Tag Archives: Knitting

Life Lessons and Knitting…

Remember that time many moons and leap years ago (aka earlier this year in February) when I took an introductory course to knitting at the local high school?  Remember that time I made owls and slippers and dish cloths and hats and pin cushions and all manner of knitting gloriousness?  Remember how I was going to become a professional knitter in my dreams and sit around all day making tea cozies?  Remember!?!?!?!?!?!?!?


Good… because neither did I!  It’s been a couple of months since I picked up the needles.  I did pretty well in the winter months… I guess it’s easier to have a pound of lamb wool sitting on your lap when it’s cold outside.  I decided to try to pick it up again this past week.  I had a project in mind and a deadline to meet.  It’s been 5 days and it took me those 5 days to relearn how to start a slip knot.  The HUMANITY!!  It’s sad how fast something leaves my noggin when I’m not doing it on a regular basis.  Once I got the slip knot relearned and then relearned how to cast on yet again, the basic knitting stitches came back to me pretty easily… I said the BASIC stitches.  I’m still staring at the pattern trying to figure out how the dagnabbed alien I’m supposed to read this chart thing she provides.  My teacher just told me what to do in her patterns… this chick has diagrams and things written in Gaelic.

I learn a lot about myself through knitting… the biggest thing?  I’m a perfectionist and I can’t deal with having a mistake sitting willy nilly in my project.  I unravel it and start all over… which is totally stupid and frustrating.  I’d get hours into a project, only to start from scratch when I accidentally purled instead of knitted.  The smart way would be just to learn how to fix that one mistake, but that never feels right to me… I just start over and throw away all that hard work.

And so it is with every other aspect of my life.  Weight loss… nothing is ever ever EVER going to go perfectly there.  It’s a dagnabbed given.  So, why am I so hard on myself when it doesn’t go perfectly and why can’t I just brush that one mistake off and move ahead instead of saying things like, Well… this day is a wash… might as well eat what I want and start again tomorrow…  The weekend is coming up and I have this and this and this… no way to get in sensible eating… I’ll start again Monday.  Madness!!  The smarter idea would be to just move on with the day as if it was going to be a perfect day.  There is never going to be a perfect time to start something… nothing will ever fall into that perfect place.  Figure out how to make it fit into the imperfectness and revel in your imperfection.  That’s life… and I’d go into that song by Frank Sinatra here, but I vowed to be 10% less cheesy and this is where that 10% is going to pay off… big time.  You are welcome.

Question of the Day:  Do you consider yourself a perfectionist?  Any tips on how to reign that in? 



Filed under Calorizing, Inspiration

National Chocolate and Sugar Binging Day…

That’s my new name for today’s holee-day.  We, as a human race are clueless.  Do we not understand that the invention of Valentine’s day was thought up by a sounding board made up of Hallmark people, chocolate people, and flower growers with a few Victoria Secret (what the helium balloon is Victoria’s secret anyway?  Is she really a man?  If any of you uncover the secret, let me know ASAP!) chicks thrown into the mix.  Seriously?!?!?!?  Why does there need to be a special day in which you stop off at the 7-11 on the way home from work because you forgot to get something for your loved one and if you don’t get something for your loved one, you’ll be living in the dog house for eternity!  And it’s too dagnabbed bad if you don’t have a dog or a house because then basically the garbage can is your next best option… right after sewer drain.  And then hygiene goes to pot and  you start being known as the dude who smells like moldy feet and then basically you wander the streets wearing a cardboard box with a rotted banana peel on top of your head because it’s raining and you live in Seattle!  THE HUMANITY!  See the psychological harm this day can cause!?  I just can’t live with it anymore!!!!!!

Deep breaths, Sybil… deep breaths!

I do love me some chocolate and some frosted sugar cookies from the Grist Mill the size of my liver, and the bane of my existence seems to be yelling FEED ME in it’s loudest fat multiplying voice… why yes my fat cells talk… don’t  yours?  So, basically, I’ll eat my sugar cookie and I’ll exercise to burn the sucker off.  The Hallmark Coalition went to all that work to make sure this was the best possible binging day and who am I to pooper up the par-tay?  So, anyway… all this to say… Happy Freaking Sewer Dwelling Valentine’s Day, friends!!


Meanwhile… my knitting addiction is hitting new highs… apparently I just bought enough yarn to make an afghan the size of Afghanistan… no joking around.  And now I’ve added my owl addiction to my knitting addiction and I went and made this:

Except, I don’t really know how to work with 2 different colors of yarn in the same row, so I had to do a LOT of additional doctoring to make it stick together and I wouldn’t be surprised if I walked out into the living room and find it in unraveled in a pile of yarn.  Do any of you knitters have any tips on how to do 2 colors in the same row so that there aren’t so many hanging stringers?  Obviously, it was wayyy above my skill level… but he makes me smile anyway!

Question of the Day:  Do you have an Valentine’s Day plans?  Which kind of sugary treat is your favorite?


Filed under Chocolate

There’s a Hole In My Head!!!

So, I finished my knitted hat project… booya… and much to my delight it fits over the monstrous noggin I’ve got going on up in this here joint.  I’d like to say that the bigger the noggin, the more brains… but come on… we ALL know that ain’t the truth.  Pea-sized is pretty smallish.

You will notice that I haven’t dared to trim the hangy strings yet… I’m afraid I will somehow unravel the sucker. So, I’ll just tell people they are the rip cords for the built-in parachute I done knitted into my hat project.  Because I refused to have a pom pom hanging out on my head, there’s also a hole in the top of the hat… most likely a representation of my leaking brain cells!

