Tag Archives: future self

Dear Future Whitney…

Back to the good ole List….

Write a letter to yourself in the future.

Dearest Future Whitney,

So, you just got back from Oprah’s house!  How is the ole broad?  Did it hurt much on the way to the state penitentiary wearing them pesky handcuffs?  Such a shame she didn’t allow you inside even after you went to all that trouble of scaling the electric fence with the barbed wire across the top.  There goes that pacemaker!! 

Meanwhile, I hope you enjoyed your vacation to somewhere exotic and fun and that you are enjoying your cozy little house in the country surrounded by your doilies and all the embroidery needles you can handle.  I told you not to paint that room the color of mustard… now every time you pass by you crave pig/beef/chicken scraps molded into the shape of a hot dog. 

Note to self… must pick up more Bath and Body Work product… am down to 99 bottles of antibacterial hand soap, must not get below 100. 

Be happy… you’re in Onederland now and you’ve race-walked a half marathon and become someone important… Oprah who?  The bane of your existence is a thing of the past and you’re a cultured woman who enjoys music and theater and books and foreign films and traveling… and ChOcOlAtE-covered everything!  You have the same awesomely loyal friends and family who love you know matter how much you weigh.  You’re a blessed woman living life to the fullest and enjoying every dagnabbed second of it.  Life is good. 

Much Love and Antibacterial Soapy Products,

Whitney of the Past and Present

***

I sang tonight… a Christmas program for a group of the most adorable ladies on the block, ages 60s to 90-plus.  They were part of a literary club called Ex Libris and were for sure the sweetest ladies in existence.  I wanted to get inducted into the club by the time I left, but I’m not sure I could handle the induction process.  It’s probably something about having knowledge and wisdom and stuff that I could only hope to have absorbed whilst in their presence.  Thank you, ladies for the nice evening and for humoring me with my singing.  I apologize for forgetting all of the words to The Christmas Waltz and butchering Rocking Around the Christmas Tree, but at least y’all can be thankful that I didn’t bust out any dance moves… I’d been practicing you see… locked away in the darkest corner of the basement.  This is the best picture Madre could get of the occasion:

Those would be the stars of the program… Mr. and Mrs. Water Glass and Grampa Bread Basket.  Cuzzins Altoids and Lip Chap are sitting in the foreground next to Auntie Napkin.  Oh… and then in the verrrrryyyyyyy tippy tippy top corner, you see the ensemble chorus… yep… there I am standing next to Santa Claus’s hat!!!!  Thank you, sweet ladies for the nice evening.  Special thoughts and prayers and hugs go out to my friend who invited me to sing, Audrey and her family.  😦  You were missed.  Take care, sweet lady!

Question of the Day:  What’s one thing you want to say to your future self? 

 

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