Tag Archives: salt lake city

Brooks, Yearwood, and Cinderella’s Fairy Godmother…

History repeats itself, they say (stop it you they people) and I’ve certainly repeated my history too many times to count.  I better just not even bother making a list.  First part of September sometime, I learned that Garth Brooks and Trisha Yearwood were coming to Salt Lake City for the first time in like 17 years.  As a teeny bopper I listened to Garth Brooks’s greatest hits cassette tape like it was going out of style the next day (side note:  the cassette tape had already gone out of style, but I like to hold onto the geezer technology ways for as long as possible… plus my parents were still playing their record player, so I couldn’t see them buying my butt a CD player… as if their hair follicles were made of million dollar bills!)  Also, Trisha Yearwood is like one of my voice idols and I pretty much owned every single last one of her CDs after I had turned 16 and got a job to pay for them.

I convinced Madre that we needed to go (although she was NOT as excited as I was) and so we geared up to hop on the computers the morning the tickets went on sale.  I pride myself on being a ticket snagging queen… I have specifications of what kind of tickets I want (aisle seat, on the floor, no nose bleeds allowed), and I’m pretty persistent in getting my way in that regard, but Garth Brooks tickets… that’s a whole ‘nother beast in and of itself.

Madre and I hopped on the computer at 9:00 that morning to get in the invisible online ticket que… even thought the tickets weren’t to go on sale until 10:00.  CoughcoughGEEKScoughcough… that’s kind of like hanging out at the Star Wars convention invisible chatroom.  When 10:00 hit, we tried every trick in the book, getting seats, putting them back, getting back in line… etc., ad nauseum… waiting for the precious aisle floor seats to pop up… but they never came.  Every seat we got on 3 computers and 2 phones was in the upper bowl nosebleed section in the middle of a dagnabbed row.  PASS!!!  They added 2 more shows to the 2 they started with and still the same results… nosebleed, nosebleed, nosebleed.  After a few hours, we finally gave up the ghost and I decided to try to talk myself into not wanting to go.  Weeks passed and I had convinced myself it would be a hassle to go anyway.  Totally talked myself out of it.  I truly did NOT want to go.  It was during this time that Madre decided she REALLY wanted to go… we usually agree on things, but never at the same time.

The day before the 4 concerts began, we hopped on KSL Classifieds, found us some dagnabbed seats (NOT on the floor, but aisle seats and lower bowl would have to pass), and so I went through my usual anxiety process of deciding I might not go anyway… what if the seat was too small… too much trouble… too much traffic… too too too too…  Such is the life of my brain every time I go anywhere right up until I’m actually sitting at the event.  The seats?  FREAKING AWESOME…

Oh hi, Big G!  Plus, the seats were the ones without arms and padded, not the usual stadium seating… how lucky could a ball of anxiety gal get?

By the by… if you were wondering… Garth Brooks can put on a dang show, sons and daughters.  Firstly, he’s like the Energizer Bunny on 12 different kinds of caffeine and a no-doze IV.  He spent nearly 3 hours sprinting around the stage, jumping onto dangerous scaffolding and throwing water at the audience… all while still singing.  Uh… I could barely hold my phone up to take a picture while singing, so I have no idea how one does all that in this altitude!

It happened to be this past Saturday, Halloween.  So, there were a bunch of people wearing costumes… 2 rows in front of me sat an older lady dressed as Cinderella’s Fairy Godmother who was overly excited every time someone wearing a costume walked by her and had to take a picture of them.  I’m not sure who she was there for… the costumes or Brooks/Yearwood.  Either way, she brought in all sorts of illegal substances as well… a gallon-sized water bottle from home filled with some sort of mystery “juice.”   Probably prune juice… Cinderella was big on that.

About halfway through, Trisha Yearwood appeared straight out of the floor to sing her duet with Garth, In Another’s Eyes.  It was a surprise to Garth (re: his reaction in the video below) that she happened to be dressed as Elphaba, the wicked witch with green skin from the musical Wicked.

