Tag Archives: pictures

October Colors Bring November Browns…

April showers bring May flowers ain’t got nothing on the new fall version I done just made up.  Except it doesn’t so much rhyme… I’ll work on that.  Poe wasn’t born in a day… or maybe he was.  The things you think about when you are procrastinating doing your homework usually don’t make any sense.  Just a little glimpse into my daily empty brain syndrome.

Before I go any further, I just wanted to thank all you friends for your sweet birthday wishes.  It’s not as exciting as it used to be to turn another year older.  It just means another ache will appear and eeyore’s cloud will barf all over my negative brain.  I don’t have a lot to say right now, so we’ll just move on to the pictures… a picture is worth a thousand words, so this here blog post is actually pretty dang too long.  You are welcome.

Going to go out on a limb here and say that these folks really are fans of the cemetery/dead people decoration look.  I mean, whatever floats your boat.

They’re breaking my heart here… starting the dig up the canal/cut down tree phase of making the canal water run underground in the backyard.  Way to ruin my future backyard pictures, city!

Happy Fall, y’all sweet people.


Filed under Little Things

Oh Fall…

Now that I’m a year older in people years, but in my imaginary brain years I’m at least 10 years younger and wear a princess tiara, whoops… too many ibuprofen, I feel it is necessary that I become more adult like and start pulling out teeth more often.  So, on my actual birthday, I scheduled an appointment with a dentist to have a tooth root dug out.  I don’t know what I was thinking… in my head I was sure it would be a 10-minute event and then I’d be home eating a steak and par-taying to my geezer heart’s content.  Negative on the steak… I haven’t gone that far in my once-a-week-meat-eating adventures.  Keep the cowbells in the pasture, please!  The truth of the matter, the day before when I was dutifully brushing my teeth, the dead tooth that I knew I was supposed to have had pulled out for a couple of months before that just broke off.  Like literally broke all the way off down to the base, leaving three stems of roots stuck up in my gum.  Quality.  So, due to the fact that I had a horrid taste in my mouth from the rotting tooth and also the fact that we were heading into a weekend (apparently most dentist offices do not work on Friday… or Saturday or Sunday), I only had one choice for a day to get it pulled out… Thursday, my birthday.  But that didn’t matter because it would only be a 10-minute affair and unicorns and gumdrops would fall from the ceiling as I galloped out into the world at the completion.

Ninety minutes later, after enduring several drillings into my gum bones and digging with some doo hickey with a sharp tip, and after almost biting off the dentist’s fingers 12 times, I was crawling out of the dentist on hands and knees bleeding out the corners of my mouth.  See what a quality picture I paint for appetizing lunch hour purposes?  Who wants tomater soup for dinner!?  Blast you gum drop molar forest!  Blast you!  Also, Berger gene tooth issues… BLAST YOU!!  Meanwhile I’m pretty sure I’ve developed dry socket, having experienced the pleasantness of the dry socket when I got my wisdom teeth removed, I know the symptoms… which means packing the dried out socket with a nasty-tasting clove mixture and many months of severe pain are in my future.  BUT… on the bright side… if for Christmas I want hot Wassail… all I’d have to do is pour hot water into my mouth and swish it around with the clove mixture pack.  Voila!  Insta-nastiness!

But, back to the topic… Fall… Fall is my favorite!  It should just stay fall until March and then go directly to Spring… think about it Mother Nature… that’s all I ask!

Totes my deer friends…


Filed under Life

Amelia Bedelia’s In the House…

Who remembers those cute Amelia Bedelia children’s books?  The books about the unfortunate lady who happens to be a clutz and a disaster all rolled into one?  I think she might be my mother.  I had to get the genes from someone!  Tonight, within the space of 20 minutes, I managed to slice a chunk in my thumb whilst cutting onions with a crappy steak knife (useful instruments are my specialty); start a dried noodle that was sticking to the stove on fire; shake what I thought was a closed lid on a bottle of hot sauce which then squirted all over my neck, chin, and hair; and burn a sauteeing onion because I was too busy cleaning up my hot-sauced hair.  Twenty minutes… 52 disasters.  So, basically, the house almost burnt down, I smell like a burnt burrito joint, and I can see the bone in my thumb.  That right there is some TALENT with a capital all the letters!  When I’m done with all that, I think I might come to your house and help you collect some insurance money, yo!  Who’s first in line?

In unrelated news… yesterday, I wanted to make one last jaunt to my happy place to check out some fall leaves… turns out I was about 2 weeks late on the prettiest fall leaves, I guess the snow brought ’em down, instead I got to see some dead trees and trudge through mud, see snow, and brave the wind stinging my hands and nose at something like 35 degrees… with no coat… or socks… or shoes… or diamond-studded headband.  Fine… the socks and shoes were a lie, but the coat and diamond headband are totes the truth!  Eh well… better luck next year, chap.  I still got to see some beauty amidst the dead and cold.


