Tag Archives: Family

BoBo Es El Numero UNO…

Coherent is not in my vocabulary this morning, so we’ll have to deal with incoherent without a bottle of no-doze! Guess who turned number one this past week!?!? No, the answer is not Whitney’s bottle of Worcestershire sauce. Baby BoBo! He’s pretty much geezering up the joint. Lindsay couldn’t pass up the opportunity to throw a shindig to remember! I mean, BoBo won’t remember it because he’s a baby… but I ate a dagnabbed 4 bites of burnt steak so I’m sure to remember this occasion FOREVER!!

BoBo’s job was to hold up his birthday sign in the yard. He lasted approximately 3 seconds and then we had to bring in the fishing line reinforcements.


There were games with famous people… Wolverine flew in to play darts… aka Big Bro Ethan with dart fingers.


Big Bro Christian got the enviable task of grilling the 3 kinds of meat… THREE!!!!! It was like a meat-a-ganza up in that joint! (PS – this stellar guy could still use your prayers… he didn’t get great diagnosis news… yet he still seems to be schooling us all in the art of how to live your life trusting the Lord’s plan. My money’s on him!)


This is obviously pre-party-goers, and yet again, the rotted deck did not fall through with all of the people on it! Blast the luck!


Lookit… my daddy made me this kitty cat cakes… I liked the ears and eyeballs the best!


But pretty soon, I went into a cake-eating coma!


Oh, did you want a piece too? Better luck next year!


The aftermath!


Happy Birfday, Baby BoBo the Magnificent! Don’t hurry to #2, please!

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Lost count of the days, but I’m still sugar-free… mostly because I don’t trust myself if I were to add it back in. I’ve learned over the years with me it’s all or nothing… addictive personalities for the lose! If anyone needs me I’ll be searching for an edible sugar-free cookie… I said EDIBLE!

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Groovin’ To The Wrong Beat…

I really don’t have the spewing nonsensical sentences desire tonight… Oh, sure I could go on and on for twelve paragraphs about the really uncomfortable things I said to random strangers over the weekend about being a stripper because I requested change in one-dollar bills and making meth with the Sudafed I bought… by the by… neither one of them got the jokes.  Now they probably think I’m a stripping meth-head… and ain’t no one wants to see that… the blind people maybe, but that’s about it. Sarcasm is really a lost art in the grocery industry.

There was also the time we went to the Summerfest and watched a bunch of older dads grooving all off the beat to Beach Boys songs. And no, that is not why I requested the ones… I think. We also learned a new dance move, the groove and walk… I think it’s based off Leslie Sansone’s really groovy keen walking exercise VHS tapes… and to make things even better, you can do this particular dance to pretty much every song out there… slow songs… check… fast songs… check… really nauseating songs… yet to be determined.

I spent most of the rest of the weekend (besides working as it was my work weekend), lamenting the fact that everything my family talks about is about SUGAR!!!! I’ve heard the story of the lemony hand pies eaten at the Summerfest 52 times by now… oh the flaky crust and the scrumptious lemony goodness… blah, blah, blah. And then there was the saga about the blueberry pie-flavored oreo cookies and entire jar of Snickers… and the popcorny marshmallow goodness! THE WORLD IS A SUGAR CUBE and I just live on top of it apparently. Despite all of the sugary saga spewing, I can count today as day #36 sugar-free. Bring on #37… but only if I never have to hear the lemony hand pie saga ever again!

Happy Father’s Day to my pa, and to all of you dads out there who don’t read this blog, so if you’re reading this blog and you have a dad or a dad figure in your life or a husband who is a dad, tell him I said so… and also tell him that I thought he did a bang up job grooving to the Beach Boys greatest hits at the Summerfest!

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BoBo loves him some Harley chases… pretty sure Harley would rather spend an hour on the spin dry cycle. Go BoBo!

BoBo is the coolest dude in town!!

He even has hims own new chairs, grammy and auntie whitty found for him!

