Tag Archives: fitbie

10 Ridiculous Things “DIE”ter’s Say…

I read this article sometime before Thanksgiving whilst trying to find some fresh ammunition to get my butt back into the groove of eating less craptastically.  It hasn’t worked yet, but I aim to drill it into my noggin with my trusty Black and Decker drill bit.  Anyone ever tried drill therapy?  Drill a hole through your tongue and you’ll never want to eat again?

The article contained 10 Ridiculous Things “Die”ters Say… and since I’m never in my lifetime ever going on another “die”t even with a drilled hole in my tongue, I changed it to 10 Ridiculous Things Calorizers Say… there… psyche quelled.  My plan in this post is to list each individual item in bold, and then make snarktastic comments to the side of them.  You are welcome.

1- “If I exercise enough I can eat what I want.”  I’ve learned that this weight loss thing is approximately 90% what and how much you eat and 10% exercise.  If you’re eating fast food 3 times a day and exercising 30 minutes a day… you’re going to gain weight.  Exercise is beneficial for a healthy body/heart/mind, all that good stuff, but it doesn’t do a thing if you’re not throwing in the eating properly thing too.

2- “I don’t drink soda. Only juice, tea, and lemonade.”   I’m adding “all things in moderation” to this here point.  Lighten up, Fitbie… geez!  Drinking anything aside from water is going to be empty calories and those empty calories can add up fast… so by the end of the day you’re left wanting to chew something.  I’ve never been into shakes and smoothies and the like for that very reason.  I don’t feel like I’ve eaten anything unless I’m chewing.

3 – “I avoid potatoes because they’re fattening.”  SACRILEGE!!!!  I’m from Idaho… take that back!  I don’t care if 10 years down the road they discover potatoes cause zits and oily pores… I’m a gonna be baking and eating and mashing my taters until they throw me 6-feet down.   The only fattening potato is the french-fried one and/or the one you put 10 pounds of butter and a container of Sour Cream on… and come on… that had to be obvious.

4 – “I never eat after 7 PM.”  THANK YOU!!  I always got frustrated with the nutritionist/dieticians who told me I needed to close my mouth and my kitchen after 6:30.  I can’t work like that because when someone tells me I can’t do something, I’m going to be obsessing over it until I do it anyway.  All things in moderation… chillax!

5 – “I eat the organic chips, which are healthier.”  ALL THINGS IN MODERATION!  Again, grow some frijoles, Fitbie!  (yes I’m aware that I just told them to grow some beans).   Of course organic does not automatically mean healthy… it just means they grew the stuff in cow doo instead of with chemicals and pesticides and stuff.  Somehow the cow doo sounds less appetizing, but I’ll take your word for it, people of the Earth.

6 – “I already blew my diet and ate a piece of cake. Might as well eat the rest of it.”  Oh boy… they must have heard me talking like pretty much every day the last few weeks.  My favorite is… I’ll start again tomorrow… which inevitably has turned into 3 months later and I’m about to say it again.  Disgrosting behavior, Whitnit!

7 – “No water for me today—I don’t want to look bloated at the party tonight.”  I have never in my lifetime ever uttered such ridiculousness.  PUH-LEASE, Twiggy and Mary Kate Olsen!  Firstly, I never go to parties… and secondly, water is the nectar of the smart people!

8 – “I can’t eat eggs, they’re bad for me!”
  Oh, shoot me now… I eat eggs several times a week… it’s one of my main sources of protein.  Most times it’s the egg white/egg beater form, but I do regularly eat whole eggs too.  Don’t offend the chickens… eat eggs!

9 – “If I eat breakfast, I’ll keep eating all day”  Durrrrrrrrrrrrrr… another one from Twiggy, I suppose.  Eat breakfast and be Merry for tomorrow you can eat it again.  Eating breakfast is a smart thing for your blood sugar and your metabolism.

10 – “I ate a triple hamburger and large shake today, but that never happens.”  And your point is?  ALL THINGS IN MODERATION!  I suppose if I were to use the all things in moderation mantra on this one, it wouldn’t be a triple burger but a single and the large shake would become a small… and it wouldn’t be a daily occurrence, but a once-in-a-while one.  Be smart about it… and LIGHTEN UP!!

Question of the Day:  Which of these phrases are you most famous for saying?  Which do you have mastered?  

This here is Marvin… he was a nice visitor and all until he attempted to eat my camera.  Nice try, Marvin!

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Filed under Calorizing, Diet

Focusing On Change…

You know how when you have some sort of lifestyle change… you get a new job, you move towns, you have a kid, you go to prison for embezzling corn nuts, etc., etc., etc.  So, your lifestyle changes and the previous lifestyle you had so carefully crafted kind of goes out the window because of the change of focus… getting accustomed to the new.  I’m feeling a bit of that right now… on a very small scale… adding 2 classes to my schedule has changed my focus, which is ridiculous because I’m all about balance and a healthy balance includes a lifestyle of health.  Get my drift, Prison Patricia?  I need to be more conscious of my eating and my intensity whilst exercising.  I refuse to get out of the habit just because there are now other things I could be doing to fill that set aside health-butt-kicking time.  It’s not impossible, it just takes some thought, a pinch of effort, and every once in a while a good ole fashioned swift kick to the nether regions.  Consider this my good swift kick to the nether regions.

