Tag Archives: Thanksgiving

Cannibalistic Turkeys…

I hope y’all had a very grateful and thankful day of tofurkeying.  As for Black Friday, I hope y’alls eyes are still intact on account of the fact that I used to work at K-Mart for years and I HATED Black Friday because every grown woman and their dog was willing to poke somebodies eye out to get the last Furby doll.  What were we thinking late 90s/early 2000s!?  That Furby thing is 54 kinds of hideous.  It’s like if a blobfish and a warthog gave birth and then the offspring got run over by a bulldozer on Tuesdee.  I ain’t even playing, player.

This year we had two turkeys… one for the cannibalistic grandmothers of the world (see above)… and then one for the rest of us (see below).  Baby BoBo Bear practically gets eaten alive with all of his kiss hungry relations.  Stop the madness, says poor BoBo Bear!

Ignore Whitney’s Cutie clementine bags… I was down to 2 bags by Thursday, so I bought 2 more on Saturday.  SUE ME!

Looks like those rat infestators got their hands on a piece of the apple pie slab and rolls BEFORE dinner.  The lack of manners is appalling!

Y’all need to try this heavenly creation of crackitude!  I die every time.  It’s this whole cranberry/jalapeno/cilantro spread over cream cheese for crackers!  Oh mylanta lands of frigidaire is it ever delicious.

After everyone had gorged themselves on carbohydrates, I got to rock Baby BoBo Bear to sleep whilst the rest of the family played a game of cards… I say rest of the family but I really mean the rest of the family, except the paranoid first-time baby mom Lindsay, who had to come and check on me in the other room every 3 minutes so as to make sure that I hadn’t taken to suffocating and/or playing human dodge ball with her child.  Gosh… slam dunk the kid once and it’s like I’ll never live it down!  😛  JOKES… no BoBos were harmed in the typing of this blog post.

How was everyone else’s Thanksgiving!?  Did you cook?  Who did you have over?  Favorite dish?

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Thanking My Lucky Clementines…

Y’all… run out to the nearest grocery bin and buy up all the Cutie clementines!  They are finally in season and mark my words when clementines are in season they are in season for approximately 52 minutes before the nastier Cutie mandarins come in and take their place.  I’ve held a grudge against the nastarins (nasty + mandarins = nastarins) since I figured out the sly trick they pull every year.  Right now I have 3 bags of clementines for me alone… will that be enough to last the whole winter?  NO!  I need more!  Someone check back with me in 2 weeks and ask me how many moldy rancid clementines I have.   Answer… at least 3 bags give or take how many more I buy between now and then in my panic to preserve clementine season.

***

It’s that time of year… the time of year I quit being crusty for 4-1/2 seconds and reminisce about the things I’m thankful for… this year and every year.  Again, broken record here, but I’m just going to point out that the things I’m thankful for every year rarely change.  Funny how that works.  I guess if I can continue being thankful for the same things year after year after year, that is only ever a good thing, and must mean that those things I’m thankful for every year are constants and not fleeting flash in the pan happinesses.  I’d say that requires another bag of clementines in celebration.  CLEMENTINES FOR EVERYONE!  Without further adieu, my thankfulnesses 2015 version, in no particular order.

I’m thankful for my family, for the people they are and the support they show me.  It’s nice to know that a group of wild hyenas have my back at all times… even if most of those times they may or may not want to stab me in it… understood… I’ve seen it all on 48 Hours: Mystery.  I’m thankful for my innocent sweet baby BoBo and his ability to bring us all together and make us all smile and remember what this life is all about.

 

Side note:  Madre is a serious baby BoBo hog and everyone on all sides of the family know what to do when she is around… tie her to the nearest chair and haul off to the next county with the baby in tow.

I’m thankful for sweet friends, those who I may not see or talk to on a regular basis, but when we do get together it’s like no time has passed at all.  I truly cherish the friendships I have made over the years and am thankful for all that you put up with to remain my pal.  CLEMENTINES FOR YOU ALL READING THIS!

