I hope no one is laboring on this holiday of labor… but if you are, make it a good one. I’m in the midst of banging my head against a wall back in Italian class… this will be my last semester of Italian, and it was 3 semesters too many! Whitney and languages are like dogs and cats, except with a bit less barking and teeth gnashing… scratch that… a bit MORE barking and teeth gnashing. My brain only holds information that interests me apparently. And since we NEVER talk about pizza and spaghetti and the beautiful Italian countryside in the actual Italian class, I mostly just sing “This Is The Song That Never Ends” over and over on repeat silently in my brain folds. Picking a major that requires 5 semesters of a foreign language was probably not my brightest move. The gift of tongues was not in my gift bag on the day of my birth, I’ll tell you that right now! The gift of teeth gnashing, on the other hand, was given to me in spades!!
The other class I have is my last requirement for my English minor… Perspectives in Literature. I’ve taken an English class from this particular professor before and he was 12 kinds of sweet to me, so he best step up his sweet game… aka give me an A+! It’s a lot of reading, so we’ll see if I can manage to reign in my ADD brain.
In other news, a few nights ago there was a mini tornado (aka the wind just blew really hard) and knocked several large branches out of the 800 old trees in the yard, so now I’m sporting 3 blisters/pressure sores in the web spaces between my thumb and forefinger from maneuvering a rake/broom for too long. They should really put a disclaimer on those rakes/brooms… DISCLAIMER: Do not use if you have the skin of a wimpy fairy lepper! I’m pretty sure normal people with normal skin would not have the same issues. Hear!? Meanwhile, some poor person in Africa is sweeping their dirt floor with a digdabbed porcupine fashioned into a broom… SHUT IT, WHITNEY!
Here’s some BoBo cake bonus footage wherein he gets upset that people are ruining his precious kitty cat cake! For the love of kitty cats, leave cake kitty alone!!
Lookit my new cows, errybody… I gonna be in the rodeo!
I would just like to point out that for the last 2 hours my brain has been unnecessarily fuming over the lyrics to the song My Funny Valentine. The ironic part of this fumation is that My Funny Valentine just so happens to be my brain’s go-to singsong whilst in the shower. I don’t know why this is. I have never actually sang the song in public. I don’t even particularly like the song made famous by Frank Sinatra and others about 3 billion years ago when the dinosaurs roamed the Wally World aisles. It’s an earworm of a song. And I’m fuming over the lyrics because… how dare he call her looks laughable and unphotographable… who died and made him Fabio but a lot hotter and with less hair? I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter has never tasted the same, Fabio hair! I’m really showing my age during this blog post!
I blame my over-analysis of random song lyrics on the fact that my literature class this semester often goes three hours discussing one small phrase in a poem. Oh by golly… beat my ears in with dumbbells! I kid you not… a few Tuesdays ago we went 3 hours discussing whether a pebble is considered a rock in this poem that wasn’t even about a dang pebble or a dang rock. It’s like having to listen to your Great Uncle Ulceritis go on for a billion years about passing a kidney stone. Well, it got stuck up near the urethra and from there it just sorta set there.
I think there’s a place for analyzing a person’s words and then there’s NOT a place for over-analyzing a person’s words to death! Maybe she/he just meant it was a rock… period… No, it does not represent the darkness of his/her soul or a secret nod to the fact that he/she can’t bake bread products. It’s just a rock and it happened to be a word in the poem… MOVING ON! I think it’s safe to say that I will not be a book critic or a urologist in my second lifetime.
In other news… time flies when you’re over-analyzing. Tomorrow is the day I have to sign up for classes for spring semester that starts in January… spring semester my rear patookus… more like inversion semester. I’m having trouble deciding on a 2nd class. I have to take Spanish 1020, but the 2nd one I’m trying to pick one that looks real easy like and my powers of brain psychicness are on vacation with the above-mentioned song analyzation. Is there a class that condones napping for 3 hours during the actual class time and still acing the test… Sleeping 1010. Sign me up.
This here is what happens with over analysis… your skiing creepy husband has to carry your head around on a pitchfork. Stay away from analysis, friends!
You know that feeling when a big ole sumo wrestler wearing puppy slippers is sitting on your chest whilst you’re trying to walk up a flight of stairs? Anyone? That’s my definition of what it feels like when you’re out of shape (aka haven’t exercised regularly in 2+ months). It actually doesn’t take very long to get back to that feeling of I might croak walking a city block. The good news is… it’s reversible… glory hallelujah Gertrude and Beelzebub! I can’t tell you how good it has felt to exercise regularly these past 3 weeks… dagnabbed good. Of course, there will be a time when I forget that feeling… it happens… but when I do someone hire that same puppy-slipper-wearing sumo wrestler dude to come and remind me what a dimbat I’ve become… okay!? The first thing that’s semi awesome… EXERCISE!!
Numero next thing that’s semi-awesome… this literature class I’ve been taking this semester. I’ve never been a huge reader… PASS. I’ve always chalked it up to time… but mostly ADD attention span. I pretend I love to read a book on a nice summer evening out on the deck. The truth is, I have the book open, but my mind is too busy calculating the amount of Junebugs falling from the tree limbs or the fact that Mr. Neighbor who shall remain nameless is getting into his hot tub nekked again. Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…. don’t tell anyone. This literature class is cool in that the literature is short stories, poetry, and dramatic plays. So, I guess my attention span doesn’t have to be as long as if it were a 5-billion-page book. And the stories have been interesting (coughcough… I said STORIES… pass on most of the poetry). It also includes stuff from all different years from the 1600s to the 21st century. I’m not going to lie… Shakespeare makes my eyes roll back into my head… but that’s just because I have to do a lot of Internet research after reading one of his poems… just to know what the helium balloons boy be talking about. Literature class… Fun stuff!
Next thing that’s semi-awesome… The Garden! I literally cry approximately 8 times per rehearsal… 5 of those times it’s because I’ve totally messed up the notes/words… but the other 3 times it’s legitimately because the material is powerfully beautiful… even if the name of one of my solos is What Good Will I Ever Be? Those of you who live in the valley and need a good cryfest/feel good program, I’d totally recommend coming to the production, April 8th through 11th at Sky View High Auditorium… Tickets!! CoughcoughShamelessPlugCoughCough… allergy season… get over it.
Things that are not awesome… my car had to be towed up to the service station tonight. Boo Hiss… I have plenty of extra money to spend on you… this arm brace I own only cost me $15,000.00… that leaves the other million I have lying around for the car repair! Beulah the Buick has decided it’s not in her best interest to start some of the time. Last Thursday I had to walk home from the grocery store. She started right up soon after though. Today, the result was not so favorable… thus the reason she was towed. Stupid Beulah! She needs to be getting with the above-mentioned semi-awesome things and changing her attitude… STAT!
Question of the Day: What’s one semi-awesome thing going on in your life right now?