This will be on the quiz, y’all people who are in 2nd grade… PIE! Madre found a coupon for a Kitchen Kneads cooking class, buy 1 get 1 free… and she soooo wanted to go to the pie making class. Even though she’s already a famous pie maker… and by famous I mean familially famous. I decided I would tag along because what says Thanksgiving more than Pie!?!? Shush, you turkey people! The chances of me ever having the desire to make a pie are pretty much negative 8 trillion and 45. It just makes me want to marathon the series “Watching Paint Dry” for the millionth time thinking of all the crust -making steps (side note… there is no official series named “Watching Paint Dry,” but I do it regularly via a place called the wall in my room.) The freezer section has pies… what’s the point!?
So, we went to the class. The teacher was a lady who is the head pastry chef up at Deer Valley Resort in Park City, Utah… pretty much this fancy pancy place where rich people congregate and point and stare at the chic who can’t figure out why there are 13 forks next to her place setting. Needless to say, I do better with plastic silverware at the taco joint.
Letty Flatt is her name and pastry making is her game. On the menu for this particular class was 3 different items… the first was a Cranberry Pear Torte… SHUT THE FRONT DOOR, REGIS PHILBIN was that thing deliciousfull!
This isn’t the actual torte… I found this online because I was once again too embarrassed to stand up in the middle of the class and start taking pictures. Let me preface this by saying, I’m not a huge pear fan. I don’t like the gritty texture of a pear. but the combination of these flavors was dee-vine… oh Holy Night! All she did was halve the pears, soak them in some briney thing with ginger, and put them in a circular fashion on the crust. Easy and tastee!
Next up was a Maple Galette with an almond crust. I can’t find a picture of that one, but it’s one of those baked custardy-type desserts… I call them contained mucusy phlegm. It was delicious as well… despite my word painting of idiocy!
Last, but not least, a Letty Flatt invention… Orange-Pumpkin-Chocolate Pie. Sounds disgusting right? WRONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I thought it would be gross! Who puts orange flavor with pumpkin flavor with chocolate! That there is a sin to the chocolate people! But it tasted like I was eating warmed up chocolate-covered orange sticks in a crust with pumpkin pie. Does anyone know those jelly orange sticks covered in chocolate that are pretty much the best thing in the universe!?
Despite the class ending up being almost 3 hours long… (GILLIGAN!?!?!?!), it was worth it to finally get to taste test the things at the end of it all. There were 2 older ladies sitting in front of us who were not fans of any of the pies and kept muttering about it under their breath, but I think it’s because the pie flavors were too new fangled dangled… where’s the apple pie, lady!! Good Grief! Sincerely, The Senior Citizen Brigade.
Question of the Day: Do you have a favorite flavor of pie? Do you make your own pies?
HAPPY TURKEY-GIVING Y’ALL USA-ITES! Because it is a national holiday tomorrow and national trample-the-weak-folk-in-a-store day on Friday, I will not be blogging Thursday and Friday… but should return on Monday to get week 3’s accountability for Operation: No More FatMas! Don’t y’all forget about it. Enjoy the holiday and I’ll see you on the other side!