It’s a miracle I finished it alive and well.  I was getting nervous as I was knitting along and my hands were turning blue.  I was sure it was poor circulation and I almost drove myself to the emergency room.  Thank goodness I washed my hands before I left and it washed the blueness off.  False alarm… just a Smurfing episode.  Come to find out blue/purple yarn dye is the bleediest of the bunch!  None of the other class had my same problem, so I consider myself extra special… it was a dagnabbed Smurfey Blessing!  I can’t wait until I wear it outside, take it off and my whole head is dyed blue!!!!!  I’ve always wanted to look like a blueberry!  Bring it on, Smurfette!!!

Have a splendiferous weekend, my friends.  Thanks for reading my ramblings… even if most of the time I make as much sense as a parachute sewed into a knitted hat!


Filed under Little Things

The Stupid Limit…

Four weeks into beginning knitting class and I’ve invented a new stitch… I like to call it the Whitney Obviously Does Not Follow Instructions stitch.  We made dish cloths this past week… which was supposed to be the easy week and it was totes the easy week.  I sped through my dishcloth like it weren’t no thing… but I kept noticing a weird ridge around the edges of my “decrease” rows (you knitting folks will totes know what I’m talking about… all others, go back to bed… professional knitters talking here!)  I kept knitting to the end of the project, took it to class tonight and the instructor took one look at it and was all like… how in the world did you do that!?!?!?!?!?!?!?  She could literally not figure out what I’d done.  I honestly don’t know what I did either… I was absolutely sure I’d followed the instructions to a T… no one else’s dish rag looked like mine.  I’ve obviously crossed the threshold into knitting savantness… you all are basking in the glow of an idiot… erm… I mean Genius!!!!!!!  😛

Meanwhile… the new project we started tonight was a “simple” hat… and we’re using a new type of needle method… the circular needles.  Oooooo….. ahhhhhh…. D’OH!  I’m knitting along on my fabulous circular needles… knitting and knitting and knitting… and I’m hating every second of these new needles.  My knitting is tight and it’s tough to wield the needle under the tight stitches and then I keep noticing the yarn is getting tighter and tighter and smaller and smaller… but I keep going because I’m obviously a knitting genius… I made up a stitch for crying out loud!!!!!!!  And then it hits me when I’m in the shower tonight inhaling my new Molten Chocolate body wash.  The pattern instructions read to knit 2, purl 2, knit 2, purl 2… I read that as KNIT 2 stitches together, Purl 2 stitches together… so what I’ve been doing this entire time is halving the length of the circumference of my hat everytime I get to a new round… obviously I’m knitting a hat the size of a potato bug.  No wonder it’s so dagnabbed hard… unless my head shrinks to potato bug status come next Tuesdee… I’m in a world of hurt.  I guess I best undo the thing and start over.  Someone needs to follow me around and translate these instructions into Knit-Whit languate… talk to me like I’m 4… I’ll totes understand that!!!

Question of the Day:  Are you an instruction reader or do you prefer to figure it out by doing it? 


Filed under Getting A Life

Knit Whit…

Operation Get Through Winter With A Smile On My Face is still in full force!  I said I was going to sign up for classes to have something to look forward to and so far  I’ve kept my word.  It’s also to avoid the winter eat-everything-in-sight-because-I’m-having-feelings syndrome I seem to adopt every winter.   I’ve already talked about my first class, the Beginning Digital Photography class I took back in November/December for 6 weeks.  The new class I signed up for… wait for it… Beginning Knitting.  That was the only one in the Logan School District brochure that stood out to me… there was something about Beginning Welding, but let’s just say I’d rather have 2 feet without any holes bored through them.   Craftiness has never been my forte… time to take over the knitting world!  😛

I’ve actually been cross stitching and embroidering for a few years now.  I find it beneficial to have something keeping my hands and my brain busy at all times… avoids the boredom munchies and my favorite numbdumb eating disease… I also have ADD, so changing up the skillz every once in a while is a must.  Man, now that I think about it, I may actually have the most pathetic reasons to eat excuses on the planet, Voldemar!

The class started 3 weeks ago… each week we meet in the Logan High “Media Center” aka the LIBRARY… seriously, get the fancy made-up name things out of here… let’s call a duck what it is… a weasel!!!  So, we meet in there and we learn how to knit for 2+ geezerly hours every Tuesday night.  The instructor is super patient and hallelujah for that because you have Knit Whit asking some pathetic question every 30 seconds…

Knit Whit:  So, what’s this fibery stuff called?
Instructor of Knit Whit:  Yarn.
Knit Whit:  Oh, is that what it looks like?

Needless to say, I’m definitely the most challenged of the class… though I take comfort in the fact that there are only 4 of us.  The first week our project was to make a “nested pin cushion”… Mine started out looking like a holey pile of fibery stuff:

Purty sure I’m not supposed to have holes in the thing big enough to stick my nose through… in fact I think that may be a fact.  I actually ended up undoing this one as it was my first knitting experience and doing it over again.

That’s a little better… the finished product?

I guess now I have to buy me some pins to put in my new cushion… Last week’s project was “family slippers,” which was all fine and dandy, except I found out when I was about 2/3 of the way done with my 2nd slipper that my family’s feet are too dagnabbed long and and that the instructor provided me with yarn the color of which went out of production last year… WHAT!?!?!?!?!?!?!?  So, now I have one periwinkle slipper and one periwinkle/red slipper.  I tried to hide that fact by making red pom poms for both of them, but it ain’t done a dagnabbed thing but draw attention to the red splotch!

Stupid clown feet clodhoppers anyway… I blame my mother!  This week’s project is dish cloths… at least I know the difference between a yarn and a thread now… I’m well on my way to knitting savantness!  😛

Question of the Day:  Have you ever knitted/crocheted?  What do you make? 



Filed under Getting A Life