’m sorting out in my brain the best way to deal with such problems in the future. ¬†This past weekend I went to Midway, Utah for my annual birthday trip (apparently I’m celebrating all month since it’s not my birthday yet). ¬†Usually during my annual birthday trip I give myself permission to not count a single calorie and just enjoy myself. ¬†I think that’s reasonable… but then I went and decided I was joining the Lard Sauce Convention and took it to another Lard-abration Level purposely ordering the lardiest item on the menu because I dagnabbed deserved it instead of being reasonable and choosing one of the healthier options. ¬†Oh learning curves… you rarely work with food.

I think it’s safe to say I blame Ronald McDonald for all of these problems. ¬†Him and his flouncy unnaturally red hair and floppy shoes. ¬†Big Mac my rear patookus!

Uhhhh… where do I buy the carb seed and why did I not know these existed? ¬†Also, I’m pretty sure when I start planting carb seeds my black thumb will automatically be turning green! ¬†CARBS!

Totally my spirit animal.  CARBS!!

In case you were wondering… this family exists. ¬†Giganturan and Teeny.

This is what happens to Plumpy the Penguin after a long night of drinking…

At least he thought to take his hat off first.

T

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Headless Peoples On Main Street…

I consider myself a very jumpy person. ¬†I jump at the sound of someone coming into the same room I’m in and have been known to holler when the water heater turns on. ¬†I think it all stems back to the fact that I’m a wimp and when I was a kid my dad would often wake us up for school in the mornings by throwing open the bedroom door and yelling¬†HEY!!¬†really loudly. ¬†That gets the heart a racing, I tell you what! ¬†My family thinks it’s hilarity to the highest degree to scare the bagoobers out of me… I can’t help that my head has bobblehead qualities. ¬†It’s like family entertainment night to sneak behind me and slap me upside the head just so they can hear me scream when I jump and watch my head bobble. ¬†Forget the movie! ¬†Obviously, I don’t get the fascination, but to each their own.

That said, obviously deciding to go to a downtown ghost tour walk was probably an embarrassment waiting to happen! ¬†I did it anyway… drug my friend, Karrie along to wander around Main Street in the dark. ¬†There were a few jumpy moments when we watched the play,¬†The Fall of the House of Usher¬†by Edgar Allan Poe. ¬†There were a few jumpy moments as we traipsed down Main Street and entered old buildings to hear ghost stories, but then there was the time we crossed Main Street on foot, a group of us following our guides to the next ghost story location, Karrie and I bringing up the rear, when all of a sudden this thing galloped out from behind some trees and Whitney nearly collapsed from fright!

Picture courtesy of Logan Downtown Facebook page.

Y’all… the horse was right up in my face like literally inches away… I could feel the breath coming out the horse’s nostrils. ¬†Whenever I’d try to go around it, the headless dude either couldn’t see where he was going on account of the fact that he didn’t have a head or he was trying to scare the bagoobers out of me and kept weaving whichever way I’d weave to get past him. ¬†That poor horse anyway… some 300+-pound chic kept screaming in its nostril holes for a good 10 minutes. ¬†And we were the last in the group so it’s not like he had anyone else to go after when they all ran for their lives and I was stuck doing the 2-step with a headless horse dude! ¬†Do you see the horse has red eyes… do you SEE!?!?!? ¬†Oh my crimeny. ¬†If I ever need my heart defibrillated, I’ll just run into this thing again in the dark. ¬†My friend, Karrie was no help at all on account of the fact that she was trying to get a picture of it, but was laughing so hard she couldn’t hold the camera still enough to get a good one in the dark. ¬†It’s a good thing I’m potty trained! ¬†When I FINALLY got around the horse dude… I think he finally took pity on me and continued on down the lane… this zombie looking dude with a pale white bloody face jumped out at me and began following us cackling and spouting nonsense about wanting to eat us. ¬†I mentioned to Karrie that he was stalking her, to which he chimed in,¬†I’m stalking you too!¬†¬† Obviously I’d be the first on the menu! ¬†¬†I’d recommend therapy, pale face.

