Tag Archives: Mary Poppins

Construction…

Day 24 billion and 52 on the canal construction front. Basically what happens is they start at 6:30 or 7:00 in the morning directly in the backyard with their 12 billion tractors and dump trucks rumbling up the whole house. Whitney turns into Negative Nelda and starts cussing at no one in particular because to cuss at someone in particular means I’d have to talk to someone who is a person… and we can’t have that. It feels like the whole house is being invaded by an entire football team and their tailgating parties. Then, Whitney shakes her fist at the world (because that’s what my grammy Ella used to do) and says, “World… you win!” and then proceeds to zombie her way through the day on 12 minutes of sleep. So far, so good… and the scenery is just beautiful… tons of big exotic cats using the canal bank as their urinal… (bwahahaha… get it!?) Them’s the kind of jokes y’all get on 12 minutes of sleep. You are welcome!

I didn’t bother to doctor up the pictures because… what’s the point. The workers are walking around in mud central too… demolishing any sign of brown weed that may have turned into a green weed in the next few months. Let’s take a few moments for the brown weeds of the world. I’m not sure how long it takes to bury a 4-foot tall black tube, but they’ve been working on it now for 7 years it seems and the tube is still sitting on top of the dirt. For serious, fellas. What ya’ been doing at 6:30 in the morning!? Hanging out by the Honey Bucket most likely. Granted, this winter has not been the easiest to work in. It’s been frightfully cold up this way and I can imagine hanging out in 2 feet of snow trying to dig a trench in the dirt isn’t on anyone’s list of favorite things to do.

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In less griping news… I finally got a copy of our group Mary Poppins picture. Oh memory lane.

Happy happy birfday to my sis, Lindser Poodle Pie Honey Bunches of Oats on Thursday! You’ve come a long way since you were a horrible teenage babysitter and told the kids to sit down and shut up! Now, you’re a great mommy! Hope you get all the tablecloths in the world on your special day! Love and all that stuff, Whitty Woo Hoo.

BoBo Pictures of the week:

Hi gramma… I help you get them teethins out…

Hold still… almost got ’em…

Good job, baby BoBo!

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“With Every Job When It’s Complete There Is A Sense of Bittersweet”

‘Tis done.  Except for one more evening tomorrow starring as the cleanup/set-striking crew, Mary Poppins is in the past tense.  I’m feeling conflicted.  On the one hand, I’m grateful to not have to feel so hectic trying to fit everything into a day, and on the other hand, though I kicked and screamed and thought I wouldn’t do it over and over and over, it turned out to be a great experience for me.  I don’t step out of my comfort zone enough… I just don’t.  And the fact that I conquered my weird social anxieties (with plenty of awkwarding up the joint), my non-dancing skillz (let’s face it, Whitney loves to dance, but dancing has an aversion to Whitney and often makes her look like a seizing walrus cub), my extreme fear of ruining a production, and being fitted for and wearing a costume is like a monumental thing in my book of Whacky and Out Of This World Weird Issues and Aversions (Hitting shelves the 9th of Neverember).

I cannot say enough about the kindness and patience shown me by the lot of the cast and crew.  The directors, choreographers, and musical directors who took me under their wings and taught me about owning my actions, the wardrobe mistress who was so kind and non-judgmental, the cast who put up with my corny nervous frittery jokes and still accepted me anyway.  The leads, Sarah Huff and Tyler Whitesides who don’t own a mean bone in their entire bodies, extremely talented, gracious with their time and compliments, and absolutely ZERO egoes… which can also be said about every last one of the folks in charge of this beautiful musical… behind and in front of the scenes.  It is an experience I will never forget… and one that I will look back on with fondness.  My part in this production was so very miniscule, but I was always made to feel like we were all a part of this fabulous thing that had record-breaking audiences during all 8 shows.

