Pictures, pictures, pictures… why do you peeve me off so? Not pictures of other people… no… never. But, pictures of myself from the shoulders down about throw me into a dagnabbed conniption. I try to avoid them at all costs, but I happened to look at a recent one this morning… one of me all smiley and hallelujah-ey standing next to skinny folk and I wanted to bawl. I look like that!? STILL!?!?!?! Really!?!? I look in the mirror. I look in the mirror every dagnabbed day and while I don’t like looking at myself in the mirror, I don’t think I look that bad. But pictures… pictures are 25,000 times worse and this one made me pissed off. Pretty sure a beached whale looks smaller than I did in that picture. And then I get that stupid gremlin dude that lives up in my noggin jabbering in my ear about what a failure I am and that I should probably go buy a cake from the bakery and down the whole thing to soothe my sorrows. 223 pounds lost should look frigging amaze-balls! Instead, I’m stuck wondering how many whole watermelon, rind and all, I can fit into my gut with overflow in the bane of my existence. I think too much… I need to remove my brain and try to sell it on the junk-to-treasure section of eBay!
It’s not like this has never happened before in my LONG ole journey to the land of normal-sized clothing. It’s happened many times along the way, but I always seem to freak out and think that I’m going to turn back into that one chick who didn’t care. She just let herself go, quit counting her calories, and took up residence on the elected couch cushion for days on end. It’s low self confidence that causes this. If I was a more confident person, I could just brush it off as the lighting was bad or I wasn’t standing up straight or that camera SUCKS… and move forward. So, we’re going to have to get some perspective here… ignore me while I smack myself in the head.
– Type 2 Diabetes… Gone… I was diagnosed when I was 16 years old and I went from insulin shots at least 4 times a day (with several different kinds of insulin) AND countless oral pills, to half of a pill… and that is just for precautionary purposes.
– Sleep Apnea… gone… went from wearing a nasal cannula oxygen mask with an oxygen machine that sounded like a freight train was passing through my room to NO oxygen.
– Car Seat Belts… can wear (most of) them now… no extender necessary.
– Walking… can do it… Used to be after 5 minutes I was ready for a nap… and my reserved bed in the intensive care unit.
– Tying shoelaces… done… I used to have to stand up and put my foot on a chair to tie them… and even then the whole time I was gasping for breath. Now, I can actually sit in a chair, bend over and tie my shoelaces. People… you take that for granted… it is a glorious feeling!
– Shirt size… am fitting into a 2X now (depending on the brand and fabric)… used to be a 6X.
– Biking for the first time as an adult.
– Chairs with arms/Booths… Can fit into most of them now. Most… not all. I will get you, you freakishly small Eccles chairs!
Brain just fell out, so I’ll stop here. Whitney… listen up, pal… next time you decide to look at a full length picture of yourself… do yourself a favor and don’t… unless you want to add another watermelon to that gut of yours!
Question of the Day: What are your list of accomplishments?
What topic would you like to see more of in this blog of mine?
Also… have a fantabulous last weekend in July (and tell the summer to slow down… it’s going wayyyyy too fast!)