I’m thankful for gifts and talents that I’ve been blessed with.  It’s easy for me to compare myself to others, and when I do I fall 8 billion miles short on all fronts, but I fail to remember that I’m here to be Whitney… unique in abilities and talents.  I’m a conglomeration of all the things God saw fit to bless me with, and to take those for granted would be doing a big disservice to my Heavenly Father and to myself.  I’m thankful for my ability to become one with a song, one with the lyrics and the music until it’s like I’m living whatever journey the song is taking me on.  I’m thankful for my interpretive skills and for the joy, peace, and comfort that singing brings me.  I recently did a 45-minute singing and nondancing program at the Maple Springs Assisted Living in Brigham City a week or so ago.  I found myself griping about feeling flustered trying to get off work, and drive the 30+ miles each way in the middle of a work day.  Madre asked why I always say yes, and it was only then it hit me… because that’s where I get my joy.  Those sweet assisted living folks aren’t the benefactors, I am.  So, thank  you for indulging me and letting me find my joy on occasion.  In the meantime, I’ll sit down and shut up on the griping front.

I am thankful for a God who is quite the painter of beauty.  The nature that he blesses us all with, ever changing with the seasons, is something that I never get tired of looking at… and attempting to photograph on my 0.000000555 pixel camera phone.  My majestic mountains that let me know I’m home… the trees like tall spindly kindred spirits.  One of my favorite things to do is to watch the clouds.  Those fluffy balls of cotton roaming amidst an ocean of blue sky bring me so much peace.

I’m thankful for my freedom and the ability I have to geezerify my way through college at the ripe old age of 20 plus 90.  I’m also grateful that there is now a light at the end of my neverending schooling tunnel.  When I first began 4 or 5 years ago now,  I was overwhelmed by how long it was going to take me to finish only going part time so that I could also work full time.  The thought of it made me want to quit on the spot, but I’ve stuck with it.  I’ve surpassed every negative “can’t do it” thought and busted my way through to near completion… me, the girl who is known for starting things but never finishing them.

I’m thankful for a job, a roof over my head (even if I daydream way too often about a place of my own), food on the table (too much of it most times, but food nonetheless), my best kitty Lucy-Fur (even if she’s annoying the heck out of me at nights now that it is getting cold and she wants in and out of the house 1200 times per night).  I’m grateful to live in a country where we have access to clean water and education and freedoms that some countries don’t even get to dream of.

I’m thankful for so many more things, but this is getting long and my eyes are getting heavy, so I’ll stop here for now.  I’m thankful for all of you!  Now, go out and buy you some dagnabbed clementines!

*****

Makayla and Corbin and I played a game of… uh… who knows?  Pretty sure there were no rules until I broke one, and then they made sure to announce the new rule on the spot!

I’d also like to introduce you to a special guest we had to dinner tonight.  An original cast member from the Ten Commandments movie wearing her costume and everything!!!  For those of you who consider my mom a fashionista, I’d like to introduce you to her Sunday evening attire…

 

I rest my case…

Baby BoBear has discovered hims cute tongues…

Happy THANKSGIVING this week y’all!  If you’re traveling, do it safely.  If you’re not traveling, eat some turkey wearing Madre’s Sundee finest in her honor!

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Diciembre…

Supposedly it’s the first day of December!?  Uh… no it is not!  Stop it right there, Black Friday three shades of pickled crazy shoppers!  I would like to rewind a few weeks to June… do it all over again.  Think about it people who invented Daylight Savings and sliced bread!  For Thanksgiving, we made the 3-hour trek to Rexburg, Idaho to hang out with the Bergers… Uncle Shane and Pretty Jean (there’s an Uncle Gene in the family, so to distinguish the two, I learned Pretty Jean adopted a nickname)!  They were sweet to have all of us ragamuffins invade their home turf… and by “all” of the ragamuffins I’m referring to Whitney the Ragamuffin.  The rest of the invaders were good-looking respectable folk… there… how much money do I get for saying so?

There was food galore… a smoked turkey (done by Jean’s dad), a deep fried turkey (done by Jessica’s husband Delta), and a pressure-cooked ham (done by Jean).  There were mashed potatoes with gravy and dressing and corn and vegetables and homemade Madre rolls and sweet potaters and Jell-O salad and yummerfied pumpkin cake and 4 kinds of pie and whipped cream, and cranberry drink and Mylanta and Pepto Bismol and a side of oh my laws, did I just eat all of that!?  Much like the Grinch’s heart, Whitney’s stomach grew 5 sizes larger that day.  America… the Land of the Food Coma.  There was good company and I learned that my great great great great great grandfather (I may have added a few too many greats in there), James Sherlock Cantwell (no relation to Sherlock Holmes, I asked) had an affinity for calling a relations’ son a “supercilious puppy”.  I’m thinking even back in the early to mid-1800s that wasn’t a compliment.  I also put on a big ole show called Be as awkward as you possibly can during all conversation.  Oh laws my conversational skillz need approximately 35 billion hours of work.