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The End Of Three Eras…

Back when I first graduated high school in the late 1800s, I quit my Western Watts telemarketing job and got me 2 new jobs to add to my Freshman full time college resume. I got a job working at the local movie theaters (yes, there were 3 I worked at), and I also got me a job at K-Mart (or as we used to call it Kame-apart). I worked at K-Mart for at least 6 or so years until I couldn’t stand hefting my 500+-pound body on my feet all day long. In the years I worked at K-Mart, I was a cashier, shelf stocker, truck unloader, Electronics and Sporting Goods Department worker, Layaway worker, and my favorite (unless it was 12,000-degrees outside) was garden shop worker, where-in I worked outside all day watering plants and hefting manure, dirt, and cinder blocks into the back of cars. It was amusing the things people couldn’t grasp about the weight of cinder blocks versus their 3-inch Volkswagen Bug and the fact that if you got too many in the trunk, you’d be dragging the back of the car against the road all the way home… kind of like the 3rd little piggie crying wee wee wee, but much different with more cussing. One dude wanted to put a whole pallet of cinder blocks into his mini truck. Let’s just say… hope he had good insurance! I digress… TANGENT ALERT!!!!

I have good memories of working at K-Mart, even amidst the bad ones, so when I learned earlier this year that it would be closing its doors for good, I had to take a moment to mourn.

I went in on Saturday to pay my respects. It was like a ghost town, almost empty except for some merchandise marked to 80% off in the middle of the store.

I even ran into an old co-worker who was still working there and remembered me from 15+ years ago. She said that she shouldn’t have worn makeup as she’d been crying. She’d worked there for nearly 30 years! Hasta lavista, K-Mart! May your cinder block idiots live on in another town.

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In other news… this is Old Main Hill up at Utah State University…

Do we notice anything slightly odd about it? This really seems like something I would do. Apparently, this past fall, some groundskeeper/student worker accidentally sprayed the left half of the lawn with grass killer instead of weed killer. LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That picture doesn’t do it justice, but you get the gist of it. Every time I drive past it, I feel sorry for it and then I immediately start laughing… because like I mentioned earlier… TOTALLY SOMETHING I WOULD DO! Welcome spring students… we are offering a scholarship in grass killing 1010.

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My cuzzin JenJen came up for a quick jaunt to attend her mother’s wedding this weekend. She had a super busy schedule, so I had to make an appointment to hang out with them when she arrived on Thursday afternoon/evening. This is the first time I got to meet sweet little Baby Livia! Awwwww… sweet little Livia…

I agree, mother… don’t make that face or your face will freeze that way! Oh lawsy pantaloons.

We all went out for an evening jaunt (aka try to wear out the babies session) where-in Whitney got distracted by blooming things and canal water (what!?! I’m in mourning over my canal water shortage).

We tried to get BoBo and Livia to bond… but BoBo is more interested in bonding with Auntie Whitty Woo’s owly owl camera phone.

I don’t blame you, BoBo… owly owls are pretty awesome!

Livia is all calm as a pumpkin and BoBo is intent on poking her eyes out and eating her head… right after he finishes kicking her. Oh BoBo, you rascal…

Thanks for clearing your schedule some for me, dear JenJen!! Sure loved seeing you guys for a few hours… even if no one made me any donuts… or gluten free, soy free, dairy free, egg free, magical fairy free pancakes.

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BoBear, The Unwrapping Prodigy…

I hope y’all had a very Merry Christmas full of family and food and fun.  What did y’all do?  What did you get?  What did you eat?  But most importantly… did you save some for me and the starving pigme goats in New Guinea!?  Yes, because I should be lumped in with anyone who be starving… said no one ever.

Our Christmas was very low key… and by low key I mean only one hot pad caught on fire… and the house did not burn down.  KNOCK ON ALL OF THE WOOD!  Which was great and all because it be freezing up in this dang joint.  I really enjoy weather below the zero mark… it makes me all tingly with anticipation of bathing suits and pina coladas!   INSERT SARCASM!

BoBear is 4 months old as of Christmas day and he got to open his first ever Christmas present… and a bang up job he did too.  I might just hire him next year to wrap all of my gifts.  He’s an wrapping/unwrapping prodigy as witnessed by the following video.

Big bro Ethan pretty much taught him all he knows in that department… not Lindsay who still opens her gifts like my grandma… Don’t rip the paper dear, we have to use that next year!

Merry BoBoBear Christmas to all and to all a good New Year’s!

Meanwhile… LucyFur has moved on from the reindeer family tree she’s been visiting since the beginning of the month to this half-eaten M&M candy cane.  I don’t make this stuff up… I just report it.

Nobody situated that candy cane on top of her… she just loves it and situated herself underneath it.

After she’s been wrestling with my bathroom shower rug every night and/or sticking her super long striped arms under the bathroom door when someone locks it on her, I’m thinking she needs a lesson in sanity.  Cabin Fever… it’s a real thing!  What will she sleep by next!?  Take a guess!