The obligatory melting snow picture…




Meanwhile, Lucy-Fur sucks at hide-and-go-seek…

I hope this isn’t a reflection on my hide-and-go-seek skillz.  Seriously, Lucy-Fur!



Filed under Life, Lucy-Fur

Empty Brain Syndrome…

I have been sitting here for the last 20 minutes wondering how the crap I ever blogged 5 days a week for so long… but mostly that I had something to say 5 days a week.  Stop with the sarcastic “did you really?” comments.  I have proof that I wrote things… they may have been frivolous and nonsensical… but the point of the matter is I actually typed words on a page and submitted it to the Internet Universe…  I think at least 25 entries contained the word Blugh… is that a word?  Who cares.  If I can’t think of a topic to blog about once a week, I best get a brain transplant.  Who wants to trade brains and bodies, a la Freaky Friday, except not the one with Lindsay Lohan in it on account of the fact that girl is cray cray and clearly… I’m not… talking about brain transplants and all.

The truth of the matter, I haven’t done that awful much lately.  My normal day includes working overtime (I have no room to complain since a couple of my co-workers work MANY more hours than I do… like bordering on insanity hours), eating, and sleeping… wash, rinse, repeat.  I will have to find a happy medium here soonish, so I can enjoy a summer that is seemingly already racing right by me… I haven’t even had time to pull my craptastic bicycle out of it’s winter storage place to pump up the tires and pretend I don’t look like a walrus on a unicycle.

Because I have nothing to say… here are a few pictures…

Question of the Day:  Do you have any big summer plans?  



Filed under Uncategorized

Back in 1883…

… after the wedding ceremony of my parents.  Bwahahahahahaha… I slay myself!  Okay, maybe add a few years to that guesstimate.  My folks celebrated their 119th minus approximately 81 wedding anniversary this past Wednesday… and since I’m such a pain in the butt and yet very thoughtful daughter, I thought I’d walk y’all through a few of their engagement/wedding photos.  Get out your sunglasses.  I warned you!

This here would be a really bad quality engagement picture.  Back in them days they didn’t have no fangled dangled cameras.  A line of monkeys sat out in front of them and drew this here picture with crayons.  Do not adjust your screens.  That is an orange dress.  I hear it was this exact dress that was the inspiration for the prison orange jumpsuit.  That’s the truth!  Also, I guess my dad may or may not have been hungry for lamb chops on account of he just decided to grow them on his face.  Dark glasses and ringlets were big in them days too.

You can’t see them in this picture… the angle is bad… but there were EMTs standing in the rafters just in case the men got choked to death by them there ruffled shirt and bow tie combination.  That’s my gramps Bill, grams Ella, grams Adeline, and step-gramps Bill.  You wouldn’t know it to look at them but they were wondering where the nearest feeeeesshhh plates were.

In case you were wondering, I was not invited to the reception!  THE NERVE!!

I only recognize the one bridesmaid… wut up, Aunt D!?  The rest were hired from Craig’s List… which since they didn’t have computers back then was actually just a dude named Craig who lived in a house and had a list.  You’d go ring his doorbell.  Flouncy hats were apparently in fashion as well.  I seem to remember seeing a plant pot that looked like one of those flouncy hats when I was a youngster.  Who’s missing their flouncy hat?

Happy Anniversary, Madre and Padre!  I spent a lot of time wishing I was never born throughout my life… the faux-tragic-teenager years and the depressed hippo 500+-pound years, but I can honestly say that I’m glad to be alive today.  What a difference a few attitude adjustments make!

Question of the Day:  If you’re married, how long have you been married?  What were your wedding colors?  


Filed under Family

No Thanks… I’d Rather Look Like A Fat Blob…

I worked all weekend and Labor Day, so had Tuesdee off.  I figured I better get the things I needed to get done for my classes at USU while I was available during business hours.  First things first… picking up my student ID card.  Heck if I’m going to pay an arm, a leg, and a uterus and not take advantage of the side perks… like staring at boring dissertations in the library.  I’m telling you… forget paint drying… that there activity is the new turtle stuck in a bucket of tar feature!

I figured I’d kill 3 birds with 800 stones and do some exersaucing as well, so I walked to school… which would have totally been no big deal at all, except that it was 96 degrees, walking up a steep hill, and I forgot the point of me walking up the hill with no shoes and no pants was to have my picture taken at the end of it.  Hello red beety face.  Just call me Rudolph-o the Red-Faced Redneck.  Oh lawsy gracious, brain waves… work for me here!

When I arrived at the student ID office, the lady asked if I’d ever had an ID before.  Apparently, I didn’t look 18… the NERVE!  I told her I’d had one 800 years ago.  She pulled it up on the computer and turned her screen to show me.