I was made to tell the annual story of how I was attacked by a turkey when 5 or 6 years old while on my grandma’s farm (though, my folks say it was my Aunt Marsha’s farm… Cuzzin Carl… did you train a turkey to sic future vegetarians in your younger years?)  I really need to add embellishments to that annual story. Perhaps I can add in an alien element or some dude dressed as R2D2 walking his pet turkey… I’ll work on it.

After dinner and before dessert we had a rowsing rendition of gather round the piano where we butchered many a lovely Christmas song.  JOKES!!  Everyone there had lovely voices.  I was mucho impressed even in the midst of my screeching to try to hit the high notes.  No dogs were harmed in the restarting of this old tradition.

Of course we were missing some key people, aka JenJen and Seth and family.  And of course, our sweet Spencer, who I’m sure was in heaven dining on homemade French bread to his heart’s content and wondering why we had no grilled venison Bergers down here.

Before anyone came, Dad tried to get sweet little Elise to warm up to him by feeding her oranges (it’s a running joke that she cries every time he gets near her).  That didn’t work, so he attempted to wear her headwear.

The cute baby is NOT impressed!

Auntie Jessica taught her how to sing.

The two youngest kids of Bill and Ella Berger!

Thank you for the hospitality, Uncle Shane and Pretty Jean… you did good!

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Turkey-Giving… Annual Thankful Post…

Well, it’s that time of year again… the time of year where I quit my negativity woe-is-me rampage and be publicly thankful for all of 12 seconds.  It’s my 12 seconds of fame, except without the fame and frankly this thing is going to take longer than 12 seconds to type so I have no earthly idea what the holy jib jab I’m talking about!  If you read my thankful post last year… you can stop reading now because I’m pretty much thankful for a lot of the same things.  I mean, wouldn’t you be?  I guess I could throw in some off-the-beaten-path thankfulnesses, like the fact that I’m thankful for my new owly owl sheets that I bought one night when my tooth root was burgeoning up through my skull and attacking my eyeballs from the outside.  I giggle like a 13-year-old psychopatient every time I climb into my owly owl sheets… it makes me glee with gleefulness!  No matter that I most likely bought them from the children’s section of the website.  Stop it… I’m practically a baby!

I could also be thankful for the fact that I do not live in Buffalo, New York this past week.  I’ve been to Buffalo, New York… it is a beautiful place with Niagara Falls falling all over the joint, but seven feet of snow and possible flooding whilst waving at Noah on his Ark!?  HECK TO THE N-O-P-E!  I mean Noah is a great guy, but I’ll wait to meet him.  Also, Buffalo… I just want to let you know that you are welcome to any snow Utah may get from now through July 2015.  Welcome to it!  My klutz gene will thank you.

I’m thankful for my family, immediate and extended and even the fact that we possibly drive each other crazy on a regular basis because seriously… how not fun would family dinners be without a little bit of psycho.  I’m thankful that they put up with me on occasions, even if they are happy to make it known to me and the world that they are over my 15,000 “issues”.  Join the club!

I am thankful for sweet friends, both old (old as in long ago and far away, not old as in geezery) and new.  If you are reading this… I’m talking to you!  I am thankful for the sweet and generous people you are and the great examples you are for me, a girl occasionally lost in the world of her own brainlessness.

I am thankful for this beautiful beautiful beautiful world we live in and the fact that I have been blessed with the ability to appreciate the nature surrounding me.  There are many moments where I’ve stood in front of a view that has taken my breath away… and I say a silent prayer of thanks to God, the ultimate painter extraordinare!

I am thankful for a job and the ability to go to school again.  I’d also be thankful if we could fast forward approximately 3 weeks and I could be done with finals and my 7 billion projects I’ve procrastinated all semester!  Stop it…

I am thankful for my health.  There are days where I feel like I’m a slug on the underside of a donkey hoof, but when I think of how so many others suffer with illnesses and issues that I have not had to face, I can only be grateful.

