Marching Toward Madness… The Half Marathon Edition… Almost

After I wrote this post on Wednesday about whether or not I should do a 5K I got called out by a friend on the lazy arse excuse I made for why I couldn’t do a half marathon (what up, TJ).  I had been feeling down in the dumps lately in regard to journeying and standing still in said journey and even moving upward, instead of downward on the scale on said journey… and I was losing confidence… and fast.  Fast like a gaggle of teeny bopper girls at a Twilight convention.  That night I made up my mind that I was going to walk a half marathon on Saturday whether it killed me off or not.  Was it the smartest idea I’ve ever had?  No… but I rarely have smart ideas unless they involve a microwave, a bag of Dove chocolate caramels, and a pumpkin cupcake.  Most people train for months before they up and do any form of half marathon or full marathon or quadruple marathon.  They just do.  Because it’s common sense and it’s smart and did I mention how smart it was?

Not me… I didn’t want to have months to train.  I exercise 4 to 6 times a week… I’m already trained… but mostly trained to sit on the couch and eat above-mentioned microwave/chocolate/muffin concoction.  It sounded a lot easier in my head… I would carve out 4 hours in my Saturday morning to walk this thing and then when I got home I’d be able to do all the other desires of my heart like grocery shop and go peruse the hanging flower baskets and go to dinner and to a movie.  I had a plan… and when I have a plan lately, it’s going to happen.  Up until the morning of, I think Madre thought I’d change my mind like I usually did and just sleep in… especially since she had volunteered to walk it with me.  In fact, when I lumbered up the stairs at 9:00 Saturday morning raring to go, Madre was eating breakfast and lounging around in her muumuu like we didn’t have a schedule!  As if!

I’d marked the path the night before in the car… measuring the distance to make sure I’d get in the full 13.1 miles.  Then, Saturday morning, I loaded up a backpack (what up, Carl) with water bottles, granola bars, string cheese, Kleenexes (it’s allergy season), gum, a camera, and a cellphone (because I did have the thought to have a safety backup unless for some reason I couldn’t make it home on my legs).  It was 39 degrees when we started out… but the rain from the night before had stopped, leaving a cool cloud pattern in the sky.

I knew I would get long-winded on this post, so I’m splitting it up into 2 segments (the 2nd of which will be posted tomorrow in which I give a mile by mile account of what was running through my head).  The most pressing question to answer… did I finish?  Almost… I say almost because I made it 12 miles… 1 mile short of my planned 13… but I did make it home on my own legs, crawling the last 2 miles, without having to call in the backup transportation.  That bugged me for a long time Saturday afternoon… that blasted 1 mile I couldn’t muster to finish… but I’m not going to cheapen the experience.  12 miles is still a dagnabbed lot of miles to walk… especially when my nontraining included at most 4 miles a day.  As for the rest of my plans after whipping out 12 miles?  WHATEVS!!  Those plans drastically changed due to the fact that my legs, feet, buttocks, face, coccyx, hips, spleen, and pretty much every other organ that ever existed inside anyone in all of history were revolting!  They had little picket signs and everything.  OUCH!  I did manage to make it to the grocery store, but only if it meant I could lean on the cart for support or be carried around by 8 muscley guys named, Marvin.

Ask me if I plan on doing it again?  HELL NO… ARE YOU INSANE?!?!  You may need to wait at least 2 months until my mind has erased all memory of ever feeling like I’ve been hit by a MACK truck to ask me that question again… maybe by that time my answer will be a resounding HELL YES!!  We’ll see…

Question of the Day:  What’s the hardest physical activity you’ve ever done?  






Filed under Exercise

25 responses to “Marching Toward Madness… The Half Marathon Edition… Almost


    I am so impressed. And your reponse reminded me of having a baby. Every women right after that experience she says “NO” but after she has time to think and heal the answer is “YES.” But then again I hiked the to Table Rock and said, “been there, done that, NEVER doing it again.” And I haven’t!!

  2. kim

    Holy Crap!! You are amazing!! Who cares about the last mile!! You walked 12 stinkin miles!!! You are truly an inspiration for me! Thank you!

  3. Avster

    My hardest physical activity will transpire tomorrow when I attempt to read tomorrow’s post of twelve miles worth of thoughts that went through Whitney’s head. 😮 😉

    Way to go, Whit! I thought that the nine miles my friend walked a few weeks ago was a lot!

  4. Blythe S. Berger

    I’m thrilled for you. That’s a great accomplishment – – -especially with no long-distance training! I’m impressed! AND I think you WILL do another half marathon and complete it – – -just because you know you can now! You’ve inspired me to sign up for one now, IF I can find one that’s not in the summer heat!

    • Summer heat and half marathons do not mix!! I was glad that it was a cooler day that day… even if at times it was too chilly, it’s way better than roasting on the pavement!