Not gonna lie… it was a bit weird hearing that magnificent voice come out of a green face.  But, I support all colors of voices… puke orange, purple, green… It’s not easy being green…. so says Kermit.  My only complaint… Trisha didn’t sing long enough!  She had 5 songs and an encore at the end.  I guess I’ll just have to dig out my 85 CDs and listen to those instead.

For anyone who wants to experience Friends In Low Places.  Note the falling paper streamers at the end!

The finale… green-faced Trisha dressed down singing Walk Away Joe while Garth accompanied her on the gee-tar.

We interrupt this concert recap to bring you cute Baby Weird-Hatted Fireman BoBo.  He had a shift at the fire department Halloween night, so I’m sure that’s what happened to the hat.

… and scene…

Was it worth the anxiety and the ticket issues… as they say in Cowboyville… yer darn tootin’ Trudy!   One of the best concerts I’ve been to (on par with Celine Dion).  I’m not sure if Madre would agree… tell the people Madre?   Brooks/Yearwood… don’t make it another 20 years before you come back to SLC again!   You can leave Cinderella’s Fairy Godmother in the fairy tale, though.


Filed under Life

Adíos Muchacho…

Saturday we went down Centerville/Salt Lake City way to attend my step-nephew, Christian’s missionary farewell.  On Wednesday he will be flying to Mexico City, Mexico to the Missionary Training Center, and from there will spend the next two years in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania’s Spanish-speaking mission.  Boy how time flies when you’re fighting acne flares.  It seems like just yesterday when he was 12 years old torturing his brother and the geezer cat.

We went to dinner at this little hole-in-the-wall Thai food restaurant, which frankly, when we pulled up scared the bagoobers out of me as it was a rundown old place situated next to a Tai Chi studio and a nail salon.  Nevermind… I’ll search the roads for the freshest kill and build up a fire.  It turned out to be good food, though, so I guess the moral of the story… don’t judge a book by its restaurant building.

From closest to camera, clockwise… Christian, Ethan, Shayne, Lindsay, Madre, Aunt Mel, Uncster Phil, Uncster Shane (he who served a mission to Thailand and still has some impressive Thai language skillz), Pretty Jean, Padre (checking the sports scores?), and Christian’s date (whose name I forgot… FORGIVE ME)!  That’s a table full of good people, if you ask me.  Even our Thai hostess had to take a picture of us on her own phone because we were such model restaurantees.

On Sunday, Christian gave an excellent farewell talk at church and then we had to stand in a line 600 feet deep full of all of his friends to get this picture.  One of the many reasons he’ll make a great missionary… everyone likes Christian.

The people of Philadelphia are gonna be some lucky folk to get to have Christian grace their city for two years.  He’s a quality guy, smart as two whips, kind, and knows his spiritual stuff!  We’ll miss the dude out this way, though.  Adios muchacho… see you in two years!

PS- Family… if anyone needs to know what to get me for Christmas, it would be this house and a partridge in a pear tree.

Doesn’t it make you want to curl up in front of a fire with a Dickens novel and a carafe of hot chocolate!?  Consequently, while I was taking this photo, some dude in a big white truck stopped in the middle of the road, rolled his window down, and asked if I needed help.  Apparently, I have the look of a lost soul on a regular basis.  This is time 8000 someone has thought I had dementia and forgot where my home was.


Filed under Family

Cascade Springs and Lemons…

Originality in title doesn’t seem to be my strong suit tonight.  Let’s call a dog doo what it is here, folks… a dog doo!  Tomorrow starts Fall Semester up at USU for me.  I swear I just finished summer semester 7 days ago… oh wait… I did.   No rest for the Wicked Witch of the Klutz family!   I had things to square away before the start of the semester, so I took a couple of days off of work to try to make a square peg fit into a round hole, and basically didn’t succeed… but it’s the thought that counts!   Friday was my planned tag-along-with-Madre fun-day before the onslaught of sitting on my amply-padded receptacle for 24/7 began!  

