I hope y’all had a very Merry Christmas full of family and food and fun. What did y’all do? What did you get? What did you eat? But most importantly… did you save some for me and the starving pigme goats in New Guinea!? Yes, because I should be lumped in with anyone who be starving… said no one ever.
Our Christmas was very low key… and by low key I mean only one hot pad caught on fire… and the house did not burn down. KNOCK ON ALL OF THE WOOD! Which was great and all because it be freezing up in this dang joint. I really enjoy weather below the zero mark… it makes me all tingly with anticipation of bathing suits and pina coladas! INSERT SARCASM!
BoBear is 4 months old as of Christmas day and he got to open his first ever Christmas present… and a bang up job he did too. I might just hire him next year to wrap all of my gifts. He’s an wrapping/unwrapping prodigy as witnessed by the following video.
Big bro Ethan pretty much taught him all he knows in that department… not Lindsay who still opens her gifts like my grandma… Don’t rip the paper dear, we have to use that next year!
Merry BoBoBear Christmas to all and to all a good New Year’s!
Meanwhile… LucyFur has moved on from the reindeer family tree she’s been visiting since the beginning of the month to this half-eaten M&M candy cane. I don’t make this stuff up… I just report it.
Nobody situated that candy cane on top of her… she just loves it and situated herself underneath it.
After she’s been wrestling with my bathroom shower rug every night and/or sticking her super long striped arms under the bathroom door when someone locks it on her, I’m thinking she needs a lesson in sanity. Cabin Fever… it’s a real thing! What will she sleep by next!? Take a guess!
Happy New Year’s this week! Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do… which is pretty much everything, except for sleep and eat. So, do do things I wouldn’t do!
… and all through the house, all the presents weren’t boughten or wrapped by the louse. Oh my stars and garters… Hallmark… hit me the heck up! I’ve got a billion of these diddies just waiting around for your section of cheesy “just because” greetings.
This December has flown by and I feel like I wasn’t able to bask in the Christmas season like I wanted to. It’s funny how we always get these grand ideas about what we will accomplish over the holidays, read a Christmas story every night before bed, sing songs, play Christmas duets on the piano, bake delectables, see the lights. In reality, I’m lucky if I wear a pair of non-holy socks and drink a carafe of lukewarm water. Totally accomplished both of those things this year, y’all! Pats on the back all around. Finals are finally over with and there are like 4 days before Christmas. I figured out that in order to read my 25 days of Christmas stories in 4 days, I’m going to have to read like 6 per day… which is cool and all but let’s be totally honest… that ain’t happening, so let’s change that idea to 4 days of Christmas stories and shut my fly trap.
In other news, we were able to make it to the annual Mormon Tabernacle Choir Christmas Concert again this year. It’s magical to be in that crowd sitting next to the dude with the loud clap (Lindsay says he punctured her ear drums) and in front of the ladies who told jazzy scooter versus snow bank run-in stories all night. There was the dude who came dressed up in his champion sweatsuit best… Lindsay enjoyed the monochramatic nature of his navy blue leisure suit amidst the sparkle of the prom dress worn by his wife. One of the two of them didn’t get the memo, and I won’t say who.
There was the illegal parking maneuver witnessed by a carload of people, wherein because we were tired of trying to find a parking space for the tank, Madre lumbered out of the car in front of Joseph and Mary and the three semi-wisemen, and removed some orange construction cones… ta da… insta-parking place! Take that people who think they know better than Madre! It was a Christmas MIRACLE! Madre also tried to do illegal ticket trading maneuvers with an older guy who was peddling sought-after concert tickets… she was trying to upgrade our balcony seats… to no avail. Nosebleeds it is! But then we wouldn’t have witnessed monochramatic leisure suit man! It was a blessing in disguise! Beautiful job choir and guest stars… next time let’s do it in the plaza.
Christmas piggy wiggly is my favorite! He lights up in the dark too!
MERRY CHRISTMAS, Y’ALL FRIENDS… From my family to yours!
I hope y’all had a very grateful and thankful day of tofurkeying. As for Black Friday, I hope y’alls eyes are still intact on account of the fact that I used to work at K-Mart for years and I HATED Black Friday because every grown woman and their dog was willing to poke somebodies eye out to get the last Furby doll. What were we thinking late 90s/early 2000s!? That Furby thing is 54 kinds of hideous. It’s like if a blobfish and a warthog gave birth and then the offspring got run over by a bulldozer on Tuesdee. I ain’t even playing, player.
This year we had two turkeys… one for the cannibalistic grandmothers of the world (see above)… and then one for the rest of us (see below). Baby BoBo Bear practically gets eaten alive with all of his kiss hungry relations. Stop the madness, says poor BoBo Bear!
Ignore Whitney’s Cutie clementine bags… I was down to 2 bags by Thursday, so I bought 2 more on Saturday. SUE ME!
Looks like those rat infestators got their hands on a piece of the apple pie slab and rolls BEFORE dinner. The lack of manners is appalling!
Y’all need to try this heavenly creation of crackitude! I die every time. It’s this whole cranberry/jalapeno/cilantro spread over cream cheese for crackers! Oh mylanta lands of frigidaire is it ever delicious.
After everyone had gorged themselves on carbohydrates, I got to rock Baby BoBo Bear to sleep whilst the rest of the family played a game of cards… I say rest of the family but I really mean the rest of the family, except the paranoid first-time baby mom Lindsay, who had to come and check on me in the other room every 3 minutes so as to make sure that I hadn’t taken to suffocating and/or playing human dodge ball with her child. Gosh… slam dunk the kid once and it’s like I’ll never live it down! 😛 JOKES… no BoBos were harmed in the typing of this blog post.
How was everyone else’s Thanksgiving!? Did you cook? Who did you have over? Favorite dish?