Tag Archives: nsv

Excuse You… That Is NOT A Weapon… and Giveaway Winners!

First things first… as promised, the announcement of the TWO extremely prestigious and high brow winners of my Biggest Geezer Loser Dessert Cookbook Giveaway will be announced right now (try saying that sentence 8 times with a mouth full of saltines).  No joking around up in these parts.  I assigned everyone who entered a number… 1 to 20 (those who entered via the blog and FB got themselves TWO numbers) and then I went to the website random.org and had them generate me 2 lucky numeros.  The winners…. drum roll… have you ever noticed that people who wear socks with sandals also tend to wear knee high socks with shorts (hi dad)?

Deanna V. (as in Victor)

and 

Erinn D.

Baby circles!!  Congratulations you two!  If y’all two wouldn’t mind sending me your shipping address to whitney78@gmail.com, it would be a whole lot more accurate than using my psychotic skillz to think up your pad numbers… just trust me on that front.  I ain’t no Sylvia Browne.

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Secondly… HI!  Long time no talk.  Though, I’m sure most of you may have felt a sense of relief not having to read my rambling nonsensicalness on a daily basis.  I know I did!!  And that be the truth!  I accomplished quite a bit this last week… and I only got arrested once… out of twelve possible times!  I’d say that’s some good odds right there.  I’ll probably use most of this week to spell out what went down last week… and I’m sure no one gives a whipper snapper what went down this past week, but I’m a future Alzheimer Patient All-Star, so I always have to have my happenings writ down somewheres.  Just so one day I can look back at it and be like… who’s Whitney and what the helium balloon is she blabbering about?

I had to get up at butt o’clock in the morning to drive the 90 miles to the airport to board the plane.  Butt o’clock is hecka early in case you aren’t familiar with it… wayyyyy before 10:00… I’m just saying.  I think I ran on approximately 2 hours of sleep the whole week.  There’s no time to sleep when you have things to do!

The airport… definitely not my favorite place to hang out.  Strip searching is always something I look forward to… you get a hold of one of my luxuriously soft fat flabs and you’ll want to nap for 8 days straight!  That’s what happened.  One of my worst fears going through the security check point at the airport.  The lady had to pat down my fat flabs.  I guess she thought I’d stuffed a weapon up one of them… or a kilo of marijuana.  What do you look at when that’s going on anyway?  It’s so awkward and embarrassing and frankly my personal space half-acre bubble will never be the same!  I exaggerate… it was awkward, but not as horrible as I’d built it up in my brain to be.  I always plan for the worst, so that way I can be pleasantly surprised if it’s only half as horrid as I’d thunk up.

Owing to my trip in October of last year to the East coast where I was unable to fit between the 2 arms of the plane seat, I once again planned on 2 plane seats.  The bane of my existence does NOT like to share it’s half acre space.  I was hugely disappointed when I flew in October and wasn’t able to put the seat arm down.  I’m proud to say that this time… SUCCESS!!!  I haven’t lost much if any poundage since October of last year, but that is not the only way to measure success.  Even if the scale hadn’t been going down, the middle portion was shrinking.  I think next time I could do with one seat… although, I’ll probably still try the 2 seat thing because it’s awesome to be able to have breathing room.  I ain’t gonna lie.  Claustrophobia is issue number 34894894u19unfafla on my issue list.

NSVs all over the place… and it isn’t even 8:00 yet!  I’m out.  More about day 1 manana!  Have a fabulous Monday, my pals!

Question of the Day:  Which seat do you prefer when flying… window or aisle or middle?  Have you ever had to be patted down through the security check point?  

PS – Happy Birthday to my sweet cuzzin, Jen-Jen!!  Have a great day, Bill Nye the Science Guy!  😛

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Filed under Getting A Life, Giveaway

I’ll Take The Biggest One You Have…

The saga of the pants continues.  If this keeps up, I’m going to have a whole dagnabbed pants soap opera to pitch to the networks.  As The Pantyhose Turn… Days of Our Pants… General Pants-pital… all destined to be major hits, don’t talk back to me!  Since I haven’t liked really any of the pants I’ve tried on in stores around town (they all fit… it’s just I am super self-conscious about the bane of my existence… no need to focus more attention on that sucker), I decided to go the online route.  Old Navy was my first stop and I got this huge-mongous box full of pants in the mail last week.

I have a history with clothing and sizes.  For several years I’d just have to order the largest size they had (in the extended sizes… which is one up from the plus sizes which is one up from the misses sizes which is one up from the people who wear sizes 0 through 3 which is one up from the invisible people section).  I just ordered the biggest size they had without thinking and without measuring and then crossed my fingers that it would fit.  Sometimes it would… a lot of times it wouldn’t, which is a horrible feeling when you can’t fit into the biggest size the catalog offers in the extended sizes!!  Not that many stores even offer extended sizes anyway, so I always had to purchase from specialty stores who specialized in making tents on the side.

Shopping Old Navy online a few weeks ago, I went right back to my tried and true, buy the biggest size they have in the pants section… truly not optimistic that I’d even be able to pull them up past my knees.

That just goes to show me how skewed my perception of myself is… and how I’m still stuck in the land of 530-poundville.  The pants, all of them, were too big… all of them were the regular jeans/nonstretchy pants that I’d never ever  been able to wear in the past, but I still couldn’t fathom that I’d be able to wear them… even 230+ pounds later.

I don’t know if a change in the way I see myself will gradually come as I get smaller… and I hope that it does… but at this juncture I still can’t see the changes in my body when I look in the mirror.  I think I’m a special case in that I had so much to lose that a lot of my bulk is hanging skin (TMI ALERT… oops warned you too late, didn’t I?) and so there is no real way to see any body shape under all that hanging flabness… which is frustrating on one hand… but on the other hand, I just need focus on the fact that I am lighter than I used to be.  I finally went and did my measurements for the first time in a year… there were inch to inches lost in pretty much every area… most notably the 5 inches off of both my waist and the bane of my existence… it’s shrinking… slower than a turtle at a Tar Convention… but shrinking nonetheless.  Sit down, shut up, and be patient…  Meanwhile, guess I have to return these pants and think about ordering smaller.  Brain space… work with me here!

Question of the Day:  What is your dream pants size?  The size you’d be happy at?  

Happy weekend, friends!  Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do… in prison!  😛

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Filed under Nonscale Victories