Happy New Year’s this week!  Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do… which is pretty much everything, except for sleep and eat.  So, do do things I wouldn’t do!

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Twas Days Before Christmas…

… and all through the house, all the presents weren’t boughten or wrapped by the louse.   Oh my stars and garters… Hallmark… hit me the heck up!  I’ve got a billion of these diddies just waiting around for your section of cheesy “just because” greetings.

This December has flown by and I feel like I wasn’t able to bask in the Christmas season like I wanted to.  It’s funny how we always get these grand ideas about what we will accomplish over the holidays, read a Christmas story every night before bed, sing songs, play Christmas duets on the piano, bake delectables, see the lights.  In reality, I’m lucky if I wear a pair of non-holy socks and drink a carafe of lukewarm water.  Totally accomplished both of those things this year, y’all!  Pats on the back all around.  Finals are finally over with and there are like 4 days before Christmas.  I figured out that in order to read my 25 days of Christmas stories in 4 days, I’m going to have to read like 6 per day… which is cool and all but let’s be totally honest… that ain’t happening, so let’s change that idea to 4 days of Christmas stories and shut my fly trap.

In other news, we were able to make it to the annual Mormon Tabernacle Choir Christmas Concert again this year.  It’s magical to be in that crowd sitting next to the dude with the loud clap (Lindsay says he punctured her ear drums) and in front of the ladies who told jazzy scooter versus snow bank run-in stories all night.  There was the dude who came dressed up in his champion sweatsuit best… Lindsay enjoyed the monochramatic nature of his navy blue leisure suit amidst the sparkle of the prom dress worn by his wife.  One of the two of them didn’t get the memo, and I won’t say who.

There was the illegal parking maneuver witnessed by a carload of people, wherein because we were tired of trying to find a parking space for the tank, Madre lumbered out of the car in front of Joseph and Mary and the three semi-wisemen, and removed some orange construction cones… ta da… insta-parking place!  Take that people who think they know better than Madre!  It was a Christmas MIRACLE!  Madre also tried to do illegal ticket trading maneuvers with an older guy who was peddling sought-after concert tickets… she was trying to upgrade our balcony seats… to no avail.  Nosebleeds it is!   But then we wouldn’t have witnessed monochramatic leisure suit man!  It was a blessing in disguise!  Beautiful job choir and guest stars… next time let’s do it in the plaza.

Christmas piggy wiggly is my favorite!  He lights up in the dark too!

MERRY CHRISTMAS, Y’ALL FRIENDS… From my family to yours!

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Cannibalistic Turkeys…

I hope y’all had a very grateful and thankful day of tofurkeying.  As for Black Friday, I hope y’alls eyes are still intact on account of the fact that I used to work at K-Mart for years and I HATED Black Friday because every grown woman and their dog was willing to poke somebodies eye out to get the last Furby doll.  What were we thinking late 90s/early 2000s!?  That Furby thing is 54 kinds of hideous.  It’s like if a blobfish and a warthog gave birth and then the offspring got run over by a bulldozer on Tuesdee.  I ain’t even playing, player.

This year we had two turkeys… one for the cannibalistic grandmothers of the world (see above)… and then one for the rest of us (see below).  Baby BoBo Bear practically gets eaten alive with all of his kiss hungry relations.  Stop the madness, says poor BoBo Bear!

Ignore Whitney’s Cutie clementine bags… I was down to 2 bags by Thursday, so I bought 2 more on Saturday.  SUE ME!

Looks like those rat infestators got their hands on a piece of the apple pie slab and rolls BEFORE dinner.  The lack of manners is appalling!

Y’all need to try this heavenly creation of crackitude!  I die every time.  It’s this whole cranberry/jalapeno/cilantro spread over cream cheese for crackers!  Oh mylanta lands of frigidaire is it ever delicious.

After everyone had gorged themselves on carbohydrates, I got to rock Baby BoBo Bear to sleep whilst the rest of the family played a game of cards… I say rest of the family but I really mean the rest of the family, except the paranoid first-time baby mom Lindsay, who had to come and check on me in the other room every 3 minutes so as to make sure that I hadn’t taken to suffocating and/or playing human dodge ball with her child.  Gosh… slam dunk the kid once and it’s like I’ll never live it down!  😛  JOKES… no BoBos were harmed in the typing of this blog post.

How was everyone else’s Thanksgiving!?  Did you cook?  Who did you have over?  Favorite dish?

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