Tag Archives: Winner

Pan-Handling…But Not Literally!

It’s hard to type tonight.  I’m currently wearing 3 Band-Aids on my fingers on account of the fact that I made the mistake of getting in the middle of a fight between the cat and her shower rug… and then the 3rd finger I managed to grate to death.  Anyone for grated bloody finger skin on top of your taco!?!?  Yeah… that was nasty.  I apologize for saying it whilst not wearing my rose-colored glasses.  So, moral of the story:  Let the cat have her dagnabbed shower rug and buy pre-grated cheese.  Who invented the grater anyway!?!?  Obviously someone with more talent and skin than I have!

In other news, a month or so back, I entered a #GiftToast contest spons0red by JCPenney and Trisha Yearwood to win one of her pan sets.  I entered it thinking it would just be like any other contest I enter… chances slim to none that I’ll ever get that 1 minute it took to type my name and info back.  The last time I won something it was as a teeny bopper when I won a typewriter for entering an essay contest at GuidePosts Magazine.  When I say “won” I really mean I only won it for like an hour.  When they figured out that my birthday fell short of the age limit by a year, they took it back.  I was too young.  Y’all… can you believe how old I am!!!  I won a freaking TYPEWRITER when I was 15… a TYPEWRITER!?!?!?  Oh my laws, Grog, get me my chisel.

To make a short story even longer, I haven’t really won anything since, so I guess I was overdo because you could have knocked me over with a feather when Trisha Yearwood private messaged me to tell me that I had won her pan set!  I then immediately started giggling like a mental patient and I’m sure when I answered her back I said some really idiotic things.  Whitney and the idea of talking to a famous person do not go hand in hand… even if it’s behind a computer/phone screen!   Scratch that… Whitney and the idea of talking to ANYONE do not go hand in hand!

They arrived this past week… I’m pretty sure it’s a sign that I should cook more… and dump more bottles of oregano… and grate off my fingers more!

They’re ceramic non-stick so they’re super nice, and the clean up is a snap… especially since you can throw them in the dishwasher.  Look at me being all advertisey and such.  It was not one of the prerequisites to winning, I can assure you!

All in a day’s work… a $150 to $300 pan set for FREE… not lottery winning big yet, but a girl’s gotta work up to that.  An hour with a typewriter… pan set… BILLION DOLLARS!  But I guess first I’d have to become a gambler.  Eh… is Ed McMahon’s prize patrol still out there!?

Question of the Day:  Have you ever won anything?  If so, what was it?  

There was blue sky for approximately 2 minutes this morning before the heavy layer of inversion took over.  It’s the little things!

Baby BoBo Bear picture of the week… BoBear in a basket!

As if!!

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Don’t Rain On My Parade…

Back when I was full of vim and vigor and frankly a load of crap… when I was just a lass of about 11 or 12, I entered a contest that the Cache Valley Mall was putting on.  It was a Mother’s Day prize package wherein a comittee would pick the best essay about one’s own mother and the mother of that essay winner would get several prizes… flowers, a session in the photo studio, etc.  I entered… and for the life of me I can’t remember what I wrote that was so fascinating because it is lost for-e-v-e-r, but I ended up winning.  Allow me to show you one of the prizes my madre reaped…

STOP LAUGHING!!!  Them dresses are madre originals… sewn by hand… lace and everything.  No matter that I look like Laura Ingalls Wilder about to accept the wagon wheel award for best haystacking.  I’m also fascinated at the fact that all 3 of us have the same hair shape… kind of like a triangular frock of corn husks… or coneheads.  And the most pathetic part of this picture?  The glasses… they don’t have lenses in them.  When I arrived wearing my regular pair of glasses… a poor 11/12-year-old going on 45-year-old with a crick in my neck, the photographer said that they wouldn’t do.  My lenses were so big that the flash from the camera would make a glare on the picture… so instead of doing what any normal person would have done (aka take the glasses off and have the picture taken without them), we traipsed down the mall corridors to Baldwin Optical and found a similar pair of frames that I could borrow for said picture.  I’m wearing an ugly pair of glassless frames, lace-frocked, coneheaded, and frankly embarrassed to have won anything!  My mom hung the gigantic-sized version of this picture on our hall wall for many years… and then one day it up and suddenly disappeared.  I don’t have a clue who would do such a thing to such a masterpiece… coughcough.

Happy Mother’s Day to my momma… your gift from me (besides the other gifts I gave you) is the re-emergence of this heart-touching picture.  It’s like a gentle reminder that we were always nerds.