That’s not you!  Do you want a new picture?  I didn’t know not getting a picture taken was an option so I jumped on that like a broken-springed trampoline and said no.  I hate pictures of myself… I’m sooooo not photogenic.  My head is a big gob of a thing and I always look so goobery… like I’m staring at a piece of bacon in the distance.  Any time I have the option not to have one taken… YES MA’AM!  So, I told her the one she had on the screen from when I was 18 was fine… even if I looked like my head got slammed into a vice grip and then swolled up from an allergic reaction.  Another of her co-workers happened to be nosing her way over and was all like… Oh, you can’t keep that picture.  That doesn’t even look like you!  And I’m all like… why, because that chic’s face doesn’t look like she got stuck in a food fight at a beet eating convention?  I prefer not to look like a sunburnt rutabaga for the remainder of my college career…. it’ll be 50 years… at least!

They wouldn’t take no for an answer, so I sat my butt on the picture stool and got me a new picture… as if I need to answer questions every time I show it.  Is your face about to explode?  This isn’t you… you’re not red enough?

They were actually really sweet ladies.  Thank you, ladies for making my day… even if I am the proud owner of a slimmer, but redder-faced student ID card!

Question of the Day:  Do you like your student ID/driver’s license picture?  Why or why not? 



Filed under School, Uncategorized

Kind of Looks Like Someone Puked Up In This Joint…

It is NOT August 1st.  It’s not!  I say it’s not and so it’s not!  I’m sad my summer is coming to an end without having done anything… but I’m going to shut up and just go with the flow because the flow told the voices in my head that’s what I should do.  There’s still some time left… do something!

Meanwhile, let’s get up this week’s menu in this here joint!   There was only one meal fail this week… I consider that a success.  I had made the batter for calorizing pumpkin pancakes that I got from the health guru on the Today Show, Joy Bauer.  I bought her book and it was in there.  I don’t know why, but they really didn’t have much flavor… so I tossed them.  Maybe I bought a bad can of pumpkin puree… maybe they needed more cinnamon?  Maybe I should just move on.  I had to improvise a new breakfast…

Breakfast (Fibery/Wheaty toast with simply fruit spread, one egg, and a large peach… Calories:  371)

I bought the peaches at Sam’s Club on Saturday… BIG beaut-ee-ful peaches.  They weren’t ripe then, but a few days on the counter they ripened up nicely… so juicee too!

Look at them good-looking suckers… I tell you what!

Meal #2: (Crockpot Dutch Oven Potaters with reduced fat cheese and grape tomatoes… Calories:  321)

Cuzzin Jen-Jen gave me this recipe and I modified it to fit my vegetarian ways… plus it cooks in the crockpot… totes the easiest!

Crockpot Dutch Oven Potatoes

– 4 Potatoes – chopped
– 1 can Cream of Mushroom Soup (I used Healthy Request to cut down on fat and sodium some)
– 1 can of green chilies (I left these out of mine)
– 1/3 cup chopped Onion
– Bacon (I left this out too and substituted it for some reduced fat cheese on the top after it cooked)

Throw that all into a crockpot and cook on high for 3 to 4 hours.  Voila… done!

Meal #3 (Salad and 5 Ritz Crackers… Calories:  340)

My salad ingredients were:  1 hard-boiled egg, 1/4 cup of cold peas, 1/4 cup of pineapple tidbits, 1.5 oz grape tomatoes (duh), 1-1/2 cups of romaine lettuce blend with carrot and red cabbage, and my favorite new dressing… Bolthouse Classic Ranch Yogurt Dressing… made with Greek yogurt, so at least half the calories of regular dressing… this stuff is only 45 calories for 2 Tblsp… and it is yummified!   I always say… there ain’t nothing worse than a bad Ranch dressing… I don’t care what anyone says… NOTHING WORSE!

Dinner ( Homemade Veggie Bean Burger and Corn/Tomato Balsamic Salad… Calories:  491):

My first homemade veggie bean burger… and when I got finished making the mashed up bean part, I was seriously not excited to try it… done looked like the cat somehow got up on the counter and spewed all over my bowl.  I even offered my dad one and after one look at them, he declined… even if Madre is at girl’s camp this week and can’t cook him dinner!   Your loss, dad!

What was in my veggie bean burgers?  Mushrooms, celery, onion, mashed kidney beans, egg whites, italian-seasoned bread crumbs, and garlic.  Once I got done cooking them through, and then put all the toppings on, it was tastee!!  I’d totally eat them again… even if they did take too long to make!


Whitney’s taste buds are getting more adult these days.  You bet your sweet bippy.  I’ve moved from 5-year-old taste buds to at least 12.  Watch out, 21… here I come!

Question of the Day:  What are your favorite salad toppings?  Favorite dressing?  


Filed under Calorizing, Food