I had a friend say to me who has seen nearly every broadway show known to man (we call her the “ticket lady” Hi Karen)… “The difference between this production and a professional broadway one is a feeling of love.”  She said there was so much love and warmth and feeling behind each of the characters on the stage, and she never gets that from the Broadway productions because they are in it for the money.  I’ve thought a lot about that since… and it’s true… everyone who worked on this production did it because they loved the work.  They loved acting and singing and dancing.  They loved creating sets and costumes and marketing advertisements.  They loved the behind the scenes stage crewing and making things run like an oiled machine.  It was a production full of a lot of heart and warmth and LOVE. Four Seasons Theatre Company is a gift, Cache Valley people.  I hope you all support future productions from these wonderful people.  They deserve all the accolades they get!

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I had so many wonderful family and friends who showed up.  I love and appreciate you all… every last one of you whacky wonderful wildabeasts.  I’d name you all individually, but I know I’d forget some and then the list wouldn’t be complete.  I also could have kicked myself that I didn’t think to take more pictures.  It’s always the after thought!  Here are a few of the ones people did take and send me…

My darling cuzzin’s kids, Baylee and Owen (Hi Mark and Jenalee)!

My other darling cuzzin’s, Makayla and Corbin (whatup, Angie and Ryan)!

My momma!

My sweet best bud since we were 10 and she whacked a soccer ball at my nose and broke my glasses (no hard feelings, obviously), who just so happened to win the award for furthest traveler to attend… Alena and her oldest daughter Kayla came from Wisconsin!!  They came for other things too, but the sweetness of this girl cannot be matched y’all!

I also met some fabulous new friends in this production, which I also didn’t get many pictures of!

The delightful Stephanie (aka Mrs. Lark) and her bag of peanut M&Ms.

The delightful Leann who was patient enough to teach me the ropes!  (sorry… I had to cut my face out of this one… I looked like the dude from The Goonies squinting into the camera… note to self… wear glasses).

The delightful Cece who put up with my sarcastic jabs and then jabbed right on back (she also never washes her face… obviously).

Some of the beautiful ladies (inside and out) from the “band room dressing room”, Tara, Leann, Amy, Rory, Rachel, some bird woman, and Stephanie.

Thank you all for making my experience that much better.  I am blessed to know some top notch, cream of the crop, non-whackadoodle people!  Keep on keeping on, friends!

PS – For remembering purposes, I meant to post about the snafu I had on closing night.  During 7 of the 8 productions and all 4 of the technical and dress rehearsals, I had absolutely no issues with my microphone.  NONE.  It just so happened that on the final night, my mic did not work when I started to sing.  I felt something was off when I started singing but couldn’t put a finger on it until I realized that there was no vocal projection.  Heck if I knew what to do, but the pro that is Sarah Huff (Mary Poppins) sprung into action, walked over to me and knelt a few inches from my face so that I could be picked up on her microphone.  Did I tell you, no ego on that girl?  We weren’t able to do any of our normal acting or blocking of the scene as we had to be so close together to share her mic, so I’m sure it looked a bit weird and awkward, but that she had the presence of mind to come over there and knew what to do was a neat experience.  Afterwards I heard talk that she said no one had to tell her to walk over… she felt she was prompted by the spirit to walk over and help me out, and she heeded that feeling.  Thank you for sacrificing your performance for mine, Sarah!  You are a gem of a person!

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The Fountain of Not Youth….

What’s the opposite of youth?  Not youth.  Write that down and then leave me the flim flam alone.  Most of you have heard the following story… some of you several times… and the people that have heard this story before are all going to be like, Whitney… shut your baklava hole… we are soooo over this story!  And then I’m going to be like… Stop it… I’m so not over this story so I’m going to yammer on about it until the cows come home.  Question… how often do the cows come home and is it more or less than once a millenium?

Back story… this past Thursday afternoon a handful of us from the Mary Poppins cast jetted on out to the Summerfest to sing some of the songs from the show for advertising purposes.  I jetted along with the handful to sing my bird number, and we all wore our matching show shirts pictured below.

