Tag Archives: seats

Excuse You… That Is NOT A Weapon… and Giveaway Winners!

First things first… as promised, the announcement of the TWO extremely prestigious and high brow winners of my Biggest Geezer Loser Dessert Cookbook Giveaway will be announced right now (try saying that sentence 8 times with a mouth full of saltines).  No joking around up in these parts.  I assigned everyone who entered a number… 1 to 20 (those who entered via the blog and FB got themselves TWO numbers) and then I went to the website random.org and had them generate me 2 lucky numeros.  The winners…. drum roll… have you ever noticed that people who wear socks with sandals also tend to wear knee high socks with shorts (hi dad)?

Deanna V. (as in Victor)


Erinn D.

Baby circles!!  Congratulations you two!  If y’all two wouldn’t mind sending me your shipping address to whitney78@gmail.com, it would be a whole lot more accurate than using my psychotic skillz to think up your pad numbers… just trust me on that front.  I ain’t no Sylvia Browne.


Secondly… HI!  Long time no talk.  Though, I’m sure most of you may have felt a sense of relief not having to read my rambling nonsensicalness on a daily basis.  I know I did!!  And that be the truth!  I accomplished quite a bit this last week… and I only got arrested once… out of twelve possible times!  I’d say that’s some good odds right there.  I’ll probably use most of this week to spell out what went down last week… and I’m sure no one gives a whipper snapper what went down this past week, but I’m a future Alzheimer Patient All-Star, so I always have to have my happenings writ down somewheres.  Just so one day I can look back at it and be like… who’s Whitney and what the helium balloon is she blabbering about?

I had to get up at butt o’clock in the morning to drive the 90 miles to the airport to board the plane.  Butt o’clock is hecka early in case you aren’t familiar with it… wayyyyy before 10:00… I’m just saying.  I think I ran on approximately 2 hours of sleep the whole week.  There’s no time to sleep when you have things to do!

The airport… definitely not my favorite place to hang out.  Strip searching is always something I look forward to… you get a hold of one of my luxuriously soft fat flabs and you’ll want to nap for 8 days straight!  That’s what happened.  One of my worst fears going through the security check point at the airport.  The lady had to pat down my fat flabs.  I guess she thought I’d stuffed a weapon up one of them… or a kilo of marijuana.  What do you look at when that’s going on anyway?  It’s so awkward and embarrassing and frankly my personal space half-acre bubble will never be the same!  I exaggerate… it was awkward, but not as horrible as I’d built it up in my brain to be.  I always plan for the worst, so that way I can be pleasantly surprised if it’s only half as horrid as I’d thunk up.

Owing to my trip in October of last year to the East coast where I was unable to fit between the 2 arms of the plane seat, I once again planned on 2 plane seats.  The bane of my existence does NOT like to share it’s half acre space.  I was hugely disappointed when I flew in October and wasn’t able to put the seat arm down.  I’m proud to say that this time… SUCCESS!!!  I haven’t lost much if any poundage since October of last year, but that is not the only way to measure success.  Even if the scale hadn’t been going down, the middle portion was shrinking.  I think next time I could do with one seat… although, I’ll probably still try the 2 seat thing because it’s awesome to be able to have breathing room.  I ain’t gonna lie.  Claustrophobia is issue number 34894894u19unfafla on my issue list.

NSVs all over the place… and it isn’t even 8:00 yet!  I’m out.  More about day 1 manana!  Have a fabulous Monday, my pals!

Question of the Day:  Which seat do you prefer when flying… window or aisle or middle?  Have you ever had to be patted down through the security check point?  

PS – Happy Birthday to my sweet cuzzin, Jen-Jen!!  Have a great day, Bill Nye the Science Guy!  😛


Filed under Getting A Life, Giveaway

Wicked To the Bone, DoDo…

I was totes Wicked this weekend… pretty sure I’ll be banned from any sort of heavenly place.  Friday, I headed to the big city to be Wicked… when we got there cuzzins Jen and her husband Seth had made the drive from Idaho… no Udaho… to be Wicked with us.  We were all Wicked.  Totes peer pressure if you ask me!

We were actually there to attend the traveling Broadway production of the musical, Wicked!  I had never seen it before.  I’d heard the music and liked a few of the songs, but it was never a LOVE kind of like… more of a… Oh, that’s a song kind of like.  Nothing like the way I adored every single song in the musical Les Miserables… but I had seen that musical on a hand full of occasions.

First set of business was dinner.  Madre had picked this place in the new City Creek great and spacious mall structure called Texas De Brazil… some Brazilian steak house.  Mmmmmm… vegetarian Brazilian cows!  She even made reservations.  We show up… entered in the wrong back door because we all live in hick towns… and then had to traipse all the way through the restaurant… everyone staring at us like we just hopped off the Beverly Hillbilly cart, to the front of the restaurant where a hostess would seat us.  We sat, someone brought us out rolls and water… and then a waitress chic came over to explain how the restaurant worked.  No menus… salad bar and meat… period.  That was when we asked the prices… dude… 42 bucks per person.  And I know it was per person because we asked if she meant that’s the price for the whole table.  I ain’t paying 42 bucks to eat a few lettuce leaves and glare at a bleeding piece of meat with a bell around it’s neck.  No how.  Cheap skate… through and through.  Also, poor as a field mouse and more used to paying $5.00 specials at the Subway.    Needless to say, we all left… stole some breath mints on the way out too for our inconvenience!  😛  Instead, we traipsed back across the mall to Kneaders, the sandwich shop… way more up my alley.  Good laws!

Anyways… Wicked.  The story of the witches in the Wizard of Oz… very creative… hilarious… fun… touching… and awesome.  I loved it… even if I did spend the whole 2-1/2 hours smelling the dude in front of me’s body odor.  An extra added bonus… the last time I went to the Capitol Theatre, I was a teenager… years ago.  I couldn’t fit in the seats.  I sat with my butt on the very edge of the seat for the whole production… miserable the whole dagnabbed time… trying to make myself smaller so the poor folks next to me didn’t die of claustrophobia.  It didn’t work.  The lady next to me left after intermission… she was way too squished with my fat blobules spilling out all sides of the seat.  I vowed I’d never go back to that theater again.  It was humiliating and I was scarred.  I was nervous going this time because of the seats… I don’t know why… I weigh considerably less than I did as a teenager… things would be different.  I wanted to cry when I sat in my seat with no issue at all… I even had room.  What a difference a few hundred pounds make… even if I’m not moving much right now… it’s still important to remember where I’ve been… because I won’t ever be going back there!  Mark my words, DoDo!

Wicked… see it if you ever have the opportunity… for certain.  Thanks to Karen for nudging me to go… even if I was scared of the seating for no reason.  😛

Question of the Day:  Have you seen Wicked or read the book?  Do you have a favorite song from Wicked?  




Filed under Getting A Life