I am thankful for second chances… and third and fourth and oh heck… let’s face it… 5 millionth chances.

I am thankful for a knowledge of life after death and a sweet picture in my mind’s eye of all of my passed-on relations sitting around a dinner table together eating carrot Jell-O and chicken and noodles with French bread.  I’m thankful for the knowledge that we will all see each other again and I can whoop them all in a mean game of Heavenly Checkers.

I am thankful for music.  Music that soothes my soul… music that has lifted me up and soared me on the wings of a DoDo Bird (but before they were extinct).  I have been blessed with the ability to get lost in a melody… in a lyric… It has soothed me in times of trial and disappointment.  It has the power to make happy moments happier and sad moments more meaningful.  Ode to Joy!

Did I mention I was thankful for my owly owl sheets!?  Because seriously…

I could go on and on and on… but I’ve hit my limit of 12 seconds of fame and I really have an appointment to meet with my owly owl sheets.  So, carry on with your days my sweet friends.

Happy Thanksgiving!  Travel safe and eat pie… and most importantly, do not read the article I just read about turkeys being recalled this year because they are all infected with an avian flu virus epidemic.  Eight years I didn’t eat as much as a spec of turkey flesh… this past 2 weeks I’ve eaten it twice!  The odds are that I’ve jinxed the turkey population.  My apologies, turkey lovers!

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Yams!?!?!?!?!?

Make a small motivational poster of pictures and quotes that you like.  It can be as small or big as you like.

I ammended this one and instead made a poster of what I wanted to do during the Christmas holidays… I’ll blog more about it next week, complete with picture of said professionally made collage. I also discovered that I am a wizard with the scissor… aka I managed to cut things that don’t require cutting (aka my shirt), and nothing on my collage has an even edge.  Sue me… I wasn’t good at scissoring in Kindergarten either!

Look up recipes that you might not like and try one anyway.  You might be surprised. 

In honor of Thanksgiving and despite the fact that I’ve tried them every year and hated them each time I tried them, I’m going to give Yams another go.  Maybe I’ll like them better not mashed, but baked.  For some reason that gritty texture makes me gag a maggot.  And then you go in figuring it’s going to taste like an orange potato, but no… it’s all sweet and gritty and you can put marshmallows and brown sugar on the top.  Ain’t nothing wrong with marshmallows and brown sugar, but I save my marshmallows for nose shooting contests… you know the ones where you stick a marshey-mallow up the ole nostril and then see who can shoot it out the furthest!?!?  Okay… forget I ever said that, nor have I ever attempted to do it… I just dry heaved a little bit at that thought.  That is plain nastified!

Take a full body picture of yourself and see the progress you’ve made.

Oh goodie gumdrops in a puddle of Wonka sweat… my least favorite pastime.  I’m counting the fact that I took full length pictures a couple of months ago… no need to have to put me through that twice in the same year.  Though, I am making progress as I find my side view easier to notice differences… the front view… not so much!!

*****

You all remember the kitty I was trying to hawk on this blog earlier this summer?  The little bitty kitty silver tabby kitten with the high-pitched mew and the love of climbing up tall trees and not being able to get down?  The one that hung out at the house in the garage for 2 months?  We finally did find a home for her in approximately mid August of this year… and that was that or so I thought.

Two months later in October, I got word that the new owners were going to have to give it back because it did not get along with their existing cat.  Oh lawsy.  We had worked so hard to find a home for it and it kept coming back to me.  Lindsay jumped on that opportunity to keep reminding me that it must be meant to be… only a few weeks after my sweet 22-year-old cat passes away and another one is falling into my lap yet again.  How many times are you going to ignore that, Lindsay kept saying.  Personally, I was still working on getting Lindsay to take it home to add to her collection of cats.

Meet, my new kitty, Lucy…

She does a lot of this… and she wreaks havoc on the Christmas tree Madre is putting up.  She also found out how to be my personal heater/back rest on those frigid days:

She also STILL climbs up tall things and then can’t get down:

Such is the life of a spoiled brat kitty.  Lucy, you got some ‘splainin’ to do!!

Question of the Day:  What is your favorite way to eat a yam/sweet potater?  Any toppings besides brown sugar and marshmallows?