After the 2-step dance practice, we headed to the movie theater to see Meet the Mormons.  Three thumbs up to a feel good, funny, and positive movie that beautifully illustrates that Mormons are not aliens, but regular everyday people!  Go see it!

In other news… it’s officially fall when we pick out pumpkins for the front stoop. ¬†I wanted to buy this one… unphotogenetically (where the crimeny puffs am I looking? ¬†It’s like there’s a horseman galloping through the sky fields)… because it was the easiest one to carry.

Instead, we picked a variety of heavier ones… my favorite is the white and orange one…

Happy October friends… I hope y’all can get out and enjoy the fall colors!

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Crafting for Germ-A-Phobes…

Madre and I attended a holiday crafting majiggy the other day. ¬†We didn’t know much about it, just that it was about holidays and crafting… and food. ¬†We had to pre-register and pay a fee to attend, but the hours were from 10 to 2, so I assumed you could just show up willy nilly whenever the tardy bug bit. ¬†I assumed it was a bunch of crafting booths set up and you’d walk around to each of the booths and watch a crafting demonstration and then pretend you were going to go right home and craft up a frigging storm. ¬† Well, I assumed wrong! ¬†At around 10:20-ish we were still sitting at home drooling out our mouths when Madre’s phone rang and the lady on the other end was wondering where we, the obvious crafting experts of the bunch, were! ¬†I’m all like,¬†Crafting waits for Whitney… and Whitney ain’t there. ¬†Turns out, it was a 4-hour sit-down event where presenters would get up on a stage one by one and demonstrate their craft. ¬†Color me 3 shades of putrid embarrassment!

We arrived at around 10:45-ish, missing out on the breakfast portion and the first 3 or so presenters. ¬†I guess crafting doesn’t wait for Whitney. ¬†I’m not a huge crafter (OBVIOUSNESS ALERT!) but that doesn’t mean I don’t admire the folks who do and can craft, and it was fun to see what creations they came up with. ¬†Well, except for the chic who presented the class on how to craft on a budget. ¬†To be fair, I didn’t really listen to most of her crafts on account of the fact that one of the first ones was how to use toilet paper holders to make stylish napkin rings! ¬†Oh hail no! ¬†My germ-a-phobe brain went 12 million miles a minute after that revelation! ¬†So, you’re going to give me a napkin, which I will use to wipe my MOUTH on, wrapped up with a thing that’s been collecting toilet water spray in the bathroom for its entire life!?!? ¬†Turns out normal people don’t think that way and it’s perfectly acceptable to wipe one’s mouth on a relic from one’s¬†behind-wiping days… lesson learned.

They had a smorgasbord of food throughout the 4 hours, which I kept track of but ended up being like nearly 1000 calories when all was said and done. ¬†Note to self, just because there are vegetable sticks on the tray, doesn’t mean the rest of the table is calorie-free!

We also learned about an exploding picture box, which I’m sure I’ll make just as soon as I get the blanket fabric that’s been sitting on my floor for 6 months sewed up. ¬†And we also were introduced to Phoomph… some sort of magical crafting material one can stick fabric to and instead of sewing, you just have to be good at scissors and sticky stuff. ¬†Too bad I can’t make my quilt out of Phoomph! ¬†For serious!

This is my pal, Kayla, modeling my 4-H-winning ugly polka-dot shirt complete with elastic flouncy waist band that I made when I was 12. ¬†Thank all that be holy we can’t turn back time! ¬†Oh wait… polka-dots are in style again! ¬†Pretty sure the skorts (aka skirt/shorts) I made to go with this winner aren’t… thank all that be holy… or are they?

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Happy Pumpkin Ween…

We have this annual tradition in the valley… every October we have what’s called the Pumpkin Walk. ¬†A bunch of uber talented valley folk (what up all my favorite North Logan Pumpkin Walk Doers) make scenes using pumpkins and gourds, oh my! ¬†This year’s theme was about games… whether it be board games or games in movies… just games. ¬†Soooooooo many clever scenes up in that joint. ¬†You’re usually supposed to attend at night when it’s dark because it’s totes about the ambience… scary boo boo! ¬†I didn’t have a night, so went on a Saturday afternoon a couple of weeks ago instead. ¬†Here are a few of my favorites:

Awwwww… the giraffe from Madagascar. ¬†Super clever set up, right?