In case you can’t see it very good it’s Mary Poppins holding an umbrella drawn with a bunch of the words from the production.  Anywho… so I was wearing that shirt.  My mom happened to jet on over during her lunch hour to listen to us and so when the singing was done, I was walking with her when we ran into this lady who commented on my shirt and asked how she could get tickets to the show.  I went on this 8-hour long (read: 2-minute) spiel about where she could get tickets, even going so far as to write down the web address and phone number she could use.  The following is our conversation in a nutshell.

Knit Whit:  So, go to fourseasonstheatre.org and you can buy tickets there.
Lady of Doom and Gloom:  What building is fourseasonstheatre.org in?
KW:  It’s not in a building, it’s on the internet.
LoDaG:  What building is the internet in?
KW:  The internet is not a building… it is on a computer.
LoDaG:  Oh… (at this point she turns to my mother next to me and asks ME) Is this your daughter?
KW:  ($#&$(W*$W)$U(U*($u($W) aka:  The thoughts running through my head.

So, basically, I arrived at the Summerfest at noon 36 years old and I left the Summerfest at 2:00 86 years old… give or take a year.  My mom has been gloating about it ever since but I might as well just shrivel up and stick my head in a vat of Crisco…  If I look 50 years older than I really am, I need to see a plastic surgeon… or walk around with a bag on my head.

By the by… the lady asked me where I lived 12 times in the space of a 10-minute conversation, so I’m thinking she might have other issues than just being technologically challenged and a poor guesser of age.  Either way, I’m guessing neither she nor her magical children will be coming to Mary Poppins any time soon.  What building is that in, dearie!?!?  MOVING ON!!

Opening weekend is in the record books.  It was nerve-wracking, fun, HOT, challenging, and a good way to jet out of my zone of comfort.  Here’s my 86-year-old self wearing the top half of my bird doo lady costume… as you can tell by the expression on my face… it is hot!!!!!

Yep… totally flattering… but all I can do is bow to the wardrobe mistress, Kim for making a costume to fit this body of doom and gloom.  She’s a magician, basically!

Dress rehearsal for one of my favorite scenes (Step In Time)… Only 5 more shows…

PS –  Thank you so much to all of my sweet family and friends who mosied on to the shows so far… even if all I basically do in it is turn the hall light switches on and off backstage.  I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again (not as many times as I’ve already told the above story, though), I have some awesome people in my life… I’m very blessed you all put up with me and are so supportive.  THANK YOU ALL!

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Whirlwind Whitney…

That sounds like a very weather girl-ish name.  I may have missed my calling in life.  I can stand in front of a squiggly map and make up weather predictions that never come true all the live long day.  All’s you have to do is stick your hand out the window to know if it’s raining… unless cuzzin Bartholomew is playing a trick and spitting on you from the balcony.

This weekend was a whirlwind of EPIC proportions!  Friday, we all jaunted up to Rexburg, Idaho to attend my cute uncle’s wedding.  By we all, I mean me, madre, padre, Auntie Mel, and the walking baby-bearing fat police… aka Lindsay.  By fat police I mean, if I hear one more spiel about how she looks so fat (that will certainly melt off when she’s eating her post-baby Cinnabon) you can all call me Jenny Craig on a cracker.  My baby weight came on at about 1 year of age and I ain’t seen it go anywhere since… and it brought along approximately 85 billion of its friends.   Unfortunately, nothing worthwhile is shooting out of me in the next 9 months.  (TMI… I’m aware!)

It was nice to see the fam-damly… even if it was whirlwindy… I told JenJen I’d take pictures of actual people to send to her instead of clouds and nonsense… sorry Jen, I did not deliver very well… but I do have some fabulous cloud pictures… if you squint really hard you can pick out Uncle Phil on the one next to the sun.

