Tag Archives: homework

Yep, I’m Boring…

I have nothing news-worthy to blog about this week… okay, I never really have anything that news-worthy to blog about any week, but I still manage to yammer for a decade.  I’m serious this week.  It might be more exciting to watch hot tar run down a driveway.  Let’s see… Saturdee I bought myself some new socks and a toothbrush… it was blue… the toothbrush, not the socks.  Aside from that… I worked, read 8 bajillion pages in textbooks, drooled out both sides of my mouth, and pulled at least 12 hairs out whilst trying to write Italian dialogue.  My professor told me to quit using Google Translate on my homework… uh, I didn’t… but apparently that’s how talentedly bad I am at it.  It doesn’t work to translate directly she says… and that is why I won’t be an Italian Prime Minister… well, that and every other reason you can think of.

On Saturdee, there was the deer who decided to scare the bejeebers out of me by eating shrubbery 2 feet from my noggin…

I heard this rustling/scratching noise whilst reading one of the aforementioned textbooks and thought it was LucyFur scraping up the furniture again, so I turned into Tyrannical Trudy and began yelling at her to stop.  Turns out she wasn’t in the room, but this dudette wanted to join me for tea and crumpetts (great, Bambi… you bring the tea and crumpetts).

Speaking of LucyFur, she’s adopted some more annoying habits of late… aside from the waking Whitney up 12 times a night and scratching at the furniture in her cabin fever-induced state.  There’s usually construction going on on the back canal bank these days (have I mentioned how much I love the changes they are making!?  Because… NOT!)  She hates the rumbling big truck noises and feels the need to warn the villagers every time there are loud truck rumblings and noises… and to do that she just makes more noise on top of the noise by meowing at the top of her lungs for an hour until it stops.  She’s like Lassie, except no one has been saved from the well with her efforts.  She’s also inherited my OCD qualities by having to knead around the entire edges of whatever she wants to lie down on… case in point…

Did you fall asleep?  I told you!  That was only half of it, she did knead around the entire other side before I pressed record.  You are welcome!  Become an OCD baker, LucyFur… bring in some income!

Have a great week friends… guess what… It’s February next Monday!  HALLELUJAH!

Baby BoBear pictures of the week:

He says… Give me a cookie!!

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Whirlwind Whitney…

That sounds like a very weather girl-ish name.  I may have missed my calling in life.  I can stand in front of a squiggly map and make up weather predictions that never come true all the live long day.  All’s you have to do is stick your hand out the window to know if it’s raining… unless cuzzin Bartholomew is playing a trick and spitting on you from the balcony.

This weekend was a whirlwind of EPIC proportions!  Friday, we all jaunted up to Rexburg, Idaho to attend my cute uncle’s wedding.  By we all, I mean me, madre, padre, Auntie Mel, and the walking baby-bearing fat police… aka Lindsay.  By fat police I mean, if I hear one more spiel about how she looks so fat (that will certainly melt off when she’s eating her post-baby Cinnabon) you can all call me Jenny Craig on a cracker.  My baby weight came on at about 1 year of age and I ain’t seen it go anywhere since… and it brought along approximately 85 billion of its friends.   Unfortunately, nothing worthwhile is shooting out of me in the next 9 months.  (TMI… I’m aware!)

It was nice to see the fam-damly… even if it was whirlwindy… I told JenJen I’d take pictures of actual people to send to her instead of clouds and nonsense… sorry Jen, I did not deliver very well… but I do have some fabulous cloud pictures… if you squint really hard you can pick out Uncle Phil on the one next to the sun.

Here is the cute couple when they first walked out of the temple.  I somehow feel foolish butting up in front of people with actual official-looking cameras whilst I pull out my paperweight cell phone.  Official photographer here… move out the way you people with lenses!  

Selfie!  Pictures in Rexburg are always accompanied with the “windy” look.  The wind blows 85 hours a day every day… today was no exception.  I did my hair once.  Didn’t need to.  Pictured, awesome cuzzin Jacque, the walking baby-bearing fat police, Knit-Whit, and half of Madre’s left eye.

Blessings and happiness to the new couple!  May your days always include pies… round pies!

