Tag Archives: Kenneth Krause

Eating Jerky For Breakfast…

Unless you’ve been summering with the Amish (wut up, Dunkelman), you may or may not have heard the story going around on the news and via the web about Jennifer Livingston, a news anchor who stood up to a very rude and self-righteous lawyer when he criticized her weight.   To see her response to the below smoke blowing, click on this link.  In the spirit of National Jerk Week, and since I know most of you do not speak fluent “Jerkese,” allow me to translate Kenneth Krause’s email.

It’s unusual that I see your morning show, but I did so for a very short time today. (Since the mirror I practice flexing in front of for 3 hours every morning broke.)

I was surprised indeed to witness that your physical condition hasn’t improved for many years. (As God’s gift to women, I am obviously an 11.)

Surely you don’t consider yourself a suitable example for this community’s young people, girls in particular. (I will never have a girlfriend and I’m bittered because I lost my 30 cents off a tube of Preparation H coupon.)

Obesity is one of the worst choices a person can make and one of the most dangerous habits to maintain.  (I am an idiot.) 

I leave you this note hoping that you’ll reconsider your responsibility as a local public personality to present and promote a healthy lifestyle. (Durrrrrr… bacon!)

He went on to reply after she replied to his email:

Given this country’s present epidemic of obesity and the many truly horrible diseases related thereto, and considering Jennifer Livingston’s fortuitous position in the community, I hope she will finally take advantage of a rare and golden opportunity to influence the health and psychological well-being of Coulee Region children by transforming herself for all of her viewers to see over the next year, and, to that end, I would be absolutely pleased to offer Jennifer any advice or support she would be willing to accept.

(If you were the last person on Earth and I needed a Band-Aid, I’d bleed to death.)  

My intent is not to bully a bully… and I actually wouldn’t consider Kenneth Krause’s email to be bullying… something that could lead to bullying if he persisted in being a jerkbutt; this is more just an idiot spewing his jerkiness around the interwebs.  Boy, have I met my share of them folk.  Not via the interwebs, but in real life.  They helped me define myself by my weight.  I wasn’t Whitney, the talented girl with so much to offer.  I was Whitney, the fat chic.  And that’s a shame… it really is.  Like Jennifer said in her response, we are so much more than a number on a scale.  Because I was Whitney, the fat chic, that’s all I ever thought I’d be… my self-esteem/self-confidence was in the crapper, and I didn’t think I deserved to do anything to better myself.  They won… all of those people who spoke Jerkese and shamed me for my physical appearance… they all won.

It’s time to take the power back.  We are so much more than our physical appearance.  Believe it!  Embrace it!  We deserve to know who we are and what we’re capable of.  I refuse to give any of my self-worth away to people from the planet Jerkazoid!  You best believe it!

Question of the Day:  Would you consider his email bullying?  What constitutes a bully? 


Filed under Inspiration