Look y’all! ¬†An exact replica of Whitney!! ¬†Or the blueberry girl from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory… fine!

Professor Plum in the Billiard Room with a Knife anyone?

LOL!  Has anyone ever seen that really quality show on ABC where idiot people run around a course getting thrown around and whapped in the head by swinging objects?  Wipeout!

This was by far one of the more impressive ones (great job MarLyn, Holly, et al.) because it encapsulated like 4 different scenes from the movie, Hunger Games. ¬†Pictured is just one scene… it went on and on and on!

 This one just made me get all girly and squealy!  Super duper ca-ute, right!?

As did this one… all the seasons… see the super clever Christmas Tree in the back… and that turkey and scarecrow and snowman!

Alice In Wonderland!

 

Read the first picture and then look at the second one… it’s called Puppy’s Payback aka Revenge of the Dog!

Frankly, I could go on and on and on. ¬†There were many more I took pictures of, but I’ll stop here! ¬†You said it!

Question of the Day:  Do you carve/decorate pumpkins for Halloween?  If so, what did make this year?  Also, if you dressed up, what are you for Halloween today?  

 

 

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Chasing Rainbows…

One late afternoon last week, Madre called me up all freaking out about how I needed to get my butt outside to witness the RAINBOW extraordinaire going on up in the joint called the sky! ¬†Of course, I’m all like… Kodak Moment, yo… and immediately grabbed my camera and took a work break! ¬†Great times, y’all… except after 5 minutes of wandering up and down the streets looking under garbage cans and secret hidden gopher holes, I saw no rainbow! ¬†It weren’t there. ¬†SIGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH… I miss EVERYTHING, said the overly dramatic 13-year-old girl as she plopped herself tragically onto her bed.

I then decided to tempt fate and clocked out of work to go on a lunch break walk, camera in tow. ¬†I was going to get a picture of this dagnabbed rainbow or my name wasn’t Cordelia! ¬†Turns out… that’s not my name… go figure. ¬†Approximately 30 minutes into my walk, I had yet to see a rainbow. ¬†And believe you me, I was looking. ¬†To a passerby I must have looked like a hoot owl on crack seeing as my head was doing 180s in an attempt to look at the whole sky all at the same time. ¬†On my way back, a lady was pulling out of a parking lot, saw me walking, and purposely waited at the parking lot entrance until I got close enough. ¬†Yeah, lady… that was freaky… stalker alert! ¬†She rolled down her window and yelled,¬†You missed the most beautiful rainbow about 5 minutes ago! ¬†

SHUT THE¬†FRANKINCENSE¬†UP! ¬† ¬†That’s 2 dagnabbed rainbows I missed in the space of an hour!!! ¬†I might need an eye adjustment… or eye implants… or… maybe if I click my¬†sparkly¬†heels together 3 times and chant,¬†there’s no place like Old Navy,¬†I’ll grow a brain.

There’s a lesson to be learned in all of this… thou shalt not believe everything someone tells you in a parking lot. ¬†That, and chasing rainbows is a futile pastime. ¬†Why? ¬†Because you miss out on everything else in the meantime. ¬†I wouldn’t have seen this:

Brilliantly lit vegetation under a dark forboding sky… Or this:

Clouds hanging out on top of the mountains like puffs of cotton!   Or this:

Lily pads hanging with yellow leaves in a pond with duckies! ¬† Rainbows don’t corner the market on beauty… it’s all around!

Question of the Day:  What do you use your lunch break for?  To eat?  Exercise?  Run errands?  Chase rainbows?  

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Falling For Autumn…

Y’all may remember that actually happened… me falling DURING autumn. ¬†Like, for example, last Sunday I did it twice I loved it so dagnabbed much… the falling thing. ¬† My ankle and knee still hate it… and so do the 8 bajillion bruises I have on pretty much every square inch of my right hand side… all in the name of Fall!

Sadly, I haven’t had much opportunity to get out around the valley and take in some Falley-type things… like changing leave colors and PUMPKINS and rotted out wild animal¬†carcasses¬†and PUMPKINS and the smell of the neighbor’s¬†chimney¬†fire when it’s still 85 degrees during the day and did I mention gourds!? ¬†Oh yes… PUMPKINS!