Fun-day this time was supposed to include a Salt Lake City food truck tour excursion… except that didn’t actually end up happening… we had no food from any food trucks… not for lack of trying, though.  It rained quite heavily for at least half the day, and so some of them packed up and left… no one wants to eat a soggy hamburger!  I’m just saying.  

Instead I drug Madre on an excursion up the Uinta Mountains to see what they call Cascade Springs.  It was a lot longer drive than the internet told me it would be, and Madre wasn’t so excited to make said excursion, but we went anyway because I was in the mood to fall down a mountain dag blastit!  Don’t question it!  Just do it! 

The trail was paved, although not evenly paved and rocking horse shoes on uneven surfaces is never a smart idea when you’re born with the gift of Klutz-dom, but I just inched along like a 110-year-old with a catheter and managed to not fall on my face once… although I almost did approximately 57 times… give or take 40 times.  

There were signs warning us not to drink the water… really!?  Do people not know this in the year 2014?  

The nature/short hike in was in memory of sweet Spencer…

After the springs, Madre got to stop at a new outlet mall in Lehi, Utah where I once again prepared my thesis for why there were couches in the actual bathroom… not a place I enjoy lounging.  Nursing mothers… blah, blah, blah… I’m sure they don’t want to lounge in there either!  

Because we missed the food trucks, we instead stopped at Pizzeria Limone where they specialize in uniquely-topped artisan pizzas.  Um… who knew lemon slices on a pizza would be like deliciosity in a bowl of weird!?  

I would recommend the lemon slice pizza… just… trust me!   When pizza gives you lemons… drink lemonade on the side!  

The day ended with a visit to Lindsay’s, a few more stores, and then when trying to get home through our usual Sardine Canyon route, found out at 11:00 at night that Sardine Canyon had been totally closed in both directions due to the rain falling 2 huge, car-sized boulders in the middle of the road!  Oh Utah… what will you do next!?  


Filed under Life

Naturally Buble…

We bought tickets to go to the Michael Buble concert in Salt Lake City wayyyyyyyyyyy back in May-ish.  I immediately forgot that it was coming up until I was reminded the night before (this past Monday night) that the concert was the next day.  WHAT!?  Where did that whole dang year go?  I probably ate it.

We had pretty good seats… except for the time when a few minutes after this pic was taken, a dude carrying a 5-billion pound backpack and a motorcycle helmet came and sat in front of me… and then proceeded to sit his stash on top of my foot space.  I can’t tell you how many times I kicked that bicycle helmet… in a friendly way, mind you.  It was more of a friendly pat than a kick… a hate love pat.

These were my concert-going compadres.  We’d arrived about half an hour early, so spent that half hour trying to get a decent picture.  Didn’t work… no matter which direction we took the picture in SOMEONE wasn’t happy.  Madre lost the battle on this one because the one who was closest to the camera ended up looking like one of the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade gigantisized balloons while the folks in the background looked tiny in comparison.  Sorry, Madre… thanks for taking one for the team!  😛  Notice I didn’t put any of me in here.  I was rivaling the Snoopy balloon in all of mine.

I didn’t know what to expect as far as opening acts go, and honestly had no clue who his opening act would be.  By gosh these fellas were good!  It was an accapella group by the name of Naturally 7 but they were far and above any accapella group I’d ever heard.  They specialized in what they called “Vocal Play,” a “wall of sound.”  They made their voices sound like every instrument you could imagine, and it wasn’t the cheesy-sounding, like the people who think they sound like a trumpet but really sound like a duck being strangled.  I was busy looking for the guitar that must have been off stage!  My favorite song they sang was a version of Fix You by Coldplay.  Beautiful!

Naturally 7 you just made a new fan… naturally!  😛

Next up… the man of the hour… Michael Buble!  He was fun… and classic… and all that good stuff.  You really can’t go wrong with a big band/orchestra and standards… plus some of his original songs thrown in for good measure!