Here is the cute couple when they first walked out of the temple.  I somehow feel foolish butting up in front of people with actual official-looking cameras whilst I pull out my paperweight cell phone.  Official photographer here… move out the way you people with lenses!  

Selfie!  Pictures in Rexburg are always accompanied with the “windy” look.  The wind blows 85 hours a day every day… today was no exception.  I did my hair once.  Didn’t need to.  Pictured, awesome cuzzin Jacque, the walking baby-bearing fat police, Knit-Whit, and half of Madre’s left eye.

Blessings and happiness to the new couple!  May your days always include pies… round pies!

We jaunted home Friday night because I had to work all weekend, had an 8-hour Mary Poppins practice on Saturday (aka I managed to ruin 85 costumes sewing on the eye and hook… 4-H winner y’all!!! Also, MP starts this Friday… eek!  Tickets:  www.fourseasonstheatre.org) and was also tasked with writing an entire 12-page paper on the farming techniques of the weasel due Sunday night.  I barely eeked it out between my other tasks, coughcough I may or may not have added some pictures and/or enlarged them to get me to 11 pages).  I feel tired… and accomplished… but mostly tired.  How do you all people with actual real lives do it!?!?!  😛

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All Gave Some and Some Gave All…

Billy Cyrus from the 90s anyone?  The above song was actually one of his more tolerable (nee any song that isn’t Achy Breaky Heart… sorry I had to mention the title outloud… for research purposes you see).  And that was the detour way for me to get to the point… having just had Memorial Day, I wanted to add my thank you to all of those who have served our country in the past, present, and future… and especially for those families who lost a loved one in the service.  I don’t have the bravery (or frankly the skillz, temperament, cajones, clothing, mental fortitude, etc., etc., etc.)  to do what y’all did/do/will do, so thank you, thank you, thank you!!  And many more… if y’all ever need a piece of toast, I make a mean one.  (I’d offer other of my baked goods, but I don’t have the insurance policy to cover chipped teeth accidents).  Afghanistan ain’t got nothing on my chocolate chip lead cookies.

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I keep having this recurring nightmare.  I’m not sure why I’m having it of late as the incident happened way back when I was in the 8th grade attending North Trash Junior High (that wasn’t a typo… it was over 100 years old and crumbling to pieces when we attended).  We ate lunch out on a stairway that was basically a rubble field of cement pieces.  The incident in question?  The school being as old as it was had very narrow hallways in the basement.  Let’s face it… it was in Utah, children per capita is approximately 8800000 children to 1 adult (give or take 7999700).  Squish all them kids into one narrow hallway and let’s have a lawsuit on our hands!

There were rows of lockers lining both sides of said hallway stacked 2 deep, which made the hall even narrower when everyone was trying to get into their lockers whilst everyone else was trying to walk down the hall.  Needless to say it was a claustrophobic person’s hell on earth!  One particular morning before the first bell starting school had rung, the power went out in said hallway and being the hyped up, nerve-ridden, hormonal 14 year olds we were, everyone started freaking out.  We were packed in there like sardines anyway and now with no way to see 2 inches in front of us.  This led to some jerk football boys deciding it would be a good idea just to barrell through everyone like bulldozers.  I was kneeling on the ground getting into my lower locker when it happened, I was knocked over onto the ground and then was unable to get back up as a herd of buffalo trampled over the top of me.  I just covered my head with my arms and thought I was going to suffocate amidst it all.