I pinned this article on Pinterest a few weeks back… intent that I’d come back and read it when I got 12 seconds… tonight at 4:30 in the morning I found that 12 seconds… so much for that early to bed crapola I went spouting on about.  The article was titled 15 Signs Your Diet Will Fail… and even though I despise the word “die”t with every ounce of my fat flabs, I read it anyway.  Some good stuff in there.  Stuff I wholeheartedly agree with and stuff I want to agree with but am too lazy to want to put into action.  Though, I have to say when I’m firing on all 5 billion cylinders, I do follow most of this advice.  A quick rundown:

1.  Your plan promotes rapid weight loss.   Take that and shove it Biggest Loser!  Rapid weight loss means eventual rapid weight gain somewhere down the road.  I don’t know about you all, but I want this as a lifetime thing… not having to redo it every 4 years.

2.  You don’t exercise.  Um… DUH!  Did you also know that they call an orange an orange?  My goal for this one.  UP THE INTENSITY…  I can no longer get away with doing the same intensity as I could 235 pounds ago to lose weight.  I’m more in shape now… and the same walking pace is not going to cut it.  And PLEASE for all that’s holy and right with the Solar System… do your dagnabbed weightlifting routine on a regular basis, Whitney… for serious!

3.  You do cardio without strength training.  My biggest, biggest, biggest issue on the exercise front… biggest!  Someone come over here with a ball bat and smack me upside the noggin until I get to hopping regularly.  Who cares if you think it’s boring… shut up and do it!

4.  You cut out an entire food group.   THANK YOU!!  I’ve harped on this from the beginning.  I’ve never believed in cutting out a group of delectables.  The no carb diets don’t work long term… sorry to burst the bubble… it’s reality, folks.

5.  Your diet requires you to buy premade meals.  That’s why I cringe at Jenny Craig and Nutrisystem, etc.  Real food tastes better… real food is better for you… and you need to learn how to make real food.  What are you going to do, buy a 60-year supply of Jenny Craig food just to make sure you keep the weight off?  NEGATIVE!

6.  You skimp on shut eye.  Note taken.  I’ve been a nonsleeper at night since the age of 11.  It’s a hard thing to get out of.  I do think I’d be better off if I could get more sleep… and less likely to graze the household at night.  I’ll eat a piece of furniture if I’m hungry enough.

7.  You don’t pack your lunch.  Common sense.  Preparing ahead of time will totes thwart that I’m so hungry I could eat the fake meat they serve in the McDonald’s Big Mac spiel.

8.  You don’t read nutrition labels.  Yep!  These days nothing goes into the cart without looking at that thing.  I’m always comparing calories and fat and sodium levels.  I’m a total geek, but all the cool kids are doing it.  Ask Urkel!

9.  Your diet is too regimented.  You know those people who say that they will never touch sugar and they will never touch any food that hasn’t been blessed by the organic nymphs of lettuce land?  The ones you want to club in the head with a Twinkie?  Live a little… every once in a while… good grief, Charlie Brown!

10. You skip meals.  I used to do this… I’d eat one huge meal at night and barely anything earlier in the day.  STUPID idea.  There’s a reason keeping your blood sugars level throughout the day is a good idea.  And it totally helps with wanting to binge because you’re so hungry you ate the cat.  I notice when I plan to eat 5 or 6 times a day, I’m so much better off than the times I eat 2 or 3 times.

11.  You over-snack.  I make my day into mini meals rather than big meals and snacks.  That way I’m eating all day… but I always have those days where I graze and eat my mini meals… and that’s about as smart as installing a telephone wire whilst standing in water.

12.  You don’t eat enough protein.  I used to struggle with this at the beginning of vegetarianism.  I’m quite good at it now.  I’ve read up on the best way to get in protein without eating meat whilst having it be a complete protein.  I’m now always over my protein goal.

13.  You go low-fat.  I struggle with this.  I buy low fat because low fat means lower calories which means Whitney gets a bigger serving.  But when they take out the fat, they have to add something to it to compensate… and that’s usually sodium or sugar.  Plus, the body needs some fat.

14.  You refuse to try new foods.  I’ve gotten A LOT better about this over the last 3 years.  Vegetarianism really jump started the new foods thing.  I still have quite a ways to go to get out of the picky eater department, but I’ve grown leaps and bounds.  That’s a pat on the back!

15.  You don’t keep track of what you eat.  PUT A STAMP ON THAT SUCKER AND NAME IT FREDRICK!!  Saying that you can guesstimate in your head what you eat never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever works.  EVER!  The days I don’t use myfitnesspal to track my food are the days I’m wayyyyyy over in calories.  I need to be more regimented in tracking my weekend eating as well.  I don’t… and that is one of my main problems right now.

Pretty smart stuff right there, right?  Y’all… Whitney is inspired to sit down, shut up, and get back on a better regimen.  Two weeks of class taking is enough getting-used-to time!

Question of the Day:  Of the above-mentioned list, which one is your hardest to overcome?  

T

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Filed under Calorizing, Diet, Exercise