HAPPY THANKSGIVING tomorrow, y’all Americans!  I hope you all have a fabulous time hanging with your families and waiting in line for the Black Fridee sales so you can play tug of war with a slightly psychotic woman/man over the last Cabbage Patch doll.  As a heads up, I won’t be blogging Thursday or Friday, but I’ll be back at it come Mondee, so hope to see you all then.

 

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Thanks A Lot… For Nothing!

Can you all believe that To-Fur-Key Day is in 2 days… count them… TWO DAYS!  I am not ready for the fact that 2012 is just over a month away, mainly because I haven’t conquered my goal of winning the lottery in the year 2011 yet… and secondly, 12/12/12… you put 2 and 2 together and get some whacko dude who thinks he’s prophesying the world will end.

I seem to focus a lot on the bad end of the stick things that happen to me and forget all about all the many things that I am totally grateful for.  When it all comes down to it, I’m a blessed girl… an ungrateful, whining brat of a blessed girl, but a blessed girl nonetheless.   In honor of the Thanksgiving holiday and the fact that I snarked at a car with Idaho license plates who insisted on driving in front of me in the fast lane going 15 mph for the whole of Main Street, it’s about time that I list some of the things that I’m thankful for… I said SOME… I don’t have all night here, so if I miss something that you think I should be grateful for, shove it back in your pie hole and leave me in peace!  There, I said it… but it was really not pointed at you, did you hear me half comatose Idaho license plate chic!?

— I’m thankful for my family… Ma, Pa, Lindz, Shayne, Christian, Ethan, Jen-Jen, Seth, Jess, all of my many awesome aunts and uncles and cuzzins up the wahooza… those still on this Earth, those waiting on the other side for my ungrateful rear to get in gear, and the Ghost of Christmas past.  I love you guys and am grateful that you have been blessed with my presence for 33 years.  Oops… I meant thank you for putting up with all of my short-comings and issues and the fact that I am a bobblehead and a mean SOG (son of a gun) during hormone hoarding time.  In short… thank you (all proceeds from this groveling will go to the Whitney Wins the Lottery in 2011 Fund).

— I’m thankful for my friends (near and far) and neighbors and acquaintances and every last one of you who take the time to read these ramblings and are silently cheering me on from the grandstand and have been brainwashed by my illy-gotten English language knowledge.  I would name names, but it’s certain that I’d leave at least one of you out and then I’d totally be taken out of the friend Will… what’s that you say?  People don’t typically put their friends in their Wills?  Okay, fine… my friends Brad Pitt, Angie Jolie, Tom “couch jumper” Cruise, Steven Spielberg, Michael Jordan, and anyone with at least a 10-figure salary!  Again, make the  checks payable to WWtLin2011F!

— I am thankful for my Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ and for the knowledge I have that this life is just a test and one day I’ll go home to live out the eternities in my Kingdom in the sky… preferrably wearing less glasses and with less blender hair.

— I’m thankful to live in such a beautiful valley, even if I cuss it out every time it snows and/or gets below 40 degrees.  I’m thankful for the changing seasons and the clouds and the streams and trees and my beloved mountains and the canal filled with leeches in my backyard.

— I’m thankful for my body… this rickety ole body of mine that has been put through the ringer on several occasions and yet keeps on kicking despite it all.  Kicking is popular… just ask The Karate Kid.

— I am thankful for music… music that has gotten me through so many rough times in my life.  Music that lifts my spirits, music that makes me cry for no good reason at all, music that makes me ponder, and music that fills my soul with happiness.  I love singing it and listening to it and playing it on the piano and one day I hope to learn to play the nose flute with it.

— I am thankful that I have a roof over my head, a job for the time being, a sweet kitten who makes me laugh on a daily basis, the ability to speak and walk and think and daydream.  I am thankful for the clothes on my back (yes, even you ugly pants and rocking horse shoes).  I am thankful to have enough food to eat and clean water to drink and for CHOCOLATE… praise all that be holy.

— I am thankful for the gumption I’ve been able to pull from somewhere deep in my receptacle to conquer these beasts of mine and for the life I’m able to live more and more every day.  I am thankful for second chances and third chances, and 55th chances… and the fact that I was never a failure because I never stopped trying.

Just a sampling of what I’m grateful for.  Did I tell you I was a blessed girl?  Because I am… and don’t you forget it!

Question of the Day:  What are some things that you are thankful for? 

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