***

In even less interesting news, I walked in a parade this past Saturday in the wind and rain, uphill both ways with no socks or shoes with a too-small umbrella for my gigantic head.

Coughcough… April, I stole your picture… but look at me giving you credit.  I carried this banner in my left hand and the umbrella in my right hand, and by the time I got home 4 miles later, my arms were stuck in those same positions for the rest of the weekend!   Also, I resemble the BFG in this picture (oh you all have to remember the book The BFG… Big Friendly Giant!)  Deal with it.

Happy Mother’s Day to all of my friends out there in mother land.  I respect and admire your selfless, long-suffering, hard-working ways, and I know that you are all raising/have raised children to be proud of!   I hope your day yesterday was filled with relaxation and chocolate… and love from your families.

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And the Winner Is…. and Other Ramblings!

I’ve drawn the winner of the bag of Chip’Ins and bottle of Fuze!  Y’all can’t even handle the suspense, can you?  Did I forget to mention that hidden inside the bag of Chip’Ins was a $1,000,000 bill?  Ooops… my bad.  Of course I’m lying… the day I find that amount of money ANYWHERE is the day I take off for the Bahamas.  See you, Sprinter!!  More on that later. 

What were we talking about?  Oh, yes… the winner of my first giveaway.  I used a very scientifical method to pick said winner, all of these logarithms and Einstein equations and…  Forget it… I’m not fooling anybody.  I made a numbered list, put all of your names next to the numbers (the people who entered on both Facebook and the blog were entered under 2 separate numbers) and then I went to Random.org and typed in for them to pick a random number between the numbers 1 and 23 (oh my laws… can I please bore you any more?  Y’all set your alarm clock for 30 more seconds and I should be done with all of this boring crap… power nap!)  The lucky number picked was number 10!!  Person number 10… step forward and claim your prize…  What’s that you say?  You have no idea how to read my jumbled mind?  The winner… drumroll….

ERICKA

Woo hoo!  Go, Ericka, it’s yo’ birfday… we gonna party like it’s your birfday!  I will send you a separate email to get your info, Ericka!  Thank you all for entering.  Stay tuned because I plan on having more giveaways… I think the next giveaway will be a doozy… my favorite pair of underoos purchased in 1997…  KIDDING!  I would never do that to you all.  You ever wonder what’s wrong with those people who give away used underwear to goodwill?  Seriously!?  Major brain malfunction. 

Next up… the weekend… this is how I spent most of my weekend: 

WEEPING!!  Only because it’s been snowing every day all day since Thursday.  Oh, the humanity!  Picture this… you’re a kid and your mom tells you that you will be going to a party… a party filled with all your friends and candy and pillows made out of chocolate pudding and genies that pop out of lanterns and grant you your favorite wish and you just so happen to be best friends with Donald Trump… and then when you get to this magical party land, you spend the whole time waist deep in cow manure.  That’s pretty much what a week of snowing during spring is like!  My mom told me I needed to count my blessings and be grateful that the sun poked it’s head out of the clouds and fog for approximately 1 hour last evening… you know what I said to that?  Cow Pucky!!  I’ll be grateful when I get 2 days in a row of no snow/cold/rain.  Take that and serve it for dinner!  Grateful my rear femur!

Meanwhile, I’ve been numbdumb eating like it’s New Year’s Eve 1999 and all the computers are about to explode in that whole Y2K catastrophe some computer geeks made up after they finished solving logarithms on their computing systems.  I was walking around in my state of anger and frustration and depression over the craptastic weather, eating everything within arm’s length.  I know I’m an emotional eater and I usually can curb that when I think long and hard about what emotion I’m having… but at this point, I haven’t cared to think about it.  I’d just rather numbdumb eat it away.  I got out last night during the 1 hour of sun peeking out of the clouds, and even though it was frigid, it gave me a chance to clear my head and remember what I’m doing here.  My brain yelled at my mouth… STOP… and hopefully that was enough to jolt it out of it’s stupidity.  I tell you what, seasonal affective disorder (SAD) ain’t here to make friends… she’s here to take prisoners!  No worries, though, I already have a plan…  I plan on calling my good pal Donald Trump to bail me out of this mess.  Donald… you hungry for some leftover Snickers? 

Put this into perspective, Whitney.  The spring fog will clear… there’s never been a time when it hasn’t!

Question of the Day:  What do  you do to lift your spirits during neverending Sprinter (aka Winter masquerading as… Winter)?

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