After what seemed like 8 hours… (I’m sure it was nothing more than a few minutes), I was finally able to drag myself up off the floor into a sitting position, I was bleeding and I no longer had my gargantuan glasses on my face.  Since I was blind without my glasses and the hallway was still dark and extremely tight, there was no way I would be able to find my glasses.  I sat there bawling like a 2-year-old (oh the embarrassment) until the lights finally came back on and one of my friends realized I was hurt.  She searched for my gargantuan glasses only to discover they had been mutilated in the buffalo stampede, broke clear in half and the lenses popped out.  We took the broken pair into the orchestra room and tried to cobble them together with some masking tape… because I didn’t already look like Urkel on Steroids with just the neck crimping-sized glasses alone… no… let’s add tape to the look and then shatter the lenses.  I spent the rest of the day walking around with injuries and taped broken glasses.  Like my mom would have picked me up… the school was in Richmond, which is a good half hour drive from where she worked.   I just had to wait for the bus ride later that afternoon.

I woke up the other night flailing in my sleep as if I was trying to thwart the football buffalo stampede.  It’s funny the things that stick with you for forever and 12 days… I was 14 ages and ages ago said Grandma Olive… but in my vivid dreams it felt like it was happening now.  I’m pretty sure these days I could take on the whole herd with 2 arms tied behind my back.  Come at me, bros!   Mama needs a new pair of spectacles!

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In other news… for those who don’t have Facebook and have been asking how to get tickets to Mary Poppins, they just went on sale this weekend.  Go to http://www.fourseasonstheatre.org/ and click on the “Get Your Tickets Now” tab on the right hand side.  If you have a family you are bringing and want the family discount, call (435) 535-1432.  I believe the discount is buy 2 tickets at the regular price of $10 and then after that each ticket is just $5.  (NOTE:  To family who are insisting they are coming from far distances, you really don’t need to.  I’m in the thing for approximately 10 minutes total and it would be a long drive just to support that… There are no expectations and if I were you, I’d say to myself WWWD (what would whitney do)… uh… she’d totally skip the long drive too!)

So, I’m puzzled by this weird weather we’ve been having.  We live in a desert for a reason and it has rained every single day for the last month and a half… but the weird part of it is that there is usually some lovely blue sky in the area where I am not woggercizing.  I try to walk toward it, but this is all I see in my vicinity:

I’m like Eeyore, except less grey around the gills!  I really need to invest in an umbrella that actually covers my gargantuan head if this keeps up!  Stop the madness, Grucilla!

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Don’t Rain On My Parade…

Back when I was full of vim and vigor and frankly a load of crap… when I was just a lass of about 11 or 12, I entered a contest that the Cache Valley Mall was putting on.  It was a Mother’s Day prize package wherein a comittee would pick the best essay about one’s own mother and the mother of that essay winner would get several prizes… flowers, a session in the photo studio, etc.  I entered… and for the life of me I can’t remember what I wrote that was so fascinating because it is lost for-e-v-e-r, but I ended up winning.  Allow me to show you one of the prizes my madre reaped…

STOP LAUGHING!!!  Them dresses are madre originals… sewn by hand… lace and everything.  No matter that I look like Laura Ingalls Wilder about to accept the wagon wheel award for best haystacking.  I’m also fascinated at the fact that all 3 of us have the same hair shape… kind of like a triangular frock of corn husks… or coneheads.  And the most pathetic part of this picture?  The glasses… they don’t have lenses in them.  When I arrived wearing my regular pair of glasses… a poor 11/12-year-old going on 45-year-old with a crick in my neck, the photographer said that they wouldn’t do.  My lenses were so big that the flash from the camera would make a glare on the picture… so instead of doing what any normal person would have done (aka take the glasses off and have the picture taken without them), we traipsed down the mall corridors to Baldwin Optical and found a similar pair of frames that I could borrow for said picture.  I’m wearing an ugly pair of glassless frames, lace-frocked, coneheaded, and frankly embarrassed to have won anything!  My mom hung the gigantic-sized version of this picture on our hall wall for many years… and then one day it up and suddenly disappeared.  I don’t have a clue who would do such a thing to such a masterpiece… coughcough.

Happy Mother’s Day to my momma… your gift from me (besides the other gifts I gave you) is the re-emergence of this heart-touching picture.  It’s like a gentle reminder that we were always nerds.