At one point he walked down the aisle right next to where we were sitting and I turned into a Bieber Fever teeny bopper fangirl or some such nonsense.  I don’t normally get star struck… they’re people… they just happen to have more money than I do and a better hair stylist.  But, when he walked down the aisle right past me, my hand automatically shot out so I could touch his sleeve… uber creepy, y’all!  It was like space aliens inhabited my body.

I captured the uber creepy moment on video… the body guards could have wrastled my alien self to the ground… mark my words on that one!

This was the point in the concert where it rained hearts and I almost had a heart attack… literally… hearts were attacking left and right.

‘Twas a fun way to spend a Tuesdee night.  The alien has left my body, friends.  I am now back to thinking Bieber Fever needs a shower and a good swift kick to the rear patookus.  The world will thank me!

Bonus videos:

The one where he sings some Jackson 5 with Naturally 7, would that make it Naturally 8?

The one where he sings one of my favorite songs, You Don’t Know Me.



Filed under Life

Birthday Shenanigans…

This past Wednesday I turned 8 billion minus 7, 999,999,965… so basically nearing geezerhood.  To wallow in my self-pity, I decided to take the day off from work (thank you co-workers who don’t read this blog anyway) and do whatever the helium balloon I wanted to do for a day.  I was kind of spontaneous, well, as spontaneous as fork-up-her-britches girl can be.   The day started out early when we headed to Herm’s Inn for breakfast.  I ain’t gonna lie,  I had seen advertised via their Facebook page pumpkin pancakes with pecan brittle, so I was basically drooling out the side of my mouth holes for a bite of that concoction.  I was sorely disappointed when I arrived and found that had been a one-day special and I’d missed the day.  Eight days late and no-amount-of-money short.  How hard could it have been to whip up a pumpkin batter?  For serious!

MOVING ON!  Next, we started on our way to Salt Lake City, stopping at the newly-invented Amish store in Willard along the way.  Now, I’m not exactly sure why Willard, population 1750, was the ideal spot for a new store… but y’all need to shop there so that Whitney can have an Amish experience every few months!  You hear!?

They had all sorts of canned vegetables/fruit.  Like, stuff I would have never considered canning (let alone eating outside a can).  It reminded me of a quaint country store from Little House on the Prairie days… not that I was alive back in them days, but you’d never know to look at me.  I also discovered something about  buffaloes that totes evaded my knowledge base for all these years.

Well, crack me a bumbleberry, Amos… Buffaloes in the Amish country lay themselves some eggs!  Magical creatures if I’ve ever heard any.  I won’t be able to tell you what these taste like or if you find any horns inside of the eggs since I didn’t purchase any… but these are the kinds of things I can look forward to if you all SHOP AT THE AMISH STORE!  Thank you.  No excuse if you live states away… get yer hide on down here!

Meanwhile, I know that Amish folk drive horse and buggy, so I was a little a-feared about what kind of berry was used to make the following jam:

So, if horses are their traffic, is that like a horse berry!?  I don’t even want to know!

After perusing the Amish store for way too long, we finally made it down to Salt Lake City, minus stops at a few Kohl’s stores along the way.  Madre was trying to find her size in a sweater they didn’t have in the Logan Kohl’s.  She didn’t find her size at any of the Kohl’s we checked out either… then we went back home to Logan and the next day she found her size… because that is how it works.   Look and ye shan’t recieve!  Look again, and it kicks you in the mouth.

The rest of the day was spent stopping wherever we got the fancy to stop.  There were stops at some JoAnn’s crafing stores to purchase some crafting supplies I’m sure I’ll sit on for 10 years.  There was a stop at a Krispy Kreme for a pumpkin donut (you best believe I didn’t count calories this day… I think that’s a given on your birthday).   There was a stop at Trader Joe’s… I LOVE TRADER JOE’S!!!