We jaunted home Friday night because I had to work all weekend, had an 8-hour Mary Poppins practice on Saturday (aka I managed to ruin 85 costumes sewing on the eye and hook… 4-H winner y’all!!! Also, MP starts this Friday… eek!  Tickets:  www.fourseasonstheatre.org) and was also tasked with writing an entire 12-page paper on the farming techniques of the weasel due Sunday night.  I barely eeked it out between my other tasks, coughcough I may or may not have added some pictures and/or enlarged them to get me to 11 pages).  I feel tired… and accomplished… but mostly tired.  How do you all people with actual real lives do it!?!?!  😛

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Whit-Gogh In the Dark…

There were a lot of things I could have chosen to blog about this week… several happenings… several non-happenings… several rants and raves about absolutely nothing, which is usually the case.  Instead, I’ve decided to regale you… all 2 of you… with the time, this past weekend, where I turned into Ma Ingalls from Little House On the Prairie… except without all the horse crud and children… and actual hardships… and pantaloons.  So, pretty much exactly like a day in the life… except not at all!

It all started Saturday afternoon around 1-ish with an explosion in some far away power pole, which resulted in a fire, which then resulted in 17 houses being without power for the next 5-ish to 7-ish to 800-ish hours.  I have no earthly clue what folks back in the olden days… the ones without socks and shoes who walked uphill both ways to a heater-less school… did without power!  Madre or Padre… care to regale us with a tale from your childhoods?  They must have lived like hooligans!  Because Whitney was having none of it!  Firstly without power, the refrigeration system does not refrigerate, and heck if I’m in the mood for a good ole-fashioned case of the Salmonella bug… so I found out (not through the Inter-waves, mind you… power takes that away too and my phone was invented in approximately 1925) that food is only good for 4 hours in a nonworking refrigeration system.  So, of course all-things-expiration-date police was all over that and I made everyone help me buy bags of ice and put the contents of the refrigerator into coolers that we stored outside in the 30-degree weather.

Also… for the love of all things sanity… my microwave did not wave… the bathroom was pitch black… and my afternoon of planned homework time went out the window.  Who owns actual books and paper in this day and age anyway?  Five-ish to 7-ish to 800-ish hours later, after I’d safely stored my refrigerator food and confiscated the lantern from the garage cobwebs, the power finally came back on… and I swear to you I heard angels singing the Halleluah Chorus in the backyard.  No joke.

That meant I had to dig in and do actual homework, which judging by the project I was working on was full-on Kindergarten stuff.  My Earth Science professor is nothing if not eccentric, and his assignment this week was that we geezer college students should invent an alien planet with living creatures, determine a trophic pyramid of species, and finally invent at least 20 different species and draw them into a food web.  A.)  I ain’t no van Gogh… I literally flunked the stick figure art class I took in grade school.  and B.)  Um… okay.

Four hours and much cussing later, this is what it turned out like… I only wish I could change the age from 35 to 5-1/2… but then I got to thinking, van Gogh ain’t got a corner on the art market.  I could make some big bucks with my Alien Space Food Web… let’s just call it Tentacle Night.

You bet your sweet ZotFish!  Move over First Graders… I just moved into the building.

Pretty impressed with my ability to draw straight/non-crooked lines until I saw this masterpiece.  Professor Eccentric might think I bribed a preschooler to do this piece of work!

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What the!?

Ever since I found those nastee white bacterial worms roaming around my grape tomato container on Friday evening I’ve been having nightmares.  Last night I dreamt I lived in a hut amidst a whole community of white bacterial wormy things and they were slowly and gradually eating away at my flesh and multiplying by the billions.  Thank you, Biology class for putting those numbers out there into my head space.  I can’t be certain, but I’m pretty sure girl-with-a-stick-up-her-patookus-about-all-things-germs is probably the last person in the world who needs to see that.  Needless to say, despite my major grape tomato addiction, I have been cured… at least for now.  I’m sure eventually I’ll buck up and go back to eating a Sam’s Club container a week… the things are tastee on everything!  But, in the meantime, I’m going to leave that super food behind… maybe I’ll just move onto red peanut butter M&Ms.  Totally a fair calorizing trade off.  Plus, pretty sure you can eat peanut butter M&Ms with EVERYTHING!!  😛