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In even less interesting news, I walked in a parade this past Saturday in the wind and rain, uphill both ways with no socks or shoes with a too-small umbrella for my gigantic head.

Coughcough… April, I stole your picture… but look at me giving you credit.  I carried this banner in my left hand and the umbrella in my right hand, and by the time I got home 4 miles later, my arms were stuck in those same positions for the rest of the weekend!   Also, I resemble the BFG in this picture (oh you all have to remember the book The BFG… Big Friendly Giant!)  Deal with it.

Happy Mother’s Day to all of my friends out there in mother land.  I respect and admire your selfless, long-suffering, hard-working ways, and I know that you are all raising/have raised children to be proud of!   I hope your day yesterday was filled with relaxation and chocolate… and love from your families.

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Twelve Layers Of Support and A Positive Attitude…

I feel about 105 today… give or take 20 years.  I’m guessing it’s because I haven’t drunk enough Diet Dr. Pepper… either that or I’m getting old.  You know it’s super lame when you get to brag about shoulder bursitis (it hurts), elbow tendonitis, and sharp knee pain when taking the stairs or general bending of said appendage… then there’s the stiff neck and back issue from too much slumping over the computer at work.  Is this what it’s like to be 105?  I’m starting early.  I could go on but then what am I going to talk about whilst sitting on my porch in a rocking chair 45 years from now?  Gotta save some of the good stuff for Pearl and Merle to commiserate with.

It’s when I get to grumbling that I remember the Sam’s Club lady and have to snap myself out of it.  Who is the Sam’s Club lady you ask?  Every Saturday I drop by the club… I love their produce and I always have to buy a container of their cherub tomatoes, strawberries, and whatever other vegetable or fruit happens to be on my weekly menu.  Saturday is sample day… that is if you don’t mind elbowing a few 95-year-olds to get to the last vegetarian chicken patty sample.  There’s one sample lady I look forward to every week.  You can hear her from a mile away, her spiel is always the same… Come try some… it is sooooooooooo yummy! Such a good price!  Picture that said by a darling little Asian lady.  She says that over and over and over.  She is genuinely excited about whatever she gets to sample… even if she’s stuck sampling dog biscuits or frozen brussel sprouts.  I usually end up buying whatever she has to sample because I’m a pushover (I don’t know what the helium balloon I’m going to do with 800 dog biscuits… they’re kind of dry. 😛 ) and apparently you can sell me on positive influence.  This past Saturday she was sampling some hideously disgusting barley salad.  The ingredients were fine and dandy… it was the dressing they put on said ingredients… but I still told her it tasted yummy… because I’m jellyfish-spined like that.  No barley salad entered my cart this week… I’m pretty impressed at my resistance!

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In other news… the dancing update.  The sweet choreographer for Mary Poppins has finally taken pity on us (I’m pretty sure I was a big reason for said pity) and she has modified the final bow dance I’ve been practicing for the last 2+ months.  The dance is still super uber fast, but compared to the non-modified version, it is MUCH easier to get in… MUCH.  The only problem, I feel like that kid on A Christmas Story bundled up in the snowsuit when I go to dance practice.  These flabs could seriously wound my surrounding competition (let’s face it… we’re competing for arm flailing space).  It is quite the production… twelve layers of support and a built-in heater, which of course is wayyyyyyy too hot to be moving around vigorously in.  I’m already sweating by the time I get there… and then I go home looking like a sewer rat.  The alternative is too gory to think about… imagine the casualties!  Died whilst being flabbulated to death!  I don’t want that responsibility… hear!?

Tyler was born to play Bert… he’s the next Dick Van Dyke… but with a better name!  😛

PS – Have any of you dealt with shoulder tendonitis/bursitis?  Do you have any tried and true remedies?  I’ll do anything, including rubbing said shoulder with cow intestines (JUST KIDDING… nevermind that idea)!