  5. dessawade

    Very proud of you Whit! It was a looonnnggg morning but enjoyed hanging out with you and seeing your perserverance to keep going. We put one foot in front of the other and look where it got us. I dare say you’ll do it again someday.

  6. Jenalee

    Wow! That is impressive! Good job!

  7. kittywampus!

    If you’re ever in SF in May, I suggest you try the Bay to Breakers. It’s 12k east to west across the city. It’s actually 2 races held simultaneously, the serious runners start early (with lots of tortillas being tossed) and 30 minutes later the goofballs start. Why goofballs? Because costumes are allowed, and most everything else is too. Many local fraternities enter as groups and they carry kegs in their shopping carts which they roll along with them. The first half the course follows a main commercial street so there’s lots of bars which participants are allowed to patronize, although the aforementioned fraternities are pretty generious with their beer. When i did it, i walked with a group of pirates who ended up in a squirtgun war with another group of pirates. There was another group of people dressed as salmon, being chased by a sushi chef. Get it? Oddly enough, the costume that started it all, the caterpillar, isn’t very common anymore. Lots of crossdressing types, but that takes no imagination. Anyway, the course ends at Golden Gate park & they have lots of festivities there too. The only thing i didn’t like about it were the naked people. It’s a fact that the people whom you least want to see naked are the ones who run the race naked. Technically that’s not allowed but the cops are pretty lenient.

    To answer your question, the hardest physical activity was getting my face back to normal, the whole time i was laughing so hard it stuck!

    • kittywampus!

      do a google image search on Bay to Breakers…yeah, it really is that decadent.

    • Oh my laws, Kit!! That pretty much sounds like a whole group of folk broke out of the sanitarium one Saturdee and decided to run in a race! That rocks that they have 2 different races for the serious and the sanitarium dwellers! I just Googled some images… LMAO!! Forget about running it… I just want a seat on the side of the road!

      • Louisa a.k.a. ProudMomToTwo

        LOL – I too Googled it and sign me up to sit right there with ya, Whitney. That is a people watcher paradise…

  8. cl2

    Way to Go!

    I guess I’d say hoeing beets, hauling hay, picking up potatoes, picking tomatoes, planting cantaloupe on our hands and knees on block long rows–the list goes on and on–being a farmer’s daughter. We were never overweight as kids . . . could use some of that hard labor.

  9. Way to go Whit! Very impressive–way to challenge yourself! That was no small feat!

  10. Louisa a.k.a. ProudMomToTwo

    Question of the Day: What’s the hardest physical activity you’ve ever done?

    Well, I would have to say growing up on the farm with the garden and the hay had to be the hardest thing. We had no problem with our weight or what we ate back then. Team sports in school was a breeze in comparison.
    UNTIL….childbirth. Giving birth to my daughter went ok but my son’s birth was a whole-nother-thing! I always say, if he was born first – he would be an only child. Sure don’t want to ever have to go through that again. No way – no how!

    • Louisa a.k.a. ProudMomToTwo

      Oops – I forgot to tell you how incredibly AWESOME your walking those 12 miles is. I am so stinkin’ proud of you right now!!
      That is a huge achievement and even though you are sore ( who wouldn’t be?) you now know that YOU CAN do 12 miles!! Each time you walk more than your usual
      ( 4 miles I think you said ) you are pushing yourself to improve. Knowing that you can walk 12 miles is an amazing accomplishment. There is no stopping you now. What will you accomplish next?

    • Thank you, Louisa! It feels good to accomplish something new. Ugh… so sorry your second birth was so torturous… but glad you got a good little dude out of the deal. When he’s all grown up, you’ll need to use that birth torture story often!

  11. Deanna

    Good for you girl! That is AMAZING! I can’t wait to hear about the rest of the adventure!

    I would have to say that the hardest physical activity that I have done thus far has been completing a Duathalon. 2 miles of running, 22 miles of biking and another 2 miles of running. The entire course was extreme hills. The last 2 miles is the worst for so many reasons. By this time you are already completely physically exhausted and you just got off the bike from a difficult and long bike ride so the legs are like jelly. Yeah, that was some hard stuff.

    No joke though. I was asked the same day and again the next day, “Are you going to do it again next year?” I said the same thing. ARE YOU CRAZY! HELL NO!

    I registered for the same duathalon in February. I’m just starting to train now for the event in September. My goal is to finish and beat my time from last year, if even only by a minute. 🙂

    Bottom line: You should be very proud. Don’t let the physical pain hold you back from doing it again. No pain, no gain right? Do it again. This time, just have a goal to do it better. 🙂 You’ll just feel that much more pride the next time around. Just think to yourself. Would you have done this 5 years ago? If so, would you have had the physical endurance to do as well as you did this time? In a year from now you will be that much MORE prepared for the same event. I think you are nothing short of amazing and you have proven to all of us that you can do anything that you set your mind to doing.

  12. Pingback: Three Is Totes More Than One… and Two! « craving a life

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