Tag Archives: Plan of Action

Uncaging My Bird – The Plan

Wanderer, your footsteps are the road, and nothing more;
Wanderer, there is no road, the road is made by walking.
By walking one makes the road, and by glancing behind
One sees the path…
– Antonio Machado

Just had to retrieve this plan of action from the bottom of the bird cage… it was totally just serving as the bird turd catcher.  Just scrape it off a bit and I’m on my way.  I think that’s how I’ve treated any sort of goal in the past… like the paper used to catch the bird turds (wow, do I have a fascination with birds lately or what?)  True story… I’m actually quite nervous around birds.  When I was 4 or 5 years old I was visiting my grandma on a farm when a huge turkey attacked me… I fell to the ground and the huge sucker sat on top of my chest and gobbled at me and flapped it’s wings at me… I swear it weren’t Thanksgiving and I did not own an Ax!  Ever since then birds freak me out… just something about the fact that they have wings and they fly and poop on people’s heads and Whitney’s car, and they make annoying squawking noises at 5:00 in the morning.  I’ve almost had magpie soup for breakfast a few times… who wants to join me for brunch tomorrow morning? 

Just like I’m afraid of the birds because I don’t know their intentions… for all I know that turkey could have been offering me a free massage; I’m also afraid of doing anything because I don’t know how it will turn out.  Will I fail?  Will there be hard work and brain crunches and will I have to get too far out of my comfort zone?  I don’t know the answers to those questions… and since I don’t know exactly how it’s going to turn out, it’s just easier to sit on my butt and do nothing.  I know how that butt sitting appointment is going to turn out… someone’s going to win American Idol… Marcia Brady’s nose is gonna get broke… Lucy Ricardo is going to botch up everything she does… and the folks on the Bachelorette are gonna makeout a lot and then eventually break up (side note… I do not, will not, and would not watch the Bachelor and/or Bachelorette… you seen one dating polygamist, you seen ’em all!) 

So, rather than sit here for the rest of my life wondering about the next turn in the road, I’m just going to start walking, make my own path that I can eventually look back at and be all like… That’s a mighty fine lookin’ path, Bernice… I’d be mighty proud to walk down that sucker!   Thus, the reason for the plan of action to make sure my bird gets uncaged… gotta make a plan or else nothing will get done and I’ll still be sitting around with a psychotic squawking turkey on my chest in anticipation of the next Brady Bunch marathon. 

Bucket List Item #1:  Singing CD
Date of Completion:  October 23, 2011 (my birthday)

Steps:

1 – Pick out songs to sing, find accompaniments in my voice range (either noncheesy-sounding karaoke music or piano)
2 – Call desired recording studio (Jay Richards) and ask questions about pricing, time needed to complete recording, whether he can accompany, etc.
3 – Drive 20 miles to Franklin, Idaho… buy scratch and win lottery ticket… win lottery to pay for above-mentioned recording studio!  😛
4 – Practice, practice, practice.
5 – Cut off my head to drain out the allergy goobers in my throat/nose and/or dust off the cobwebs on my vocal cords.
6 – Record songs.
7 – Scream HALLELUJAH, OPRAH at the end of the CD!

Bucket List Item #2:  Trip
Date of Completion:  By October 1, 2011 (aiming for mid Septemberish)

Steps:

1 – Pick out place to go… Palmyra, New York.
2 – Plan exact week to go, sidestepping friendly woman hormone hoarding week.
3 – Buy plane tickets (I’ll still need 2… one for me and another for the bane of my existence)
4 – Become extreme couponer to save money for trip…
5 – Make out itinerary for the week and places to stay, etc.
6 – Sew sheet bedcover for germy hotel room.
7 – Have fun!

And there we go… totally easy, right!?  I should be making time to see some progress on those steps each week, and I’ll be sure to document my progress once a week on this here blogging site… just so that I can put more of you to sleep.  This here blog is a cure for insomnia… though it still has yet to cure my insomnia!!  You can thank me later. 

One of my all-time favorite movies, which I’ve only mentioned about 8000 times on this here blog, is The Wizard of Oz.  Near the end of the movie, Glinda, the good witch of the North visits Dorothy just when she is at her lowest point, thinking she’ll never be able to return home to Kansas.  Dorothy asks Glinda if she will help her.  Glinda’s reply:  You don’t need to be helped any longer… you’ve always had the power to go back to Kansas.  To which the brainless scarecrow replies, Then why didn’t you tell her?  Glinda’s answer, Because she wouldn’t have believed me… she had to learn it for herself.  And so it is… despite never knowing it was there, I’ve always had the power to change my life… I just needed to learn it was there.  By Golly, Toto… I think she’s gonna get it yet! 

Question of the Day:  I’m ready for your action plan to accomplish your bucket list items… give it to me!

Not gonna let my negative thoughts "handicap" me any longer. Let's Do This! The sky is the limit!

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Filed under Mission: Uncage the Singing Bird, Quotes