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This and That and Jonah Days…

I’m feeling less than inspired to think of putting sentences together in an orderly fashion tonight… and there are zero coherent thoughts running through my brain right about now… unless you count the one about Mary’s little lamb joining the shearing club whilst carrying a machine gun.  That’s a normal day in my neighborhood.

If you follow me on Facebook, you can ignore this paragraph since I’ve already waxed something other than poetic about this particular topic.  Saturday the world learned that we lost Jonathan Crombie, aka Gilbert Blythe.  He was only 48.  As Anne would say, It was such a Jonah day!  This generation has Edward and Bella (or whatever their names are… I haven’t actually seen or read the Twilight books… shoot me).  My generation had Anne and Gilbert… a love story for the ages.  I’ve been a huge Anne of Green Gables fan since the age of 5 when my mom read me the abridged version of the first book.  It was love at first listen.  A few years later I watched the made-for-television movies and the characters I had grown to love in the books were brought to life, and I now had a face to put to each character.  Jonathan Crombie played Gilbert Blythe beautifully and a crush was born at the age of 7.  He portrayed the ideal man, and a throng-full of pre-teen/teen brace-wearers swooned into their Cheerios at the thought of him… or at least the character he played.  Rest in peace, Jonathan, my first movie boyfriend.

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In other news… on Wednesday we got a foot of snow.  This winter has been mild.  We started out promising in December/early January but then the clouds dried up and we had very few snowstorms.  In an attempt to make up for the drought, came this lil’ gift on tax day… I told you no good comes from tax day!

But thank you for the water reserves!

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Four Seasons Theatre Company put out some of their Mary Poppins advertising.  FYI:  If you were wondering who the perfect person to play Mary Poppins was, look no further… Sarah Huff won… She was born to play the part and you pretty much don’t want to miss her!  She even looks like Mary… see below.  I got to watch a very rough draft of most of the first act on Saturday whilst waiting for my scene’s turn… it was supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!

Clickety Clack on over to like their Facebook page:  Four Seasons Theatre Company

Meanwhile… if anyone can give me a case of Jack Daniels I might be able to loosen the helium balloons up in the acting department.  I’m too self-conscious, but I do a great impression of a stiff, board-like boulder.  Any tips on how to get out of one’s head and become one with the character?

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El Zone-o de Comforto…

Spanglish is the best language said the gringo in the back of the class.

I’ve mentioned how much I adore my comfort zone.  It’s a beautiful place… in my imagination… all decked out in pillows made of pizza (except… no thanks… how uncomfortably gross would that be… wiping off marinara sauce every time you lay down)!  But it’s a pretty zone… somewhere in nature with waterfalls and sunny days chasing the clouds away (five points for whomever can name that song) and trees… gotta have some trees… except they’re birdless in my imagination… either that or the birds do not have a digestive system… because seriously!  There are a few people in my imaginative zone of comfort, but not a ton of people… gotta have some hyperventilating room up in that there joint.

On the edge of my comfort zone lives a mean ogre named Anxiet-eetodd.  He’s ogre-ish because if I happen to cross that line between the comfort and the not-so-comfort, he is waiting with a keg of sugar and an all-you-can-eat Italian smorgasbord.  Stupid ogre.  That’s what happens when you are an emotional eater… rather than deal with the emotion, you eat it away, which is only good for Anxiet-eetodd because he works on commission from the Pillsbury Doughboy… and all I get is a wagon full of lard sauce.

I’ve had a number of comfort zone-crushing moments the last several years.  It’s a good thing to get out of one’s comfort zone, and I need to think of it that way.  Not only will it get me to try new things, but it will also make me face what I hate to face… how to get through feeling an emotion without stuffing it down.

