Tag Archives: kitchen kneads


This will be on the quiz, y’all people who are in 2nd grade… PIE!  Madre found a coupon for a Kitchen Kneads cooking class, buy 1 get 1 free… and she soooo wanted to go to the pie making class.  Even though she’s already a famous pie maker… and by famous I mean familially famous.  I decided I would tag along because what says Thanksgiving more than Pie!?!?  Shush, you turkey people!  The chances of me ever having the desire to make a pie are pretty much negative 8 trillion and 45.  It just makes me want to marathon the series “Watching Paint Dry” for the millionth time thinking of all the crust -making steps (side note… there is no official series named “Watching Paint Dry,” but I do it regularly via a place called the wall in my room.)  The freezer section has pies… what’s the point!?

So, we went to the class.  The teacher was a lady who is the head pastry chef up at Deer Valley Resort in Park City, Utah… pretty much this fancy pancy place where rich people congregate and point and stare at the chic who can’t figure out why there are 13 forks next to her place setting.  Needless to say, I do better with plastic silverware at the taco joint.

Letty Flatt is her name and pastry making is her game.  On the menu for this particular class was 3 different items… the first was a Cranberry Pear Torte… SHUT THE FRONT DOOR, REGIS PHILBIN was that thing deliciousfull!

This isn’t the actual torte… I found this online because I was once again too embarrassed to stand up in the middle of the class and start taking pictures.  Let me preface this by saying, I’m not a huge pear fan.  I don’t like the gritty texture of a pear. but the combination of these flavors was dee-vine… oh Holy Night!  All she did was halve the pears, soak them in some briney thing with ginger, and put them in a circular fashion on the crust.  Easy and tastee!

Next up was a Maple Galette with an almond crust.  I can’t find a picture of that one, but it’s one of those baked custardy-type desserts… I call them contained mucusy phlegm.  It was delicious as well… despite my word painting of idiocy!

Last, but not least, a Letty Flatt invention… Orange-Pumpkin-Chocolate Pie.  Sounds disgusting right?  WRONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I thought it would be gross!  Who puts orange flavor with pumpkin flavor with chocolate!  That there is a sin to the chocolate people!  But it tasted like I was eating warmed up chocolate-covered orange sticks in a crust with pumpkin pie.  Does anyone know those jelly orange sticks covered in chocolate that are pretty much the best thing in the universe!?

Despite the class ending up being almost 3 hours long… (GILLIGAN!?!?!?!), it was worth it to finally get to taste test the things at the end of it all.  There were 2 older ladies sitting in front of us who were not fans of any of the pies and kept muttering about it under their breath, but I think it’s because the pie flavors were too new fangled dangled… where’s the apple pie, lady!!  Good Grief!  Sincerely, The Senior Citizen Brigade.

Question of the Day:  Do you have a favorite flavor of pie?  Do you make your own pies?  

HAPPY TURKEY-GIVING Y’ALL USA-ITES!  Because it is a national holiday tomorrow and national trample-the-weak-folk-in-a-store day on Friday, I will not be blogging Thursday and Friday… but should return on Monday to get week 3’s accountability for Operation:  No More FatMas!  Don’t y’all forget about it.   Enjoy the holiday and I’ll see you on the other side!


Filed under Food

Schmappetizers and Sides, Oh My!

I’m totally pumped that so many people signed up for the Operation:  No More FatMas gig!  Let’s get this thang, motivated people!  Y’all rock it!  One of my pals brought up something in the comments and I thought I’d throw it out there.  She thought it would be cool to sweeten the pot if anyone who was able wanted to throw in 10 bucks to the prize.  I am NOT making this a requirement because I know not everyone is able.  If you have the money and want to throw some in, holler my way.  If not, we will carry on as usual!  No guilt!


Back when I had extra TV watching time (since school started I’ve scaled it back DRAMASTICALLY) I used to sit for decades on end watching cooking shows on the Food Network/Cooking Channel.  The things fascinate me.  It doesn’t matter what they’re making either.  Some chic was making haggis one time and I was all mesmerized by a sheep intestine!  I think it’s because it’s soothing to me.  Someone talking about food and how to cook it for half an hour in a hypnotic tone of voice?  YES, PLEASE!  But, let’s face it… it’s food… I once weighed 530 pounds… basically put a Twinkie on a string and dangle it in front of me for 8 hours and I’d be in full droolation mode!

So, when I have opportunity to go to a live cooking class with taste testing, I’d be a crazy jackalope to say no!  Last week, Madre and I headed to Kitchen Kneads to attend their Holiday Appetizers and Sides class!  I was unable to secure an edge seat, so I was claustrophobic the whole class, but I still enjoyed myself.  Even when I was monitoring how many times the 3 ladies teaching the class did NOT wash their hands after manhandling the food.  Of course, I’m not your best handwashing judge since I happen to wash my hands with soap after pretty much anything I touch.  It’s tedious and gives my hands that pleasant roughened, flaking leather feel, but that’s how I have to roll up here in the Psychos For Germs ward.  For the record, these chics never used soap once… not that I was counting or anything!