I did get up early on a Saturday 3 Saturdays ago to drive up through Sardine Canyon. ¬†The picture taking wasn’t ideal since that was the week when the smoke was hanging out like it owned the place… and everywhere I found I could stop without getting flattened by a semi was littered with telephone poles and ugly wirey things. ¬†SERIOUSLY… GET OFF MY PICTURE, TECHNOLOGY!

 

The smoke haze gives it a muted effect… kind of like shoving a towel into a Tuba. ¬†Not that I’ve ever done that Sky View Marching Band… just hypothetically.

That puff of smoke/cloud formation looked like a geyser… it also made me thirsty… for booze! ¬†Stop it! ¬†ūüėõ

Can I move in with your people?

The leaves have all probably fallen off by now.

More muted, stuffed-towel tuba effect!

I need to get out somewhere else and do some leave exploring… before the ghost of winter present blankets my soul into oblivion! ¬†Too dramatic?

Question of the Day:  What do you most look forward to about Fall/Autumn?

 

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Nothing to See Here… Just A Regular Day In My World…

I have absolutely no earthly clue why I persist on embarrassing myself on this here blog. ¬†Most people would want to paint themselves as some demure Queenish specimen… instead I’m pretty sure I’ve painted a vivid picture of the overall-wearing, hay-chewing, gomer-looking dude from that old TV show,¬†Hee Haw. ¬†

I also have a big mouth and my brain-to-mouth filter broke down YEARS ago. ¬†Instead, I just jabber endlessly and then think about it later… usually kicking myself for saying stupid things without thinking. ¬†It’s a vicious cycle… I like to call it spewing stupidity. ¬†So, now that I’ve prefaced this with a huge long thing about how I shouldn’t even be doling out this information about myself to peoples on the Interwebs, here’s what went down.

I went on a bike ride tonight. ¬†It was like 80 degrees and pretty much beautiful… my dream temperature right there (it won’t last long). ¬†While I was pedaling along, I came across a tree that I absolutely had to stop and get a picture of… forget you heart rate… there are photo ops to be had… it was a dagnabbed Kodak moment! ¬†So, I stopped the ole bike and laid it down where the pavement met the curb. ¬†Then, I jaunted across this grassy place to get a better picture angle, passed a bunch of folks lounging on the grassy area… a pregnant woman with her husband and 3 kids… some dude talking animatedly on a cell phone, a gaggle of teeny bopper girls gaggling… you know… the usual.

I got my pictures and ventured back to my bike, trying to look all like I was some professional biking star with my ugly bike helmet that makes me look like a walrus stuffed into a thimble. ¬†So, I’m walking past all these people back to the curb where my bike sits; I pick up my bike, get on the sucker, and just as I’m bringing my foot from the curb to the pedal to start off, my foot misses the pedal and this HUGE gust of wind crops up and then this big hairy dude wearing an ape suit walks by and pushes me over¬†before I know it I find myself lying on my side on the ground with my bike lying on top of me. ¬†You know how when you do something incredibly stupid in front of a group of people and you’re already humiliated, so you just try to make it look like you did it on purpose? ¬†As I was falling, all of these thoughts of how I was going to make this look cool raced through my head… I finally settled on the sneak shoelace tying, which would have been a great idea and all, but by the time I got my bearings, the bike off of me, and onto my knee so that I could tie my shoes, I realized I was wearing the shoes without laces… velcro. ¬†So, instead I just pretended I was doing a Tim Tebow (aka Tebowing):

Because that’s how we bike stars roll… ¬† Some random girl in the park with a bike lying on top of her always stops to Tebow.

Lessons learned: ¬†I now know why bike helmets are beneficial… while most people use theirs in case they get hit by a car or run over by a train… Whitney uses hers for when she tips over and hits her head.

The scuffed up elbow will heal up… the pride, on the other hand… gonna take a few decades! ¬†Call me when they get my adult-sized tricycle built, would ya’?

Question of the Day: ¬†What’s the last embarrassing thing you did?

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