My latest challenge… dancing… in public… with people around!  Close your eyes and picture me dancing.  When you finish laughing your aspercreme off, I’ll let you know it’s exactly as you imagined it.  Somehow, I… Whitney of the Zumba In the Dark With The Blinds Closed… am dancing for the curtain call in the aforementioned Mary Poppins shindig.  I knew they’d rue the day they decided to invite me into their web of talent!  😛  It’s still not too late to back out, FSTC!  I hope there’s a particularly darkened corner somewhere on the stage with my name on it.  We learned part of the Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious dance this week, where-in Whitney nearly took out the whole back row with her skills.  I’ve been practicing it a little bit every single day since.  The steps aren’t that hard once you get them down, it’s the speed at which we have to do them.  If one of the cute smaller dancers twirls around, it’s like they’re walking around a pole.  If I twirl around, I’m at least walking around a block with change.  I’m leaving the dance moves below in the video for your perusal.  Someone who knows how to do the Mexican tequila bean dance on caffeine, jump inside my skin until July would ya’?  😛

Any tips, fellow dancers? (sorry, I couldn’t say that with a straight face… the “fellow dancers” part!)

T

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Filed under Getting A Life, Mary Poppins

Move Over Comfort… Bring On The Awkwardness and Anxiety!

Some of you may remember how I once waxed poetic about my ability to graciously navigate social waters.  BWAHAHAHAHAHA… that never happened.  Instead, I may have mentioned about 8 katrillion times of my penchant for awkwarding up a social situation with two hands tied behind my back.  It’s totes a gift and one that I wear with humiliation and cheese curds!

It turns out a new opportunity has presented itself for me to display my gift of awkward anxiety… cheese curds anyone?  The sweet people of Four Seasons Theatre Company (they who let me become the old olive tree in a production of “The Garden” two years ago) have once again thought of me for a role in their upcoming musical, Mary Poppins.  I wrestled with the decision of whether or not I’d want to audition for an actual role in a play that included scary things like costumes and makeup… and a solo about 3 keys higher than my vocal range of comfort… low and slow… bring it on!  High and die… wear your earplugs!  I had learned of the role about a month before the actual auditions and had made my mind up approximately 18 times that I was and then I wasn’t going to attempt it.  Three days before the audition, I made my mind up that I wasn’t going to do it and I was at peace with the decision.  But then my madre ran into a lady at church connected with the theatre company who told her they hoped I’d audition.  I somehow made it to the audition.  I really don’t think it was on my own two legs or right mind… it was like I was floating along in a trance of “spoon full of sugar” juice.  The audition didn’t go like I wanted it to… I was extra nervous and my high notes were strained and then I somehow messed up the words and stopped my own audition in the middle of it letting them know that they’d heard a plenty.  GREAT DIRECTION, WHITMEISTER!

They put the cast list up tonight:

I’d like to note that I’m coming full circle on my hatred of all things bird… being attacked by an angry turkey when I was 4, accosted by an angry owl, pooped on by a friendly magpie, and countless baby birds falling into my window well is about to go down.  Also, the resemblance is UNCANNY!

The song I sing, Feed the Birds is a lovely song about not judging a book by its cover… and probably a whole lotta other stuff that I haven’t discovered yet.  In other news, apparently I’m typecast at the age of 36 as “old”.  Old Olive Trees and Old Bird Women… I could probably sign up to join the AARP, considering!  Take some deep breaths in and out, Whit-Knee… time to step outta your comfort zone again.  Do it for the love of all things bird!  Thank you for the opportunity, ye’ sweet people of Four Seasons Theatre Company!

This view will never be the same.  This is a picture of the former Golden Toaster church.  Sayanora, historic church and view.  I once broke a pew by sitting on it in this church approximately 15 years ago when I weighed 530 pounds.  That’s probably why they tore it down.  😛

This is how Lucy-Fur sleeps.  It’s pretty freaky.  One eye wide open and snoring.  No one sleeps with their eyes open unless it’s a zombie.  Lucy… you got some ‘splainin’ to do!

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Filed under Life