Tag Archives: hog

HOG! BUTTS!

I made a few notes when I was outlining what my posts for this week would be… next to this particular topic… 2 words… HOG! BUTT!  That pretty much sums it up.  The End!  Thanks y’all for stopping by to read, friends.  Have a fabulous Mondee!

I’m feeling particularly gourdly lately.  Like all swelly and gourdly and portly… puffy… porkified?  How many P words can I use to insult myself.  Stay tuned to find out!  Part of it is because I’m a stress-eating, maniacal Jaclyn the Ripper…  the other part of it is because I’m fat… but nicely.  So, it turns out when one hypothetical person runs out of free time and is behind in textbook reading/homework, that same hypothetical person eats… because hypothetically that’s what emotional eaters do.  They eat to bury the emotion.  What would it hurt if this hypothetical idiot  just sat for a while and felt the stress?  Or what would it hurt if I… errrr… the hypothetical person talked herself through the stress instead of stuffing it down to meet up with the gangrenous portion of her toes?  It probably wouldn’t hurt at all… except for the fact that would require me to have more stress trying to find time to do above-mentioned coping mechanisms.

I’m sure if I sat my gourdly butt down and actually planned out my day, I’d find all sorts of free time… but one doesn’t see that in the moment… and clearly most every last one of you reading this here violin solo are 3000000000 times busier than I am with kids and work and everything else piled on top of the Aqua-Netted bangs, but y’all still find time to do everything and then bake a bundt cake for the school cake drive!  SOMEONE GIVE ME YOUR SUPER POWERS!!  I’m a weak individual… and kind of complainy… and anxiety-ridden, which is probably where most of the stress comes from… making a mountain out of a tiny ant farm (mole hills are so 2005)!

So, to sum it up.  CHILL THE HECK OUT, WHITNEY!!!!!!!  Good crimeny, you’re making Sybil look normal!  All I know is I have no patience for this slippery slope of bad habits in eating I seem to have jumped back onto.  Also, note to self… CHILL THE HECK OUT!

Question of the Day:  How do you handle stress?  

**** Happy Birthday (yesterday) to my long-time pal, Alena!!  It’s a rule that you’re supposed to eat like a HOG!BUTT! and sit on your patookus on your birthday.  Non-negotiable!

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Filed under Emotional Eating