Nextly… my Earth Science teacher, who I’m certain is a knock off on Bill Nye the Science Guy, has these mandatory “challenge projects” that he throws at us every 2 weeks.  They’re called “challenge” projects because they are meant to be a “challenge.”  I’m all like, “Eh… no big deal… as long as I read the textbook and listen to all the lectures, I should be able to ace that sucker, right!?”  WRONG!!!  I got my hands on the first challenge project this past week and if he wasn’t writing/speaking in Swahili, I’ll eat my head.  This is an INTRODUCTION to Earth Science.  I’m not a geologist.  I’m not a mathmetician.  I’m here to take this required class to learn about the Scientifical Earth… and maybe a little bit about martians.  Here’s the formula I was expected to solve to figure out via lead/uranium dating how old a rock is:

SOLVE FOR T!!!!   Oh… okay.  Easy… take the square root of shove it multiply by who gives a crap and then subtract flunked out of Calculus in high school and you should get your answer for T, which flew over my aqua-netted bangs in the 90s!  He actually said the following in the instructions:  Introductory Science textbooks do not talk about uranium-lead dating because it is so complex.  But you are a USU college student, and I think you can solve this problem.  Oh okay… well, you totes underestimated I would be in your class… aqua-netted bangs and all!

So, I attempted to solve it by myself.  For a week, I scoured the Internet for articles on uranium-lead dating, read every single one of them… watched every single YouTube video on the subject… emailed my professor 4 times… his replies back to me were still all in Swahili and he didn’t give me the answer, which I straight up asked for in the 4th email.  I even had one fellow student dude from my class email me asking if I could help HIM out.  Bwahahahahahahahahahahahaha…  I found that pretty comical.

So, I gave up, but Saturday my genius 17-year-old nephew Christian, and his genius friend, Matt were coming up, and so I twisted their arms to help me out… which they did in the space of a few hours.  Smartie pants anyway!  Now I owe them a new car or some such nonsense.  😛  Some people who are 34 might feel pathetic having a couple of brilliant 17-year-olds help them out of a jam… but not me.  Next up, I’m going to the kindergarten class and pick me out a tutor!

Meanwhile, update on the progress of the dreaded flooded room:

These are the industrial fans rying out the pavement.  I thought it was important to have the “Sorry” game in the window.  I needed to apologize.   Lucy-Fur is loving having new hiding places to burrow her head into.  The other day, I discovered her “hiding” amidst the box spring mattress and bedding.

Don’t get too comfie, Lucy-Fur.  It ain’t gonna last!

 

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Filed under Life, Lucy-Fur, School

Automatic Millionaire…

Nice book title… I actually thought it was about how to best win the lottery, automatically making me a millionaire.  Where is that book!?  They have us reading this book in my Personal Finance class.  I actually procrastinated on starting the near 300-page thing and then had only 2 days to read it and write a 5-page report on it.  If I were an automatic millionaire I wouldn’t have to worry about crap like reading… I’d just hire me a personal reader… some poor person who sat outside the bathroom door and read to me.  I’d never have to use my brain again for as long as I lived!

FYI… pretty sure author dude is NOT related to Johann Sebastian… Johann would have been the poor brother… I just learned he was a miserly dude during his lifetime.  Only after his death did his music catch on.  That’s what’s wrong with people these days.  No one cares how fabulous you are until you’ve kicked the bucket!

The book  title is a play on words.  If you automate the savings from your paycheck before you actually see it, you can eventually have a nice retirement nest egg.  It’s so sad how often my Personal Finance text refers to my 30-some-odd age as “old.”  They keep saying stuff like you need to start saving young… blah, blah, blah, blah, blah… because by the time you’re in your 30s you’ve missed a whole section of compound interest.  Anyone have any clue how I can erase approximately 10 years off my age?  I need a do over… and automatically!   This is a pretty good read if anyone wants to research how to start young and automate your millionaire status.  Forget about it if you’re geezerly like me, though.  I’m so old they might as well start scraping up my petrified wood limbs and start a fire.   JOKES!!  I did find a bunch of good advice here… now to put it into action!

Question of the Day:  Did you ever take Personal or Family Finance?  Any good book recommendations on the subject?

 

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