Tag Archives: self discovery

The List…

I’ve seen this “list” on my calorizing site, MyFitnessPal on several different occasions.  It kept pulling me in and I’ve decided I’m going to bite the bullet (why in the frim fram sauce would anyone bite a bullet on purpose!?  Unless they star on that Weird Cravings show on TLC) and attempt to do it.  Obviously, I didn’t start it on the correct date seeing as today is the 10th of November.  But, I think I can double up some of the days and catch up in no time.   If anyone else wants to take the challenge with me, either use my comments below to answer the question or post the link to your blog where you answered it.  FUNNNNNNN!!!!   Or if not fun, at least self discovering and a step in the right healthy lifestyle direction.

Write one thing you love about yourself that you didn’t before.

Start me out with the hardest question of the bunch why don’t you.  Whatever happened to easing into the pot of magical witch brew!?  I feel like I’m scalding myself.  I can’t say I’ve ever thought about things I love about myself, mostly because I never felt like there was anything about me to love.  I was a big ole fat failure, counting down the days until I didn’t have to think about it anymore… because a dead person doesn’t have to think… do they?  I merely existed, going through the motions of life just because I had to… certainly not because I wanted to… and I lost years of my life living like that stuck in that pathetic little world of self-hatred and depression so thick I could cut it with a knife.  Those years bring up dark memories.  I don’t like to think about them and yet I need to… it’s all part of the healing process because this isn’t about losing weight in the sense that I’m becoming a smaller human… it’s about shedding all of the baggage that got me to the point of weighing 530 pounds in the first place.  That baggage will always be with me… always… I just have to learn how to manage it so that it doesn’t take control of me like it once did.

So, what do I love about myself now that I didn’t before?  My persistence.  I could have given up long ago.  There were numerous times when I was tempted just to say to heck with it, this is how it’s going to be, but deep down I somehow knew that wasn’t what I wanted, so I’d doggedly get back up and try again… and fail again… until one day it clicked and it actually registered in my head space that this was not some temporary thing but a lifelong process.  I wake up in the morning faced with choices… if I choose the wrong thing this day, I can wake up tomorrow and try to choose better.  When you think about it, it’s not all that hard of a concept, and yet it’s the hardest thing I have EVER done in my entire life.

Question of the Day:  What’s one thing you love about yourself that you didn’t before? 


If anyone else is participating in the List of FUNNNNN… I’m posting the whole list here for reference of what’s going to be coming up in the coming days so you can prepare, all the way to December 31st, 2011!

Continue reading

22 Comments

Filed under The List