Also, I’m starting a petition for them to build one in Logan… I have 2 signatures so far… who the heck is next!?  Trader Joe’s had like every pumpkiny thing you could ever imagine because it’s pumpkin season, and I learned that they switch out their stuff at the next holiday… consider me already down there the first part of December!

Trader Joe’s was where Madre found her one true love… brussel sprout bush, which she bought and swears she loves eating brussel sprouts!  We will see.

We also had our pictures taken in front of the fountain at City Hall (in case I ever do something illegal in the county, I’ll know where to go), except Madre kind of missed the fountain during my picture turn… and instead I got brown weeds!  😛

Imagine a fountain to your left!

We wrapped up the day by eating at the 2013 Award Winner for best Asian food according to SLC Magazine… J. Wong’s Asian Bistro where I had General Tao’s Tofu and Vegetables… and we shared some mango sticky rice!  Hallelujah!

Now, just waiting for my fortune to come to fruition, and my birthday wish will have come true!  Even if I missed out on the pumpkin pancakes!


It might have been a bad sign that on the way back to the car after getting said fortune, I passed this…

Pretty sure, hooded skeletore dude stole my fortune!  Let’s blame him for the pancakes too!



Filed under Life

Convenience Minus Exercise Equals Fat Butt Syndrome…

This weekend Madre and I hightailed it down to the land of smog and fire burning (aka Salt Lake City in August) to hang out like 2 old crows.  I actually played the role of both old crows.  Madre was more a delicate butterfly on the wings of a kookaburra.  I reckon I learnt that from some poetree I read on a napkin once.   While there we met sister, Lindsay and nephew, Ethan for lunch at this joint recommended by the Studio 5 website.  They recommended it for the outdoor seating, but it was like 1:30 in August, so sitting outside in 100 degrees plus wasn’t my idea of a fabulous plan!  We parked our car in a space that required pay via a self-serve pay booth majiggy… stick your debit card or cash in and select how many hours you want to be ripped off for.  PERFECTION!  There were 2 ladies in front of us at the nearest pay booth majiggy.  I’m horrible at guessing ages, so I’ll say they were between the ages of 45 and 65 and call it a day.  Pick an age.  The one lady couldn’t get the buttons to press the amount of hours, so she was resembling a crow stuck inside a tar bin with all of her shrieking and eventually called the 800-number on the side of the pay majigger.  They walked her through the stuff again and at the same spot, she coudn’t get the button to press.  The representative on the phone suggested she walk to another pay majigger and pay there.  That’s when the hurricane hit… or the hurricane brought about by a lady allergic to exercise.   WHAT!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!  The nearest pay booth is HALF A BLOCK AWAY!!!!!!!  

She was totes exaggerating too… I could see TWO pay booths approximately 50 feet in either direction, but that didn’t stop her from ripping the representative on the line a new one.  Really!?  Over walking a few feet?  I got to remembering how painful it was for me to walk even a few feet at 530 pounds… especially in the heat.  I’d be worn out for the rest of the day after such a feat, and so I’d have to have someone drop me off right at the door to avoid the walk in from the parking lot.  That’s just a lot of weight to heft around… especially when one is so horribly out of shape.  The world’s conveniences do play a role in our nation’s weight problem.  Anymore you can press a button  and have everything done for you.  Not like the olden days where to eat supper, you had to kill your own steer, skin it, string it up, cut it, build a fire, and slave over a hot flame just to eat a dagnabbed steak.  What lazy butts we are!   Hi, Texas RoadHouse… give me the bloody bell special with a side of lard sauce.  

That lady made me want to run a marathon… but then I remembered my last attempted half marathon and put the kabosh on that thought… might as well watch one on TV instead!  😉

Question of the Day:  What is the one modern convenience that you are most grateful for?  

