– I will save y’all from the inner workings of my cloud-filled noggin… today it has been bursting into random jags of bawling and/or that numb feeling where you just want to cut it off. On the upside, I finally got my butt into the doctor’s office this morning and “hopefully” discovered why I have been feeling like a cow turd with my shaking chills alternating with fever sweats, achy body, headache, cloudy noggin, and overall fatiguey feeling like all I can manage to muster is a howdy y’all. The bad news, I waited too long to have it checked, so instead of a rather simple urinary tract infection, it has also spread up into my already disease kidneys… thus the shaking chills. The reason I was convinced to finally see a doctor? I blacked out 3 times this morning and almost fainted when my knees refused to hold my weight. I look for ALL of the signs! You will thank me later.
– I just bawled during a commercial for hearing aids… not just a tear up thing… but a big ole bawl because the cute grandpa could now hear his bad actress granddaughter say that she loved him! Oh, the humanity!!
– I bawled because the elevator broke at the hospital today and how the hill hall are the candy stripers gonna make it to the 3rd floor… plus, I had to walk weakly up 3 flights of stairs just to give a sample of something I’d rather never give to anyone… let alone someone I like.
– I bawled when Piers Morgan from “America’s Got Talent” buzzed the cute little wee girls whose voices resemble that of a chipmunk… but they’re talented… give them a few more years or wo-rmone building. I’d let them borrow 8 gallons of mine today.
Pretty sure all this bawling is a combination from feeling like I’m riding underneath a dump truck on the way up a dirt road… mixed with the wo-rmones from Jupiter. So, in the meantime, talk amongst yourselves and I’m going to down pain pills, antibiotis, Jack Daniels mixed with cranberry juice (JOKES), and proceed to use my brain for what it’s best at… absolutely NOTHING!!
This is what I looked like during the hearing aid commercial… y’all… that was TENDER!