I didn’t get to taste test all of the recipes they made because some of them contained meat… bitter that she made a beautiful-looking salad with strawberries and craisins and sweet and spicy almonds and all sorts of yumminess and then she poured 2 pounds of bacon on top of it.  THE NERVE!!  I even, for the first time in my entire lifetime, actually enjoyed a yam… maybe because it was mixed with apples and covered in a sugary butter sauce… but STILL!  That there is progress… 7-year-old taste buds… at LEAST!

There was a delectable-looking cheese ball and a yummeriferous fruit salsa with homemade baked cinnamon/sugar tortilla chips.  There was a surprisingly yummy crustini with pears and stinky cheese and pine nuts on the top.  One of the ladies also gave a great tip on how to make your cheese ball look like a frigging turkey for the festiveness factor.  Take a slice of red pepper (for the head), secure a slice of yellow pepper for the gobbler, and then make eyes out of raisins.  The feathers are various-shaped crackers poked into the back of the rounded cheese ball.  I’d have gotten pictures, but I was too embarrassed… let me get a picture of you for my wall of creepy, lady!  

I’m thinking I’m going to up and make some of the above-mentioned recipes for meal plans throughout the holee-day season.

Question of the Day:  Do you enjoy cooking demonstrations?  Any favorites on the Food Network?  How did you do on Day 1 of the Operation?

PS- Y’all… I don’t even care who wins the election tonight… by this time tomorrow, please no one tell me they’re thinking about moving to Canada… for serious… that joke went out back when Abe Lincoln got elected!  😛  Also, I am going to be so dagnabbed happy when I never in my lifetime have to see another political backstabbing ad… PUH-LEASE… what are we… kindergartners?  Someone done peed in your sandbox?  I hate all this contention… I need someone to hold hands with me and sing Kumbaya!


Filed under Food, Getting A Life

Pressuring My Cooker…

You may remember that I went and bought myself an electric pressure cooker a few months back.  We just happened to get a flyer in the mail with the schedule for the local store, Kitchen Kneads cooking classes and lo and behold they had a dagnabbed class on how to use your pressure cooker!  Sign me the heck up.  It only took 3 people 45 minutes to get the lid on the first time, might as well see what else I’m doing wrong!  Saturday, Madre and I attended a full class on the subject.

The instructor made 4 dishes during the class using 4 different pressure cookers… the cupboard space that must require!  I could only eat 2 of the 4 since I’m one of those annoying non-meat-eating chicks.  I got a plate of mushy broccoli… it was only mushy because she didn’t hear the beep telling her that it was done and that she needed to turn it to pressure release so it ended up cooking too long… but it did have some mighty good flavors on it.  Some lemony concoction with this new spice mixture we went and bought a bottle of… Spuds or something… it pretty much had every herbal remedy known to man stuffed inside one convenient bottle… and it was pretty tastee too!  I almost asked for a straw for my broccoli… but you better believe I choked down every last bite… despite my hatred of all things mush!  She then served a pork chow mein over brown rice (which Madre said was delicious).  I might give that one a go without the meat and then use nuts as my protein or a side of beans.  I’m getting a lot better at including more protein in my diet… honey boo boo child!  😛  There was then a break while the other 2 dishes finished cooking… aka please shop our store and buy tons of things you don’t need!!  We walked out of there with a pressure cooker cookbook, the spuds spice, 2 cleany dealy majigs to get down in the cracks and crevices of your cooker, and then have our name on the list for a rubber rack to steam vegetables in your cooker on.  The power of persuasion.  She told us we needed it, so we done went and bought it!  She also tried to talk us into buying a bottle of vanilla with black speckles in it for $150.00 (I did not stutter), but I somehow managed to knock a welt in my head large enough to forget that idea.

After the “break” aka give us all your money extravaganza, we went back to try the Acapulco Chicken with rice (Madre loved this one too… it had blood orange peels in it)… and last but not least… this concoction:

Kinda looks like something the deer gave in the backyard, don’t it… BAMBI!!!!!  Pralines and Cream Bread Pudding…  I can tell you that before Saturday I had NEVER in my lifetime had a bread pudding.  It just sounded nasty to me… soggy bread?  Um… PASS!!  Plus, if the dessert didn’t have chocolate on it, you’d likely not see me going out of my way to order it.  I tried the dish with an open mind, mostly since I really needed something to get the mushy broccoli taste out of my mouth with!  I gotta say… I didn’t hate it.  It was quite tasty.  Different than anything I’d ever tried before.  I can’t say that if given the choice between a brownie and this concoction I’d ever go for this concoction, but you can’t win anything when chocolate is involved!

She even gave us a spiffer tip on how to concoct a handle to get the bowl out of the pressure cooker without burning your hands to death:

Ta da… instant aluminum foil handle… and afterwards you can try sticking it into the plug outlets if you need a jolt of some kind!  All in all it was a successful class… I’m planning on making some of the concoctions I dug out of the new pressure cooker cookbook for next week’s menu.  Neighbors… no need to call the ambulance unless I yell FIRE!!


Question of the Day:  Do you like bread pudding?  Do you have a favorite flavor? 


Filed under Food