Obviously this is not a quality picture of the place we ate lunch at… but if you like Greek/Mediterranean food, I highly recommend this joint!   It is called Aristo’s Greek Restaurant and Cafe  and it was delicious and fresh and delicious!  I had an eggplant and zucchini, tomato, onion, and lettuce gyro with tzatziki and a side of Greek potatoes with lemon.  I wonder if they deliver the 90 miles to Logan?  😛

I also stood next to a live turkey for a good 5 minutes and did not hyperventilate once!!  This is a story I’m sure I’ve told, but I have a fear of birds (especially turkeys) after one attacked me on my grandma’s ranch, knocked me down to the ground, and sat on my chest flapping its wings at me.  Stupid birds!

Bahahahahahahahaha… just following my friendly flower garden’s orders.

For your viewing pleasure… here is Lindsay’s 20-pound cat, Harley attempting to smoosh himself into a too-small-box.  Excuse the blurry quality at the beginning… it rights itself.


August 19, 2013 · 1:00 am

Meat Me In The Parking Lot…

No, I didn’t misspell that first word, you English majors with a stick up your vocabulary… it is referring to the fleshy creatures one slaps on the barbecue with a side of horseradish… which incidentally does NOT come from a horse… thank you very much, Burger King!  The kind of meat of which I have not sampled for 4+ years as one of those really annoying vegetarian people… which I really regret telling anyone because you know how people are… when they think vegetarian, they think really healthy skinny waif of a creature… not some lumbering rhino in a pink tutu.  Give it up… all vegetarians ain’t Twiggy… and all meat eaters ain’t Fat Albert… it’s the way of the world.  I like to think of it as me bucking the system… take that ye who judge on outward appearance!

That paragraph made sense only 1/3 of the time and I’m only working on 1/3 attention span right now, so you’ll have to forgive my ramblings.  Back to the topic.  Saturday, Madre was heading up Salt Lake City way to take Lindsay to a cooking class at Orson Gygi.  Something about a belated birthday present.  I, of course, said I didn’t want to attend the cooking class only for the reason that it’s hard to get out of sampling all the meat dishes.  I decided very last minute that I’d ride down anyway and sit in the car in the parking lot for 3+ hours reading my Biology textbook and memorizing words for The Garden.  Quality time spent… some creepy chic wearing a Snuggie sitting in the parking lot.  I thought it would be good motivation for me to get those things the crap done… because there was nothing else to take my attention away (coughcough… besides the half hour nap I snuck in coughcough)!   Turns out there are other things to do in a parking lot full of people coming and leaving… I watched a lady picking a wedgie for 15 good minutes of non-quality entertainment.  I also got to experience a nasty overflowed toilet when I thought I should use the public restroom, but upon entering and seeing the floor full of water, I decided I could hold it for 2 more hours… UTI here I come!   It’s a wonder I even had time to crack open the textbook!

When the madre and sister were done, we had to stop by Ruby Snap Gourmet Cookies… holy cowfriends those things are good!  They were giving out samples of some new kind of cookie… described to me as a maple chocolate chip cookie… safe, right?  I bit into it and got a cookie full of bacon!  The HORRORS!!!!  😛  How mature is it to spit out a mouthfull of food?  Because I’m thinking it’s at least 30-something-year-old mature… correct?  Nothing against flabby pig flesh, but I so wasn’t ready to partake in the bacon flavoring… especially next to a chocolate chip… that’s just blasphemous right there!  My favorite of the cookies I tried was a cookie called The Lilly… a lemon cookie with lemonheads and lemon glaze… she’s so silly!  Or there was this cherry one that was fan-freaking-tabulous!  Calorizers of the world, unite!  😛  NOT!

Lessons learned… next time wear blindfolds in the parking lot for 3 hours, bring a catheter, and never trust a maple cookie!  I think that was a day full of accomplishments if you ask me… and nobody did but I’m telling you anyway!

Question of the Day:  What’s your favorite cookie flavor?  What’s the weirdest food you’ve had containing bacon?  



Filed under Getting A Life